“I think it’s in the attic. Do you want me to show you?”
“Yes, please.” This time Tracy had the foresight to get a lantern from the worktable in the kitchen and take it with her. The two girls climbed to the upstairs, and Tracy peeked into the different bedrooms. Each was messier than the last. She took a deep breath. She could only do one room at a time, and the downstairs had to come first.
Mattie showed her the box once they reached the attic, and Tracy smiled. “That’s exactly what I was looking for!”
They took it down the stairs and into the room Tracy would share with Andy. “Hmm…I didn’t bring any shears or anything. Do you have any?” Tracy had always just used the sewing supplies at the orphanage. It had never occurred to her that she would need her own.
Once Mattie brought her the scissors, Tracy thought of something else she needed. By the time they’d gathered all of the supplies together, it was time for the younger ones to go to bed. Tracy went up the stairs with Mattie and sat on the edge of her bed, talking to her softly about what they would do together. “Tomorrow we’ll get the downstairs cleaned and we’ll wash all the sheets.” At the orphanage they’d washed the sheets weekly, and Tracy didn’t even want to think about how long it must have been since the Harveys had washed their linens. She’d strip all the beds and wash everything the next day.
Mattie smiled. “That sounds nice. I remember Ma doing all those things every week.”
Tracy was relieved to hear that the family was used to cleanliness when their mother was still alive. She would have been horrified to hear they’d lived this way all their lives. The orphanage hadn’t ever had luxuries, but it had always been clean.
Mattie smiled at Tracy, her eyes drooping. “You’ll still be here tomorrow, right? You won’t go away?”
“I won’t go anywhere.” Tracy kissed the little girl on her forehead and tiptoed from the room, closing the door behind her.
Chapter Three
By the time Tracy joined the others downstairs again, Andy had sent Arthur and Francis to their beds. She sat down at the table beside him, and brought up the one subject she felt was important they talk about before they slept that night. “Francis admitted to me this afternoon that you had no idea I was on my way until last night.”
Andy leaned back in his chair and looked at her. “Does that matter to you?”
“Of course it matters to me! I would never have been part of your deception if I’d known it was happening.” She shook her head. “I can go back to Massachusetts if that’s what you want. We don’t have to stay married.”
He sighed heavily. “We really don’t have a choice at this point. Mattie would be very upset to lose you.” As attracted to her as he was, he wasn’t sure if he wanted her to stay or go. He didn’t want to give her power over him, but he also didn’t want to let her go.
“If it weren’t for Mattie, would you send me back?” Tracy didn’t know where she got the confidence to ask the question, but she had to know. If he only wanted her because she was good for his sister, could she stay?
“I honestly don’t know. I told myself all the way into town I was going to send you back no matter what, but I don’t know if I could have done that with or without Mattie. I’ve never backed away from an obligation, and once Francis sent you that letter, you became my obligation.”
Tracy swallowed hard. The man she was sure was going to take one look at her and lose his heart thought of her as an obligation. “Elizabeth, the woman who owns the mail order bride agency in Beckham, said that she’d send me a train ticket to come back any time. I’ll write to her tomorrow.”
Andy felt as if his heart dropped to his stomach. “You want to leave?”
“I don’t want to stay where I’m not wanted.” She couldn’t do it again. They’d get an annulment, and Elizabeth would find her a man who actually wanted her in his life.
“How about this? Give it a little time. Say a month? And if at the end of a month, we don’t think we’re compatible, you go back home.”
She had no home, but she didn’t say that aloud. “I won’t sleep with you in the meantime.”
Andy hadn’t thought about that. “I don’t want my siblings to think there’s something wrong between us. Share a bed with me, but I promise not to touch you.”
She raised an eyebrow at him. “You won’t? Because your bed isn’t all that big.”
“I won’t touch you sexually. I’ll sleep beside you at night. I might brush up against you, but nothing more.”
Tracy shrugged. “Fine. Whatever you want.” She stood up and walked toward the bedroom. “Give me five minutes to change for bed.” She didn’t wait for an answer, but headed into the bedroom, shutting the door behind her. She leaned back against the door for a moment, letting the tears fall.
What had she expected? That he would fall at her feet and beg her to stay? Tell her that after seeing her and tasting her marvelous cooking he’d fallen in love with her and couldn’t let her go?
She brushed away the tears with the backs of her hands before changing into her nightgown. Whatever he expected, she was going to do the right thing by his brothers and sister. She wouldn’t make them suffer for how he felt.
She was wearing her sleeveless, long, white nightgown and under the sheet with her eyes closed when he came into the room. She had her back to the center of the bed and didn’t once open her eyes until he’d turned down the lantern and climbed into the bed beside her.
“Tracy?”
“Yes?”
“I’m sorry. I know you were led to believe something that wasn’t true as well. We’ll both make the most of it.” His voice was soft and sympathetic, and it just made the tears fall more rapidly.
“Good night, Andy.” She’d never call him Andrew again. Andrew was the man she’d been fantasizing about for the past month. The man who was going to sweep her off her feet and treat her like a princess. Andy was the reality. The man who didn’t want her and never had.
*****
Tracy woke before the sun was up the following morning, and quickly dressed in the dark. She knew it was almost time to get up because of how full her bladder felt, and rushed to get ready for her day before her husband stirred. She may not be what he wanted in a wife, but she knew she was what his little sister needed. She’d concentrate on that, and not on the fact that she was once again, unwanted and unloved.
She went out to the henhouse and gathered more eggs, putting them into the basket. By the time she returned to the house, Andy was up and dressed. He nodded to her, obviously as uncomfortable around her as she now was around him. “I’ll need milk for breakfast.”
He nodded. “I’m heading out to milk the cow now.”
“Thank you.” She turned away from him and started the fire in the stove so it would be hot enough for her to cook breakfast. She heard the door close behind him as she cracked the first of the eggs into a bowl. She had a lot of work to do that morning if she was going to be ready to go into town at a reasonable hour.
All of the eggs were cracked and had been beaten by the time he came back in with a tin pail full of milk. She poured just a bit into the eggs and then stirred a bit more, before pouring them into the pan that she’d already melted a tiny amount of butter into. There was very little butter left in the house, and she added that she needed to make more to her mental list of things to be done. If she was only going to be there a month, she was going to make it the most productive month of her life. Mattie was going to know how to make basic meals before she left.
The others appeared one by one as they smelled their breakfast cooking. Mattie’s smile was huge as she rushed to Tracy’s side, hugging her new sister tightly. “You didn’t leave!”
Tracy laughed kissing the top of the girl’s head. “I told you I’d be here when you woke up.” She nodded to the stack of plates on the work table. “Would you set the table for me? Pour everyone a glass of milk as well. I don’t see any coffee around.”
Sh
e looked at Francis, ignoring Andy entirely, even though he sat at the table watching everything that went on around him. “Do you drink coffee?”
Francis nodded. “Andy and I both drink coffee, but we’re both lousy at making it, so we gave it up after Ma died.”
“We’ll get some while we’re in town today, then.” She scooped the cooked eggs into a bowl and carried the bowl to the table, sitting down at the foot of the table, directly across from Andy. She knew it was where she needed to sit, but it would be hard to avoid his gaze through every meal. She’d do it, though. She had to. She couldn’t look at him and not think about how stupid and utterly unlovable she was.
Andy watched his new wife with a sad look in his eye. He almost wished he’d just lied to her the night before instead of being so blunt about his lack of feelings. Why couldn’t he have just gone along with it and treated her like he would treat a new wife? He’d missed out on a wedding night as a result of his idiocy, and it looked like he was going to lose her entirely. He had no one to blame but himself.
He said the prayer for them before serving himself a heaping spoonful of the eggs. He knew that she must have used every egg she’d found to be able to have that many for them all. They hadn’t had eggs since Ma had died, and he watched as his brothers devoured them. Even Mattie took a huge spoonful and all but fell on them.
Tracy took a bite of the eggs and felt them stick in her throat. All she wanted to do was cry, but that would get her nowhere. “What time will you be taking me to town today?” she asked Francis.
Andy shook his head. “I changed my mind. I’ll take you.”
Tracy met his eyes for the first time that morning. “I’d really rather Francis took me, but thank you for offering.”
Andy blinked a couple of times, wondering if he’d heard her correctly. Was this the same woman who had worn her heart on her sleeve the previous evening? “Francis is going to help mend fences. I think I need to be the one to drive you and introduce you around town.”
Tracy said nothing in response. She’d make certain Mattie sat between them the whole way there and back. The little girl would serve as the perfect buffer.
After the dishes were washed and put away, Tracy sat down at the table and made a quick list of the things she felt they needed. She had so much she wanted to get done. She needed to teach Mattie the basics of cooking, so she wrote down all the basic ingredients. They’d start there.
Once her list was done, she stood up and looked for Mattie. She found the girl upstairs making her bed. “Don’t worry about that. We’re going to wash the sheets and all the bedding when we get home from town.” They needed to make the trip quickly so she could do the laundry and get the bread baked that day.
Mattie turned from her bed and smiled at Tracy. “I’m ready then.” Her hair looked just as it had the day before. It was all snarled and dirty. Tracy couldn’t do anything about how dirty it was then, but she’d wash it that night. She took the brush off Mattie’s dresser and sat on the little girl’s bed, inviting Mattie to sit on the floor at her feet.
Tracy made quick work of the tangles in Mattie’s hair. Within ten minutes, it was brushed out and braided into two long braids. “There. Now you’re ready.”
Mattie threw her arms around Tracy. “Thank you!”
Tracy smiled. It certainly didn’t take much to make Mattie happy. She wished her oldest brother was just as easy to please.
They went down the stairs together. As soon as they reached the bottom, Tracy saw that Andy was there waiting for her. “Are you ready to go?” he asked. His eyes flicked over Mattie’s hair and met Tracy’s. “Thank you,” he mouthed.
“Yes, we’re ready.” She picked up her list from the table and followed him outside to where he already had the team ready to go. Tracy helped Mattie up to the center of the seat on the wagon before climbing in beside her. She looked straight ahead, not even willing to look at Andy.
Mattie kept up a constant stream of chatter as they drove, talking about how much she loved going to town, and how Sunday was her favorite day because she got to see her church friends, and even though they had to sit still, they were still fun. Tracy said little, except when asked a direct question by Mattie.
Once they reached town, Tracy hurried down from the wagon and helped her new sister. She took Mattie’s hand and went into the mercantile, looking around at all the wonderful things there. She had no idea how much she was allowed to spend, but since Andy hadn’t felt as if she needed that information, she’d just spend what she thought she should and let him pay for it.
Mattie led her straight to the proprietor of the store. “This is my new sister, Tracy!” Mattie announced, her face alight with happiness.
The middle aged man smiled at Tracy. “It’s nice to meet you Mrs. Harvey. You just let me know if you have trouble finding anything.”
Tracy smiled and nodded. “I will. Thank you.” She turned from him and looked over the groceries he had to offer. She selected a large barrel of flour, and another of sugar. Very quickly, she had a small mountain of food ready to purchase.
Andy came in from outside where he’d been standing with the horses and looked at the pile. “Is that all?” he asked.
Tracy shook her head. “I need to get some yard goods to make Mattie some new dresses. Hers are too short.” She looked over the fabrics in the corner of the store, picking out two different bolts of cloth and instructing the owner to cut some for her. When she was given the total, she blanched. She’d never heard of spending that much money all at one time, but Andy put his fingers into his shirt pocket and took out some money, paying the man quickly.
She smiled at the owner as she left the store. “Thank you for your help.”
“You’re welcome, Mrs. Harvey. You come back soon.”
Tracy tried not to giggle as she walked toward the wagon. Of course he wanted her to come back. There probably weren’t a lot of people who bought that huge quantity of groceries all at once. They’d needed them, though, and she wouldn’t apologize for doing the right thing by her family, even if they would only be her family for a short time.
There were five or six men crowded around the wagon when she got out to it. She didn’t say anything to them as she helped Mattie into her seat. “May I help you up, ma’am?”
Tracy looked at the young man who’d offered. He wore a cowboy hat and an old beat up pair of pants. He was obviously someone’s ranch hand. “That would be nice, thank you.”
“My name is John. John Billings. I noticed your husband didn’t help you down from the wagon when you got to town.” When she said nothing he added, “If you were my wife, I’d help you up and down every time. I’d treat you like a queen. It don’t matter to me none that you’ve been married, either. I can kill him for you, and then I’ll marry you.”
Tracy stifled a laugh. “No, but I do thank you for your kind offer.” She took his proffered hand and climbed into the wagon sitting beside Mattie. “I’d rather not be a widow before I turn nineteen.”
John removed his hat and scratched his head. “Just remember, there are a lot of men around here looking for wives. If you don’t want to stay married to him, all you gotta do is close your eyes and point. We’d all treat you real good.”
“Thank you, John. I’ll keep that in mind if I decide that Andy doesn’t treat me well enough.”
Andy came up just then and raised an eyebrow at John. “You trying to steal my wife, John?”
“You didn’t help her down from the wagon. You must not love her. I’ll treat her right.” John didn’t back down from his stance.
Andy shook his head and climbed into the wagon. “I treat her just fine.” He waited until they were out of town before turning to Tracy. “Why did you encourage him?” Was she trying to make him jealous by letting other men touch her?
Tracy’s jaw dropped. “Encourage him? All I did was accept a hand up into the wagon that you obviously weren’t going to offer.”
“Why do you say th
at?”
“Because I’ve gotten into the wagon three times in your presence and down twice. You’ve never offered to help me once.” She stared off in front of them. “He said if you don’t treat me well enough to just let him know. There are plenty of men around here who are interested in marrying a good woman.”
Andy couldn’t believe she would say that. Was she trying to make him angry?
Mattie put her hand on Tracy’s arm. “But you’re ours now, Tracy. You can’t marry someone else.”
Tracy sighed, putting her arm around the little girl and hugging her close. “Yes, I’m yours now.” For how long, she didn’t know, but she’d stay for the month agreed upon at least. She was glad to know that she wouldn’t have a hard time finding another man in town to marry. It wouldn’t have been easy to ask Elizabeth to send her that train ticket.
Once they were home, Andy unloaded the wagon and carried everything inside. The only words spoken were him asking where she wanted certain items and her curt responses. Finally, he headed for the door. “We usually eat lunch around noon.” He closed the door behind him after saying those last words.
Tracy looked at the clock on the mantle over the fireplace. It was eleven, so she had an hour. Thank heavens they’d left for town at seven that morning. If she hurried she could have something ready for them.
She and Mattie hurried as they made simple sandwiches for lunch and stripped all the beds, carrying the laundry out to wash and dry it. It wasn’t even lunchtime and she felt as if she’d already put in a full day of work. It was a good thing she’d learned how to work hard at the orphanage. She wasn’t sure how some of the girls she’d gone to school with would have handled the situation she was in. They simply didn’t know how to work.
After lunch, she and Mattie baked several loaves of bread, keeping the door and all the windows wide open. She’d heard stories of just how hot Texas was, and she hadn’t really believed them until she’d tried to bake on a summer day. She was so hot, she felt as if she was going to melt into a puddle right there in her kitchen.
Mail Order Meddler Page 4
