When They Do

by Sara Breaker

  She let out another strained laugh, still shaking her head. “I’m sorry, but hadn’t I just come up to your room, about to do the exact same thing as Alyssa? My god…what the hell have I turned into?” Then she dropped her gaze disparagingly. “I have no right to judge any of them,” she murmured, pausing as of an afterthought, before she added almost inaudibly, “Or you…”

  I narrowed my eyes at that, but before I could say anything, the elevator doors opened at the lobby.

  Claire pushed past me, her eyes wide. She was shaking her head, still looking distraught. “I have to get out of here.”

  “Claire, come back,” I called out, easily catching up to her just outside the hotel doors.

  She tried to wave me away. “Just leave me alone, Alex,” she snapped, trying to walk faster. “Why are you always around when this shit happens to me anyway?” she wanted to know, sounding frustrated.

  I pursed my lips. “Because you need me,” I called out.

  That finally made her stop short, if only to whirl around to shoot me a strange look.

  I blinked, heaving, my heart still pounding in my chest. “I mean…you need someone,” I amended. “Someone to talk to. A friend.” I swallowed hard, coming closer. “Because…you don’t need to be alone with this.”

  “A friend,” she echoed, almost in ridicule. “Are we friends?”

  I creased my forehead. “Yes,” I answered firmly. “Look,” I started after a pause, meeting her gaze evenly. “I know you said this wasn’t about me, but…maybe the reason I’m always around is because I’m the only one who actually knows what the hell you’re talking about. It’s something that I happen to be an authority on. I mean, you know as well as I do, I know about dumb booty-call girls, more than anyone. So you should believe me when I say,” I raised my eyebrows, “that you are definitely not the same as them. You shouldn’t even be comparing yourself to any of those girls.”

  I saw her swallow hard. She didn’t say anything, but at least I could tell she was listening to me. I gave her a gentle smile. “Look, different people deal with sad things in different ways,” I told her. “Sure, you’re upset about your ex-boyfriend getting married tomorrow, and the way you decided to deal with it may have been a little unorthodox, but it doesn’t mean you’re all screwed up. And it doesn’t make you a floozy,” I concluded.

  Claire took a deep breath, and I thought I was finally getting through to her, but then she spoke, barely above a whisper, “Oh god…he’s really getting married tomorrow.”

  That made me instantly frown, my chest constricting again, as if somehow it triggered something inside of me, pushing me past the point of sympathy. It was beyond belief. As in the midst of all of this distress and agony, she was still, and mainly and foremostly, thinking of Marco freaking Welling. I mean, for fuck’s sake—was Marco the one out here in the middle of the night trying to console her while she was crying? Has Marco been the one trying to comfort her all this time? Has Marco ever even bothered to ask her if she was okay throughout all this??

  “Jesus Christ, Claire!” I cursed aloud, annoyed. “When the hell are you going to get over that guy??” I blew out my breath. “Marco loves Nina,” I told her firmly. “It’s over. Don’t you think you’ve obsessed about him long enough?”

  Claire stared at me, taken aback. I guessed she wasn’t used to being told off, let alone be told off by me.

  “He’s getting married tomorrow. And there’s nothing you or I can do about it,” I said as-a-matter-of-factly. “But that doesn’t mean it’s the end of the world,” I told her after a pause. “There’s still happiness out there for you. Marco getting married doesn’t make that suddenly impossible.” I took a deep breath, somewhat tiredly. “And maybe if you unstick your head out of the ground for a split-second, you might even see that there are other decent guys out there—some even right under your nose.”

  To which, after another short pause, Claire prompted, “Who, Wayne?”

  I blinked, slightly winded. “Yeah. Sure. Wayne,” I nodded resignedly, looking away.

  Claire and I didn’t talk on the way back to the hotel and I didn’t walk her to her room. When I got back into my own room, Alyssa was gone. But she had left her scarf on the leather chair. That night had got to be the strangest night I’d ever had. And in the end, I slept alone.

  Marco and Nina’s Rehearsal Dinner

  “Hi Alex!”

  “Hi! Alex, over here!”

  “Hey Alex—”

  It wasn’t the first time I’d had a barrage of greetings from girls assault me the moment I entered a party, but Marco and Nina’s rehearsal dinner was the first time that I didn’t feel at all inclined to respond to any of them.

  My eyes lit up as I saw Tyler waving and I headed straight over, grabbing a flute of champagne from one of the passing waiters’ trays as I went.

  “Hey Alex,” Janice gave me a smile as I arrived. Claire was nowhere to be seen yet.

  I gave Janice a nod of acknowledgment. “Hey Janice, looking good,” I remarked on her appearance as the three of us headed towards a table.

  She tilted her head slightly to one side, looking at me strange. “Huh, that compliment didn’t make me feel as sleazy as normal,” she quipped, good-naturedly. “What’s going on with you, Alex?”

  “I keep telling you, Janice,” I told her with a wan smile. “I’m a perfectly decent guy. Honestly,” I started, feeling slightly defensive, “you guys have known me for years. If I really was such an asshole, why do you even bother hanging out with me?”

  “Yeah Jan,” Tyler spoke up for me, patting my shoulder as he and I sat down, “give the guy a break. Weddings must be like Alex’s kryptonite.”

  “Right,” Janice nodded wryly, turning to me. “’And the next thing you’re going to tell me is that you haven’t slept with any of the bridesmaids yet.” She shook her head to herself in skepticism before going off to mingle some more.

  I met Tyler’s gaze and he just shrugged. I supposed he couldn’t support or contradict Janice’s statements either. I was tempted to tell him the truth—that I actually hadn’t. Not counting Claire, I hadn’t slept with anyone else all week. But I didn’t say anything.

  I looked over towards Marco and Nina who were greeting guests at the door. They were both beaming, looking like the happiest couple on earth. I huffed, shaking my head to myself. “So, he’s really going through with this,” I remarked to Tyler, gesturing to Marco.

  “Oh yeah,” Tyler nodded. “What have I been telling you for the last few weeks?” he prompted. “Once you find that someone you love, all the doubt stops, and suddenly even the difficult stuff become the simplest things in the world.”

  I resisted the urge to laugh, not because I found what he said funny, but because I was starting to believe the statement applied to everyone except me. But I just managed to shrug, “Well, you know me,” I said dryly, “my whole entire life is just a meaningless quest from one shag to the next.” I was meaning to sound facetious and arrogant, except I didn’t manage to land it.

  “Is that right?” Tyler was watching me carefully. “How’s that going, by the way?” he asked.

  “How’s what going?” I glanced up.

  “That problem you’ve been having. You know the one you didn’t want to talk about at the bar last week?” he prompted mischievously.

  I stopped short, giving him a guarded look.

  Tyler grinned. “Look bro,” he thumped on my shoulder, “I just want to make sure you’re alright. And that like, no laws are being broken,” he added with a chuckle.

  I broke a smirk at that. “I’m fine, Ty,” I insisted smoothly. “It’s all good.”

  He leaned back in his chair, still looking at me. “Tell you what,” he proposed. “If you tell me right now, I absolutely guarantee…that I will not tell my wife,” he declared. “This is a one-time only opportunity. If I were you, I’d take advantage of it.”

  I met his gaze as I considered it. Maybe I could tell Tyler. He
was my friend and I did trust him. He might even have some helpful insights. I certainly was at the end of my rope. And having nobody else to talk to about it for so long was driving me nuts. After a long pause to think, I tilted my head in a slight nod “fine” and Tyler leaned forward encouragingly.

  “There’s…this…girl…”

  Tyler’s eyes widened slightly. It was highly likely that the absolute last thing he thought was that I was having girl problems.

  I read his mind. “I know, right?” I prompted, almost unable to believe it myself. I blew out my breath, before draining my drink.

  He pursed his lips, putting his hand up. “I don’t even need to know the rest,” he said before giving me an even look. “You need to talk to her. Tell her how you feel.”

  I shot him a look at how quickly he turned it around. “It’s complicated,” I pointed out.

  “Bro, it’s always complicated.”

  I shook my head. “No, no, it’s complicated,” I repeated emphatically. “She’s with this other guy…and she’s still hung up on this other other guy. And I know she’s just using me, but…I guess I’m just not used to being on this end. And I don’t want to scare her off. She—she just knows me too well. Besides,” I shrugged, “I…don’t even know what to say. I—”

  Tyler’s jaw kind of dropped as he stared at me. “You’re already in love with her.”

  I blinked at him, taken aback. “What? That’s—crazy, ridiculous. I mean…yeah, I like her, she’s really hot, but—”

  “Mm-mm,” he nodded vigorously. “Yep, you don’t even realize it. You are in love with this girl, man.”

  I shot him another look of disbelief. “You don’t even know what’s going on,” I protested. I refused to believe that Tyler was so enlightened that he had diagnosed my entire situation after a mere five seconds with barely any other information. “You don’t even know who she is.”

  That made him stop short, before he raised an eyebrow meaningfully at me, “Would you like me to guess who she is?”

  I stopped short myself. “No, please, dear god, don’t.”

  That made him laugh. “Hey look, for what it’s worth, you have excellent taste.”

  “Oh, somehow I don’t think that’s what’s in dispute at the moment,” I muttered.

  “What are you saying? You are Alex freaking Keaton. You just have to find that ‘deep down’ that certain people think you don’t have, and man up,” he said, whacking my chest a couple times, at the same that that someone called for attention by clinking wine glasses, to announce that dinner was about to be served.

  I stared at Tyler, even as he had begun to rubberneck to catch a glimpse of the food coming out.

  Tyler was wrong. He had to be wrong. I wasn’t in love. Not with Claire. Not with anyone. Surely, that couldn’t be the only conclusion. It was ridiculous. What was all that stuff about evolution again? I was a hunter. I mean, why on earth would I possibly ever want to give up my awesome bachelor life for just one girl?

  I felt like I was avoiding absolutely everybody at the wedding rehearsal. I had almost run into Alyssa and quickly had to turn around, for obvious reasons. Then I almost ran into Marco’s unbearably animated cousin Owen, whom during all of last night’s party kept calling me his “role model” and making comments about how often I must work out. I mean, I would have been flattered if he was at least gay. Trying to avoid Wayne next had made me back up into the curtained-off area where the venue staff made preparations. There were decorative paper chandeliers and extra chairs stacked along the side of the dark room. But through the sheer white curtains, you could still see everything from the brightly-lit dining area.

  That’s how I managed to immediately hide behind a tall shelf of stacked linen before Janice and Claire could see me, since I saw them coming from the other side as they rushed straight for where I was. I mean, I would have let them see me, except I had overheard clearly what Janice was chasing Claire about.

  “What do you mean ‘with Alex’?” Janice had wanted to know, as though she had heard wrong.

  Claire stopped in the middle of the room before turning to look at Janice, and somehow, I could already guess what was up. And if I had any leftover doubts, they were cleared the instant that Janice’s eyes popped wide.

  “You’re kidding me!” she breathed in disbelief.

  Claire shook her head slowly, her gaze not leaving Janice’s face.

  “No!” Janice kept exclaiming in a loud hushed voice. “No! You and Alex? No!”

  That made me grin, as the severity of Janice’s reaction was definitely as we’d expected.

  Claire shushed her. “Would you be quiet!” she said. “I’m already regretting having told you,” she rolled her eyes.

  “Noo…” Janice’s face was pale and shocked, that I almost laughed out loud, but I struggled to keep quiet. “Oh my god,” she breathed, a scandal on her face, “Jesus Christ, Claire. How did this happen?”

  Claire pursed her lips. “When Marco proposed—”

  “Oh my god!” Janice’s face cleared up with a realization. “New Year’s Eve! Why didn’t I see this sooner? Girl, that was totally months ago.” Her jaw dropped. “Are you telling me that you and Alex—that you—now—for months??” She couldn’t even phrase the entire question.

  “Of course not,” Claire told her defensively. “It was just that one time,” she paused, then grimaced, caving as she went on, “and then a couple times again a few weeks ago.” She paused again, then wrinkled her nose further, “And last week…and…two nights ago.”

  I bit my lip. I really should have walked away. But I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to get an insight on what Claire thought, especially since I was struggling with everything myself.

  But Janice’s jaw was still practically on the floor. “Holy shit, Claire! Oh my god, you totally have to tell me everything. Is he…I mean, is he—really as good as they say?” she wanted to know, still wide-eyed.

  I straightened up, eager to hear the response.

  Claire just bit her lip and gave Janice this look. Janice almost yelled out her laughter. “Oh my god! You are going to hell. You are so going to hell! Holy crap!”

  I felt as though my grin could not get any wider on my face.

  “Shh,” Claire shushed her again. “You absolutely cannot tell anyone. Not even Tyler, do you understand me?” she said firmly.

  Janice nodded violently, but then she started giggling. “Oh my god, I can’t believe he finally went for it—I mean, you. Alex has absolutely no morals whatsoever,” she shook her head.

  I creased my forehead, a bit slighted by her remark, but Claire spoke up to my defense. “Alex isn’t that bad. He’s just…dealing with his own problems his own way. And if you think about it, maybe the reason he exclusively goes after dumb booty-call girls is because it’s easy and…trying to chase after something that might actually be real scares him to death.”

  In spite of myself, my pulse started to race at Claire’s, again, profound analysis. But before I could internalize on it, she went on.

  “Anyway,” Claire waved her hand quickly, “all I wanted to say was that last night, I realized I’d been sort of doing the same thing.” She sighed, “I’ve been holding on to Marco for so long, and especially with this wedding,” she shook her head, “I’ve only been doing what’s easy, and holding myself back from finding something real. That’s why…I’ve decided that it’s finally time to move on. For real this time,” she concluded with a nod.

  “So, so…what? What does this all mean?” Janice prompted. “And what are you going to tell Wayne?”

  “Tell Wayne?” Claire echoed.

  “Yes,” Janice nodded authoritatively. “If you don’t really like him, you shouldn’t string him along. You can’t just keep using him—or Alex—,” then she stopped to reconsider, shaking her head again briskly. “Check that, Alex probably doesn’t care anyway.”

  That made Claire chuckle. “You’re probably right about that,” she agre
ed, and I felt another frown come on, which deepened further when Claire added, “Wayne’s actually pretty great. I like him a lot.”

  Somehow that stung. I closed my eyes, clenching my jaw, as I leaned against the wall, trying not to breathe louder.

  “Then you have to end it with Alex,” Janice told her firmly. “Either way, you can’t keep messing around. I guarantee you, someone is going to get hurt, and I’m just afraid it’ll be you.”

  Claire groaned frustrated, squeezing her eyes shut. “This is all too confusing right now! Can’t I just deal with this later?” she made a face, as the two of them began to head back towards the party.

  “Claire,” Janice warned. “The longer you put it off, the harder it’ll be. Do it tomorrow,” she suggested, “after the wedding.”

  “Alright, fine,” Claire sighed in defeat, and the rest of her statement trailed off as they walked out of my hearing range, “I’ll do it tomorrow…”

  Claire was going to end it tomorrow. It was all I could think of for the rest of the night, and I didn’t know why but my chest felt heavy. She was going to choose the stable, mature, responsible, I-didn’t-even-know-what-he-did-for-a-living-let’s-say-architect Wayne, over me, Alex freaking Keaton. And there was absolutely nothing I could do about it.

  Ordinarily, that stuff shouldn’t be a big deal, least of all, for me. But the insight that I’d so far been afraid to find something real, as well as Tyler’s words, kept weighing on my mind. Not to mention all that sudden inside information, and the knowledge that Claire thought I didn’t care, was bugging me to hell. Clearly, I had to get to the bottom of this.

  While everyone was starting to leave, I noticed Claire across the room, mingling with a few other guests, and neither Wayne nor Janice was anywhere close by. I set my chin determinedly, my eyes not leaving her for a moment, as I walked straight up to her, taking her hand. “Can I borrow you for one second?” I asked, quickly excusing us from the group.