Stolen Dreams

by Christine Amsden

  “You okay?” Jane asked.

  “I-don’t know what I was thinking. I had a dream about you with a little girl and I thought she was yours. I’m sure you told me you only had the one, but it seemed so real.”

  “A dream?” Jane hesitated, then lowered her voice. “I’m pregnant again. The word’s not out yet, but I’m due in October.”

  “Oh.”

  “Why, was something wrong? I’ve always thought you had a powerful intuition.”

  “Maybe I do,” I said. The crushing weight of a few moments ago had gone, replaced with a renewed sense of purpose. I had years to figure out this dreaming thing, and now I had at least one specific motivation to succeed.

  29

  EVAN CAUGHT ME BEFORE LUNCH AS I was preparing a box full of food for Kaitlin. There were sandwiches, fruit, oatmeal cookies, carrots, and some quick snacks for later in the day–nuts, granola bars, and trail mix. Her milk had finally come in the day before, about thirty seconds before she gave up altogether, and it still wasn’t as abundant as she liked, so the box included a large supply of fenugreek. The herbal supplement would make her smell strongly of maple syrup, but it worked.

  “Where are you going?” Evan asked as he strode into the kitchen.

  “Taking this to Kaitlin.”

  “In a few minutes. We need to talk.”

  Undoubtedly talking would work better than the silent treatment, and there were some things we needed to straighten out. I felt more cheerful than I had of late, thanks in part to my final break with Alexander. I felt like I had a new lease on life, and a new purpose. Jane was having a baby and I would make sure it stayed safe. Kaitlin was struggling with new motherhood and I would help her get through it.

  “What’s going on?” I asked, taking a seat at the kitchen table and sliding the large box of care items to the floor.

  “Matthew wants you,” Evan said.

  “Excuse me?”

  “He’s determined to use your dreams, now that he knows about them, and nothing I can say will change his mind.”

  That wasn’t entirely unexpected, although… “How can he use the dreams when I can’t remember them? I might be willing to help him out; I’d at least like to hear more of what he has to say. You sent me home before I had a chance to do that yesterday.”

  Evan didn’t apologize for his heavy-handed tactics. “He wants to read your mind while you sleep.”

  “Huh.” I found myself intrigued, despite Evan’s glower and clear displeasure.

  “Don’t even think about it.”

  “Don’t tell me what to think.” I shot him an indignant look. “And while we’re on the subject, you had no right to force me to leave that meeting yesterday. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you; my only defense is that I hadn’t truly told myself, but that didn’t give you the right to pack me off home like an errant child.”

  “It’s my job to protect you.”

  “From what? The man wants to use me. I get that. Trust me, I’m used to it, but you’ve said yourself I can fight off mind magic.”

  “The man put a ring on your finger last year. Have you forgotten?”

  “My memory is very good, actually.” I held up my finger, now sporting a relatively simple gold wedding band. “No one’s going to get through this.”

  “No, but I still don’t trust him.”

  “Then why are you working with him? Or has he used his mind mojo on you?”

  Evan scowled, a look that told me he saw it as a real possibility. “He came to me last fall, in a vulnerable moment. You had just gone off with Alexander, but I had reason to hope you still loved me. He convinced me that Alexander is an evil man, that he might mean you harm, and that he had provoked those church members past their usual hatred.”

  “I think he did.” I remembered my conversation with Alexander, and after a moment’s hesitation, told Evan about it. There would be no more secrets between us.

  “You’re sure he didn’t have anything to do with Tyler?” Evan asked.

  “I am. I’m almost as sure that Matthew was right about him riling those people, but I doubt I’ll ever be able to prove it.”

  “Which is a big part of the reason Matthew is having trouble getting a foothold. He has a few different ideas; he wants to keep most of the power local, but a lot of what he wants to do sounds exactly like what Alexander is doing. So why go with Matthew?”

  Why indeed? To answer that question, I needed to talk to Matthew, and to do that, I needed to convince my husband that I could hold my own. I understood his desire to protect me; it was something I had known about him going into the marriage. For the most part I could deal with it. Sometimes it came in very handy, but it did go too far at times, suffocating me.

  “You will let me talk to him, won’t you?” I asked. “So I can make up my own mind?”

  “I’ll take you next week. He says he’s busy all weekend.”

  “No. I mean I want to go alone.”

  He gritted his teeth, but he nodded. I decided to consider it progress.

  “So, we’re going to have a little girl?” Evan asked after a tense few seconds.

  “Yes. And soon enough that people will be counting months on their fingers.”

  “Do people still do that?” Evan asked.

  “My mom claimed they did it to her, so who knows?”

  Evan opened his mouth to say something else, but before he had a chance, the doorbell rang. “Hang on,” he said instead, going to investigate.

  I waited for a minute or two, but curiosity got the better of me. The front door was wide open when I reached the foyer, and Evan was speaking animatedly to someone on the other side. I didn’t see who until I reached Evan’s side, at which point I froze. And so did my brother, Nicolas.

  “It’s true,” he said.

  All the color drained from my face. I had been dreading this moment for days, knowing it would come but pushing it back a day at a time, pretending it away. If I didn’t think about it, maybe it would never happen.

  “I’ve called every day, and you always pretend to be at the house with Kaitlin, but when I check in the evenings, you’re not there. Then I hear a rumor….”

  “Evan and I were married on Wednesday.” I held out my finger to show him the wedding band.

  I expected Nicolas to blow up with rage, maybe even taking the house with him. I expected him to bellow and bluster and threaten. I expected him to try to take me from Evan’s house and lock me in the castle until we could sort this out. I even half expected him to try to kill Evan.

  The reality however, was far, far worse than my expectations. Nicolas stood there for a long minute, staring at the ring, then his eyes flew to my pale face before flicking back to Evan.

  I waited, tensed for the explosion, but it didn’t come.

  “I see you’ve made your choice,” Nicolas said quietly.

  I started to protest, but he turned his back on me, very deliberately walking away.

  30

  NICOLAS’S PARTING WORDS HAUNTED ME OVER the next few days. I heard them over and over again, but not only in the echoing recesses of my own mind. I heard them from my mother, who broke into tears and demanded to know how I could do such a thing, after my father had sacrificed his life to protect me from the Blackwoods. I heard it from Juliana, after she suggested–and I refused–a divorce. I heard it from Isaac, who returned his birthday present from me unopened.

  I cried myself to sleep at night. At least I had Evan there to hold me; without him, life would have been truly unbearable. I tried to remember that blessing each day when I checked in on Kaitlin, and she complained endlessly about how lonely she felt.

  I saw Jason twice over the next week, each time peering in through the same window. I made it a point to distract Kaitlin’s attention both times, feeling that seeing him would only make matters worse. I wanted to tell him to leave her alone, but first I had to find a way to hold him, a feat that was proving more difficult than I first imagined. Oh, I knew how to m
ake the magic work. All I needed were a few spelled crystals, herbs, some ivy, and a bit of luck. It was trying to put all that together without Evan finding out that was causing me trouble.

  He and I had another fight on Monday, although it might be more accurate to call it an extension of our first fight. It started when I asked him to power the crystals.

  “Why?” came his sharp reply.

  In my new spirit of complete honesty, I told him the truth. “I want to trap Jason in a crystal prison until he tells me what’s going on.”

  “No.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “No.”

  “Look, I wasn’t exactly going to do this by myself. You’d be right there with me.”

  “No.”

  “Broken record much?”

  He didn’t even crack a smile. “I told you I’ll help Jason however I can, but the fact is that he’s involved with one of the deadliest creatures in the world and I don’t want you to go near that.”

  “We can’t help him if we don’t know what’s going on.”

  “I’ll try to find a way to talk to him but honestly Cassie, I’ve got a lot on my plate right now. Or have you forgotten about your father’s murderer, and the man who tried to kill you?”

  My face went a little pink. “I haven’t forgotten, I just can’t do anything about that. This, I can help with.”

  “No, you can’t. Don’t cross me on this.”

  “You’re not my boss.”

  “Maybe not, but you’re forcing me to be your keeper.”

  “Excuse me?” Upgrade cheeks to red.

  “Did you think I was going to stop trying to protect you when we got married?”

  “No, but I hoped you would at least listen to me.”

  “I have listened. Now it’s your turn to listen.” Evan gestured at the belt hugging my hips. “That won’t protect you from Xavier.”

  “I didn’t think it w–”

  “I wasn’t finished. You’ve had this invincibility complex going on ever since last fall when you saved Bethany from being burned at the stake. Now you strut around like you can’t be touched. You even fought me.”

  “You’d never have hurt me.”

  “I wouldn’t, no. But it’s not the point. You honestly thought you could win.”

  Upgrade cheeks to scarlet. “You’re so full of yourself!”

  “I’m being realistic. Are you?”

  Is there something past scarlet?

  “You’ve got a lot to offer,” Evan went on. “There’s a reason I asked you to help me find your father’s killer. I’ve pictured the future with the two of us working as a team.”

  “A team makes decisions together.”

  “A team should also recognize each other’s strengths and weaknesses. Don’t go off after Jason. I’ll do what I can for him, as soon as I can.”

  I gave him a mock salute. “Yes sir.”

  That night when I gave him the silent treatment, I decided to sleep in one of the guest rooms. He didn’t come after me.

  * * *

  Matthew returned from his secret fact-finding mission to Pennsylvania on Wednesday. At least, I assumed that was where he had gone and what he had been doing. Evan basically confirmed it for me that morning when he flinched at the possibility.

  I more than half expected Evan to insist on coming with me when I went on my visit, but he didn’t. It was a good thing too, because I still felt too raw from our last fight to handle another bout so soon.

  Matthew gestured me inside his living room when I arrived, ushering me to the same love seat I had used on my last visit. It felt awkward, being alone with him. I hadn’t been alone with him since a memorable night at the end of last summer, when he had proposed to me in this very room.

  Perhaps sensing my reserve, Matthew made a point of sitting as far from me as possible without leaving the living room.

  “I assume Evan told you about my offer?” he asked.

  “Yes.”

  “I’m surprised he let you come alone.”

  “He wasn’t happy about it.”

  “And you feel safe enough to come alone?” Matthew arched an eyebrow.

  I didn’t answer in words. I just thought about the day when I threw off his mental ambush, and let him read it from my mind.

  “You’ve done well,” he said. “I have to admit.”

  “Thank you. I think.”

  “Although if I wanted to, I could put you to sleep before you were even aware of it and take a peek at those dreams of yours.”

  “You could,” I said, “but it would be the last time. I think you’re looking for something a bit more long-term.”

  “Do you have something in mind?”

  “Maybe.” I cocked my head to the side and studied him. “I want to know what you’re doing first. What do you want, and how do you plan to make it happen?”

  “I’m glad you didn’t start with any tough questions.”

  It took me a moment to realize he was kidding. I smiled, weakly.

  “I see you’re still tense around me,” Matthew said. “I don’t blame you. Look, you’re the type of person who appreciates honesty, so I’ll give it to you as straight as I can. I want power.”

  “What kind of power?”

  “I told you last year that I was thinking about a political career that would take me as high as the White House.”

  “But you’ve changed your mind?”

  “Somewhat. I’ve always been more ambitious than the rest of my family. They’re mostly content to be the big fish in the little pond. That’s why my father is the mayor instead of say, the governor. He could have done it, but he’s happy ruling over the town he calls home. His sister is happy as a judge here. Their mother, my grandmother–I know you didn’t like her but she protected the family–believed we were better off keeping to ourselves.”

  “What did she think about you wanting to become president?” I couldn’t help but ask.

  “Not much. She knew she would die before I traveled far enough down that road for her to know whether it would work out.”

  “But now you don’t want to go down that road?”

  “Now I’ve decided I want a different kind of power. The kind that I think will be more important in the long run. I want to be a part of building something that will endure.”

  “Pretty words.”

  “Aren’t they? I’ve been working on my one-liners.”

  “You should definitely hold onto your speech writer.”

  “I’ll let my mom know you said so.”

  I admit, I was surprised. His mother was one of those women I liked to call invisible, so people tended to underestimate her. Apparently, I was one of those people.

  “Your mom is a drained woman,” I said, remembering something else I needed to bring up with him. “What do you think about that?”

  “I think it shouldn’t have happened. I definitely want to try to make sure things like that stop happening.”

  Was it the truth, or was he just saying what he knew I wanted to hear?

  “One thing Alexander doesn’t seem to be in a hurry to do is hold elections,” Matthew said. “Oh, on the local level he supports the idea, but he’s comfortable at the top. That’s the first thing I’m going to try to change.”

  “How?”

  “By gathering my own supporters. He doesn’t have the whole country yet. He’s gotten to most of the major cities, but a lot of the most powerful sorcerers live in the country.”

  “And like to be left alone,” I pointed out.

  “Maybe. But they’re not going to have that choice for much longer, if Alexander has his way. I’m giving them options.”

  “You’ll have to be careful how you approach them.”

  “Exactly, which is where you come in.”

  “Ah yes,” I said.

  “What do you think?”

  I thought a lot of things. I didn’t completely trust Matthew and probably never would, not after what he had done to me�
��the same thing Alexander had done, as a matter of fact. I also believed that Alexander had used mind magic on the citizens of Eagle Rock last fall. Whether or not Matthew would ever stoop to the same level, I had no idea. But he was straightforward about his goals and ambitions, something I respected, and Evan was willing to give him a chance as long as he was in his inner circle.

  I wanted to give Matthew that chance too, partly for Evan, partly because I had glimpsed something good inside Matthew (and I was beginning to trust my own intuition), and partly for a selfish reason of my own. There was something I wanted from Matthew, something only he could give me.

  “I won’t let you read my mind while I sleep,” I began. “Way too intimate, and I don’t trust you that far.”

  “But you have an idea.”

  “An exchange.” I paused, making sure I had his full attention. “Last year you cast a spell on me, allowing me to read your mind. I want that spell.”

  His eyes widened. “That is a serious bit of magic you want me to give away. I assume you plan to make it worth my while?”

  “I won’t let you read my mind while I sleep, but I’ll let Evan do it, with that spell.” I hoped that Evan could also help me with my block, something I didn’t think Matthew could or would do for me. “In exchange, we’ll see for you for the next year.”

  “Only a year?” Matthew shook his head. I had expected it. This was where the negotiations began. “I need a permanent seer.”

  “I could become that if I like what you’re doing.” I intended to make sure I liked what he was doing. “But I won’t enslave myself to you forever. At the end of a year, we’ll have to renegotiate.”

  “It may take you a year to figure out how to use your gift,” Matthew said. “Maybe even longer. My grandmother described being completely overwhelmed by visions when she was younger. As a teenager, she took an entire year off of school. This isn’t something you’re just going to be able to do tonight.”

  I hadn’t really realized that, but I should have. “So what do you have in mind, then?”

  “I’ll take a year of your visions, but the year doesn’t start until you develop control.”