Adventures of the Mad Monk Ji Gong

by Guo Xiaoting

  After they had finished eating and had paid their bill, they were about to leave. Meanwhile, outside two headmen had arrived bringing with them eight underlings. They were officers of the Changshan yamen. “Greetings,” they had said to the manager of the inn. Then they asked, “Do you have staying in a room in your inn one named Lei and one named Chen?”

  “They are in the north room,” replied the manager.

  “Would you call them?” asked the officer.

  “Honorable Lei, Honorable Chen,” the manager called out. “There is someone asking for you.”

  “Who is it?” the two asked as they came out.

  “Are you two gentlemen named Lei and Chen?” asked the officers.

  “Yes,” they answered.

  “You two have been accused,” said the officer.

  “Who accused us?” asked Chen Liang.

  “You need not ask,” said the officer. “Just now the prefect gave us a warrant ordering you to appear. Whatever you have to say you can say in the yamen.”

  The manager of the inn stepped forward and asked, “Can you tell what this is all about? I am concerned, too. These two are guests at my inn. It is my affair also. Don’t leave yet.”

  “We cannot stay,” said the headmen. “The prefect has issued a warrant. We have no choice. These two must come to court. You can find out about it later. Honorable Lei and Honorable Chen, we must go.”

  Lei Ming and Chen Liang still did not know what this was about. However, they were brave men and not afraid of anything that might happen to them, and they knew that one could not bargain with fate. “Manager,” said Chen Liang, “you need not worry. We are not guilty of murder. There are all sorts of affairs. We don’t know what this is about. There must be some mistake. Whatever it is, it will not involve your inn.”

  “Since you are willing to go, I will not worry, but take good care of them, headmen!”

  “Yes,” replied the headmen.

  They left the inn and in a short time were at the yamen, where they were taken into the audience hall. The two headmen, Zhou Rui and Lo Biao, who might have recognized them, had taken leave and therefore were absent. Lei and Chen bowed to the prefect, who looked at the two angrily.

  CHAPTER 80

  Second Tiger Son accuses Lei and Chen; a chivalrous stalwart disturbs the court

  “YOU two! What are your names? Which of you is called Chen?” The two men gave their full names. Then the prefect continued. “Lei Ming and Chen Liang, you are accused of having immoral relations with the sister-in-law of Second Tiger Son for an unknown number of days!” When Lei Ming and Chen Liang heard these words, their exasperation and anger knew no bounds.

  When Second Tiger Son had left them during the night, the rascal had spent the rest of the night getting into the city. Then he took a broken rice bowl and scratched his head and clothing with it. At daybreak he was at the yamen gate making a complaint against them. This was why the prefect had called Lei and Chen to court.

  “In answer to your honor,” said Chen Liang, “we are Chejiang prefecture men. Lei is my sworn brother. This is the first time we have been in Changshan, and only stayed at the inn here last night. It was very hot, and we were trying to cool ourselves outside when we heard a call for help, ‘Murder! Murder!’ Since it is our profession to act as escorts, we try to be helpful. We thought it might be a highway robbery. We followed the sound to a courtyard. What we saw was a man threatening a woman with a sword. We then learned that it was Second Tiger Son threatening his sister-in-law. We did not know him, but we persuaded him to leave. We never thought that he would accuse us of having relations with his sister-in-law. We only stayed at the inn last night. If Your Honor does not believe us, ask the people at the inn. We have no connections with the Son family. We have not been here long and do not know them. If Your Honor would call the sister-in-law, she would tell you this is so. In addition, we come from far away and only arrived here last night. How could we have known her? If we had been here ten days or half a month, it would be a different situation.”

  While they were speaking, the prefect had already sent someone to bring Second Tiger’s sister-in-law to the yamen. She had been weeping steadily all morning. While her maid was urging her not to cry, there was a knock at the gate. When the maid answered it, she saw a female officer and two male officers. When the maid asked what the headmen and the woman wanted, they told her that she and her mistress must come to the yamen.

  On being told that, the widow said, “Good! Second Tiger has accused me. I was just about to accuse him!” She then hired a sedan chair, and with her maid went to the yamen.

  When the prefect saw her, the sister-in-law, kneeling before him, he knew by her greenish complexion that she was either a widow or a woman whose husband had been absent for a long time. “What is your name?” he asked.

  “My name is Son,” she answered. “My mother’s name was Kang. My husband left this life three years ago and I live alone in widowhood.”

  “Second Tiger has brought an accusation against you,” the prefect said. “He says that you have been having immoral relations with Lei Ming and Chen Liang. You see Second Tiger here in court and you must speak the truth.”

  “I really do not know anyone named Lei or Chen, and Second Tiger is not one of my immediate family, but a demon I called up by burning paper.” She went on to tell the entire story of what had happened.

  The prefect then ordered that Second Tiger, Lei Ming, and Chen Liang be removed from the audience hall. “Now that there are no outsiders here, I must ask you about your big stomach. What has caused it? If you speak the truth, I must help you. Is it caused by illness or are you going to have a child?”

  “Your honor, truly I am sick,” she replied.

  The prefect ordered that the yamen doctor be summoned. This yamen doctor was half blind, and after he had looked at her, he said, “Your Honor, I see that there is to be a happy event in the future.”

  When Widow Son heard this, she slapped the doctor in the face, saying, “How can you talk such rubbish! My husband has been dead for three years and I have lived alone since then as a widow. How could I be expecting a child? That is just nonsense coming out of your mouth!”

  The doctor listened and replied, “I say you are going to have a child.”

  “Widow Son,” said the prefect, “I ask you now, since you have denied Second Tiger’s accusation. Why did Lei Ming and Chen Liang come to your aid?”

  “I really do not know anyone named Lei or Chen,” she replied, “but when Second Tiger was going to kill me, I called out ‘Murder!’ and Lei and Chen came. I didn’t know them.”

  The prefect ordered that Lei Ming and Chen Liang be brought into the courtroom. When they came in, the prefect asked, “Lei Ming and Chen Liang, why were you two climbing over other people’s roofs in the middle of the night and interfering in things that were none of your business?”

  “We two had good intentions. How could we not act to save someone from being killed?”

  “Hateful!” exclaimed the widow Son.

  “What do you hate?” asked the prefect.

  “I hate the fact that these two men do not have a knife!” replied the widow. “Otherwise I would cut myself open and show the court whether I am sick or whether I am going to have a child!”

  “You have a lot of gall to talk that way in this court,” said Lei Ming. “I have a knife here. You can cut yourself open, and if you are sick, there must be someone who will avenge you. If you are going to have a child, you will know that yourself, as well as who the person was with whom you had relations.” With that, he threw the knife on the floor. Widow Son, seeing the knife, was about to seize it, but fortunately the hand of an officer standing nearby was quicker and he picked it up instead.

  When the prefect heard Lei Ming’s words and saw his action, he was outraged. He pounded his desk and said, “Lei Ming, you are both audacious and reckless! How dare you roar and bluster in the yamen audience hall before the prefe
ct himself! Come men, take him and beat him for me!”

  Just then, the prefect saw a note appear on his desk. He opened it and his expression changed completely. He gave a sigh, bowed his head, and said with a smile, “The prefect sees that you are a sincere person with something of a temper. I will have my men fix a table for you two and give you something to eat and drink. In a little while I will come and join you.”

  Lei Ming and Chen Liang thanked him and left the hall. In a nearby room, a man served them food and wine. “Second Brother,” said Chen Liang to Lei Ming, “this is strange! There must be some reason why His Honor is treating us this way. He must have some secret plan to imprison us. I fear we cannot escape.”

  “I don’t understand it at all,” said Lei Ming. “Let us finish eating and then see what happens.”

  What had just happened was that, right after Lei Ming had lost his temper and the prefect opened the note, he saw the following message: “Lei Ming and Chen Liang used to be wicked outlaws who belonged to the numerous men of the Greenwood. Then they reformed their ways and now they have an excellent reputation.” As the prefect read these words, he thought that this affair was very strange indeed, and wondered where the note had come from. As he looked at Lei Ming and Chen Liang, the prefect thought that not one of his men could compare with the two. He had Lo Biao summoned. “He would be able to deal with these two,” the prefect thought. As he continued to think about the note, he also wondered whether Lei Ming and Chen Liang had been at Ma Ran’s estate. He said to himself, “I will have the Tangled Hair Ghost, Yun Fang, brought out and see if he recognizes them. If he does, all the water in the Yellow River will not wash them clean.”

  Just as he was going to do this, he heard a voice outside say, “Your honor of the night and day! I have a wrong to declare, a bitter wrong!”

  As the prefect was about to ask who was outside, he saw Ji Gong walk into the audience hall, leading a scholar. Where had Ji Gong been? After the monk had said goodbye to Lei Ming and Chen Liang, he went on with the two headmen, Chai and She. Soon they saw a sedan chair approaching at a rapid pace.

  Once the monk saw it, he exclaimed, “Ai ya! O Mi To Fu! When there are such things, how can one ignore them?” The monk took his two head-men and followed the sedan chair into the village. There they saw it enter a large gate on the north side of the road.

  “Old Chai and old She,” said the monk, “you two wait outside.” The monk entered the gate and said, “Greetings! Greetings!”

  One of the household servants came out and said, “Teacher, if you want to beg, go elsewhere. This is not a good time. If you had come three days earlier, it would have been. Just now the master will have nothing to do with Daoists or Buddhists.”

  “What wrong has the yuanwai suffered?” asked the monk. “Tell me about it.”

  “You are a person who has left the world,” replied the servant. “There is no use in telling you, but since you ask, I will tell you. It is the yuanwai’s third little wife. Three days ago the time came for her to have a baby, but she has been unable to give birth. We called several midwives, but it was no use. We sent her to her aunt’s home in the sedan chair to see if that family could help, but that was no good either. It is often said that small women should not marry large men, but what can we do? The yuanwai feels terrible.”

  “Don’t worry,” soothed the monk. “Tell your yuanwai that I am a monk who can help with giving birth.”

  “Monk, you’re asking a great deal,” said the servant. “What family has ever asked a monk to come into the room where a child is being born?”

  “You don’t understand,” said the monk. “I have an unusual medicine that will help in giving birth. When it is taken, the birth takes place immediately afterward.”

  “In that case,” said the servant, “I will relay your request.” He went inside and spoke to the distraught yuanwai, who at once asked that the monk be brought in. The servant came out and said, “The yuanwai invites you in.”

  The monk went in with the servant to the library. When the yuanwai saw before him a poor ragged monk, he asked him to sit down, saying, “Holy monk, do you have a medicine that helps in giving birth?”

  The monk nodded his head.

  CHAPTER 81

  Zhao Yuanwai inquires about cause and effect; Second Tiger recognizes Dr. Xu

  “WHERE do you come from, monk? And what is your honorable name?” asked the yuanwai.

  “I come from the Monastery of the Soul’s Retreat on the West Lake. The first character of my name reads Dao and the Second Ji. I am the Ji Dian about whom people often speak. What is the yuanwai called?”

  “My surname is Zhao,” replied the yuanwai, “and I am called De zhong. Just now I heard one of my people say that the holy monk has some subtle medicine that can help a difficult birth. If the holy monk can help in this birth, I would be most deeply thankful.”

  “I have here a piece of medicine,” said the monk. “If you will take it, dissolve it in hot and cold water, and give it to the mother, the child will come forth naturally.”

  Zhao Dezhong took the medicine and gave it to a servant, explaining clearly what the monk had said. In a little while a woman came into the library, exclaiming, “Great happiness for the yuanwai! When the medicine was taken, the child was born. You have a son!”

  When Zhao Dezhong heard, he was most happy and said, “Holy monk, you are indeed a good spirit,” and ordered that wine be prepared.

  “Outside there are two headmen who came with me. They are waiting at the gate,” explained the monk.

  When the yuanwai heard this, he immediately ordered a servant to bring the two headmen inside. Then servants brought food and wine, and everyone sat eating and drinking. “There is something that I truly do not understand,” said Zhou Yuanwai. “Perhaps the holy monk could explain it to me.”

  The monk asked what it was.

  “In the beginning, I cared only for myself. I thought of myself as an important person, but in fact, my success came about through the efforts of others. I had three wives and three sons, and I was able to support my family. One day I called my three sons together to teach them about the cotton business. I explained to them such things as when prices were high, you might ask the full price of someone unknown to you but give a discount to a valued customer. I did not tell even them, however, that I had quicksilver in the hollow arm of one set of scales so that I could shift as I chose and move the balance to give short weight to a customer. Then one day, a suspicious customer got very angry during the sale of one thousand pounds of cotton. Then he caught a chill and died. I felt guilty and ashamed and changed my ways.

  “Less than a month later, my oldest son died and his bride-to-be married someone else. The funeral was hardly over when my second son died as well. Less than two months later, my third son died. My three sons are all dead. Tell me, Monk, how can I become a good man and avoid evil?”

  The monk laughed and told him, “Your first son was a taker of drugs. You are lucky that he died. Your second son was headed toward bankruptcy. Your third son would have brought you all sorts of harm through his evil ways and you would have been a friendless beggar in your old age. Heaven is not blind. You have turned toward good ways and this makes you the best of men. Your newborn son will now be a joy to you, and all will be well.”

  As Zhao Yuanwai listened, it was as if he were waking from a dream. “Holy Monk,” he said, “you have taught me how to live. Now I have a son and can continue.”

  “Your son will lead you toward the light,” the monk said. “You need only keep on in your changed condition.”

  “Very well,” said Zhao Yuanwai, “but now please, Holy Monk, keep on eating and drinking.”

  When the group had finished eating it was late, and the monk, together with the headmen, were invited to stay the night. In the morning the monk rose as soon as it was light, and the three men went on their way toward Changshan.

  At the crossroads just inside the Changshan city wal
ls, they saw near the doorway of a two-story house about twenty waiting men arguing and wrangling among themselves.

  “What are you doing here?” the monk asked.

  “We are waiting to be examined,” one of the men answered. “Master Xu, who lives here, is a famous doctor. In one day he will see twenty patients but no more. Those who come earliest get to see him. We all came early and have been waiting to be seen, but the master has not yet arisen.”

  “Is that so?” asked the monk. “I will go and call him.” With that, he walked into the entrance and shouted, “Hasn’t the master of examinations gotten up yet?”

  A doorkeeper came out and said, “Don’t talk nonsense, monk. Where are there any managers of medical examinations?”

  “There are people waiting,” said the monk.

  “There are no people waiting inside,” said the doorkeeper. “The master is here.”

  “Ask him to come out,” the monk said. “I want to be examined for my illness.” Just as he said this, the doctor came out. He was wearing a brilliant blue robe with a silken sash to hold it together and a blue scholar’s kerchief tied over his hair knot. On his feet he wore shoes with a pattern of bamboo leaves. This was the local doctor. He had just arisen, and hearing the shouting, stepped outside. When he saw that it was a poor ragged monk, Dr. Xu asked, “Monk, what is the matter?”

  “I want to be examined for my illness,” replied the monk.

  The doctor thought to himself, “I will give him a quick examination and that will end this.” He took the monk’s hand and looked at it.

  “Don’t look at my hand,” said the monk. It’s not my hands that are bothering me—it’s my head.”

  The doctor looked at the monk’s head for some time and then said, “You have no illness, monk.”

  “I have!” countered the monk.

  “I see that everything is in order, monk—you are not sick!”

  “I am sick,” said the monk, “and not only that, you are sick as well. However, I have no way of curing your sickness.”