Heart of the Pack

by Kristen Banet

  “Real brother?” Thomas huffed. “You just admitted that you haven’t considered me family for years! Antonio and James have been more my brothers in the last decade than you have. Antonio for even longer.”

  “James, the riffraff from Texas I only let in the inner circle because he could handle shit I didn’t want to? Antonio, the poor boy of a couple enforcers that followed you around for years like a fucking puppy? Great brothers you have there. Have fun with your whore,” Chris snapped. “I’m fucking-”

  Thomas didn’t hear any more. His temper exploded, like a bomb that had been ticking in his chest. He launched himself across the room and tackled Chris to the floor. He swung the moment he got the chance and connected to Chris’ jaw, hearing a solid crack. Something hit him in the gut and he grunted, but he stayed on his brother and kept swinging.

  Chris was able to shove him off after four solid hits and struggled to stand. Thomas recovered faster and shoved his brother into the wall, sending his knee into Chris’ gut. Then he threw his brother to the floor and watched Chris cough, weakly trying to get up.

  “Abigail. Her fucking name is Abigail,” Thomas snarled. “Say something like that one more time and I’ll meet you in wolf form.”

  “You got a girl, a couple of friends, a dog, and a bar.” Chris chuckled. Thomas watched him wipe blood off his face. He figured he broke Chris’ nose, and he didn’t feel bad for it. “Cute little house.”

  “I offered,” Thomas reminded him. “I offered you a piece of the house, and the bar. A chance to fucking have a good life.”

  “I’m not taking anything from you,” Chris grumbled. “I don’t need your fucking charity.”

  “You’ll take it from me when it’s not offered,” Thomas growled. “You like using me.”

  “I’m an asshole. I know it. It gets me what I want, though.” Chris shrugged. “I deserve more than this fucking mediocre existence you love so much. Thanks for keeping me out of Heath’s hands. I knew coming here to you would keep me from dying while the shit was too hot.”

  “Get out.” Thomas pointed to his door. “Don’t come back. If you walk into my territory, I’ll hunt you. If Heath stumbles on you in Colorado, I won’t save you. I’m fucking done cleaning up your messes, Chris. I did it when we were kids, and all it got me was you helping me join the Marines behind Dad’s back. It was probably to get me out of your fucking way of doing whatever you want, get me out of your sight, since you blame Jillian on me. I did it in South Dakota, where I kept our Pack’s head above water and got nothing except for your disdain and disrespect. We fucking lost everything because you wanted to do something stupid and rash, and we got fucking burned for it. Five good men who followed you are dead because of it.” He took a deep breath before continuing. “You don’t get to ruin my life now. Not after I’ve worked so hard to make something good for the people you fucked over.”

  They stared at each other for a long time. He was finished. He didn’t care if his brother wanted to go out and get himself killed. He would miss Chris. He loved his damn brother, but the hateful glint in Chris’ eyes told him it wasn’t returned. He was tired of throwing away his emotional energy to take care of his damn brother. He wasn’t going to keep giving and getting nothing in return. Thomas was cutting the baggage.

  “Get. Out.” He repeated it stronger.

  Chris left without another word.

  Thomas went back to his desk and collapsed into his chair. He picked up the office phone, since his cell phone was destroyed, and called home. He decided on James’ cell phone, hoping the more mature of his brothers would answer.

  “Thomas?” James groaned. “Fucking hell, what’s up man? Actually, let me get out of the bedroom so I don’t wake them up.” Them being Antonio and Abigail. Thomas smiled at the thought of them all piled into her bed together. He wished he’d been able to go home earlier. He’d been happy to let them leave without him, and now he was jealous he’d missed it. “All right. I’m in the living room. This should be far enough away from Abigail if I keep my voice down. What happened?”

  “Chris is leaving.” Again. This time he was fucking glad. “His friends have been picked up by Heath. They were all a part of the attempted coup in Virginia.”

  “Jesus. You need me to come back to the bar?”

  “No, I’m coming back soon. Just…”

  “Need a moment to think?” Thomas loved how well James and Antonio knew him. Chris would have just called him lazy for not getting moving faster. “When did he leave?”

  “Maybe two minutes ago,” Thomas sighed. “James…he fucking hates me.”

  “I know,” James whispered softly.

  “Of course you did,” Thomas mumbled.

  “It was obvious to everyone except you,” he admitted softly. “Thomas…I’m sorry about your brother. I am. I wish you had a chance to work it out, but I don’t think he will ever be the brother you want him to be.”

  “I have brothers. I don’t need him,” Thomas told him, rubbing his face as he leaned back in the chair. He heaved a heavy sigh, feeling the pressure of Chris leave him immediately. It was sinking in: his brother wasn’t coming back. Thomas knew it because Chris wouldn’t test his patience. He didn’t threaten people lightly. He promised to hunt Chris if he came back, and he would.

  “You do,” James chuckled. “You’ll always have us.”

  “Will I?” Thomas asked softly. Mom. Wife. Chris. He was tired of losing people. He was tired of people who chose to leave him.

  “Yeah. We’ll get this worked out. Abigail finds out if she gets the job on Friday and we’ll figure it out.”

  “That’s my line,” Thomas groaned weakly. “All right, I’m coming home.”

  “I think it’s our line. I think I’ve said it to Abigail a few times. I’ll be here when you get home.”

  They hung up and he got up slowly. He was hoping Chris was already on his way out of town. Thomas nearly felt bad for it, but he was a little paranoid his brother was going to be waiting outside the bar to jump him.

  Chris wasn’t outside, and his Explorer wasn’t around. Thomas checked his truck for anything unusual before getting in. Paranoid.

  He drove home, constantly checking his rearview mirror. No one followed him.

  When he stepped through the front door of his home, he finally felt secure. Fenrir trotted over to him and bumped his head to Thomas’ hand. Thomas chuckled softly and rubbed the wolf-dog’s head. He whispered a greeting to the large pet of theirs. Fenrir would never leave him, never run off. Food, a bone, some belly rubs, and the wolf-dog was head over heels and loyal to the core. Unlike Thomas’ family.

  “Do you want to talk?” James asked him.

  Thomas stopped in the living room and looked at the wolf just lying out on the couch. His longer brown hair was sweeping over his face, tousled from sleep. Fenrir went to his bed, tucked between the recliner and the couch, and curled back up. Thomas watched the dog wistfully. Sleep seemed like a great fucking idea.

  “I want to sleep,” he replied. “Her room?”

  “Yeah,” James answered, nodding. “Let’s get to bed.”

  He and James walked into Abigail’s room quietly. Thomas stripped efficiently and slid under the blankets next to her. He felt as James got in bed on the other side of Antonio. He buried his face in her hair.

  So many people left him. By their own choice or just through dying.

  He breathed in her hair.

  He didn’t want to lose anyone else, but he didn’t know how to stop it. She was going to get this job and slip away, like sand between his fingers. He already knew it.

  19

  Abigail

  Abigail woke up to Thomas curled around her back, his fingers making trails of goosebumps over her ribs and stomach, while Antonio kissed her neck slowly.

  “Good morning,” Abigail sighed happily. She didn’t know when Thomas ended up in bed with her, but she was glad to have him there as well. He hadn’t come back from Rocker’s with the
m the night before, and it had made her worried and sad.

  “I’m taking you out today,” Antonio crooned. “Excited?”

  “Is this that date you wanted?” Abigail smiled at him as he pulled away.

  “Yeah,” Antonio chuckled.

  “And tomorrow, I’ve picked out a few houses in town and on the outskirts for you to look at,” Thomas whispered behind her, nuzzling his face into the back of her neck. “I hope you’re excited about that too.”

  “I am,” she whispered back. “About both.”

  “I smell breakfast.” Antonio looked towards the door. “James must have gotten up a bit ago.”

  “We should get up and help him,” Thomas groaned. “What time is it?”

  “Eight,” Antonio yawned. “Not too bad.”

  “What time did you get home last night, Thomas?” Abigail rolled over, and Thomas took her leg and pulled it over him, leaving his erection pressing as close to her as it could.

  “Past four,” Thomas growled, seeming agitated by it. “When we get out of bed, I’ll catch you up on what my last few days have been like.”

  “And why wouldn’t we be getting out of bed now?” She smiled at him.

  Antonio started chuckling behind her and left the bed. “I’ll give you two a minute,” he told them, pulling on sweatpants. He left without another word.

  “I’m very excited about a moment alone with you,” Thomas murmured. “Abigail-”

  “You don’t need to address what…what I said last week,” she told him quickly, not letting him finish what he was going to say. “I said it but that doesn’t mean you have to.”

  “I care about you,” he told her with conviction. He caressed her check with his rough fingertips. “I really do, Abigail.”

  “I know.” She moved to kiss him and pushed him to his back in the process. She was straddling him now, and when she pulled back from the kiss, she could look down and enjoy the sight. She loved the delicious sight of his scarred body, his toned, hard muscle. She loved him, his quiet and strangely distant ways. Thomas was a worrier, and she could see the worry in his eyes, the small haunted piece of him that was always ready for the worst. She could guess he was worried about how everything would work. They might even be worried about the same things. Were they moving too fast? Was this going to crash and burn? Was this going to end when they were all just coming to have feelings, or realize they were there?

  She was falling on the side that it wasn’t going to fall apart. She was going to do everything in her power to keep this. The job didn’t matter. Mornings like this did. To her, they were the best things she could have. Something she hadn’t wanted, hadn’t realized she needed.

  She didn’t need him to say ‘I love you’ back. She wanted it, but she didn’t need it. Not if he wasn’t ready. It made her chest ache and hurt, it made her fear she may never hear it, but she wasn’t going to rush him. He didn’t deserve to be rushed. Neither did Antonio, who hadn’t yet said it either.

  “We’re all…” He took a deep breath. “We’re all going through stuff. I want this to stay easy for a little longer.”

  “You have a week,” she teased. “Well, until Friday.”

  He just groaned and smiled up at her. She grinned back to him.

  “Let’s go eat breakfast.” He chuckled, sitting up and causing her to slide back a little. It left her in his lap, her chest pressed against his.

  “Are you sure you want to get out of bed right now?” Abigail asked, casually moving slightly to bring attention to his erection between her legs. She was more than willing to have a quickie before getting out of bed. She knew Antonio left so they could.

  Thomas replied by grinning and wrapping a hand around the back of her head and pulling her face close to his. She was trapped in his ice-blue eyes for a moment, and the spell was only broken by him moving to kiss her jawline, making a trail up to her ear.

  “Antonio will be so mad if I leave you sore for your date,” he growled, nipping her earlobe.

  “He’s a big boy.” She couldn’t think much more past that as Thomas held her in place, his other hand palming her ass. He pushed into her, forcing a moan out of her.

  “I also don’t really care if he gets mad.” Thomas chuckled. He flipped them over, so that she was on her back, and kept it slow. She wrapped her arms around his chest and held him and he leisurely pushed into her and pulled out, slow and steady like the surf, or the rising tide.

  They made it to breakfast before everything got cold. They had kept the sex quick, even if Thomas had done it slowly. He had pushed her over into bliss faster than she had anticipated and then followed her.

  “You two have fun?” Antonio asked innocently.

  “Why wouldn’t we? We were just slow getting out of bed, so I’m not sure what you’re talking about,” Abigail replied just as innocently, smiling. James laughed and pointed to her seat at the table. She took the order without complaint and they all settled in for breakfast.

  “Chris left last night,” Thomas announced without preamble, “and so did his friends. They’re also gone.”

  Abigail looked over at him and frowned.

  Antonio put his fork down with a clatter. “Thomas?” He sounded concerned.

  “He won’t be coming back,” Thomas sighed. “Ever.”

  “Why do you say that?” Abigail asked in a whisper. She knew there was trouble between the Alpha brothers, but Thomas never said much to her about it.

  “Due to the drama he seems to cause, particularly his recent attempt to overtake the Virginia Pack, if he comes back here, onto our territory, this Pack will hunt him,” Thomas continued, without giving any emotion. Abigail gasped, slowly moving a hand over her mouth. “He thought to use our connection to the Pride and the area not being under Heath’s control to hide himself and his friends from their sins. They could have brought serious trouble to us, gotten people hurt. Heath took the friends and is sending them back to Virginia.”

  “And Chris?” James this time, his voice hard.

  “He either joined this Pack and followed me, or he left. He didn’t want to follow an Alpha he hated, so he’s gone. I told him to never come back,” Thomas finished. “That’s why I was home so late.”

  “Oh, Thomas,” Abigail murmured, reaching out to him. They had just had a beautiful morning and she could see the hurt in his eyes. She had to tell him the truth though. “You did what you had to. You did what was needed to protect your Pack.”

  “I know,” Thomas said, nodding slowly. “You got one thing wrong. Our Pack. You’re part of that Pack. This isn’t just me. You three…he thinks our life is mediocre. He craves more - he always has. I wasn’t going to let him, and his schemes, destroy this.”

  “He’s your brother,” Antonio sighed. “He’ll come back.”

  Abigail was shocked by the honesty of the next words from her Alpha. No one else was, but she was.

  “Chris is not my brother,” he growled. “Not anymore. He made it clear that I’m not his family.”

  “You have us,” James said, still hard, unbending and unaffected.

  Abigail believed that James was probably happy to see Chris gone. Something about his entire posture was glad for it and he was trying to make Thomas the same way.

  “I do.” He sounded thankful. “I know it. I don’t think you’ll let me forget - and I told him the same. I have this, and I wouldn’t trade this for anything.”

  Abigail heard the words and smiled to herself. He wouldn’t trade this for anything, huh? That was important. She went back to her breakfast, feeling sad over Chris but also lighter. Thomas knew he had them, all of them.

  As breakfast was over, Antonio took her plate, letting her relax and digest the hearty breakfast one of them always made sure to make every morning. Eggs, bacon, hash browns. They always went all-out.

  “Be ready for a hike in an hour,” Antonio told her, grinning. “I’ll get everything else ready for our date.”

  “Oh goodness,” Abigail g
iggled. “A hike? To where?”

  “You like hiking. I want to take you somewhere. Don’t ruin the surprise,” Antonio commanded, sticking his tongue out childishly after he said it.

  She returned the gesture, sticking her own out and making a noise. It had her devolving into giggles and Antonio let out a loud laugh, doubling over.

  “I won’t ruin it,” she promised after they were both done laughing. Even James was chuckling as Thomas just shook his head in mock disappointment at them.

  She left the table to shower and get ready. By the time she was back out in the living room, Antonio was the only person left.

  “They went to the bar. Payroll day,” Antonio chuckled. He lifted a small bag. “You get this one. I’ll take the heavy one.”

  “There’s more than one?” Abigail took the bag and swung it over her shoulder.

  “Yeah, of course. Need to make sure I have enough of everything for both of us,” Antonio informed her. “I asked Andrew if he knew some good spots, but nothing was as good as this one that I found on a private run.”

  “You and James ask Andrew for a lot,” Abigail noted.

  “Yeah, James got recipes from him, I know. He laughed when I asked him about his hiking habit. Said he took Riley on a picnic once too.”

  “Is that what we’re having?”

  “Yeah,” Antonio answered nodding. “I figure, by the time we get there in human form, we’ll both be a little hungry again. Let’s go.”

  She followed him out to his truck and jumped in the passenger’s side. The ride was silent, just soft music playing, and Abigail watched Wild Junction fade away in the rearview mirror. They drove for nearly an hour and Abigail finally frowned.

  “Are we still in Pack territory?”

  “Yup, but only barely. The Colorado Pack doesn’t give us a hard time for running a little outside the bounds either. We don’t give them any trouble, so they let us roam a bit in their space,” Antonio explained. He turned them off the lonely highway and down a side road. Ten minutes later, they turned onto a dirt road. “This is going to get rough. We’ll be going until it ends.”