The Possibility of Perfect (A Stand By Me Novel Book 4)

by Brinda Berry

“I was talking to you. How you doing?” He smells of beer and cigarettes.

  “I'm with a friend.” I steel myself not to bolt when he inches closer.

  “I don't see a friend.” He sticks his free hand in the belt of his jeans. Gah. That shiny belt buckle might be seen from outer space. Dropping his cigarette on the ground, he rubs his boot over it. My gaze travels up to his face.

  He stares at me and I break eye contact first. I notice a little tattoo of a dagger on his neck.

  “He's grabbing our car,” I say. “So I won’t have to walk in these heels.” I’m nervous, and I need to stop myself from talking to him.

  Don’t let him see you sweat.

  “It won’t hurt anything to have a drink with us.” He glances to the group he’s with. As if sensing our conversation, several turn and look at me. The guy in front of me looks twice my age. He has no business trying to pick me up, but I’m sure I look older tonight. I'm wearing more makeup than I usually do.

  What an epic, asinine mistake I’ve made.

  “Want to party?” He’s persistent. On his T-shirt he wears has a brown stain of something I guess is tobacco juice.

  “I'm not interested.” Come on, Dane. Where are you?

  The guy throws a casual arm over my shoulders and my lungs catch, unable to continue their job. In that split second between my heart banging against my ribs and my legs quivering, the flash of a body appears from my peripheral vision.

  “It’ll be hard to hold a beer with a broken arm.” The deep voice radiates with authority. Dane.

  I’m so relieved I could cry. It takes only a second for my muscles to wake up from their stupor and I step out from under the guy.

  “I’m ready to go.”

  I meet Dane's eyes and I see how pissed he is. Is he mad at me? But then he directs that glare at the drunk guy.

  Dane may be in high school, but people rarely guess it. He’s tall and broad-chested, a natural born football player.

  Our school coach jokes about Dane carrying pigskin when he left the womb. He’s also as cocky as all get out and will likely start a fight with Cigarette Man.

  “It’s fine, Dane. Let's go.” I grab his hand and tug. He hesitates for only a second, and I feel the shift in his attention. He releases my hand and places it in the small of my back. Comfort and safety flow into my body.

  “I circled the block once,” Dane says. “Didn’t you see me?”

  “Sorry. Guess I was distracted.”

  He steers me right at the end of the block. “I parked over there,” he says and points. “Are you really okay?”

  I feel the burn of tears behind my eyelids. I inhale deeply and smile. “‘Course I am. Thanks for coming to get me.”

  We walk in silence the remaining feet to the car. He opens the door to the Lexus. Once inside, I sag against the leather seats.

  “I hope I didn’t interrupt your Saturday night.” I glance across and Dane shrugs. “How’d you get here so fast? What were you doing tonight?”

  He’s dressed up. Nice jeans, collared shirt, and some yummy cologne.

  “Nothing,” he grunts.

  “Your clothes say different.”

  “I was on a date with Alanna. A boring date at a play. After you called, she said she’d catch a ride home with Melissa and Joe. What were you doing?” He divides his attention between the road and my face. “Why are you alone?”

  Alanna. Figures. Why did I even ask? “I was just out having fun with Liz.”

  “Having fun?” he growls. “How did you get in any of these places? And where is Liz now?” His voice is clipped and his volume louder with each question.

  I’m surprised that he’s so angry. It’s not my fault that tonight went terribly wrong. “Liz and I were in some bar and she saw the guy that she knows. He was her neighbor or something. And she's had a crush on him forever and then he went to college and –”

  “That bitch left you on your own.”

  “I told her I was fine. I was going to get a cab, but I went to the bathroom first. I accidentally left my purse in there, and it was gone when I went back for it.”

  “You looked scared when I found you. You should be. Those guys were drunk. Do you know what could happen to you? God, Josie. You drive me crazy. I should have beat the shit out of him.”

  We drive for five whole minutes in silence, my anger rising with each second at his scolding. I’m not an idiot. “I’m sorry I ruined your date. I should've called Leo.”

  “Are you fucking kidding me? I don’t care about my date. Fuck my date. I care about you. Don’t you watch the news? Don’t you know how guys think? Drunk guys see a hot girl like you and they plan how to get laid. That’s why guys hang out in the bar. They’re not out there to have fun with their buddies and go home alone. They’re all hoping for a good fuck.”

  Even Leo wouldn’t give me this lecture. I’d be able to tell my brother that I made a mistake. A mistake because I’m lonely and bored. He’d understand.

  I’d die of embarrassment before I’d say this to Dane. “Stop the car.” The words come out in a croak. I can’t see through the tears filling my eyes.

  “What?”

  “I said stop the car.” I point at the next building in sight. “There, at that convenience store. I’ll call Leo to come get me. I’d rather—”

  Dane pulls into the parking lot and hot tears drop down my face. Perfect. He’s going to drop me here and this proves he doesn’t care about me one iota. I grab the door handle, frantically jerking it.

  He grabs me with strong hands. “Wait. I’m sorry. Come here. Please,” he says and pulls me against his body. “I wigged out at that old guy with his arm around you.”

  His arms around me feel like heaven. Like heaven with a cherry on top. I surrender to him, putting my hands around him. The console separates our bodies more than I want.

  I sniffle, my nose already clogged from the tears. “I feel so stupid. Going out with a fake ID and Liz was a stupid idea. I never do stuff like this, but I need to have fun. I need to get out of my head.”

  He rocks me in his arms. “I know. I feel like that sometimes, too. Like I need to get away from people who look at me and expect me to be certain things. I get it. You wanted to have fun. Next time, call me. I’ll go with you. Leo can be fun. He and I can go out with you. And Alanna if you want another girl along.”

  Like a bucket of cold water, he had to go and mention her.

  I sit back and wipe my hands over my cheeks. Mascara stains the skin over my fingers. “Yeah. Sure,” I say with an upturn of my lips. “Right. I know.”

  “You know you’re like a sister to me. Let me look out for you. That’s what best friends do.”

  “We’ll go out soon. Thanks. I think I need to get home now. Okay?”

  “I’ll always be there for you.” He tips my chin toward him with one finger. “No matter what, you’re my Butterfly.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  Taking Care of Josie

  Dane

  August

  “Where’s your mom and dad?" Josie asks as she leads the way through my parents’ dark family room.

  “Looks like they're not home.” I smile innocently.

  She stops at the French doors leading out to the pool area. “You tricked me," she says.

  “I never said they would be home. I only asked if you wanted to swim today. You simply assumed.”

  She makes a tsking sound and narrows her eyes at me. “Yes, and I know better than to assume. Because as our seventh-grade teacher said, assuming makes an ass out of you and me. More you…but I guess I can’t hold you totally responsible for my trusting nature.”

  I place my hand at the small of her back as we walk onto the patio. She’s right about me being an ass because I’ll be staring at hers all day.

  “Well, well.” I draw out each word as if I’ve made the discovery of the century. “Not afraid to be alone with me, are you? I know it will be pretty tempting with both of us nearly naked, but I
get the feeling you’ll manage.”

  “I resisted you almost my entire life…except for a couple of weak moments. Don’t underestimate me.”

  Stepping onto the bricked patio, I look around at the expanse of my parents’ back lawn—an oasis of greenery and happy memories. I had that ideal childhood here, complete with treehouse and jungle gym. Those things disappeared when my folks installed an in-ground pool.

  Thinking about my own back yard, I make a mental note about what a kid needs—certainly not the barren thing I currently have at my house. I shake it off because today is a good day with me and Josie, alone and relaxed.

  I casually rest my hand on Josie’s shoulder. “My folks are out of town. They drove over to Gatlinburg. You know how Mom loves it there. It would be a shame not to take advantage of the pool on a beautiful day like today. Plus you work too hard. You need a day of R & R.”

  “Mmm,” she responds, noncommittally. But I can tell she’s happy to be here by the slight smile on her lips. “I guess I might.”

  We pass the large outdoor kitchen area, complete with grill and a flat-screen television. Leaving the shade of a pergola, I lift my face to the sun and flip my sunglasses to perch on top of my head.

  When I open my eyes, I catch Josie staring. “What?”

  “Nothing,” she mutters. “Are we staying at the shallow end? If I lie in that chair, I’m going to fall asleep.”

  “Sit here,” I say, pointing to a chaise lounge.

  For once, she doesn’t argue. Dropping her beach bag on the ground, she grabs the bottom of the white lace tank dress and pulls it over her head. Josie wears a pink bikini underneath.

  The sight of her curves sends electric zings of sexual awareness through me. Full breasts and ass, lush like she’s never had in the past, assault me. I’ve always been crazy about Josie’s body—that tight body a girl gets from swimming and running.

  But now…her round five-months-pregnant belly, a perfect cocoon for a new life, is maybe the most perfect thing I’ve ever seen. I don’t know what I expected today. But I didn’t expect the air to be punched from my lungs every time I look at her. Damn.

  She fiddles with her bikini top as if suddenly realizing she spills out of it. She doesn’t have a clue how delicious it is or she wouldn’t be flaunting that shit. “This is the body of a pregnant woman,” she mutters. “Get over it.”

  “God, you’re beautiful.” The words sound raw to my own ears.

  Her head lifts slowly and our eyes lock. We stare at each other as if caught in some time warp where the world freezes, narrowing down to this moment.

  Finally, she glances away with a flush on her cheeks, and I can’t blame her. All my idiot male feelings of want and possession must be evident. The woman came over to swim. Rein it in, cowboy.

  “This lounge chair, then. Looks like a great place for a nap.” She sits and stretches tanned legs in front of her. “Harper working out as a manager?” she asks.

  I know she’s trying to put the focus on anything but the two of us. “She’s great. Smart, level-headed, calm. Exactly the person I needed. And what about what’s-his-name?”

  “Webb,” she corrects. “And you know his name, so quit doing that. He’s covering for me today and it’s a good thing. I know you are still mad that I went into a partnership with him, but he’s really made it so I don’t have to worry.”

  “Good,” I say and dampen the jealousy I know bleeds out with the one word.

  “Yes, it’s good.”

  “Maybe that guy can make himself useful by taking over the store more often.”

  Josie grabs a bottle of sunscreen from her bag and flips up the lid. “Sure. Webb –”

  I cut her off. “What if we don’t talk about him today.” Seems every time we discussed Webb we get into an argument. In different circumstances, he might be all right. But I don’t trust him with my girl.

  “Okay. Going to be a long day if you stop me every time I bring up the topic.”

  “Scoot up and lean forward," I command. “Let me rub some sunscreen on you so you won’t burn.”

  I swing a leg behind her so I can sit on the lounger. She throws a distrustful glance at me. "We're here alone, you're rubbing lotion on me, and you’re talking to me with your sexy voice.”

  “I don’t own a sexy voice.” My lips curve up at her compliment. It’s about damn time I started getting through to her. If I thought a little massage and sexy talk would work today, I'd give it a shot. Just maybe, there’s something to her words…a secret desire. “Talk to me like you used to. Tell me about the book you’re reading.”

  “A historical romance. I’ve learned more about the French Revolution than I ever wanted to know.”

  I massage sunscreen into her shoulders and press lightly down her back, allowing myself to feel the dip between her shoulders before pausing at the clip of her bikini top.

  “We’ll be alone all day, Butterfly. You don’t have to wear your top.”

  “Nice try,” she murmurs. “Don't forget to put some lotion below my straps.”

  “I’ll make sure to get every inch –”

  “Oh,” she gasps. “The baby’s really kicking today.”

  "Now?" I ask. “Where? Can I feel?”

  “Of course. Give me your hand.”

  I skate my slick fingers around to the front of her belly. Anticipation, the kind of wonder as a kid when you held a wriggling puppy for the first time, sends adrenaline soaring through me.

  “There. You feel that?”

  My heart races as a ripple of movement tickles my palm. “What is that? His foot?”

  She shrugs and glances back at me. “I have no idea.”

  But I just know my little kicker is in there saying hello to me. I take a deep breath before my next words so my words will come out steady. “Does he move every day?”

  She nods. “Yeah. Most every day.”

  “This,” I say with emphasis. “This is why I want to spend more time with you. Do you realize how much I miss out on? You take it for granted that you experience all these little miracles, but I don’t. Every time you show me something new, I’m regretting all the times I’m not around.”

  “You’ve been with me every Sunday.” The guilt in her voice is clear.

  “I want to be with you every day.”

  “And how is that possible?” She guides my hand to the other side of her belly were another flutter hits my palm again.

  “You let me be a real part of your life. Not once a week, or random events. Every day. A schedule where you let me in and believe we can be a couple. We skipped from platonic buddies straight to lovers and now back to buddies. I’m going to change the way you look at us. I want to share our lives on a daily basis, every part of it.”

  I massage her shoulders and earn a satisfying groan.

  “You’re so sneaky,” she murmurs. “It’s manipulative to use your hands to get what you want. Oh yeah. Right there.”

  Since I’m seated at her back, I can't see her face. But I hear the smile in her words. Her voice is slow. Lazy. Happy.

  “Baby, I’m not done with you yet,” I say, aware that my voice has gone all husky on her. So much for keeping my libido under wraps. I jerk my T-shirt over my head. “Sit up so I can do the front.”

  I squeeze sunscreen into my palm and smooth it across her chest. My movements are slow and deliberate. Not carnal, yet. I have no shame because my obvious hard-on must be poking her in the back.

  Coconut and sexy Josie. I’d have better luck stopping a speeding bullet than my arousal. I'm not sure why I'm torturing myself. “You won't do it for yourself, do it for the baby. You told me the baby knows about his surroundings. Everything that goes on and your emotions. I want him inside there listening to my voice and knowing I’m around. Please, Butterfly.”

  “You’re a master at Guilt 101. Stop massaging for a minute so I can think.” She grabs my hands to make her point, so I lift them from her sun-warm skin.

  “So, you
like, huh? I could do this every night. Like a bedtime story.” I smile and grab the sunscreen bottle with one hand. Squeezing a generous dollop into my other hand, I hold it out in front of her so she’ll know I’m not finished with her. “You know we can be good together. Give us a chance.”

  “I'm really glad you want to be there for me, for the baby," she says in a low husky voice. There's a catch in her voice that worries me.

  “My dad,” she says, “He was a good dad. But he was never at home. And before you say anything about his job, I know he had to be gone a lot. Airline pilots don’t have a choice. But my mom was lonely. And Leo and I missed him so much. Every time he would come in for a weekend, it was like Christmas for us. He’d bring gifts from his travels, and he would lavish attention on all three of us. It was so temporary, though. And sad because he always left again.”

  Funny how you look at a family as an outsider and never see the moments inside their daily lives. I'd spent as much time with the Jensens as anyone could. Some days I practically felt like one of their kids. But she's right. Josie’s dad wasn't around a lot.

  She drops her hands onto my knees. Her hands feel so good on my bare skin. “As much as I loved my dad, I need a guy who gives me one hundred percent of himself.”

  “I can be there for you. The guy who is there 24/7. ” I murmur against the back of her neck. Her head drops forward.

  “Dane, I know you want to take care of things. It’s the kind of guy you are.”

  “You think I’m with you today because I feel responsible for you? There’s a lot more going on between us than a need to be a daddy for this unborn child.” I slide slick hands around her body in a pretense of putting more lotion on her. The pretense I should give up. My hands skate over the tops of her breasts.

  The privacy fence around my parents’ pool area is tall, and there are no neighbors to speak of. At this point, I’m not sure that would really matter to me.

  Take a chance, man. She’s worth any amount of risk. Taking one hand, I pull the string tied around her neck. The flimsy material falls away.

  Her body melts like hot candle wax, molding against me. I close my eyes as I rub the other palm over her hard nipples. God, she feels good.