Forever Craving You: A Grudging Hearts Novel

by Arthurs, Nia

  The fight in her eyes.

  Good. At least she’s not falling for this guy’s B.S.

  Rick shakes his head and mutters, “You really look like you want to kill me.”

  “What are you doing here?”

  “I told you. To talk.”

  “About what? You said everything you needed to say. And so did I.”

  “No, that last time you just screamed at me. I couldn’t get a word in.”

  “Did you deserve anything more than that?” she scoffs.

  “Look, Chandra. I’ve changed. I…” His eyes move to Teale. Me. Back to Chandra. “This isn’t something I can say in front of an audience.” His voice drops. “At least ditch the bodyguards. Please.”

  “Not a chance in hell,” I bark.

  Teale maintains formation.

  I feel a soft touch on my arm.

  Turn.

  Eyes collide with Chandra’s.

  The breath leaves my lungs in a whoosh.

  “Guys,” she licks her lips, “can you excuse us?”

  I whirl around.

  Shade her from Rick’s oily face.

  “I’m not leaving you alone with him,” I hiss.

  The thought of Rick putting his hands on her again makes me want to draw blood.

  His blood.

  Large amounts of it.

  Leave?

  No. Damn. Way.

  “I can handle Rick,” she says.

  I want to believe her.

  I swear I do.

  But not getting involved isn’t an option anymore.

  Not now.

  When I know how I feel about her.

  “He won’t leave until I hear him out.”

  I lean forward. Whisper in her ear. “He’ll leave if he’s in a body bag.”

  “Murder? Are we really going there?”

  I’ve done much worse.

  She has no idea.

  And I’d travel to that dark, hopeless place again if it means keeping Chandra safe.

  “I won’t let him hit me again.”

  It’s not like she can control him. How the hell does she know what he’ll try?

  “Chandra?” Rick calls like a mewling child.

  “Go.” Chandra gives me a little shove.

  I remain in place. “No.”

  “Leave, Ollie.”

  “You heard her,” Rick taunts.

  The last nerve holding my sanity together snaps.

  Breaks.

  Completely.

  I whirl around. Fists clobbering at my sides.

  I’m moving across the room. Zigzagging around tables and chairs.

  My gaze locks in on Rick’s face.

  My fist knows exactly where it wants to plant itself.

  He cringes. Eases back. Lifts his arms to protect his ugly mug.

  He knows what I’m thinking too.

  “Stop!” Chandra screams.

  Her voice bounces across the walls.

  Bounces into my ears.

  My arm drops to my side like a rock.

  Teale glances at me. Frightened blue eyes. A twitching mouth. He’s never seen this side of me before.

  “Leave, Ollie.”

  My heart thuds.

  Her voice is firm. Sharp as a whip.

  “Now.”

  I stare at her. Stunned. Hurt.

  “Come on, bro.” Teale grapples for my arm.

  I wrench him off.

  He steps back.

  Watches me.

  I find Chandra’s eyes.

  Why the hell is she following Rick up? Why is she protecting him?

  Her eyes are steady. Cold. Guarded.

  A crippling thought staggers my heart.

  She’s not over him.

  The revelation is enough to turn my limbs to useless hinges.

  She was waiting for him.

  Teale shoves me in the back.

  She wanted him.

  I stumble forward.

  Another shove.

  Chandra glances away. Doesn’t stop me from going.

  My brother successfully wrestles me out of the bakery. Into his Jag. Out on the road.

  My chest swells.

  I dig my fingernails into my palm.

  “Are you okay?” Teale asks.

  I can’t talk.

  The swirling crapstorm of anger and hurt makes it hard to breathe.

  “I get that you’re pissed, but if anyone should be furious right now, it’s me.”

  That knocks me back to the moment.

  “You always have to make it about yourself, don’t you?”

  “Screw you, Ollie. You knew I was taking Chandra out tonight.”

  “You said you’d back off.”

  “And you told me nothing would happen between you two.”

  “I meant it.”

  “I just caught you sucking her face off! You could have come to me like a man and told me you’d changed your mind.”

  I rub the bridge of my nose.

  Teale’s right.

  “I’m—”

  “Yeah, I know. You’re sorry.” His fingers flex on the wheel. “Who was that guy?”

  I stiffen.

  Focus on the larger matter at hand.

  “Chandra’s ex.”

  “That much I put together myself. I mean, what’s his deal? Given his clothes and his watch, he’s not some regular schmuck chasing the one that got away.”

  “He’s Rick Bane. He owns Trutop Corp.”

  “Tru—” Teale’s eyes widen. He almost veers off the road. “You mean, that’s… you’re kidding. The billion-dollar company?”

  I scowl.

  My brother ducks his head. Curses beneath his breath. “Is that why you lost it? Because he’s loaded and you think she’ll choose him over you?”

  I say nothing.

  “Dude, relax. From the little I saw back there, Chandra wasn’t pushing you off. If anything she was giving as good as she got.”

  I groan. “Don’t.”

  “Who cares if you don’t have a billion dollars? Money’s not the only thing.”

  He’s got it all wrong.

  To Chandra, money is everything.

  I want to believe that she’s entertaining Rick because of something else.

  But I’m not that naïve.

  She’s putting herself in danger. She pushed me away.

  For that guy.

  For that guy’s wallet.

  There’s nothing I can do if she doesn’t want me.

  Absolutely nothing.

  But if he hurts her again, I’ll kill him.

  If I see one bruise…

  My breath thickens with anger. “Take me back.”

  “What?” Teale peels his gaze off the road. Slants me a confused look.

  “Turn the car around and go back to the bakery.”

  “Bro, you heard what Chandra said. She wanted us gone.”

  “I don’t give a damn.” I glare at him. Let the heat in my words splinter from my gaze.

  If Rick hit her in the past, he could do it again.

  Chandra might drop me like I’m nothing. Like I’m a toy she was playing around with while Rick, or any other rich man who more suited her fancy, caught her eye. Stole her attention. Paid her bills.

  I don’t care.

  I’m not letting him hurt her.

  I’m not running away.

  I’m not letting her go.

  Teale doesn’t listen. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

  I grab the door handle and pull.

  Teale curses. Swerves to the side. “What the hell are you doing?”

  I release my seatbelt. Watch the roaring blur of highway and concrete outside.

  A car honks.

  The wind pulls at my shirt. Musses my hair.

  Teale slams on the brakes. Curses pop rapid-fire from his lips. Blue eyes widen.

  I ignore him.

  Spring out.

  Roll down the grassy embankment.

  Jump
to my feet.

  Run.

  Back to Brew Drop.

  Back to Chandra.

  14 Chandra

  Seeing Rick again unlocks my chest of memories, takes me back to places I’d rather not descend. Like the first time he hit me.

  “Babe.” he gasped.

  Stared at his hand.

  As if it had grown it’s own brain and taken over.

  Stared at me.

  My hair tumbled over my face.

  A curtain.

  A shade.

  I trembled.

  More from shock than pain.

  It hurt. Stung, really. But my heart thudded so fast I didn’t feel it as much as I should.

  “I’m so sorry,” he muttered.

  Eyes wild.

  Tearing up.

  I straightened slowly.

  “Chandra.” He rushed me. Wrapped his arms around me. Rocked. “I didn’t mean to do that. I got angry for a minute. Lost myself. I shouldn’t have. It’ll never happen again. I swear.”

  He made his apology a big one.

  The day after, I got a new car.

  The most expensive on the lot. Money on wheels.

  And I stayed.

  But Rick broke his promise.

  And now he’s back.

  Bells jangle.

  My head aches.

  “Thanks, Baby.” Rick tries to slink toward me.

  “Stay right there.” I hold up a hand.

  Rick freezes.

  Teale’s Jag is nothing but a dot outside.

  I watch until it disappears.

  They left.

  Ollie’s probably pissed.

  No, I saw more than that in his eyes when I spat at him to get out.

  Pain. I cut him where it hurt.

  The thought makes me flinch.

  Rick raises his hands like I’m holding a gun. “I told you. I’ve changed, Chandra. I’m not the man I used to be.”

  “Yeah right.”

  “If you didn’t believe me, then why did you send them away?” He grins. “I know you missed me, Chandra.”

  I press my lips into a thin line. “Don’t flatter yourself, Rick. I didn’t send them away because I give a damn about what you have to say.”

  “Then why did you do it?”

  I huff out a breath.

  Why?

  Because Ollie was about to go to jail for me. And that wasn’t okay. Rick’s got a lot of clout. If he reports Ollie for assault, he’s going away for a long, long time.

  Sending him out was the only path I saw that protected him.

  “Chandra, listen to me.”

  “Get out, Rick.”

  “I know you’re hurt.”

  “You don’t know jack.”

  “We spent six months together. We were in love.”

  I slant him a look.

  “We cared about each other,” he amends.

  “You cared more about impressing your friends than me. Don’t try to repaint the past.”

  He has no comeback.

  It’s the truth.

  We both know it.

  Uplifting Rick’s image was my only purpose.

  He clears his throat. “Things could have ended on a… better note. I was stressed. The deal with Howard was putting a lot of pressure on me.”

  Howard is Rick’s billionaire buddy. A year ago, he tried to hit on me in a club parking lot. Ollie and Griffin saw and got involved, thinking they were protecting me.

  Words were exchanged. Threats were made.

  As my friends whisked me away, I’d tried not to freak out, sensing all hell would break loose when Rick found out about it.

  And that’s exactly what happened.

  I opened the front door.

  Tiptoed in.

  My sweaty palms dug into the elegant silver dress with the slit up the thigh.

  It was designer.

  The kind of dress that made both women and men stop to stare.

  I’d been excited to put it on to meet Cobie earlier. The fabric was sheer class. Elegance. Sophistication with a touch of sparkle.

  I’d felt like a princess then.

  Now, I felt like a walking target.

  The foyer was dark.

  My heels echoed against the tiles.

  Every click was a gunshot.

  I stopped.

  Took them off.

  They dangled from my fingers like drooping petals.

  I looked left. Right.

  Took another step.

  The light on the second floor landing burst on. Orange claws tore through the darkness. Destroying my covering. My refuge.

  I froze, heart beating crazily.

  Rick stood at the head of the stairs. Eyes hard. Cold. Latest smartphone plastered to his ear. “Yeah, Howard. I apologize. No.” He paused. “I’ll deal with it.”

  My entire body stiffened.

  Me. I was that ‘it’ Rick wanted to deal with.

  I pulled myself together. It wasn’t the first time one of Rick’s friends had hit on me. It happened before. Often.

  In fact, Rick liked that. Found validation in it. Got off on it.

  He owned something others wanted.

  It was his obsession.

  I was happy to provide that.

  Kept myself in perfect shape to accomplish that.

  Wore the most expensive weaves to maintain that.

  “Hi, Baby.”

  He marched down the stairs. Rigid. Hands in the pockets of his silky pajama pants. He loved to lounge around the house in them. Like anybody cared that the clothes he slept in cost a couple hundred each.

  “You want to explain to me why the hell Howard called tonight?”

  “It was a misunderstanding—”

  He cursed. Cut me off. “You know damn well how important this deal is.”

  “I do.”

  “You messed things up for me, Chandra.”

  “Baby, it’s not that serious.”

  His expression shifted to something dangerous.

  I’d said the wrong thing.

  “Come here.”

  I backed away. “Rick, you promised.”

  “Shut up.” He raised his arm.

  I ran for the door.

  He hauled me back by my hair.

  “Let me go!” I screamed. “I’m leaving you!”

  “You think I care?”

  I squirmed. Tears flushed my eyes. Panic flung my heart around my ribs like a rag doll.

  “If you hit me, I’m calling the cops.”

  That gave him pause.

  He dropped his grip.

  Flung me to the ground.

  I scrambled up quickly before he kicked me. “Move.”

  “Where the hell are you going?”

  “I’m packing my stuff.”

  “You think you can leave me?” He yanked my arm.

  I blew out an angry breath. “Watch me.”

  “Fine. Leave if you want to. But you’re not taking anything.”

  “Get out of my face, Rick.”

  “Everything you have I paid for. Even that.” He tore my dress from my shoulder.

  The loud rip made me go still.

  Rick’s eyes took on a hard glint. Fingers tore the rest of the material.

  “What the hell are you doing?” I shrieked. Tried to grab at the tattered pieces. “This thing cost a fortune.”

  “That I paid, didn’t I? So give me everything that belongs to me before you get the hell out of my house.”

  “Rick!” I screamed.

  He ignored me.

  Pressed his hand into my face. “I paid for that makeup.”

  “Get. Off!”

  He snatched my wrist with one hand.

  Tore at my bra, exposed in the drooping fabric of the shredded dress. “I paid for this too.”

  “Stop!” I pushed his arms away.

  He clamped down on me and got the underwear off.

  Bile rose in my throat.

  Fear was bitter on my tongue. />
  Humiliation. Pain. Anger. Fury. They all pounded in my head.

  “Fine. Take it! Take it all!” I threw my smartphone at him. The keys to the convertible. My heels. My panties.

  Rick started ducking.

  I screamed and cussed and stalked out. Naked. Barefoot. Chest heaving. Hair a mess, thinking at least he hadn’t taken my weave.

  I went round the back to avoid the housekeeper’s bungalow and stole a curtain we’d thrown out in the garbage pile to wrap around myself while I headed to Cobie’s.

  “Chandra, I was wrong. Take me back.”

  I scoff. Focus on him.

  The memories of that night slowly fade like a fog chased away by sunshine.

  “You think I’m a fool?”

  “I think slaving away in a place like this isn’t what you were meant for. You always used to say that you were a princess in your other life. I believe that’s true.”

  “You never treated me like a princess, Rick. You treated me like an object.”

  “Like I said. I’ve been thinking a lot this past year. The fact that I hurt you tears me up inside. You were the best thing that happened to me, Chandra.”

  I roll my eyes. “You’re delusional.”

  “Deny it all you want. I’m the only person who understands you and what you really want. I saw all the times you got hurt when people judged you for being with me. When they treated you like an imposter. I know all you’ve ever wanted was to be somebody, to be respected. It wasn’t the money you were after. It was the power that came with it.

  Shock slacks my mouth.

  There’s a vein of truth there.

  I hate that.

  Rick goes into the inner lining of his expensive blazer. Pulls out a box. He cracks open the lid. It eases back with a pop.

  I gasp.

  The rock sitting on the band captures the light. Reflects it. Shines brighter than it.

  Rick lowers himself to one knee.

  I shuffle back. “What are you doing?”

  “Chandra Renae Howard,” he says. Brown eyes shimmer. He extends his arm. “I’ll turn you into somebody the whole world has to respect. I’ll make it so that no one ever snobs their nose at you again. You’ll never have to work a day in your life. Everything you want will be yours. I’ll do that for you and more… if you’ll agree to be my wife.”

  I should say no.

  My eyes linger on the ring. It’s so big. So shiny.

  Damn it.

  Why can’t I say no?

  You’ll never be somebody without a rich man, Chandra.

  Mom’s voice.

  The ring calls to me.

  I shuffle forward. Reach for it.

  I should grab it and throw it in Rick’s face. Stuff it down his throat for all he did to me. I should, right?