Merman's Kiss (Merman's Kiss, Book 1)

by Dee J. Stone

  “What’s the phrase? ‘Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.’ This happened for a reason, Cass. It’ll make you even stronger. And when you do meet the right guy, everything will be worth it.”

  I smash my face into the pillow. As much as I want to believe her, I’m not sure I can. What’s the point in falling in love if I’m going to end up with a broken heart? When Kyle dumped me, I took it hard, but not as hard as I’m taking it now. Will that mean that my next heartache will be worse? And the one after that?

  All I see before me is his face. And every time, it feels like someone’s cutting my heart open with a sharp knife. I moan and roll back and forth on my bed. I chew on the corner of my blanket. I can’t take this anymore. I just can’t.

  “Talk to me about Jace,” I say.

  “Are you sure? Won’t it—”

  “Please. I don’t care what you say. I need to be distracted. I can’t stand these thoughts and memories playing in my head.”

  “Cassie—”

  “Please.”

  She’s quiet for a few seconds before taking in a breath and letting it out. “We went miniature golfing yesterday. It was fun.”

  I sense she’s trying to hide the excitement from her voice. “Who won?” I ask.

  “Who do you think?”

  The answer’s obvious. Leah’s one competitive girl. “Will you go out with him again?”

  “Cassie, are you sure you want to talk about this—”

  “Will you?” I press.

  She sighs. “Yeah. We’re going out tomorrow night. I’m looking forward to it.”

  The room grows silent. My head fills up. I start my rocking again, more moans slipping out of my mouth.

  Leah touches my arm. “You’ll get through this. One day you’ll meet a great guy and you won’t give two craps about…you know who.”

  “That’s what you said the last time.” I turn onto my back and stare at the ceiling, tears sliding into my ears. “You have no idea what this feels like.”

  “I’ve had my share of broken hearts.”

  “Have you ever felt such a strong, emotional, and spiritual connection with anyone?” When she doesn’t answer, I say, “I’m talking about being in so much love that he makes you feel things you’ve never felt before. True love, just like they have in fairytales. It’s killing me.” My eyes shut tight. “I don’t know how I’ll get through it.”

  “At least you’ve experienced it,” Leah says, her voice rising an octave. I open my eyes. A little bit of pain fills her face. “That love they talk about in books and movies? I’ve never experienced that before. You may be heartbroken, but at least you’ve had a taste of it.” She grabs my smaller pillow and hugs it to her chest. “I’d like to experience that one day, even if it’ll hurt me.”

  I blink at her as her words enter my ears. Leah’s been in a few relationships, but she’s never been in love. Really in love. I drag myself to a sitting position and reach for her hand. She gives it to me. “I’m sorry,” I say.

  She shakes her head. “There’s a bit of good in everything, even in the hardest parts of our lives. I’m not saying you shouldn’t cry. I know you’re hurting. But you need to believe that you’ll meet the right guy one day. You can’t know until you try.”

  I scoot closer to her and pull her into my arms. “You’re right. I’m sorry. It just hurts so much.”

  She squeezes me close. “I know. Just promise me you won’t let this break you.”

  “I don’t know if I can, but I’ll try.”

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  It’s been exactly a week since I ended things with Damarian. I lie awake, replaying the memory for the hundredth time. My heart longs for him. It tells me to forget what he did and forgive him, that he must have a reasonable explanation. But a week passed and I haven’t heard from him. I thought he’d return the day after I told him I never wanted to see him again. I thought he’d fall to his knees and beg me to hear him out. To tell me there’s been a misunderstanding and he’s not engaged. That he loves me and wants to be with me. I would have fallen into his arms, would have forgiven him. The fact that he hasn’t shown up confirms one thing. That everything is true.

  When the sun peeks into my room, signaling that morning has arrived at last, I sit up and strain my ears. No knocking on the door. I want to slap my aching heart. How much longer will I cry for him?

  I’m trying so hard to not let this break me. But it hurts too much. I hope one day I can look back on this and realize it was worth it. All of it.

  I drag myself out of bed to get ready for work. I tie my hair into braids, swallowing the lump in my throat. Every little thing reminds me of him. When I untie my braids, I remember the feel of his hands as they freed my hair and ran through the strands. I haven’t touched my gummy worms for days because the thought of putting one into my mouth makes my stomach churn.

  The kitchen—specifically the oven—reminds me of when we cooked together. I haven’t stepped foot in the pool room or the guestroom. He’s not the one who has to live in a house with his ghost.

  I put on my wetsuit, grab my surfboard, and head for the beach. If not for my class, I wouldn’t come anywhere near here. I can point out every spot I shared a moment with Damarian. Every memory attacks my mind, my heart, and I feel like I’m going to shatter into a million pieces.

  “Cassie?”

  I blink and realize I’ve walked deeper into the beach, standing right in the center of a kid’s sandcastle. He looks up at me with tears in his eyes. Kyle stands next to him. He lays a hand on my arm. “Cassie.”

  I blink again. Then I pull my arm out of his grasp and march away.

  “Wait,” he calls.

  I continue to march. I don’t know where—just away from him. He catches up and stands before me. I try to step around him, but he blocks the way. He sets his hands on my shoulders, leaving me no choice but to meet his gaze.

  “Don’t look at me like that,” he says.

  “Why not? You got what you wanted.” I shrug his hands off and walk away, bumping my shoulder into his.

  He grabs my arm. “This isn’t what I wanted.”

  I whirl around. “Just because your life sucks, that doesn’t mean you have to make everyone else’s miserable, too.”

  “I didn’t want to make your life miserable. You or Prince Damarian’s.”

  My blood boils when I hear that title. Has he been crowned yet? My stomach falls to my toes. Damn, I still love him.

  I’m about to turn around, but he grabs my arm again. “There’s a lot about my world you don’t understand.” Pain flashes in his eyes. “My old world.”

  I snort.

  “It hurt me to see another child of the sea traveling freely from sea to land when I’m stuck here. You have no idea how badly I want to return home. I haven’t seen my family and friends in two years.”

  “I do feel sorry for you, Kyle—or should I say, Kyler—but that didn’t give you the right to threaten to expose Damarian.”

  He throws up his hands. “If not for me, he would have continued his little charade. How much longer did you want to stretch this out?”

  I fight back the tears that are about to consume me. I can’t believe the guy I thought I loved would screw me over like this.

  I cross my arms. “What’s the real reason you broke up with me?”

  He staggers back a bit, like my question threw him off guard. “What?”

  “Now that I know who you really are, why did you break up with me?”

  He shifts from one foot to the other. “Are you sure you want to talk about this?”

  “Were you engaged, too?”

  He sighs. “I met you a little after the girl I loved broke up with me. You were my…distraction. My rebound girl.” He shuts his eyes. “I loved you, but not like I loved her.”

  “Great,” I mutter.

  He moves closer. “I’m sorry, Cass.”

  “Whatever.” I push past him and meet my
kids for class.

  Seriously, screw guys.

  ***

  After finishing my class, I run into the ocean and surf until my lungs nearly collapse and my limbs turn to lead. As I wipe my forehead with my towel, something catches my attention. Golden hair, blue eyes. Not Damarian, but Doria, on the beach, a few feet away from me. I stand there, frozen in place, as she makes her way toward me, dressed in a one-piece bathing suit.

  When she finally reaches me, my mouth is glued shut. I just stare at her.

  “I wish to speak with you,” she says in a detached tone.

  My lips move, but I don’t know what comes out of them.

  “Pardon me?” she asks.

  I clear my throat. “How…how did you get out of the ocean?”

  “I shifted in the early morning, when no humans were about.” She fingers the bathing suit. “I found this article of clothing. It is not comfortable.”

  Despite the weirdness of all of this, I laugh. Doria—who’s only had cold, unfriendly eyes toward me—expression softens.

  “Let’s go to my house,” I offer. She nods.

  Kyle’s standing with a group of surfers. He stares at Doria. She doesn’t seem to know who he is, though.

  I lead her to my house and invite her into the living room. I get some water and sardines from the kitchen. Having Doria in my house makes my skin crawl with nerves and unease. What is she doing here?

  When I return with the refreshments, I find her sitting on the couch, glancing around. She looks breathtaking and exquisite, just like one would imagine a mermaid to look.

  I lower the food onto the table and sit down across from her. She doesn’t say anything for a bit, just continues to study the room. I open my mouth a few times to ask all the questions burning in my soul, but I keep quiet.

  Finally, she turns to me. “Father threatened banishment if Damarian dared leave the sea.”

  I gape at her, my heart pounding in my head, making it hard to think. “Uh…what?” is all I manage to say.

  “Damarian wishes to return, but he is not certain you will have him.”

  The pounding in my head increases. I rub my temples to lessen the pain, but that doesn’t help. Releasing a breath, I look at her. “Let me understand. Your brother wants to come to land, but your father threatened to banish him?”

  Doria nods. “He wishes to return to you, but you clearly stated you do not wish to lay eyes upon him.”

  Tears of relief build up in my eyes. He wants to come back. He didn’t forget about me. “But…what about his…the princess?”

  Doria shifts in her seat. “She will find another king.”

  “But he said he’s the rightful king. I don’t understand.”

  She leans back. “Would you like to hear it all from the start?”

  “Yes. Please.”

  She begins, “The children of the sea have not always lived in peace. Many moons ago, there were battles. Many of us were lost. The crown has been in my family since the beginning of time, but during the battles the Violets stole it from us.” She looks down at her knees. “My father is the true king. Damarian is the true prince.” She slowly raises her eyes. I don’t know what my face shows, but my mind is a jumbled mess. Damarian’s the prince. He will be king. All this time…

  “Some clans wish the crown to return to the rightful family. The Emeralds are not fond of the Violets. Neither are the Diamonds. King Palaemon is a fair king, but he is not the true one. It is time the crown be returned to the Sapphires.”

  My head’s reeling. This is too much to soak in.

  Doria continues, “The Violets do not wish to relinquish the throne, for it was theirs for generations and they feel they are the true ruling clan. Father and King Palaemon have agreed to form an alliance and unite all the children of the sea.” She lays her hands on her lap. “Damarian shall rule as king. Princess Flora shall rule as queen.”

  My throat gets so dry, I need a drink. But I know nothing can enter my mouth. My left foot twitches. “So Damarian wanted to have some fun before the big day?” There’s no masking the pain and bitterness spewing out of me.

  Doria shakes her head. “You do not understand the manner in which Damarian felt. He was promised to Princess Flora when he was a fry. All his life, he has been told how vital he is. He has spent many a time at Eteria, our capital city and the kingdom. He and his betrothed are fairly well aquatinted.” She shakes her head. “But try as he might, Damarian does not love the princess.”

  I swallow, goose bumps forming over my skin.

  “He understands his duty. He understands how imperative it is for him to take the throne. As the eldest, it is his obligation.”

  Every part of me cries for him. To be forced to marry someone he doesn’t love, all for the sake of his people. My poor Damarian. I wish I could hug him.

  “The night Damarian fled the sea during the storm,” Doria says, “he and Princess Flora were to announce their mating the following morning.”

  Now it all makes sense. Damarian swam away in dangerous conditions because he was running away from his life.

  “Father believes him to be a coward. A disappointment.” She shakes her head again. “All he sees is the crown on a Sapphire head.”

  Again, I cry for him. I want to gather him in my arms and hold him close and comfort him.

  “He fled his duty,” Doria says. “A child of the sea does not act in such a manner.”

  I want to defend him. Why should anyone be forced to marry someone he doesn’t love, even if it’s for the sake of his own people? Yet at the same time, a lot of people were counting on him. I don’t know what I’d do in that situation.

  “He returned home,” Doria says. “Father was most upset. He informed my brother that the mating shall occur that night. Damarian fled once again. He did not return.”

  That was when Mom came home. I thought Damarian was spending time with his family, which eased my mind. But he wasn’t. He hid somewhere in the ocean, with only Fiske as his protector.

  “My brother, Kiander, and I left the sea in search for my brother.”

  “How did you find him?” I ask.

  “Children of the sea have the ability to sense when one is near, on land as well. It is how we do not injure one another in the ocean while we hunt.”

  I nod.

  “Father was furious when Damarian returned. Damarian attempted to tell him that he did not wish to mate with Princess Flora and take the throne. I am certain you can imagine Father’s reaction.”

  Yeah, he flipped.

  “Father informed him that he was to take the crown. That is all. Damarian returned to you.” She wrings her fingers. “Father understands that Damarian has found another mate.”

  Well, I wouldn’t put it like that.

  “When Damarian returned again, Father threatened banishment.”

  The day I told him I never wanted to see him again. He must have been crushed. “How can your father banish, though? I thought only kings can.”

  Doria nods. “Father is the true king. He has the ability to banish as well.”

  “Oh.” I chew on my braid. “So…why are you here?”

  Doria sighs. “Damarian loves you deeply. I do not understand how one can have such love for a human, but I do not question it. He remains in his quarters, refusing to see anyone.”

  Tears roll down my cheeks. I’ve hurt him so badly. I never understood why he didn’t talk to me about it, but now I do. He knew I wouldn’t want to be with him once I learned all of this. He didn’t want to lose me.

  “I persuaded my brother to speak to me,” Doria says. “He informed me of the quarrel. I have never seen him so broken.”

  I bite my lip as more tears splash down my cheeks.

  “His is prepared to risk banishment,” she says, stressing her words to make sure I understand. “He is not certain Father will truly banish him. He is his son, and heir to the throne.” Her voice rises a little. “He is willing to be tied to land. For you. But
he is not certain you will have him. He wishes to know.”

  “No!” I practically yell.

  Her eyes widen in shock.

  I slap the tears off my cheeks. “Go back to the ocean. Tell Damarian that I love him so much. That I’ve never loved anyone as much as I love him, and that I won’t ever love anyone like him. Tell him that it’s because of my love for him that I’m letting him go. I don’t want him to lose everyone he holds dear to him. I won’t let him be stuck here on land. Not for me.” I wipe away some more tears. “Don’t let him, Doria. Don’t let him risk everything for me. I love him so, so much. It’ll kill me if I take his life away.”

  Doria studies me for a few seconds. Then she nods. “I admire you, human Cassie. I shall relay the message to my brother.”

  She stands up, and I do, too. “I never meant for this to happen,” I tell her.

  She nods. Then she hesitantly rests her hand on my arm. “You have changed my brother. He is joyful now.” She twists her nose. “Before your quarrel.”

  I nod, forcing fresh tears away. “He has changed me, too. I will cherish my time with him forever.”

  She bows her head. “I shall take my leave now.”

  “Thanks so much for coming. I know I’m not your biggest fan.”

  She heads for the door, then looks back at me. “If my brother were to love a human, I am glad it is you.”

  That’s really sweet of her to say, even though I don’t think I deserve it. My feelings toward her have definitely changed. “Please don’t let him ruin his life because of me. That’s my only wish.”

  She nods and opens the door. “Very well.” She stares out. “How will I return?”

  I grab my bag. “Let’s get a boat.”

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  I hug my pillow to my chest and turn onto my side, shutting my eyes tight. Sleep just won’t come. When I try to count sheep, I count little Damarians instead. When I count from one to a hundred, Damarian’s face distracts me.

  I miss him like crazy.

  Squeezing my pillow even tighter, I push him out of my head. His beautiful golden hair, his dark blue eyes, the light on his face when he’s happy or excited, the strong arms that made me feel loved and protected.