My Today

by HJ Bellus

  My Today

  HJ Bellus

  Edited by Edee Fallon at My Book Addiction

  &Bethany Castaneda at A Beautiful Cover

  Photography on Cover by Bethany Castaneda at A Beautiful Cover

  https://www.facebook.com/ABeautifulCover

  Copyright 2013 HJ Bellus

  All Rights Reserved.

  Formatting by HJ Bellus

  All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopy, recording, or otherwise, without prior written permission.

  This is a work of fiction. The names, characters, incidents, and places are products of the author’s imagination and are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, or actual events are entirely coincidental.

  Dedication

  This book would still be rattling around in my head…without the love and encouragement from two hookers. I originally knew them as bloggers, but now they are my dear friends. You ladies mean the world to me, and brighten my day without even knowing it. In no particular order…

  Lydia,

  I love you grande time. Thanks for helping me with everything. You always put your whole heart into your projects. You have been my lifeline, motivation and support system during this process. Not a day goes by that I don’t talk to you. You are a beautiful person inside and out, and I am very blessed to have you in my life. Lacey is dedicated to you for your kickass attitude, don’t give up personality and showing me the true meaning of friendship!

  Silly Jilly,

  What can I say, fishter? I love you so much. I instantly fell in love with your blog. I have loved reading your quirky posts and playing your damn word games. You were the first blog I contacted, and since that moment you have been nothing but sweet, kind and loveable to me. You have inspired me in so many ways to become a better author, healthier person and a fashionably well-dressed hoochie. Tripp is dedicated to you. He loves big, protects his family and regrets nothing.

  “To learning to regret nothing and painting the prettiest masterpiece of friendship a farm girl could ever dream of…cheers!” –HJ Bellus

  Table of Contents

  Prologue

  Chapter 1

  Oh Fuck!

  Chapter 2

  Truce to Ruin

  Chapter 3

  Rocky Road Ice Cream

  Chapter 4

  Dessert Anyone?

  Chapter 5

  Burrito Slap

  Chapter 6

  The Past

  Chapter 7

  Black and White

  Chapter 8

  Whizzletits & Whipped Cream

  Chapter 9

  I’m Going To Hurt You

  Chapter 10

  I’m Done

  Chapter 11

  Recover Me

  Chapter 12

  Where’s My Princess?

  Chapter 13

  My Scars, My Beauty

  Chapter 14

  A Little Girl’s Dream

  Chapter 15

  Coach’s Wife

  Chapter 16

  Fireworks

  Chapter 17

  A Rose

  Chapter 18

  Corn Cob…

  Chapter 19

  My Castle

  Chapter 20

  You Gonna Do Good

  Chapter 21

  Ken & Barbie

  Chapter 22

  The End

  Chapter 23

  Super Secret Project

  Chapter 24

  Broken Plans

  Chapter 25

  The Beautiful End

  Prologue

  Love is ugly

  Love is cruel

  It cuts and leaves you bleeding

  Love is poison

  Love is damaging

  It leaves stains on your skin

  Love is that monster in your room

  Love is a dad who refuses you

  When you know this love

  It is all you have and can give

  Until you see ugly as your beauty

  Then true love becomes

  Surrounded in the roses and butterflies of your life

  Nestled deep down in your soul

  Without fear or hesitation

  You can simply be “loved”

  For you

  Just For Today

  You have to know ugly before you can experience true beauty. The ugly tattoos are the ones that stand out in this world. That’s right, this world that is so desperately striving for a perfected beauty and stops at nothing to achieve it. Give me the ugly and worn masterpieces to cover my body and engulf my soul, never allowing me to forget the pain that has brought us all to the imperfect perfect presence of time. Sometimes a train wreck can turn into a beautiful something that is only truly admired by the passengers. Love is ugly…but worth every single piece of debris. Love big. Hurt even bigger. -Tripp & Lacey

  Chapter 1

  Oh Fuck!

  Lacey

  February 15th

  My head felt like it was going to freaking explode at any moment. I should have stopped drinking after Milly and Cree left the reception. This was going to hurt, but I had to open my eyes, I thought to myself. A warm and hard-oh, very hard-body was wrapped around me. Greyson? Oh, hell no it couldn’t be Greyson. Jesus Christ, did I bang Greyson? I could feel the morning wood pressing into my hip, so I knew it couldn’t be a girl this time. It was always so much easier when it was a girl. Well, here goes nothing.

  I rolled over to see Tripp. Holy Fuck Buckets! I went to bed with Cree’s cousin? This was bad… very, very bad. Tripp was a raging asshole and I gave up my lovely lady humps to him. Unfreakingbelievable!

  He was incredibly sexy and ripped with muscle, though. The man was fucking huge! He’s over six feet tall, tan and chiseled. He’s a beast and a very hot beast at that. His shaggy, dark hair and tattooed body was freakin’ amazing. The kind of amazing that makes your panties melt and your titties ache with want. Tripp’s face was statuesque, like one of a Roman god. He had a strong jaw line covered in stubble that was begging to be licked and his deep, brown eyes could drown anyone in lust.

  I was admiring the asshole when he started to wake. Tripp rolled over, stretched, scratched his balls and climbed out of bed naked. His body took the freaking cake! Ripped to no end with a taut ass, and well, his package? Good hell! He went into the bathroom and slammed the door behind him. Well, good morning to you, too. Like I said, he was a raging prick and I’m just your average slut.

  “Make yourself disappear before I come back out!” Tripp yelled.

  “What?”

  “I said get the fuck out of my house. Now!”

  I was now standing inches from the bathroom door. Tripp had no idea who he was talking to. I don’t put up with being disrespected by anyone, especially an arrogant bastard like him.

  “You want to come say that to my face, tough guy?”

  As soon as the words left my mouth, the door flew open with an assault of pure hatred and anger. Tripp’s face fell in disbelief the moment his eyes realized who was standing before him. The motherfucker genuinely looked shocked at the sight of me. He truly had no idea who he had taken to bed last night.

  “What were you saying you fucking dickhead?”

  “I uh...Lacey, I didn’t know it was you. I got pretty fucked up last night and...”

  “Don’t worry, Tripp. You weren’t worth remembering.”

  I lied. I didn’t fucking remember a thing from last night either. For all I know we could have sat around and read the Bible together naked. Pretty sure that didn’t happen, though.

  “I’m sorry! I didn
’t know it was you!”

  “No worries. We’re just two fuck-ups anyway. Forget it.”

  I grabbed my dress and sandals off the floor and walked outside in my lacey thong. Yes, my titties were exposed to the world and I didn’t give a flying fuck. I needed to be away from the biggest dick I had ever met. Literally and figuratively. I threw on my dress as I started walking down the dirt road. The quaint, little cabin was a little over a half mile from my sister’s house and that’s exactly where my heart needed to be. My Milly would fix this.

  Most girls would be bawling and causing all sorts of drama with Tripp right about now. There’s one thing about me you should know, and it’s the most important thing. I don’t put up with anyone’s shit and I make no apologies to anyone. I grew a backbone at the age of fourteen. I took care of the last fucker who hurt me and I refused to allow anyone else the same privilege.

  So, Tripp Fitzpatrick could take a flying fuck for all I cared. It takes more than getting kicked out of a bed to hurt me. He sure as hell won’t have to worry about me begging to get back into it anytime soon. It just sucked big ol’ donkey dick that I don’t remember anything from last night because I was pretty sure the sex was epic, mind-blowing, orgasmic animal sex.

  Tripp

  I screwed that up royally. I had no idea I brought Lacey home last night. We had spent the last week together helping with the wedding plans. She was the coolest chick I had ever been around. She didn’t play any fucking head games and she was hot as hell. Not the kind of hot you take to the country club or bring home to your momma, but the harden your cock kind of hot. The girl had more ink covering her delicate skin than I did. She was a healthy size too, none of that stick thin shit. Oh, and her huge tits…

  Her carefree spirit and I-don’t-give-a-fuck attitude was liberating to be around after all the horny skanks I was used to back home. She had a hard exterior, but I noticed her careful touch with Mac and Annie. Milly and Lacey were super tight, just like sisters. I didn’t want to screw up their relationship by being Cree’s dick cousin here on the farm. There was something uniquely odd and refreshing about Lacey that kept pulling me to her.

  I shouldn’t have drank last night. Alcohol was either always my friend or nemesis. I could control my consumption when I wanted to. Cocaine and sex were my go to drugs to numb all the pain in my life. I fucked girls and threw them away as fast as I could. It was my tragic way of survival. It fucked me up real good and now I had to live life day by day, promising myself not to survive on it anymore.

  I wanted a hit of cocaine every fucking second of every fucking day since leaving rehab. The only person that knew all my dark secrets was my cousin Cree. He brought me to his expansive, thriving farm to help me overcome my addiction and to show me a new way of life outside of the city. Cree and I had always been super close. It was almost like we shared an invisible bond that connected us as brothers instead of cousins. I’m an asshole, but I couldn’t be the asshole that ruined his family.

  I had to go find Lacey and beg for her forgiveness. She deserved an apology. I never would have fucked her and kicked her out the next morning if I’d been clear headed. I wouldn’t hurt her that way. Damn, I bet the sex was good last night. Wish I could remember it.

  Chapter 2

  Truce to Ruin

  Tripp

  Lacey was walking up the dirt road with her wild, thick, blonde hair piled up on her head. All of her crazy curls were twirling around in the brisk, chilly breeze. Her colorful tattoos flowed up and down her arms and chest. The girl was fucking gorgeous without even trying to be. I hopped on the farm’s yellow four-wheeler and headed her direction.

  “Let me give you a ride to Milly’s place.”

  “Fuck off!”

  “Seriously, let me give you a ride.”

  “Seriously, fuck off!”

  The little shit wouldn’t listen to me, so I grabbed her arm and spun her around to face me. I was expecting see tears and smeared mascara running down her face from my cruel words. That’s the way girls work with their fucking emotional roller coaster going full-force. Not Lacey. Her face was dry and her eyes were full of venom, ready to strike.

  “Lacey, I’m so sorry! You have to listen to me. I’m used to treating women the way I treated you this morning. I don’t deny it. I didn’t know it was you. I was so ignorant that I didn’t even look down when I crawled out of bed. I don’t regret taking you home last night. I just wished I would’ve been sober enough to enjoy it. I’m sorry. I acted like an asshole this morning. I’m really sorry.”

  “Tripp, it’s fine. I understand. I’m just as angry at myself for getting fucked up and not remembering. We shouldn’t have done it. I don’t want to mess anything up here. Milly is my only family and I need her more than fucking around with you. Truce?”

  “Truce. I’m in the same boat as you. Cree is the only one that understands me. I need him right now and I need this farm.”

  I tentatively held out my hand with no expectation of Lacey grabbing it. “Do you want a ride or are you going to be your stubborn ass self and walk?”

  The little shit actually tilted her head and thought about it while she grabbed my hand. The feel of her delicate skin in my rough, calloused hand sent a wave of electric sensation ripping though me, starting in the tips of my fingers and shooting down to my toes. She was having a hard time deciding what she wanted to do. Any other girl would have been up in my lap in a heartbeat, and ready to fuck. The touch and feel of her perfect skin instantly made me hard. This girl definitely got under my skin, and not in a good way.

  “Scoot back! I’m driving, Tripp.”

  “No. I am driving. Get your ass on the back, blondie.”

  “No! I’m driving and if you have a problem with it I will tell everyone how small your dick is.”

  “What? It’s not small, and you wouldn’t fucking dare...”

  “I would. Trust me, I can be a real convincing biotch when need be!”

  I let her win this tiny battle; it was miniscule really. She hopped on in front of me and popped the ATV into first gear, sending it sailing forward and flipping me backwards. I was forced to grab her waist, so she wouldn’t dump me on my ass.

  “Did you do that on purpose?”

  “I’ll never tell,” she giggled.

  “I better hold on then,” I whispered into her ear. I skated my lips down her neck leaving a trail of fresh goose bumps in my wake.

  This girl had no idea who she was screwing with. I’m a player on and off the diamond and have damn good game. I wrapped my arms around her waist, then slowly drifted them upwards, so that the bottom of her tits were resting on my forearms. Every single hole or rock we hit made them bounce off my arms as she drove us up to Cree’s place. I’m pretty sure my balls were about to explode at any minute, but it’s all for the love of the game.

  Lacey

  I was hoping that I could get up to my room without everyone witnessing my walk of shame. No such luck! We walked through the back door to find everyone in the kitchen staring at us. Milly was sitting at the bar nursing baby Mac, and Annie was perched on the counter cracking eggs while Cree fried bacon shirtless. Willow was flipping pancakes and Tripp’s parents were at the table on their laptops. Just my fucking luck!

  “Good morning everyone,” I squeaked out.

  “Aunt Lacey, where you been?” squealed Annie.

  Oh dear god, how do I answer her in front of everyone? All the adults in the room knew exactly where I had been and who I had been doing.

  “Um…she was helping me fix my bathtub. Uh yeah, it had a leak,” Tripp said.

  “Is it fixed, Unky?”

  “Yeah, we got it all fixed up.”

  “Did you get all wet?”

  Holy Shit! I was ready to stuff a sock in Annie.

  “Nope. No more questions, squirt,” Tripp said in a rush as he turned about sixty shades of red.

  Oh my hell! Did he just tell the whole room I was helping fix his bathtub? I shot daggers
his direction and he just shrugged his shoulders. Cree was trying to control a major fit of laughter at the lame excuse that was pouring from Tripp.

  “I was just trying to help you,” he whispered into my ear and cupped my ass at the same time.

  My body loved his touch way too much for its own good. The dickhead was a major turn-on, but it was time to put him back in his place.

  “Real smooth, dumbass,” I hissed back as I punched him in the groin barely missing his junk.

  The only man I loved with all of my heart saved my ass from all the stares and Tripp’s retaliation, Mac. Mac started wailing from underneath Milly’s shirt and diverted all the attention from us. I’d supply this boy with all the candy in the world when he grew in his little chompers.

  “Give me my boy! It’s okay Mac. Your favorite aunt is here,” I cooed to him as I grabbed him from Milly and started to burp the little bugger.

  Tripp

  Breakfast was hell. I felt my parents disapproving stares boring holes through me the whole time. My dad actually kept his fucking mouth shut for once. He believed I was a screw up and nothing but trash, and that is exactly how he had always treated me. My mother just tried to keep the peace and never stood up for herself, or for what was right. She was a spineless fool.

  I was thankful they were leaving today and would be all the way across the country. I needed away from my father’s poison. He was a cancer that sucked every last piece of joy out of me. I would never live up to his expectations like my brother Grant had.

  My mother started to rattle on about their travel plans while we cleaned up breakfast. The girls had escaped to somewhere in the house. Milly didn’t want a honeymoon until this summer, so Cree insisted on cooking and cleaning for her while she tended to Mac and Annie. He was fucking pussy whipped and I ribbed him about it every chance I got.

  I went upstairs to help my dad carry their luggage down to their rental car. I had my hands full and was ready to retreat downstairs when he grabbed my arm to stop me. Here it comes, the shit storm…

  “Listen up! I put on the happy face this week for Cree’s sake. You better not fuck up your life here. Looks like you already fucked that thing of a friend Milly has. You need to stop being such a piece of shit and get a life. You’ve been nothing but a fuck up your whole life. Try to straighten up.”