Wilt

by Rae, Nikki

  “I love it, sir,” I rushed out, and he thankfully resumed his movement. Now a different sensation climbed through me, increasing my pulse and breathing. It made me push harder against him, needing him to hasten his actions. My hand was between my legs again, picking up speed as warmth from my belly pooled there, igniting the very first flames of what promised to be the moment I’d been chasing.

  “Do not come,” he said into my ear, relentless in his pace and making it that much harder to obey his command.

  Even with this threat, my hips and hand worked harder.

  His tongue traced my ear, sending a shiver of just the beginning of what I wanted through my chest. Without much effort at all, he could unravel me.

  “Are you close, Doe?” he whispered.

  Unable to speak, I nodded, staring directly into his eyes.

  “I can feel it,” he nearly hissed, voice reverberating to the very core of me as I mewled even more pathetically, sounding more like I was on the verge of tears.

  I felt his lips stretch into a smile against my ear. “Would you like to come, Doe?” he asked, equal parts amused and aroused.

  I nodded even more fervently as I pleaded with my eyes.

  “Do you think you deserve to come after this evening?”

  I hadn’t expected the question, but even its abruptness couldn’t derail the wave that threatened to drown me. I wasn’t ready to think about tonight in too much detail. The major images bore into my mind, but I refused to let them in for too long. I’d endured this entire day without making any mistakes. I’d let that girl grope me and then sat and watched her have my Master the way I wanted him.

  I nodded without question, holding back another muffled cry as he backed away so I could see him.

  He grinned. “I agree.”

  I didn’t think that constituted as enough to be considered granting me permission, but I was trembling, losing my footing and slipping ever closer off the cliff.

  Fortunately, before I lost my grip, he finally said, “You can come now, Doe.”

  Master Lyon pumped into me faster, so hard my back slid against the cushions. My body jolted beneath him and I moaned, cried out, and nearly screamed as everything he’d done to me culminated in a limb-shuddering orgasm.

  My back arched with the wave, hands reaching out and landing on the tightened muscles of his shoulders and his lips engulfing mine, swallowing any sound I could have made.

  Just when I thought I couldn’t take any more, he slowly pulled out of me, reigniting every synapse in my brain.

  He growled against my neck and I realized I was no longer touching myself—hadn’t been for some time. Both of my hands now clutched his bare torso, pulling his warm body back to mine. Second by second, the waves began to recede, leaving behind that warm, glittering feeling I didn’t want to break. I blinked lazy eyes, thinking about us only in the purest sense. Two bodies, two heartbeats, two human beings whose glows had begun to fade too soon; who would have to be thrown into the shadows again. But right now, we were two flames that had found each other in the dark.

  Nine

  The first complete, although fleeting, thought that materialized was the fact that he hadn’t come. At least, I didn’t think he had. It was one more thing I hadn’t yet experienced, but there surely had to be some indication something like that had occurred.

  Then his lips met my forehead and it brought me back from my thoughts. “Stay with me, Doe.” His voice was so soft. He cupped my cheek and my attention was drawn to him. He was staring right at me and then I became aware of his legs between mine. The tiny quirk to the left side of his mouth was the most endearing thing he’d given me, and I sheepishly smiled back.

  “One day,” he said, “I will do so much more to you.” The promise on his tongue and the longing in his voice sounded anything but manufactured. He felt this; he meant this.

  Without thinking, I tucked a loose hair behind his ear. I marveled at how smooth and soft it was, how it contrasted with the impossible heat of his skin against my fingers. My other hand trailed down his neck, the hardness of his chest and the glossy scar tissue that disrupted it. In the dim light, his skin shimmered with its natural texture and a mist of sweat. My fingers played in the fine chest hair before I returned to the scar, trying to feel as much of it as I could in my current position. He closed his eyes as if absorbing what I was doing, absorbing me the same way I did him.

  It was difficult to look away from his expression, which was pained, scared, and serene all at once. As I reached the trail of hair at the base of his abdomen, his eyes opened. The same tiny half of a smirk appeared on his lips, though it seemed all the joy had left it.

  Too soon, we were more than just bodies, human beings with human parts that worked together towards a singular goal. We were back to our roles, the tiny bit of light we’d created all but vanished.

  Master Lyon backed away from me. “Can you sit up?”

  My limbs were heavy, traces of tingles still in my veins. I managed to shrug, and before I could worry about not addressing him, he was taking my hands and pulling me upward. I wasn’t prepared for the pain as I sat up and I winced.

  He held my shoulders and I looked up at him. “Sore?” If we’d been in better light, I would have believed I saw concern in his eyes, but the shadows hid his true feelings.

  I nodded, trying to adjust to how hard I was plummeting back into my body.

  I’d let him have sex with me—the entry point made no difference. Instinct told me to feel manipulated, disgusted with myself for being so weak, but I couldn’t. He’d helped me work through this unique brand of fear so I could face it when I didn’t have him there.

  Master Lyon put his pants back on and nothing else before he retrieved the forgotten tea on the desk. He poured me a cup and I hated that my fingers trembled as I took it.

  One hand soothed my back. “It’s probably cold now,” he said, “but you must be thirsty.”

  I drank it down anyway. Once it was gone, I felt slightly better. He took Mr. B’s jacket from the floor and draped it over my shoulders.

  “Only sore?” he asked. “It’s not painful?”

  I shook my head. Not exactly. A tiny bit uncomfortable, but not by any stretch unbearable. It was more so the fact that he’d been there, so deeply and fully that I could still feel him long after he’d gone.

  “No, sir.” I held the cup between my hands, staring into the droplet of tea at the bottom.

  It was silent. “Is it true what Marius tells me?” He knelt in front of me, arms on either side and incredibly close. “That you don’t want to go back to our room?”

  Ours. That word nearly choked me.

  “Y-yes, sir.”

  He smoothed the hair from my face, palm stroking down my head and neck. “Why?”

  My head rested against his chest automatically; I was exhausted. If someone like me could have a soul. Again, I could only shrug, praying he’d take pity on me and let me keep my reasons to myself.

  He rubbed my back. “I’m the same person you’ve slept beside before this night.”

  I didn’t know how he could so easily guess, but I shouldn’t have been surprised. We both knew we were these people. I was defiant and subservient. I was an innocent mouse and a cunning snake. Likewise, he was the scared little boy he’d been forced to bury as well as the Owner he’d grown to be. I’d been trying so hard to separate these aspects of ourselves when all along, they were too tangled in each other to ever come apart.

  Wordlessly, he took the cup from me and helped me stand. I was more aware of the soreness now, and he kept a hand on the small of my back and let me lean most of my weight into him as he slowly moved us forward.

  As we neared the door, he flipped the light switch and the room was plunged into darkness. I tensed with the prickling fear.

  “I’ve got you, Doe,” he murmured, guiding me to the door and out into the dim hall. I expected him to take me upstairs, ignore my silly reasons for not wanting to sleep i
n that room, but instead we turned towards the kitchen and stopped at the door to the greenhouse.

  I looked up at my Owner with wide, questioning eyes. I hadn’t been inside since I ran.

  Sensing my excitement, a tiny smirk appeared on his lips as he pulled the familiar key from his pocket to unlock the door. The slight glow from within as well as a subtle humid heat greeted us. I closed my eyes and breathe din the earthy scent I hadn’t realized I’d missed so much.

  He kissed my forehead to get my attention and I kept my eyes partly open as he led the way, letting me lean even more into him. I heard the door softly shut and for the first time, felt a calmness accompanied by the sound. I’d always dreaded the locking of doors, especially when someone was locked inside with me. It meant there was nowhere to run, no escape. When Master Lyon closed a door I was with him and safe. Everything outside was locked out. Right now, I didn’t feel the need to run. I didn’t plan anything. Though I should have felt guilty about this, I was also giving myself the freedom to be selfish while I still could.

  We stopped moving and I opened my eyes just enough to make out more than amorphous shapes. The fountain was before us, lit by dimmed bulbs embedded in the patio tiles around its base. It was silent, the water still. We passed the bench and slipped under the tree and its pink blossoms. He led us off the path and our bare feet treaded the moist dirt. We traveled a short distance before we came upon the obvious place he wanted to take me. The dirt gave way to grass, and there was a neat pile of cushions and blankets. The spot had a clear view of the vine covered, beehive shaped windows. I could see in the moonlight that it had begun to snow. Underneath, under one dim, battery-powered lantern, there was a pile of mismatched pillows, blankets laid out to resemble a bed. I glanced at Master Lyon again with tired, confused eyes.

  “I planned this for you tonight,” he said. “You did well, and I had Marius set things up while we were…busy.”

  I wanted to smile, but I didn’t have it in me. “Thank you, sir.” My voice cracked.

  “Do you want to lie down?” he asked close to my temple, reminding my body of all he’d just done to it.

  I nodded and he settled me into the soft makeshift mattress. I settled easily into it as he lay beside me. I was more aware of my soreness as I turned onto my side to face him and involuntarily grimaced.

  “Here,” he said, taking one of the many pillows from behind him. Gently lifting my knee, he placed the pillow between my legs and set it back down, now slightly elevated.

  I was still aware of the hint of pain, but it was far easier to ignore now.

  He’d been here long before me. He knew it better, knew what he would have wanted after his first time—things he was undoubtedly denied. I didn’t want him to think I was sad so I shut the notion out of my mind before any indication of it could be seen on my face.

  Master Lyon covered both of us with a heavy blanket, one strong arm pulling me towards him and the other encircling my wrist as his chin rested against the top of my head.

  “Are you warm enough?” he asked.

  I nodded, nuzzling into him and inhaling his scent. He stroked my arm.

  “Thank you.” His voice was deep and quiet.

  I was about to ask what for but stopped myself. He hadn’t made me walk him through the torture I felt over sharing our room after tonight’s events so I wouldn’t make him explain himself either.

  ***

  It was nearly morning when I next opened my eyes. The snow had settled into tiny, ice-covered mounds and only flurries remained in the overcast grey sky. I was alone. There was no hard, warm mass of muscles wrapped around me, and Master Lyon was nowhere to be seen. I was still exhausted, and feeling as if I hadn’t slept at all. There were more blankets on top of me than before but I was still cold. Everything in me wanted to stay asleep, so why had I woken up?

  I scanned the area for any danger but it was just as serene as when I last saw it. However, as I listened, I could hear the trickling of water. I sat up slowly, noticing I was still achy.

  I’d never seen a bathroom entrance here, but my Owner had many hidden places I’d only just begun to uncover. Following the sound, I stepped over plants and around bushes and tree trunks until I was standing in front of a brick, vine-covered wall. At the far end, there was a door that had I not been looking for one, I would have missed completely.

  It was cracked open an inch or two, and as I neared, I could see inside a bit more.

  Reflected in the wide, foggy mirror above the sink, my Owner showering in front of more of the same grey bricks, which glistened with water droplets as shower heads sprayed him from above. I took longer than I should have to look away, taking in the details I could make out: Scarred chest, wet hair, turned back with its shifting sinews as he washed himself with a soap that smelled of cedar and some other warm thing I couldn’t place.

  I felt like an intruder, finding him while he was unaware of my presence, while he was in such a vulnerable and unguarded state.

  When Master Lyon turned around, I froze when his eyes met mine.

  He grinned at me as he turned off the water, wrapped a towel around himself, and came to greet me.

  Taking hold of my hand, he led me into the room, water clinging to his bare skin. Without a word, he removed his towel and then the jacket I’d been wearing. The shower itself was a slightly sloped corner with a drain in the floor and a large, flat showerhead hanging from the ceiling, hooked into the complicated pipe work that watered his many plants.

  The water was pleasantly warm when he turned on the spray again and I closed my eyes as it rained down on me. He stepped underneath in beside me, soaping a sea sponge and washing me. He applied just the right amount of pressure to ease my muscles. It wasn’t sexual, the way he touched me, but it was slow and deliberate.

  Despite its innocence, the gesture set a fire inside my chest and when I glanced downward, I could see he was partially hard.

  He didn’t try to arouse or seduce me, yet I found myself desperately wanting to touch him, to make him feel as good as he’d made me feel.

  As he shampooed my hair, my hand traveled to the shelf of soap and oils, selecting the glass bottle that held the faint purple liquid I’d come to know smelled like lavender. I applied it to another sponge I found hanging from a hook amongst the stones.

  Master Lyon didn’t protest as I stepped in front of him to lather his chest and shoulders, even smiling as he concentrated on massaging my scalp. He seemed to be taking his time, so I did the same. I let my fingers graze the raised skin of his scars as the sponge traveled to his abdomen, smoothing over the fine slopes of muscles there.

  I stared downward at his hardness between us, convinced there was no way it could have fit inside of me.

  He let me lean my head against his arm, the water on my back as I moved closer. The lower my hands explored, the lower his did as well, cupping and kneading. One hand found the now rigid length of him, and when I looked up he didn’t try to stop me.

  “Go ahead,” he whispered in some desperate attempt to maintain control over what was happening to him.

  Licking my lips, I asked, “Will you show me how?”

  Master Lyon gave me an amused grin. “Do whatever you like, Doe. There isn’t much you can do wrong.” His fingers had slowed against my scalp, all but forgetting rinsing out the shampoo.

  Slowly, I curled a fist around him and moved up and down, sliding easily with the help of the soap. He rubbed my back as if to encourage me, and soon I picked up the pace and he drove gently into my hands.

  His fingers clutched my skin and I knew it was because of what I was doing to him. I controlled everything about this current scene. I wanted more from him; I wanted him to give me parts of himself I had only glimpsed.

  I carefully knelt before him and he let me, eyes closed as he supported himself with one hand braced against the wall. I wasn’t sure what to do, and if I thought too long I was afraid I’d back out. Instead, I kissed the inside of his thi
gh—the way he’d shown me felt best—and I heard him sharply exhale, breath echoing off the stone and through the torrent of water.

  I fought my buzzing mind to remember what little he’d taught me about this particular act. It instantly conjured the image of me on the bed, his fingers in my mouth as he instructed me as to how other men would take advantage of it.

  I kissed upward, to the mound of flesh between his legs that sat just below his erection. The skin here was thin, delicate yet supple as I ran my tongue over the coarse hair. Holding onto his shins for balance, I felt him shiver. I couldn’t recall him ever reacting to me like this; it wasn’t a weakness he willingly or frequently shared.

  His hands were on either side of my head, gently tugging my hair in a way that told me he enjoyed what I was doing. Closing my eyes, I calmed my racing heart and focused only on how he felt, smelled, and tasted; what made his hips move forward and back.

  I followed the path upward to his hot silky skin, tongue stroking the impossibly soft length of him. When I’d made it to the tip, another gasp escaped him and I realized I was probably teasing Master Lyon, judging by the tension in his arms and legs. I glanced up at him as if something in his expression would confirm just how much power I wielded and found him staring down at me, eyelids heavy as if I’d drugged him.

  Being in charge of his body empowered me. It was as if I could cast any spell I chose to make him feel the way I wanted; I wielded the magic words and actions, I only needed to arrange them in the right order.

  His return grin was pained and impatient. I decided to take pity on him, closed my eyes, and finally took him into my mouth.

  At first, it felt like too much, but I breathed through my nose the way he’d taught me and sucked, eliciting a quiet, strangled moan that rumbled throughout his chest. He was so soft yet hard, warm as I began to move, hating myself for only a second, thinking about how Mia had moved her head up and down this exact way before I returned to the present.