Christmas Harmony

by Di Jones

  He didn’t bother correcting her, because there didn’t seem to be much point. He was back now anyway, and what was done was done, no matter how bad he felt about it. But as Carmen drove him back to his luxury Bel-Air pad, prattling about nothing of any importance to him, he gripped the door handle, the thought not lost on him that if he could do so he’d jump out of the car, race back to the airport and get the next plane back to Lewiston.

  For the second time in his life Emery had left Harmony and this time he knew without a shadow of a doubt that he’d made the biggest mistake of his life.

  Fifteen

  Harmony

  Harmony hadn’t spent a moment worrying that Emery would have left town. He might have threatened to, but she knew he wasn’t hard-hearted enough to do it. Not this time around, not now that they had reconnected and wanted to be together. And the fact that he’d rung her so many times proved how much he cared. Was she going to return his calls? No, of course not…not when she could make him suffer a little bit. Anyway, she’d see him soon enough at the rehearsal. She was dreading it, because someone would have to back down and that someone wasn’t going to be her. Yet she didn’t want anyone else to feel the tension between them and be uncomfortable. Hopefully they could smooth things over, at least enough so that it wouldn’t have a detrimental effect on the show. Final rehearsals were always difficult, with last minute technical hitches and performers’ nerves to soothe, and what she most needed to feel at the end of this evening was that the performers would excel and be confident on opening night.

  The concert had to come first, she told herself, and then later she could deal with everything else. That is, if there was anything else. Because despite the fact he cared about her, maybe they didn’t have a future at all, and maybe some of the hard words that had been said between them had a seed of truth in them. A lot of time had passed since they’d been sweethearts years ago, and perhaps she’d been foolish to believe—even for a short period of time—that they could recapture what they once had. It hardly ever happened that way, so why should she expect she’d be lucky enough to get her fairy tale ending? She wouldn’t, she already knew that. But they could be friends who could do this Christmas concert together…then they could go their own ways. It hurt thinking about it, but she had to keep things in focus. At the moment the only important thing was the concert. The whole town—including loads of her kids—was looking forward to it, and she knew Emery, consummate professional that he was, would be there.

  But when she got to the auditorium at seven o’clock, half an hour before rehearsals, she didn’t see him. She scanned the hall, registering that a few volunteers had already arrived, but no Emery. She took a seat in the front row and pulled out her cellphone. Yes, she had the time right, and no, he hadn’t left a message, or at least not since the ones she’d refused to return.

  She got up from her seat and walked around, touching base with everyone there. “Have you seen Emery?” she asked one, then another.

  No one had seen him since the rehearsal the day before. Disappointed but undeterred she busied herself as the children and their parents started to arrive, carrying costumes and props. By seven thirty her stomach was tight and knotted, and apprehension pushed bile in her esophagus. She was about to sneak outside and phone him when she spotted Mona, the proprietor of the local bookstore.

  “I thought you were away on vacation, Mona. We’ve missed having you as a volunteer this year.”

  “I got back yesterday, just in time for the Christmas concert,” Mona told her. “And I thought I’d better come down tonight to see if you needed any help.”

  “That’s so sweet of you, but we’ve got so many volunteers this year because Emery Dante came back to do the Christmas concert.”

  “I heard he was back, but he’s gone again, hasn’t he? I saw him at the airport yesterday when I flew in. One of the staff there told me he was flying back to Los Angeles.”

  Harmony felt the blood draining from her face as the woman’s voice receded, as if she was a long distance away. She couldn’t think properly, couldn’t immediately process the implication of what Mona was telling her, but as it began to sink in she shook her head. “No. He couldn’t have gone back.”

  “What happened, Harmony?” Mona’s tone was less concerned and more interested in knowing the salacious details.

  As Harmony tried to think of something to say her logical mind told her there was only one conclusion she could come to. Emery wasn’t going to be in the production and there was nothing she could do about it.

  She scanned the room frantically, trying to find a distraction from Mona’s prying. And then she saw them. Anita and Aiden had come in, and he was in tears.

  “Mona, I’ve got to go.”

  Before Mona could detain Harmony she hurried over to Anita and Aiden. “Is Aiden okay?” she asked Anita.

  “He’s worried. He thinks he’s not going to be able to do his song. I don’t know what’s happened because yesterday he was fine about it all.”

  Harmony crouched down next to Aiden. “Sweetheart, you’re going to be great. You know all your words, don’t you?”

  The little boy nodded seriously. “Yes,” he said in a shy voice. “I can remember them.”

  “And the tune?” Harmony sang the first line of the song, and then Aiden joined in. Quietly they sang the first verse. “See, you can remember the music too.”

  Aiden looked around the room then whispered to her with his hand over his mouth. “I’m scared.”

  “What are you scared of, darling?”

  He shook his head, his eyes wide. “Emery told me he’s scared when he sings in front of people.”

  “Is that what you’re scared of? Singing in front of people?”

  “Yup. But Emery told me he’ll be here with me.”

  He told me the same thing too. As Harmony considered the lie Emery had told both of them, she sighed. The last thing she was going to do was disappoint Aiden. The show must go on, after all. “Don’t worry, sweetie,” she told the boy. “Emery isn’t here, but you’ll be fine. Now, your mom will take you to get ready.”

  As Anita led Aiden away, Harmony started rehearsing the first turn, continuing act by act, running the kids through their routines. Her body went through the motions, but all the time in the back of her mind she was thinking of Emery, and how he’d proved her suspicious heart right. Clearly, he was still having a relationship with Carmen and her turning up had put him in an intolerable position. He must have been terrified when the two women came face to face…no wonder he’d returned to LA.

  “Are you okay, Harmony?” Anita asked, coming back out, this time without Aiden who was performing last with Eliza-May. “You look a bit preoccupied. And where is Emery?”

  “He’s gone, hasn’t he, darling?” Harmony turned to see her mother standing behind her. “I thought I better come down and support you, just in case.”

  “What’s going on?” Anita asked, looking from Gladys to Harmony and back again.

  She brought Anita up to date on what had happened between her and Emery, then told them both Mona’s revelation that she’d seen Emery at the airport. “So yes, he’s gone, and I have to do the show by myself.”

  “No, not by yourself. You have all of us volunteers,” Anita told her, touching her on the arm. The simple touch brought tears to Harmony’s eyes.

  “And to be fair, Emery worked so hard with the kids that there’s nothing to sort out now.” Harmony gestured to the youngsters singing behind them. “They’ve all been brilliant. And I’m determined that the show will be fantastic, with or without Emery. But I do have a big problem. Emery was the main act. What am I going to do without a lead?”

  Gladys hugged her. “You don’t need Emery at all. He was only the icing on the cake. The show has been brilliant every year, and it will be this year too.”

  “I know it will be, Mom, but I still need a closing act. Otherwise the show will be too short. Who on the earth can I get to do i
t at this late notice?”

  “I know exactly who can do it.” Gladys’s eyes were twinkling with amusement.

  “Me too,” Anita chimed in. “It will be just as good.”

  “For goodness sakes, don’t keep me in suspense. Who is it? Oh, no—”

  “Yes, darling.” Gladys’ voice was firm, as Anita nodded her agreement.

  “You’ll be perfect, Harmony. You have an amazing voice.”

  Cold gripped at her, and she shook her head to say no again. She couldn’t do it. She wouldn’t take the stage ever again. The last time she’d sung in public years before it had totally ended in disaster. She’d never forget the moment she’d been on stage, made the mistake of looking out at the audience and—bang—stage fright had kicked her in the chest, paralyzing her body, her voice, her mind, and her confidence. And she’d never regained her belief in herself.

  She still remembered the feeling of time suspending as she tried to force her voice out, and when it finally came it was squeaky and off key. She’d forced herself to continue and as she sang her vocal chords responded. Afterwards everyone told her they hardly noticed her poor start, but she knew they were all lying. The feeling of her knees knocking together, the sweat pooling between her breasts, the silence in the hall as she froze, and worst of all—sympathy in the eyes of the audience—were all engraved in her memory.

  And she’d never sung since.

  “No,” she told them. “I won’t do it. You know I can’t, Mom. What if the same thing happens, like last time?”

  Gladys looked at her tenderly. “Sweetheart, you’re among family and friends. We all love you, and we know you can do this. And if you don’t do it, who else can?”

  As weakness overcame her, her legs trembled. This was the last thing she wanted to do, and if her legs were stronger she’d run, but what good would that do? Who else would do this for her? There was no one in town talented enough who wasn’t already in the concert, no one in town that had practiced for the show, and probably no one in town who cared enough to help at this final moment.

  She clenched her hands and took a deep breath. You can do it, you must. “Okay,” she said, adrenaline spiking in her system, “I will.”

  Anita punched the air, while Gladys pulled her daughter in for a huge hug. “You’re doing the right thing, honey. That’s one of the many things I love about you. You always put other people before yourself.”

  Christmas Eve arrived and despite her fears and insecurities Harmony’s gut buzzed with the same excitement she always felt on this special day. The hours passed in a blur of activity. Last minute questions and concerns from the parents, volunteers wanting to be sure of their duties on show night, and the ever-present Gladys, who wanted to be certain Harmony didn’t suffer from a last-minute change of heart. But she wouldn’t do that, not like Emery had. Her grief was turning into a hard ball of hatred. How he could disappoint not only her, but all the children who worshipped him, she didn’t know. How he could let down a town that needed him was hard to imagine. Harmony let her grief and anger fuel her on, and before she knew it, evening had arrived and it was time for the annual festivities—in which her family played a major role—to begin.

  It was a dark but clear night, cold as the Arctic, with the stars shining in the midnight blue sky. Lewiston Square was full of chattering, happy people, dressed in their finest winter coats, warm jerseys, gloves, scarves and hats. The smell of hot chocolate and cinnamon donuts scented the air, as people queued by the food and drink trucks for their pre-concert refreshments and milled around admiring the twinkling Christmas lights. In the middle of the square was Santa Claus, resplendent in his red robes, waving at the children gathering to see him. Harmony pulled her cherry-red coat around her, trying to still the twinge of sadness in her core, and instead focusing on the joyful crowds around her. The festivities opened with her father Arnold giving his annual Christmas speech from the rotunda, and at the end of it her mother Gladys flicked the switch to light up the thirty-foot-high Christmas tree in the center of the square. There were gasps of amazement because there were new lights: silver and gold in the shapes of the stars, sun and moon. Everyone cheered as the top of the tree seemed to burst into flame as the giant metallic fairy glowed bronze.

  Soon it would be time for the concert to begin. Harmony left the square and joined her army of volunteers in the Town Hall. Everything was running as planned. Her kids were in costume, all were upbeat and excited, the lighting technicians and stagehands were ready to go, and the orchestra was primed. Townspeople were starting to file into the hall buzzing with anticipation, and as Harmony peeked out from behind the massive red curtain from the side of the stage, a tingle ran through the length of her body, as she knew the show was just about ready to start.

  Arnold walked up behind her, gave her a quick peck on the cheek and walked onto the stage to open the show. He said everyone had been working hard and that he had no doubt this was going to be the most successful show ever. What he didn’t mention was Emery, and Harmony wondered if this was sensible on his part. She’d tried to argue that they should let everyone know, but her father said it wouldn’t make a lot of difference whether Emery was there or not. While Harmony admired her dad’s confidence, she didn’t agree and wasn’t looking forward to the fallout after the show. Her father’s role was to introduce each act, and Harmony resolved that before the end of the show, her father would let the audience know that Emery wasn’t going to perform. It was only fair to let them know, otherwise there’d be too many questions afterwards.

  Harmony had made it her job to tell the volunteers, quietly and without the children present. It would be too much for the kids, she’d decided, right before the show started. Their parents could tell them once the show had finished and the kids were basking from the high of their performances. It was the fairest way, to let the youngsters down gently.

  Then the curtains drew back and the show started. Harmony stayed on the side of the stage for the kids, mouthing the words, and dancing on the spot, knowing the kids could see her and took comfort from it. She wondered if they were aware Emery wasn’t there, but there was no time to worry about that. The first three acts went smoothly, but after that something started going awry. People were whispering and shifting in their seats, and Harmony could see Trisha and her father huddled together in the side aisle, having what looked like a heated discussion. Trisha agreed with her, that the audience should be told that Emery wasn’t going to perform, so that was probably what they were discussing. But it was having an effect on the children who were starting to sense something was wrong. The two that performed next froze in the middle of their duet, although they quickly got back into the rhythm when they made eye contact with Harmony and followed her lead. She could hear, though, other kids running and shouting behind the stage, and she wrung her hands, wishing one of the volunteers would get them sorted out because she couldn’t be in two places at once.

  Who will be here for me if I freeze? It was a rhetorical question, borne of nerves, because she knew her mother was supporting her, as Gladys had been standing beside her since the start of the show. The volunteers, who like her had been aghast at Emery’s no-show, would also be there once the show was over. So of course, would her father.

  Her eyes kept shifting to the door, hoping that Emery might’ve changed his mind, but he wasn’t there. She had to stay focused on what was going on in front of her even though butterflies and moths were fighting in her stomach. It seemed like a hundred years ago when she’d had her own dreams of going to Hollywood and being a star, and it had been hard letting that go. Emery had gone to Los Angeles alone, without asking her to join him, and it turned out that teaching was safer for her. Part of her anger with Emery was knowing that he’d taken their dream, made it his own, and she didn’t have a chance. Maybe in a funny way though, tonight was almost a second chance. Okay, so people might be turning up to hear Emery sing and they’d get her instead, but she was going to make sure she was g
ood. Like really fantastic.

  Okay, this is it, she thought, as the act that preceded her finished. Her father walked out on stage, frowning as he passed her. He stood in front of the microphone and took a deep breath, and Harmony could see his pain from the set of his shoulders. “Folks, I’m sorry to tell you at this late stage that there’s a change in the main act.” As he paused there was a ripple through the audience, nods and rustles, and many people glanced at those sitting beside them. Harmony could tell many of them already knew, and she wondered how. She didn’t have to wonder long, though, because it was obvious, wasn’t it? Mona was more effective than a bush telegraph, and she would have got the word out as soon as she arrived back in town. “Unfortunately, Emery Dante’s had to leave town unexpectedly.” He paused again, and this time Harmony knew it was because he was overcome with grief. Not for himself, and not for the town, but for her. No Dad wanted to see his daughter hurt, especially a second time.

  To her dismay, no sooner had her Dad announced the news that people began to get up from their seats and leave. First it was one or two people, then more stood.

  “Darling, get out there,” her mother prodded her. The band she’d managed to find as a stand-in for Emery’s band began to play, much better than they had at rehearsals. She left her shelter at the side of the curtains and walked out on stage with shaking legs, trying not to be overwhelmed by the lights blinding her and the diminishing audience in front of her. Her stomach was a tight, huge knot and even though the air inside the auditorium was cool, she could feel sweat breaking out on the back of her neck, behind her knees and on her upper lip. She opened her mouth to sing, but although words came out, they were thin and reedy.

  It was at that exact moment that she became aware of Aiden. He and Eliza-May had just finished performing, and while their duet had gone well, Aiden was at the side in the curtains, sobbing uncontrollably. Not only that, but again she could hear shouting coming from the back of the set. She squinted, trying to see what was happening, but she guessed what it was. Aiden—and the other children—had just been told that Emery hadn’t been there to see them.