Merman's Kiss (Merman's Kiss, Book 1)
Page 13
“Yes.”
He would have gone into the salt water by now. I don’t know what to do. What if he cries out like a dying whale? I would rush him to the pool ASAP. Mom would know everything. I need to find a way to get him to the ocean. But how can I with so many people around?
“What is the matter?” Damarian asks. I realize my eyebrows are scrunched.
“I’m just thinking.”
He places his hands on my shoulders and looks into my eyes. “Please do not fret.”
I need to. I feel responsible for him. After all, this is my world. He’s been on land for quite a bit, but he’s still an alien. His safety depends on me.
An idea flashes in my mind. I sit up. “We can take a boat and ride deep into the ocean where no one else is around. No people, no boats.”
Relief washes over his features. “Are you certain it will be safe for you to be so far out in the sea?”
Maybe. I don’t know. But I’m not thinking about me. Damarian’s health is my priority right now. “I don’t have a lot of experience in sailing, but we’ll be okay.”
He nods.
A few silent seconds tick by. I hug my knees to my chest and lay my chin on them. This will cause a major shift in our relationship. We’ve both grown so used to Damarian changing in my house. It became his second home. But now…
What if I won’t be able to see him again?
“When are we to head to sea?” he asks.
I notice his face is a little pale, and I jump to my feet. “You’re feeling sick?”
“A bit.”
“Come.” I take his hand. “Let’s go.”
When I open the door to my room, I get a whiff of the smell of pancakes coming from the kitchen. Guilt chokes my throat. Mom’s making breakfast. She’s not one to cook a lot, especially breakfast. This must be a special treat for me and Damarian.
He breathes in the aroma. “The smell is divine.”
“My mom’s making breakfast. Pancakes.”
He nods.
We’re about to head down the steps, but then I realize we’re still dressed in pajamas. “Oh.” I gesture toward his outfit. “It might be a good idea to change.”
He returns to his room and I go to mine. I change into a T-shirt and jeans as fast as possible. I don’t know how long Damarian has left. I’m not sure what causes his need to change. There doesn’t seem to be a pattern. My guess is a lot has to do with the temperature and what’s going on in his body. It could be a million factors.
We meet at the foot of the steps and climb down. Mom’s standing over the stove, wearing an apron. She only makes pancakes on special occasions, like birthdays and holidays. I remember sitting on the counter as a little girl and marveling at how the pancakes were made. Seeing my mom like that brings me back to that time, when my dad was around. When we were still a family.
I blink the memories away and step inside.
“Hey, kids,” Mom greets.
“You’re making breakfast.”
“Yes, I am.” She smiles.
I glance at Damarian. “Um…Damian needs to run. Family emergency.” I peer closely at him to see if he’s getting worse, but he seems to be fine. Unless he’s fighting it.
Mom’s face falls. “I thought we can eat together. Catch up. Get to know one another.”
“I am afraid I must take my leave.”
Mom lays the spatula on the counter and moves closer to Damarian. “Where are you from? I’m trying to pinpoint your accent.”
His eyes flit to mine, all flustered. I tug on his hand, leading him to the door. “We’ll talk later. Okay, Mom? We really need to run.”
As soon as the door shuts after us, I say to Damarian, “We need to work on your speech.”
“I agree.”
I smile and squeeze his hand. That means he still wants to see me. We’ll figure something out. We need to.
I bring him to the marina, where we meet up with Leah’s cousin, Ian. He rents us a boat for half price. I help Damarian inside, then start the engine. After a few minutes of sailing, Damarian bends over the side of the boat to sweep his hand through the water, but I yell, “No, don’t!” I’m not sure how much salt water needs to touch him before he’ll change into a merman. We’re still in public.
Damarian jumps back. “Forgive me. I have forgotten. The sea calls for me.”
“It’s okay. We’re almost there.”
I take us as far away as possible. I’m freaking out because I have no idea what lurks here. There could be sharks and whales and who knows what. But it calms me to know Damarian will be safe here.
He’s leaning over the side of the boat, his eyes mesmerized by the water. I tap his thigh. “Feeling okay?”
“I feel a bit ill.”
When I think we’re far enough, I kill the engine. I scan the area to make sure no boats are in the distance. I don’t see any around, but that doesn’t mean they won’t show up, though. I face Damarian. “Are you ready?”
His face is paler than before. His knees tremble. He brings a shaky hand to my cheek. “I do not wish to part with you.”
I rest my hand on his. “We won’t stay apart for too long. We’ll figure something out. But you need to get into the ocean first.”
He nods reluctantly. I check the area one more time to make sure no one’s around, then nod. Damarian leans forward and closes his mouth over mine. I grab onto him, yanking him to my chest. He loses his balance and we crash to the floor of the boat. Our lips continue to push against each other, melting into one. It’s like we’re putting everything we have into this kiss because we’re not sure when the next one will be.
When he pulls back, he buries his face in my hair and inhales. “I shall miss you, Cassie. Very much.”
I clutch him. “Me, too.”
He presses his lips to my temple. “I love you.”
Hearing those words makes my heart thump. I feel it all over, as if his love touches every part of me, body and soul.
“I love you, too,” I whisper.
“Meet me tonight,” he murmurs, his lips grazing my ear. “At the rocks. I will wait for you.”
My clutch on him tightens. “I’ll be there.”
He pulls back and gazes into my eyes. “I cannot bear to live without you.”
I slide both my hands into his. “I feel the exact same way. Tonight?”
“Yes.”
He looks at the water. Then he takes my hand and presses the back of my fingers to his lips. I feel his tongue tickling my knuckles, and it ignites a flame inside me.
He drops my hand and gets to his feet. The boat sways a bit. He glances at me for a second before raising his arms and diving into the ocean. The water splashes into the boat and onto me. A puddle forms at my feet, drenching my sneakers.
I look over the side of the boat and find the water bubbling, as if it’s cooking. I want to reach down there, to feel him.
A second later, his fin protrudes out of the water. He quickly pulls it in, and then his head pops up in its place.
I stretch my hand toward him. He stretches his webbed one. When our hands connect, I feel whole again. He lifts his hand and runs it up my arm, making goose bumps appear all over me.
“I shall see you tonight,” he says.
I nod. “Enjoy your time with your family.”
“Yes, thank you.”
He drops his hand and makes a move, but then he whips back around and rests my palm against his cheek. “Parting with you is so difficult.”
A lump bigger than the boat lodges in my throat. Tears prick my eyes. “I know, but we’ll see each other soon.”
I may be wrong, but I think I see tears in his eyes. I bend over the boat and kiss the top of his head. “Don’t go meeting other human girls,” I joke.
A small smile forces its way onto his face. “Never. I do not wish to be with anyone but you.”
That causes the tears I was battling to rush down my cheeks. He wipes them away with his finger. Then he touches
his own tears. He brings his hands together, mixing our tears. “I am only a sea away.”
I smile sadly. “Bye, Damarian.”
“Goodbye.”
He turns around, then looks back at me. We gaze at each other until he dives into the ocean. I see his backside and tail before he disappears for good.
The tears come in full force. I wipe them away, feeling like an idiot for crying like this. I guess this is what being in love feels like. That you can’t bear to be apart, not even for a few hours. It creates a deep hole in your heart, and nothing can fill it. Absolutely nothing. Only the arms and heart of the special one.
My eyes examine the surface of the water. It’s calm. No sign of movement.
I start the engine and head back to shore. Ian asks me if I’m okay. I must look pretty messed up. I nod and somehow make it back home. A stack of pancakes sits on the kitchen table. Mom’s leafing through a magazine, sipping coffee.
When she sees me, she says, “Where did you find him? He’s gorgeous.” But then she takes one look at me and her expression changes. She stands and envelops me in her arms. I sob onto her shoulder, and I don’t even know why. A whirlwind of emotions race through me. I’m so glad Mom’s home—I miss being in her arms.
My heart hurts from parting with Damarian, but there’s also a sense of calm because I know we didn’t say goodbye for good. I will see him tonight. But as much as I try to ignore it, something lurks underneath, something that’s been worrying me ever since I started having feelings for him. That he and I could never be. I’ve always pushed it aside, told myself it didn’t matter as long as we wanted to be together, but who am I kidding? I can never be with him. It’s naturally impossible.
I don’t know if I can stand getting my heart broken again. But I don’t know if I can stand being away from him, either.
Mom rubs my back. “Oh, honey. What’s wrong?”
“I don’t know.” I pull back and wipe my face with my shirtsleeve.
“Did he break up with you?”
I shake my head, swatting more tears that drip down my cheeks.
“Then what’s wrong?”
“I really like him, Mom. Like really, really.” I bite down on my lower lip. “I’m so scared.”
Mom twirls a strand of my hair that’s hanging in front of my eye. “Relationships can be very scary. But they are so, so worth it.”
I study her. This is coming from a woman who’s had her heart ripped out her of chest and crushed into a million pieces. The same woman who hardly spoke about my dad after he left and who’s avoided the topic of relationships until this point. “You still believe in love?” I ask. “I mean, after what Dad did—”
“Honey, you can’t let one mistake ruin your life. I don’t regret meeting your dad. For starters, you wouldn’t be here, and I wouldn’t trade you for anything. And two, everything happens for a reason. I learned a lot about myself and what I need in a relationship.”
I drop down on one of the chairs and stare at my nails. My father leaving my mom affects her more than she lets on. “You don’t go out,” I say.
She walks over to the fridge. “I’m thirsty. Do you want orange juice?”
I watch her bustling around the cabinets in search for a glass cup. She’s pushing me to pursue a relationship with my dad when it hurts her. She knows having my father in my life will be to my benefit. She and I are not as different as I thought. She deserves to run off and live the life she’s always dreamed of. She doesn’t need to sacrifice for me anymore.
“When will Damian return?” she asks from the counter.
I chew on my thumbnail. “I don’t know.”
She turns around and leans back, the glass of orange juice poised at her lips. “I didn’t get a chance to know him, but I can tell he’s the right guy for you.”
I stare at her. “How do you know?”
She takes a sip from her orange juice. “The way he looks at you. The chemistry I see between the two of you. It’s obvious he cares deeply about you. Unlike Kyle.”
I feel my defense shield rising. “You’re saying Kyle never cared about me?”
“I’m saying he had a crappy way of showing it.”
Anger fills me. Not at my mom or Kyle, but at myself. I thought Kyle was the perfect guy for me and treated me well. But Leah and Mom don’t seem to agree. I must have a lousy taste in men. Which means what exactly in regard to Damarian?
Merman, a voice says in my head.
“But Damian,” Mom continues. “Now he’s a catch. Where did you meet him?”
“At the beach,” I mutter absentmindedly. She doesn’t know how true her words are—that he literally can be caught. “Mom?”
“Yeah, honey?”
“What if I told you Damian was…different?”
She arches an eyebrow. “Different?”
“Yeah. Not like everyone else.”
She eyes me closely. “What are you trying to tell me?”
My body fills with fear and dread. I’ve said too much. I can’t have Mom prying. I can’t betray Damarian.
“Never mind.” I get to my feet. “My class will start soon.”
“Let’s go out tonight,” she says. “Maybe catch a movie.”
I smile. “Okay.”
***
I devour my strawberry mango smoothie.
“He’s back in the ocean?” Leah whispers.
The high school guy sitting next to me at the counter asks her for a refill. She nods impatiently, then turns her attention back to me. “I don’t understand how you can live with that.” She shakes her head. “He is hot, though.”
I slap her arm.
She laughs. “Just kidding. Seriously, though, how are you doing?”
I play with my straw, my gaze on the cup’s lid. “It’s killing me. But I’m glad he gets to go home and see his family. I’m really happy about that.” I lean in close and say, “I’m so worried someone will see him. It’s almost like…” I sigh. “Like I’m being selfish by wanting him to come back.”
I place my elbows on the counter and rake my fingers through my hair. I rest my forehead against my palm. “If he gets caught, it’s over. His whole life is ruined, not to mention the lives of all…his kind.”
“I’m still waiting for my refill,” the high school guy says.
Leah quickly refills his cup, then bends closer to me. “What’s life if there’s no risk? Damarian knows what he’s doing. He wouldn’t do it if he didn’t want you.”
“He said he loves me.”
“Oh my God! Did you say it back? Do you love him?”
I shut my eyes for a second and nod. “This feels like a warped version of Romeo and Juliet. My life should be called Romarian and Cassilette.”
Leah bursts out laughing. “But Romeo and Juliet is like one of the best romances ever.”
I cock an eyebrow. “You do know how their story ends, right?”
She rolls her eyes. “Shakespeare is fiction.”
“And my life’s a fairytail. Mind you, that’s fairytail with a t-a-i-l.”
Leah laughs again. “You’re funny when you’re grumpy.” She glances at the guy. “Are you trying to eavesdrop on our conversation?”
He gives her a cheeky grin. “Nope. You girls aren’t making it easy. I can’t seem to take my eyes off you, though.”
She groans. “Pay for your smoothie and get the hell out of here.”
He drops a folded piece of paper and winks. “Call me.”
He’s gone, and Leah groans again, tossing the paper into the trash. “My love life has reached rock bottom if a high school kid is hitting on me.”
“Are things not working with Jace? How was your date?”
She shrugs. “A little awkward. We don’t have a lot in common.”
I sip my smoothie. “Give him a chance. You never know, right? Look at me. I’m dating a fish.”
Her lips lift. “Yeah. You’re making out with a creature that lives in the ocean. And I thought I have proble
ms.”
I slap her shoulder.
“You must miss him like crazy. You can’t even call or text to see how he’s doing.”
I don’t want to think how true that is. Anything could happen to him during his trips between land and sea. He’s not meant to come to the shore. What if he gets caught in a fisherman’s net? My chest aches at the thought. If something were to happen to him…
“I’m meeting him tonight at the beach,” I tell Leah.
She nods. “That’s good.”
My throat is dry. “Except for the fact that the beach is a public place and anyone can drop by.”
“Who’d be nuts enough to go to the beach at three o’clock in the morning?”
“Other than drunks? A girl who’s meeting a merman?”
She points at me and grins. “Exactly.”
I check my watch. “Mom wants to go shopping. She claims that since I have a guy now, I’m in desperate need of new clothes.” I shrug. “But I’m really glad she’s back and we can spend time together. At the same time…I sort of want her to leave so that I can spend time with Damarian. Does that make me selfish?”
Leah takes the orders of a group of middle-aged women who just walked in. When her focus is back on me, she says, “Hey, choosing between a hot merman and your mom? I think that answer is obvious.” She lays her hand on mine. “You’re an adult now. It’s time to live your life. It’s okay to go after what you want.”
I nod and get up. “But I still want to spend time with my mom, too. Good luck with Jace. Give him a chance, okay?”
She salutes me. “Yes, ma’am.”
As soon as I leave the smoothie shop, my eyes immediately sprint toward the ocean, as if I’ll see Damarian. But I only see the many people swimming around. I glance at my watch. Only a few more hours until we’re together again.
Chapter Sixteen
He’s late.
I pace around on the rocks, although there’s not a lot of room for pacing, not to mention it’s dangerous. I press the button on my watch. 4:29.
After Mom and I returned from shopping, I took a shower and went straight to bed. I want to be wide awake when I see Damarian. But what if he doesn’t show? What if he ditched me?
Or worse—what if he got caught?