by Dee J. Stone
I take out my phone and go online. I do a search for breaking news about mermaids, but I don’t find anything. My fingers plow through my hair. If every one of our meetings will stress me out like this, I don’t know if I can take it.
Squinting at the ocean, I don’t see any crystals, only the dark water. I collapse on the rocks and bury my face in my knees. I think I might die from worrying.
I must have dozed off, because the next thing I hear is splashing. Looking over the rocks, I nearly leap into the ocean. He’s here. He’s actually here.
I grab the bag I brought with me and race down the rocks. Damarian is still in the ocean. I bop up and down on the sand as I watch him swim closer. The moonlight reflects off his tail, illuminating his face. “Damarian!” I call.
Mid-swim, his head springs up. He waves and swims faster. As soon as he reaches the shore, I grab his hands and pull him onto the sand. Then we fall into each other’s arms.
His hand closes over the back of my neck and he pulls my mouth to his. Our lips open and close over each other’s. Every inch of me is on fire. I crawl on top of him and press his body into the sand as my mouth devours his. I feel the stickiness of his tail beneath my legs, and that’s when I’m yanked back to reality.
I climb off him and grab my bag. “I got a blanket to cover you.” I move my head right and left, my eyes searching the area. No one’s around. I unfold the blanket and throw it over him. Then I hand him a towel, take one for myself, and we get to work. I go under the blanket and wipe his tail. Damarian lifts the blanket and looks down at me. He smiles, and my heart swells.
When he seems mostly dry, I slide up his body and wrap my arms around him. “I want to comfort you during the change,” I whisper.
His fingers brush through my hair. “You do not have to do so.”
“I want to. It hurts me so much to see you in pain.”
“It is all right. I have grown accustomed to the pain. It is more bearable now.”
As soon as the words exit his mouth, his eyes roll back and he groans. His tail flaps around from underneath me. I clutch him tighter and rest my cheek against his. His whole body trembles.
He moans again, this one harsher than the last. I press my lips to his temple and murmur, “It’s okay. You’ll be okay.”
“The…pain…” His eyes shut. “It is not any more bearable than in the past.”
My heart cries. Everything he’s doing—the agony—it’s all for us. For me. Guilt washes over me, almost knocking me to the ground. His lower lip quivers and sweat breaks out on his forehead. I brush some hair away from his head as I continue to whisper comforting words. After a few seconds, it’s over.
I take a towel and dab at the sweat. Damarian looks up at me with weak, pained eyes. But then his lips pull into a smile. “Thank you.”
I lie on him, feeling his chest rise and fall heavily. His hands are clamped into fists on the sand. I reach for one and flatten it out. He threads his fingers through mine. I’m very aware of his lack of clothes. He only has a towel wrapped around his waist. I swallow as heat rushes through my body.
He must feel a change in me because he touches my hair and says, “Cassie?”
“How do you do it?” I blurt. Then I mentally kick myself.
His hand stills. “Do what?”
My cheeks burn. Why did I even bring this up? “Well…you know...”
He brings his hand to my cheek and tilts my face so our eyes meet. “I am afraid I do not understand.”
I puff out some air. I don’t know why I’m embarrassed. I love this guy and feel like I can be totally open with him. But this topic has never been easy for me. I clear my throat and mutter, “Sex.”
His eyebrows crease. “Sex?”
I stare at him. Wait a second. Is he trying to say he doesn’t know what that is?
His eyebrows rise higher. “What is sex?”
I shift on his chest. I thought it would be years before I’d have the birds and the bees talk with someone. I clear my throat again. “So…um. Well, when two people want to have a baby…” Okay, this is really, really, awkward. “You guys do have babies, don’t you?”
His eyebrows relax. “Are you referring to mating?”
“Oh, yeah!” I hit my head. “Of course. Mating.”
“Certainly we mate,” he says.
I think back to his tail. I’m pretty sure I didn’t see anything there. “So how exactly…?”
Damarian laughs softly. “The scales move aside when the child of the sea is…excited.”
I stare at him. Then I get it. “Oh. Yeah.”
He laughs softly again. “Why do you ask?”
“No reason,” I quickly say. “I guess that’s one of those things a human might wonder about a merman…”
He leans in close and whispers in my ear. “I think about it.”
My blood zooms through my veins. I become immobile.
“I wish to mate with you.”
My heart is thumping so hard and fast, I think I might faint. My mind is spinning and I want to say so much. But I can’t move my mouth.
Damarian takes hold of my waist and flips us over so that he’s on top of me. His legs press down on me, but not too hard to hurt me. “As a human, I feel it more,” he murmurs.
I don’t feel anything, other than the heat pooling over me.
He grazes his finger across my cheek. “Have I upset you?”
I shake my head. “No…not at all,” I breathe. “I’m finding it hard...to do anything.”
“The emotions overwhelm you?”
I nod.
He gets to his knees and gathers me to his chest. He sweeps his hand under my knees and lifts me in his arms. He sits on the sand with me on his lap. “We cannot, Cassie.”
“Why?” I whisper.
But I know why.
“I am not certain what…what shall be the result,” he says.
I want to yell, “Nothing! Nothing will happen,” but I know that’s not true. He’s not human. I’m not a fish. True he’s a human now, but that’s not who he really is. What if I get pregnant? Will she or he be a half fish?
“So what do we do?” I ask. But what I’m really asking is, “Is there a future for us?”
He doesn’t say anything, just wraps his arms around me and holds me close. We sit like this for a long time, with Damarian occasionally skimming his lips across my cheek, my throat, my collarbone. My head snaps back and I moan. Maybe I don’t need more. The passion and pleasure this merman gives me can satisfy me forever. It’s enough to just be in his arms.
“My beautiful Cassie,” he says against my neck.
Don’t leave me. Please. Just don’t ever, ever leave me.
“You are the light of my day. I did not know I could feel this way.”
“Me, either.” I rub his cheek. “I have such a hard time trusting people, Damarian. You changed that.”
I rest my head on his shoulder and he lays his against mine. Our chests rise and fall in unison, our hearts beating as one.
The sky grows light. Damarian lifts his head. “Cassie.”
He tries to pull away, but I grab him. “No. You can’t go. Please.”
“I do not wish to go.” He buries his face in my neck. “How I wish I could take you with me.”
Tears fill my eyes. I blink and they roll down.
Damarian wipes them away with his thumbs. “Do not fret, Cassie.”
“It’s not enough. I want to be with you. This isn’t fair.” I sob onto his shoulder. “It’s not fair.”
“The boat,” he says. “Meet me in the ocean. Where we parted this morning.”
I move back and look into his eyes. If we’re as far away as possible from everyone, maybe we can meet. I touch his cheek. “It’s so dangerous. I can’t let you risk your life and expose yourself to the world. Your people won’t be safe.”
“I cannot lose you. Please. Meet me.”
More tears splash down my cheeks and drip down my chin, onto my s
hirt. “After my surfing class. I promise.”
He presses his cheek against mine. “We must part now before I am discovered.”
My hands are wound tight around his middle. I can’t let him go.
He kisses me. The warmth from his lips travels down my body, cooling the ice that’s starting to form inside me. “It’s so hard to see you go,” I say.
“I know.” He lifts my chin so we see eye to eye. “Walk with me to the sea?”
I nod.
Hand in hand, we head toward the shore. As soon as the tide hits Damarian’s legs, he starts to shake. I give him a quick hug, then a slight push. He dives into the water. A few seconds later, he’s deep in the ocean. I stand on my tippy toes and blow him a kiss. He raises his tail in the air and waves it around. Then it disappears into the water.
I walk home, fresh tears blurring my vision.
Chapter Seventeen
I stare at my reflection in the mirror. The blue bikini looks just as awkward on me as it did the last time I tried it on. Like it doesn’t belong on my body. I grab my wetsuit and pull it over me.
Mom’s lying on the living room couch, flipping through the TV channels with her feet propped on the coffee table. I take my surfboard. “What’s the plan for today?” she asks.
I freeze in place and shut my eyes. Mom’s dying to spend time with me. It feels like the tables have turned—that I’m the mom running off to live her life while the daughter stays at home, desperate for some bonding.
I turn around to face her.
She holds up her hands. “No, don’t say anything. You’re meeting Damian. You better run off, then.”
“He lives far,” I mumble. “Sorry, Mom.”
“Nonsense.” She waves her hand. “Go. Enjoy. I’m so happy to see you with a guy.”
I shift from one foot to the other. “What about you?”
“Hmm?”
“When are you going to date again?”
She sighs. “When are you going to call your father?”
“Eventually…”
She purses her lips. “Life goes on, Cassie. Soon it might be too late. He’ll devote himself to his new family. And one day, you’ll wish you took the time to build a relationship with him.”
I know she’s right. Like Leah always says, there ain’t no time like the present.
I move toward the door, clutching my surfboard. “I’m going to be late.”
“Just a phone call, sweetie.”
Letting out a breath, I nod and close my fingers over the doorknob, pulling it open. I head to the beach and start my class.
When it’s over, I leave my board with Leah, who promises to take very good care of it. Then I make my way to the marina. When Ian sees me, he smiles and walks over. “Here to rent another boat?” he asks.
“Yep.” I try to muster a smile, but I’m sure I fail. My nerves are driving me insane.
He helps me get settled and I start the engine. My heart pounds and my knees tremble. When I reach the place where Damarian and I departed yesterday morning, I kill the engine. Silence fills the area, except for the waves hitting the boat. I lean over the left side. I don’t see anything but the beautiful ocean. Then I check the other side. Nothing. Leaning back in the boat, I cross my ankles. I rub my sweaty palms on my wetsuit. Then I uncross my ankles.
Something hits the back of the boat. I gasp and whip my head around. The sound continues toward the right side. A shark. Am I getting attacked by a shark?
Damarian’s head pops up, and I fall back, knocking my elbow onto the side of the boat. His eyes widen in alarm. “Cassie.”
I sit up, rubbing my arm. “You scared me.”
“I apologize.”
“It’s okay.” I move closer to him and rest my hand on his that’s touching the boat. “How did you know it’s me?”
“I know.”
I stare down at him and he looks up at me. “How are you?” I ask.
“Magnificent, now that you are here.”
I smile shyly, dropping my gaze.
“I know of a location,” he says. “Where we will be alone. Follow me.”
I start the engine and follow him deeper into the ocean. I scan the area to make sure no one is around. After a few minutes, Damarian stops before a sandbar. His webbed hands grab the side of the boat and his head pops up again. “Is it all right?”
“It’s perfect.”
I steer the boat to the sandbar and climb out. Damarian swims over, placing his hands on it. My legs dangle into the cool water. It feels good against my skin.
He runs his hand down my leg, sending chills up my body. He plays with my toes and grins. “They intrigue me.”
“My toes?”
He nods. “The more I look at them, the more I find it peculiar to have fingers on your legs.”
He’s tickling me and I giggle.
He smiles. “I very much enjoy your smile.”
“You’re one of the only people who can make me smile for real.”
My gaze skims down his body, from the top of his head, down his chest, to the scales I see through the water. Here, Damarian is in his natural environment. It’s amazing.
I stand and unzip my wetsuit. Damarian’s expression is surprised as I shimmy out of my suit and toss it into the boat. I’m left in my bikini. His eyes rove over every inch of me. I’m not used to having a guy study me when I’m half naked. I try not to flinch under his gaze.
“You are beautiful,” he says.
My cheeks blaze.
I stand at the edge of the sandbar and jump into the ocean. The cold water pricks my skin. When my head breaks the surface, I find myself face to face with Damarian. I wrap my arms around his neck and my legs around his middle. “I’ve always dreamed of swimming with you in the ocean.”
He nuzzles my nose. “As have I.”
I feel the strength and power of his tail as he pumps it. His arms around me are so strong that I know I’ll be safe in them.
The waves hit us, occasionally spraying salt water into my eyes and mouth. Damarian strokes the side of my head. Then he bends forward and slowly, so slowly, trails soft, warm kisses down my neck. My stomach muscles squeeze together and I moan. The water cools the heat crawling all over my body. I’m hot and I’m cold. My limbs are numb. If not for Damarian’s arms holding me to his chest, I would drop right into the water.
His lips graze the top of my bikini. A hiss escapes my mouth. His mouth sends ripples of pleasure throughout my body. My arms and legs lose their energy, and I slide down his body, into the water. It jolts me awake and I thrash around.
Damarian tugs me to his chest, wrapping his arm around my waist. “I very much enjoy the way you react when my lips touch your body,” he whispers.
My blood pounds. My legs are too weak, and it’s hard for me to tread in the water. Damarian tightens his hold on me.
“You turn me into jello,” I rasp.
His lips rub against my jaw. “I do not know what that is.”
He puts his hand under my knees and lifts me in his arms. Then he swims with me to the sandbar and sits me down so that my legs hang in the water. He rests his hands on either side of my waist. It burns there.
I open my mouth, but snap it shut when I see something in the ocean. My head is still fuzzy, so it takes a few seconds until it clicks in my head.
A gray fin.
“Shark!” I scamper to my feet. “Damarian, a shark!”
His head twists toward the direction of the shark. I expect him to swim away—after all, he’s half human, and sharks eat humans. But instead of getting as far away as possible from the creature that can sever his arm with just one bite, he swims toward it.
“Damarian!” I yell.
When he’s a few feet away, Damarian stretches his hand toward the shark and pats the top of its head. I see now that it’s a great white, but small. Maybe a baby.
They float together like that, with Damarian’s hand on its head, his eyebrows furrowed in concentration. Th
e last time I saw him do that was when we were at the pet shop and he spoke to the fish.
He’s talking to the shark.
After a minute or two, they swim toward me. No, no, no. I stumble back as far as I can, but the sandbar isn’t that big.
“Cassie,” Damarian says, gesturing to the shark. “This is Fiske.”
I just stare at him, dumbfounded.
The shark bobs its head. Bobs. I’ve seen enough movies to know that animal is not my friend.
Damarian holds out his hand toward me. “Do not be alarmed. Fiske will not hurt you.”
I hug my upper arms and shake my head. When I was a kid and just learned to surf, I heard of a horror story about a kid who got attacked by a shark. He lost his leg.
Damarian’s gaze is on the shark. Then he brings it to me. “Fiske is intrigued by you.”
“Are you sure he doesn’t want to eat me?”
His lips form a straight line. “It is his nature, Cassie. But he will not hurt you.”
“I don’t get it. Shouldn’t he eat you? You’re half human.”
He shakes his head. “Sharks are our sworn protectors.”
I raise an eyebrow. “They protect you?”
“Yes. Every clan is protected by a species of shark. The great white sharks guard the Sapphires. Hammerheads protect the Violets. Blue sharks protect the Diamonds. Tiger sharks protect the Emeralds. Bull sharks protect the Rubies.”
Again, I stare at him at a loss of words.
“When humans swim too close to our colonies, our sharks eliminate them.”
I gape at him. “Eliminate?”
He shrugs helplessly. “It is their nature, Cassie.”
I hug myself tighter. This…I don’t know what to make of it. I should be scared shitless—it’s a freakin’ shark. But Damarian’s chasing away a lot of that fear.
“You may touch him, if you would like,” he says.
I think I’d rather not.
“Do you not trust me?”
My arms fall to my sides. “Of course I trust you. But—”
“Then come.” He holds out his hand. “Please.”
I eye it. What if this is some ploy to feed this shark dinner? I shake my head. Damarian wouldn’t do that. Right?
“I will hold you, if that eases your mind.”
