My Today

by HJ Bellus

  I then noticed she was wearing some of Francis’ god-awful, ugly clip on earrings. They were gold and had a huge pearl adorned in the center. The funniest part was, one earring was missing the center. But my little toothless tiger was sporting them proudly. I never knew Francis May Crazy Pants, but from all of Milly’s crazy stories, I felt like she was my fairy godmother. Note to self: Watch Annie’s ears and make sure they don’t turn purple tonight.

  “Wait here grumpy pants. We will go get your food,” Tripp said as he bent down to kiss my forehead.

  He hoisted his girl up from his lap to his shoulders, and they strolled away together. Tripp was wearing his signature khaki shorts, that I always wanted to rip off, and a snug tank top. He still took my breath away, even after everything we had gone through. You hear women gush on about all the “doe in the headlight” talk, and falling hopelessly in love all the time, and I always thought they were lame-ass fools. Love came and love went. Sex happened and sex ended. I am just a knocked up, doe gushing over her buck going to get her some slop at the state fair. Life is funny!

  Sixteen minutes and twenty-two seconds later, I finally spotted the pair making their way down the midway. Annie was holding two corndogs dripping with mustard in one hand, and a bowl of sliced caramel apples in the other. Tripp was carrying a box! A box of freakin’ fried fair food for me. Like I said, the motherfucker still took my breath away on a daily basis.

  “What’s in the box, big guy?”

  Tripp sat the box down with caramel dripping from one ear and mustard smeared all down the other side of his neck. I was going to owe the man big time. Like, blow job big time. Like all the way blow job. I could handle it for some damn grub.

  “You better eat every effin’ piece of food you requested or…” Tripp lowered down and whispered “I will shove my very large boy part in your ass tonight.”

  Uncontrollable laughter hit at his threat. Tripp was always threatening to give it to me in the ass as a form of punishment. I sat up tall enough to suck the caramel sauce off his ear, and then darted my sticky, sweet tongue into his ear.

  “Baby, I look forward to it,” I whispered into his ear.

  “You can’t handle it,” he chuckled.

  Tripp started passing the food out. He basically stacked everything in front of me and I followed my plan of attack. Corndog first, bitches. No surprise, Annie pulled a slice of cheese pizza from the box and Tripp grabbed a double cheeseburger. He went for my fries a couple of times and his hand paid the price.

  “Unky, can I go play that ball game right there?” Annie asked.

  Tripp looked at me for approval and I just shrugged my shoulders. The game was about ten feet away, but there were people everywhere and it would be so easy to lose sight of her.

  “Let’s go sit over there on that piece of grass by the game and finish eating while Annie tries to win a fish,” I suggested.

  This meant Tripp had to gather up all the food and relocate us to our new spot.

  His face said, “Are you fucking serious?” But his body movements said, “Yes baby anything you want.”

  I bought a Navajo blanket thingamajig that they always sell at fairs, for us to sit on. It was a pokey little bastard, but it got the job done. Tripp gave Annie a hundred dollar bill to win herself a fish and I about shit my capris. I tried to reason with him, but he insisted she win a fish. He also let the carnies know they better not rip her off or he would bash their heads in. He could be so beastly sometimes.

  Perched on the grass, I continued enjoying my food, and Tripp helped Annie toss ping pong balls into goldfish bowls, while finishing his greasy burger. I guess he knew what he was doing when he gave her a hundred, because sixty-two dollars later, we finally had two fish. I was fucking praying that one was a girl and one was a boy. Milly needed to add fish farmer to her sprawling resume.

  Annie was busy holding her new fish up to the sky to inspect them, and Tripp was sprawled out on the blanket taking a breather from all the activity. I took a cheesy fry and lapped some of the mustard on it from his neck and then popped it in my mouth. “I love you,” I mouthed through my cheesy fry.

  “Love you too, Princess Pain In My Ass,” he said exhausted.

  “Come here, baby,” I said, and pulled him to me.

  I started to feed him some cotton candy, since he had been a good boy after all. Actually, I was so full that I thought I was about to split my panties any second. Tripp wrapped his hands around my waist and let me feed him cotton candy. He still had mustard on his neck, and in good conscience, I couldn’t let my hubs walk around the state fair covered in mustard. My tongue took care of the job, sucking the mustard and parts of his flesh into my mouth.

  “I want you to feed me cotton candy naked at home,” he whispered into my ear as I finished cleaning him.

  “Deal,” I said pulling back, looking into his eyes and imprinting every detail of his masculine face into my memory forever.

  We could talk without saying a word sometimes. The heated fuel was building up between us, right in public, in the middle of thousands of people, and we didn’t care. It took no words to let each other know we needed to be alone together, and very naked.

  Annie chose this moment to catapult her sticky and very sweaty little body between us.

  “Unky, we ready to go throw baseballs at those milk can things. Remember you said you has the heat to nail’ em,” she chimed.

  The clueless little bugger didn’t realize that, when she sprang between us, she landed right on Tripp’s nuts. He was doubled over in pain, holding his junk, moaning in excruciating pain like he had just had his nuts jumped on.

  “You tummy hurt, Unky?” Annie asked.

  Tripp finally managed to look up at us, with a slightly green face and watery eyes, “Oh right in the Sacagawea,” he said.

  “Sacagawea? What’s that?” Annie asked.

  “You nailed me right in the Sacagawea, squirt,” he replied.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “He knows, pumpkin. You gotta be careful around boys and their Sacagawea’s, okay?” I assured little Annie.

  “Kay, can we go play?”

  “Yes, squirt. Let’s go win Aunt Lacey, you, and the new baby a stuffed animal,” Tripp said.

  “What about my momma and Mac? Oh, and my dad?” Annie asked.

  “You better have brought the heat, little girl. We have lots of shit to win,” Tripp said as he stood up.

  “Spanking! You get a spanking for saying a bad word,” I said cheerfully.

  “Go buy some more cotton candy and you can spank me when we get home,” Tripp teased.

  Two hundred dollars and, six extremely large stuffed animals later, we were making our way to the Jeep. It took Tripp twenty minutes of strategically stacking the animals in the backseat of the Jeep to get them all in.

  Little Annie was dead asleep in my arms and my head was perched down on hers. We had walked through all of the barns, fed the animals at the petting zoo, rode the ponies and all the rides, and had our faces painted. Tripp and Annie got baseballs on their cheeks and the number eight. Tripp’s number. I had a gremlin painted on my face. We snapped a picture and sent it to Milly. She never responded, so I knew shit must have been deep back home on the farm.

  Before Annie, the queen of the fair, passed out she claimed the giant buffalo for Mac, the overstuffed gorilla for her dad, SpongeBob for her momma and the dragon for herself. Tripp had to give one of the stuffed animals away because we had way too much shit for the Jeep. He chose to keep a ginormous hot pink crocodile for us. I was shocked because he gave a little red head boy a gigantic stuffed wolf. He winked at me when he kept the crocodile.

  “You look beautiful,” Tripp said, snapping me from my thoughts.

  “Yeah, real beautiful. Sweaty, sticky and swollen. You have real high standards, tough guy.”

  “You look beautiful with Annie in your arms. I can’t wait to see our baby there.”

  “Me neither. Me neither, Tripp,” I wh
ispered, feeling excited, panicked and nervous all at the same time.

  Tripp took the little sleeping beauty from my arms and buckled her up in her booster. We propped her dragon up next to her and wrapped the ratty Navajo blanket around her, and we each took turns kissing her on her forehead. Annie wiggled around and barely opened her eyes, flashing us her sweet loving smile.

  “Guys. I wove you. Thanks for bringing me. Your baby is gonna be okay cuz she has you guys. You guys are gonna be good parents and gonna do real good,” she mumbled up to us, barely peeking through dark, thick lashes. What a kid!

  Tripp lifted me up into the Jeep, and buckled me like he had done with Annie. He went to walk away and I grabbed his wrist.

  “Why did you keep the pink crocodile, Tripp?” I asked.

  “I know.”

  “You know what?”

  “I know it’s a girl.”

  “How?”

  “The butterfly.”

  My fingers instantly released Tripp’s wrists and he bent down and placed a silent tender kiss on the top of my head. The butterfly visited him.

  “We are naming her Rose, and the nursery will be decorated in a baseball theme,” Tripp said as he fired up the Jeep making no eye contact.

  My mouth instantly dried, and my arms clutched the safety of the big pink crocodile. Grant was his butterfly and watching over us too. Tripp had his own butterfly, Grant. My Rose started to protest all the county fair food.

  “Tripp, I’m going to puke.”

  Letter #4

  Meatballio!

  How’s it going kid? I’m thinking you are going to be a mover and a shaker just like your poppa. I can finally feel you. The first time I felt you, I was doing Willow’s hair. I was applying the color and felt a flutter in my tummy. The feeling made me instantly freeze, and I thought for sure I was about to throw up. I grabbed my bump and started for the bathroom. Then another flutter came, but my tummy wasn’t rolling with waves of nausea. Your poppa walked in while I was in the middle of the salon clutching my bump and he freaked. I just smiled back because it had finally dawned on me that I had just felt you move for the first time, and ever since that moment you haven’t stopped.

  Your dad is dying to feel you move, but it is like a game of cat and mouse. I yell for him, but by the time he touches my tummy, your acrobatics are over. We moved into our new house today and have started the fight over decorating your room. I want to do a pink and black rocker chick theme and your clueless father wants to do a sports theme. I have a feeling that we are going to have to meet in the middle somewhere or trick him into going out of town and just decorating it the way I want. Thank God your Aunt Milly is basically the evil spawn of Martha Stewart, so no worries sister, you will have a beautiful bedroom to arrive home to.

  Love, Momma

  Chapter 21

  Ken & Barbie

  Tripp: 20 minute warning

  Lacey: shut-up

  Tripp: 19 minute warning…move your ass, Princess

  Lacey: suck it, captain asshat

  Tripp: I will stop & get you coffee

  Lacey: I love you

  Tripp: 15 min…now get dressed

  Lacey: shut-up…I’m growing your kid

  Lacey: move your ass, fucker!

  Tripp

  My masterpiece was finally finished. Since finding out about sweet Rose, I knew that I had to build my dream house for my two wild princesses. I really thought Lacey was going to kick my ass when she found out that I had the foundation and framing done before I told her. She accepted it with her whole heart, and it was cute to watch her squirm thinking I would take her away from her Milly.

  The past couple months, I have enjoyed family dinners and then put Lacey to bed, which was a piece of cake. The girl was completely wiped with the whole pregnancy thing. I had begged her to quit working, but she wouldn’t. Fucking imagine that, Lacey not listening. Then I would spend hours working on the house during the night. I hired sub-contractors that were also working around the clock on our house. I would pound nails and cut boards all the while talking to Grant, sharing all my concerns about becoming a father. A day didn’t pass that I didn’t think of what I did wrong in my father’s eyes. I didn’t have the best role model as a father, but had several amazing coaches to look up to. I just hoped that my heart would never shrivel up and hate my own child.

  All of our things had been moved into the castle, and we were ready for our baby girl to enter our world and take us by storm. Lacey was starting to get the cutest baby bump, and it took everything I had to keep my hands off of her all the time. I would always want Lacey no matter the circumstances, and her being pregnant was making it worse. She was so fucking hot and ever so moody. She would scratch your fucking eyeballs out on the drop of a dime and then turn around and bake a freakin’ apple pie.

  This morning was the last morning we would spend in the little cabin, and I made sure she remembered it. The patch of hair missing from the right side of my head being proof. We became one in that little cabin, when we were both broken and tortured, and we also healed there.

  Now it was my job to get Lacey’s lazy little ass out of bed to leave the cabin behind. Since becoming pregnant, she was a barracuda in the mornings, just downright fucking nasty. I texted her several warnings, but knew only coffee would get her cranky, little ass out of bed. I made my way into Milly’s shop to get Lacey her favorite cup of joe, and when I entered The Shop I knew I was screwed because Milly’s teeny bopper assistant was working with no sign of Milly or Willow. Fuck! I needed those girls because they knew exactly what Princess Pain in My Ass liked. I knew one thing about coffee, it tasted like shit. No, I take that back, it tasted like rotten dog shit. Well, here goes nothing, by damn if I would not go back empty handed to face the wrath of the barracuda.

  “Uh yeah. I need a Funky Monkey skinny caffeine free.” Please let this little twit know what I’m talking about. Ordering coffee could be downright ridiculous.

  “Hot?” She immediately asked, and I knew I was up shit creek without a freaking ass paddle.

  “No. Like a milkshake with ice,” I said as I leaned on the counter. I got this. Fuck yeah! Coffee ordering was about to become my bitch.

  “Blended then?”

  “Yes, blended,” I replied as my phone was going off in my pocket like two bunnies fucking. It was Lacey.

  “Drizzle or no drizzle,” she asked.

  Jesus Christ! Yes, drizzle. Lacey likes drizzle on her goddamn face all the time. Why not on her fucking milkshake funky chunky coffee? This is enough.

  Ripping my phone out of my pocket, I dialed the shithead and when she answered, I cut her off and gave it to her, “Lacey, are you fucking kidding me on this coffee ordering shit? Milly and Willow are not here and I have no idea if you want your coffee with a side of Mai Thai Ding Dongs or with some maracas, or if you want the shit shaken or stirred. Help me out and be fucking nice about it,” I roared into the phone, as I settled down on a bar stool in defeat.

  Lacey was about to rip my ass, and I would just take it like a pussy whipped husband, then order her shittin’ coffee and get on with my day. But this time I would put it in the note section of my phone to avoid this hassle in the future. I heard the faint sound of doors shutting and traffic roaring in the background, and when I was about to ask Lacey what the fuck she was doing, I heard the sound of a bell ringing and a door opening. It all came together as I turned around on the stool to face my pretty girl in the doorway. She was followed by Milly and Willow, who were carrying lots of bags and battered boxes.

  “Having a bad morning, big boy,” Lacey purred as she did her sexy-ass walk over to me.

  I leaned back on the bar and spread my legs to make room for her, “Yes, you see, I am married to this really mean woman who beats me when her coffee isn’t just right. I even have bruises and scars to show from the old battleax.”

  Lacey walked up to me and shut my legs then hopped up on me, straddling my mid-section, and whispered into my
ear, “You are such a pussy.”

  I grabbed both of Lacey’s ass cheeks and squeezed as hard as I could, which made her squeal in pain.

  “Order your damn coffee, so we can go to our new home.”

  Lacey gave me her little defiant ‘you can’t make me do anything’ look, as she tried kissing me to take a stand.

  Leaning closer to her ear, I whispered, “Order your fucking coffee now, so I can take you to our new home and fuck you on every surface and then give you a dou-blay orgasm in our new bed.”

  My naughty girl’s hip instantly started to rub up and down on me. Hell! It was their favorite dance to do. I grabbed her and held her still and gave her the eyebrow. Yes, the eyebrow of ‘you better fucking listen and do as you’re told’. Lacey never liked the eyebrow, and usually junk punched me when I gave it to her, but I knew I had her at ‘fuck you on every surface’, and I planned to do that. In fact, I had planned that for months now. I wanted to take my pretty girl on every surface I built with my bare hands. I dreamed about her tits bouncing, and her screams as I fucked her hard, while building every part of the house.

  Lacey snapped me out of my thoughts when she started to order, “Jenna, I want a 24 ounce Banana Split Mocha skinny and caffeine free blended, no drizzle.”

  Lacey then turned on me and said, “Now was that so hard, tough guy?”

  “You love drizzle, baby,” I whispered down into her hair, and then the junk punch shot came.

  My loud laughing only fueled Lacey’s fire. Milly sat down next to me on the stool and started in on us, “You two do know this is a place of business, not a place of dry humping?”

  I help up my hands in my defense, “Sorry Ma’am. This crazy lady just jumped up in my lap and started begging me for my drizzle. Being the gentlemen and all, I had to oblige.”