Adventures of the Mad Monk Ji Gong

by Guo Xiaoting

  On the evening of the day that Li Seming brought Gao Guoqin home, Leng was there sitting in his room, vexed and melancholy, when he heard the voice of Li Seming’s wife inviting someone to come in. Unwatchful Leng thought, “Li Seming does not ordinarily invite friends home. Perhaps there is some business afoot.” He peeked out, saw Gao Guoqin with Li Seming, and heard Li Seming say Gao Guoqin’s name. Leng went to the inner gate and stood listening. He heard Li Seming say that the two bolts of silk they had picked up came from the Ever-Flourishing Silk Shop, and that, if no one claimed them, “we two could make two gowns from them.” Leng, as he was listening, recalled that a short time before, there had been an armed robbery at the Ever-Following Heaven’s Guidance Silk Shop and that the case had not yet been solved.

  “Tomorrow,” Leng decided, “I will go to the yamen and I will make this crime stick to Li Seming like plaster is stuck to a sore. I will simply say that he is a receiver of stolen goods. He really deserves to be hated, getting so rich. I went to him to borrow a few strings of cash and he would not lend them to me. I will let him know how dangerous I am, and if I want to borrow money again, he will not dare to refuse to lend it to me.”

  In this frame of mind, early the next morning Leng went to the district offices and asked who the headman was. Someone said that it was Qin Lingshou and that it was his watch. Leng went in to see him and asked, “Headman Qin, about the case of the armed robbery at the silk shop—do you have anything on the investigation?”

  Headman Qin replied, “We haven’t.”

  Leng said, “Li Seming, the landlord in our courtyard, has received a quantity of stolen goods. Yesterday the head of a band of robbers, Gao Guoqin, stayed at Li Seming’s house. The two men were negotiating all through the night. I clearly heard Li Seming say, ‘Bring it here and I will send you word.’”

  When Headman Qin heard this, he said, “Very good. I will take you to see our magistrate,” and sent someone with a message to the magistrate. The magistrate immediately went into the courtroom and sent for Leng to come and talk with him.

  Leng went in and knelt saying, “Your Worship, this insignificant person lives in the house of Li Seming. I often see him greeting and talking to evil-looking people as they go in and out of his house. Last evening Gao Guoqin, the head of a band of robbers, was in the house talking about the armed robbery at the Ever-flourishing Silk Shop and the stabbing of the proprietor. I have nothing against my landlord, but I feared that, if I did not report this matter to Your Worship, I would be guilty of letting the robbers escape.”

  The magistrate then ordered, first, that Leng should be taken out of the courtroom. The magistrate further ordered that Qin Lingshou and Dong Shichang should immediately go to bring back Gao Guoqin and Li Seming in irons. After these two were in court and the magistrate called for the eyewitness, the constables were then to bring Leng forward.

  CHAPTER 21

  The virtuous magistrate investigates a strange case; Ji Gong follows the robbers to Yin Family Ford

  WHEN Leng Er was brought forward to give his testimony, the magistrate asked, “Leng Er, you have said that Gao Guoqin committed the armed robbery. Now we have Gao Guoqin before us. Do you recognize him?”

  Leng replied, “I recognize him. In answer to Your Worship, he was with Li Seming, talking while this small person listened.”

  Gao Guoqin interrupted saying, “Your Worship, I say to you as to my father, I, the graduate, do not recognize him.”

  Li Seming went forward half a pace on his knees, saying, “Your Worship, this Leng came to live in my house. He has never paid me any rent, but he was always borrowing money from me. Because he had failed to pay me back several times, when he wanted to borrow still more, I would not lend him anything. Then he began to hate me, and now he is simply trying to injure a good person. I beg your worship over and over to be compassionate.”

  The magistrate said, “Good. I will have you flogged, flogged until who is who becomes clear. When I punish someone, there is no doubt. When my people seize someone for questioning, they never fail to get a confession. Have Gao Guoqin and Li Seming both punished, and then we will interrogate them again.”

  The yamen functionaries to the left and right acknowledged the order with one voice. Just as they were about to apply the torture, suddenly a violent gust of wind, truly frightening in its severity, tore through the courtroom. Two people standing face to face could not even see each other. In a short time the wind ceased. When His Worship looked at the top of his desk, there was a sheet of paper bearing two words, Grievous wrong!

  His Worship did not know who could have written them, but it was his conjecture that there had to be a good reason for the message. He therefore ordered that for the present the two, Gao Guoqin and Li Se ming, should simply be detained in custody and not tortured. He also ordered that Leng Er should be detained as well. With that, the magistrate left the court.

  Now, the great wind had been no less than the arrival of Ji Gong. He had simply pointed and raised this strange wind that had temporarily blinded everyone in the courtroom while he wrote the two words, Grievous wrong! and left them on the magistrate’s desk. Ji Gong then left the yamen. Taking with him his two companions, Feng Xun and Su Lu, Ji Gong went out through the west gate of the town. He said nothing, however, about stopping for the night, and went on toward the west for perhaps two li. He then halted and said, “Now we have gone two li. Wait! Where did this silver come from?”

  Ji Gong was pointing at a bag, and the two men, Su Lu and Feng Xun, picked it up at once. Su Lu thrust his hand into the bag and immediately clutched a handful of silver. When the two asked where it had come from, Ji Gong answered, “This must be the silver for which Gao Guoqin exchanged the notes before his meeting with the thief, when the silver was stolen. This is what was left over after Gao Guoqin purchased the meat and wine. We will now select a convenient place to stay.”

  When the three had finished speaking, they went west until they came to a market town at a river crossing called called the Yin Family Ford. From there they went south for a short distance until they saw on the east side of the road a grayish-white wall on which was written “The Old Meng Family Inn—Fodder for Your Horse and Safety for Your Merchandise.”

  Ji Gong stood in front of the inn gate and called out, “Open the gate!”

  Inside, someone asked, “What for?”

  Ji Gong replied, “To stay at the inn. Quickly! Open the gate!”

  Inside, the voice said, “No rooms. All full.”

  Ji Gong insisted, “We want a single room. Anything will do.”

  Inside, the voice said, “We do not have one.”

  Ji Gong countered, “We have much silver. We cannot go on. What shall we do?” Inside, these words were understood.

  Now this inn was indeed the old Meng family inn, and the manager of the inn was Meng Sixiong, known as Fearless Fourth. His partner was called Tiger Li. There were two porters, one named Liu, the other Li. They had long been accustomed to killing people. If there was a solitary trader with much baggage or with a great deal of clothing, they would immediately give him the drugged wine containing a powder known as the “Mongolian Sweat,” which would render him helpless and ready to be killed. The raised building at the north side of the inn courtyard was completely undermined with tunnels. This inn never did business in the ordinary way, since the proprietor was interested only in murder and robbery.

  When the porter heard the people outside the gate mention silver, he quickly went to the gate, looked out, and saw three men carrying what looked like a good deal of silver. Then he went at once to the manager’s office and said, “Proprietor, outside there are two men who have come with a monk. They are carrying much silver with them and they want to pass the night at the inn.”

  Meng Sixiong said, “Why have you not invited them inside?”

  The porter replied, “I had already told them that there was no room.”

  Meng Sixiong said, “Let me teach you a few s
entences. You are just to say, ‘Our manager said that he fears that, carrying such a great weight of silver and being quite tired, you might meet some robbers who would lighten your load and come down heavily upon your very lives. Our manager likes to do good deeds most of all. He has found you three a room and invites you to stay.’”

  The porter understood, turned about, and went to open the gate. There he saw the three men still standing in the gateway. The porter said, “You three gentlemen have not left.”

  Ji Gong said, “Your manager listened to you. He has found us a room and wants us to stay there. He is afraid that we might lose the silver if we go on. Is that not so?”

  The porter replied, “Quite right.”

  “Good,” said Ji Gong, “Lead the way.”

  The porter went ahead. Ji Gong and the others took a great step over the high threshold of the inn and saw before their faces a masonry screen. To the east was the manager’s office, to the west the kitchen. The screen shut off the view of the courtyard from the gate. On the east side of the courtyard there was a building housing a sitting room; there was also a similar building on the west side of the courtyard. Straight to the north was the best building—it was on a raised platform.

  The monk stopped and stood still in the middle of the courtyard, saying, “What is this odor in your courtyard?”

  The porter asked, “What odor?”

  The monk replied, “It has a slight smell of robbers.”

  The porter said, “Do not make us laugh, monk. You will be staying in the north building.”

  The monk said, “Good. The upper building is cool and open on all sides.”

  The porter said, “It is only that way because the lattice windows have not been repapered recently—but go inside.”

  The monk entered the north building and went on into the west chamber with Su Lu and Feng Xun. As they looked about, they saw that against the north wall was a brick platform bed. Beneath the window was a square “eight immortals” table with two chairs. Because Feng Xun and Su Lu were tired, they sat down in the chairs to rest. The porter first brought water for them to wash their hands and faces. Afterward he brought tea and poured it, asking, “What would you three like to eat?”

  The monk replied, “You can cook up whatever you like—a proper choice of four dishes with two pots of wine besides.”

  Su Lu and Feng Xun protested, “But we two will not drink because we want to go to sleep.”

  Ji Gong said, “You may not drink, but I will.”

  The porter went out of the door and called, “Prepare four dishes and two pots of dry white liquor, the Forgetful Sea brand.”

  “Porter, come back here!” said the monk.

  “What do you want?” the porter asked.

  The monk said, “You said I wanted two pots of dry white liquor, the Forgetful Sea brand.”

  When the porter heard, he was quite surprised and thought to himself, “This priest is terrible. He must be in the know. Otherwise, how would he be able to speak the black language of the rivers and marshes?” The porter then asked, “Monk, what do you mean by Forgetful Sea brand?”

  “Are you going to answer properly or not?” Ji Gong asked. “If not, I will slap your face!”

  The porter asked, “How am I not answering properly?”

  The monk replied, “Just now you said ‘Forgetful Sea brand.’ And you still ask me! I ask you again. What is meant by Forgetful Sea brand?”

  The porter thought it over. “He is right. After all, was that not what I said? Perhaps that is why the monk asked me.” Then the porter said aloud, “Just now I said to have the Forgetful Sea brand prepared because I wanted to give you the better wine.”

  The monk said, “I myself said I wanted the better wine. Why do you not go ahead and get it?”

  The porter went outside and brought the wine. The monk then took the cover off the wine pots and peered into the wine, first with one eye and then with the other. The porter asked, “What are you looking at, monk?”

  The monk answered, “I am looking to see how much there is. What is your honorable surname, Porter Liu?”

  The porter replied, “You know my name is Liu. Why do you ask?”

  The monk said, “I can see you probably are a very friendly sort of person. We seemed to know each other at first sight. Come on, we will drink a cup of wine together.”

  The porter said, “I cannot do that. I do not drink even a little wine. Even the smell of wine makes me drunk and then I do not know what is going on.”

  The monk urged, “You can drink a little, just one cup.”

  The porter said, “No, I cannot. If our proprietor knew that I drank with a guest, he would send me away immediately.”

  The monk said, “You will not drink my wine and now you make me suspicious. It seems that something has been put into the wine. If you will not drink, I will not drink either.”

  The porter said, “Drink your wine, monk. That is not for me. If our proprietor knew, there would be trouble. It is not the custom in our business.”

  The monk countered, “It will not matter if you drink a mouthful of wine—such a little thing.”

  The porter picked up one of the wine pots, saying, “I will take this pot of wine and heat it again. It is probably cold by now.”

  The porter took the wine pot to the proprietor and said, “Proprietor, this monk is very strange. I took the wine to him and he wanted me to drink. I would not drink and then he would not drink. First I will change this pot for one without the drug, and if he asks me to drink, I will drink from that.”

  The proprietor gave him a pot of good wine and the porter took it to the upper room, where he said, “Monk, even though this small inn does not have such a custom, if you still ask me to drink, then I will drink.”

  The monk said, “You have heated the wine.”

  The porter said, “I heated it for you, monk.”

  The monk, pretending to appreciate the porter’s trouble, took the good wine and quickly drank all of it. Then he handed the pot of drugged wine to the porter, saying, “You drink this one.”

  The porter quickly went outside.

  The monk said, “If you will not drink, I will not drink either. For one to drink alone is too boring.” The monk ate several dishes of food and had the table cleared. Then he shut the doors and went to sleep.

  The porter went to the proprietor’s room and reported, “Proprietor, among those three, it is the monk who gives the orders. Later, when we make our move, be careful of him.”

  Tiger Li, Meng’s partner, told him, “Never mind. Later call Porter Li to come with a big knife. You yourself, rest now. I will not need you.” Porter Liu bowed his head to show that he understood.

  When the night was past the third watch, Porter Li, taking his big knife with him, went to the north building. He pushed a small stick between the door and the frame to trip the latch. This door opened into the center hall. He entered, and lifting a trapdoor, went down into an underground passage. When he reached the trapdoor under the monk’s room, however, he could not open it. “Strange!” the porter thought.

  He returned and came up through the first trapdoor. Then he made a small hole in the paper covering the wooden lattice separating the west chamber from the hall. He could see that the three men seemed to be sleeping soundly and he heard them snoring. He tried to open the door by which he had originally entered the hall, but could not. Again he tried the door, but it resisted all his efforts.

  In another room to the west that was empty, there was also a trapdoor that led into a passage connected to the one where he had just been. He planned to get into the sleepers’ room through that part of the tunnel. He moved a table in the second west room, lifted the trapdoor, and went down again into the underground passages; but as he went forward, he suddenly found that he could go no further—nor could he go back. It was as if something had stopped and held him where he was.

  The proprietor, Fearless Fourth, and Tiger Li waited in the office for
a long time. Not knowing whether Porter Li’s plan had succeeded, they told Porter Liu to go and look around. Porter Liu took a knife and, when he reached the north building, saw that the door was closed. He could not tell where Porter Li had gone. Porter Liu then hurried to the east of the north building, where there was a small building with a single room that also had an underground passage that linked with the west rooms. When he reached the east room, he moved a table and rolled up the silk hanging behind it, thinking to go through the underground passage. When he entered it, however, he found that for some reason he, too, could not go forward, nor could he leave the passage.

  Again Tiger Li and Fearless Fourth Meng waited and waited. Seeing that neither Porter Li nor Porter Liu had returned, the two became impatient. They each took a knife and went to the north building. There, they noticed the closed door. They still did not know where the two porters had gone. Tiger Li forced the door open with a knife and the two entered the center hall, where they stopped and listened carefully.

  In the room to the west, the noise of snoring was like thunder. Tiger Li lifted the bamboo blind in the west room doorway with the point of his knife. He went into the room and looked around. He saw the monk lying with his head pointing south and his neck stretched out. Tiger Li pulled up the curtain in front of the platform bed and saw the other two men asleep and unaware of what anyone was doing.

  “You three deserve the death that you are about to die,” Tiger Li thought to himself. He stepped forward and lifted the knife, intending to kill the monk, then saw the monk show his teeth as his face burst into a broad grin. Tiger Li was so frightened that he turned and was about to flee. Then, however, he saw that the monk was sleeping normally again. Tiger Li thought to himself, “The monk must have been dreaming. How was it that just as I was about to kill him, he grinned at me?” After a time, Tiger Li recovered from his fright and again stepped forward. He lifted the knife and started to bring it down. The monk pointed and touched the man with his magical power. Tiger Li was unable to move.