by Cali MacKay
I had tried texting and calling to apologize to her, but she hadn’t returned any of my calls or texts. Not that I could blame her. I’d hate me too if I were her.
Colton shook his head at me, giving me a sideways glance as we stood guard. “You need to move on. Just forget about her. It’s not as if you don’t have women falling over you whenever we go out. Just pick one, take her home, and fuck her until you don’t remember Izzy’s name.”
As if it would be that easy. “You’re a real asshole. You know that, right?”
He laughed, shrugging his shoulders. “Pot—kettle, buddy.”
I grumbled, my mood no better after Colton’s “pep talk.” I knew I had to get over Izzy. I just didn’t know how. And I hated that it had been over between us before it ever truly got started.
Maybe if I had told her the truth…
And then what? What the hell would she do once she found out that my family and I had spent most of our lives skirting the law and being thugs? She sure as shit wouldn’t simply ignore something like that. Especially not when she came from old money and her mother had recently been murdered at the hands of a criminal.
“Look, man…I know you really liked her. It was clear as day—for both of you. But you know who we are…you know the trouble that follows us.” Colton let out a ragged breath and stuffed his hands in his pockets. “She’s been through so much already. She doesn’t need our problems compounding the matter. You know she could easily become a target if she means something to you. And though she has no close family to disapprove of you, she doesn’t live in a vacuum, and the people in her life certainly won’t hold their tongue on voicing their opinion on your relationship.”
“Izzy won’t care what they have to say. She’s not judgmental like that.” Not that there wasn’t truth to the rest of what he’d said. Even if I wasn’t willing to deal with reality at the moment.
“I know she’s not.” He shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know. Maybe we’re both mistaken, and she’d be fine with your past if you told her the truth about you and your family.”
“Yeah…maybe.” And there was only one way to find out.
“Except that you still might be putting her in danger, Slater.” He shrugged with a sigh. “Fuck, man…it’s not like I won’t be facing the same problem if I ever meet someone I truly like enough to see them more than a few times.”
“So…what then? We’ll just stick to one-night stands?” I shook my head no. “Fuck that, man. Maybe when I was younger, I wouldn’t have cared. But now? You’ve seen how happy my brothers are—and I want that too.”
I’d just have to find a way to keep her safe—but first, I’d have to find a way to undo the damage I’d done. Because something told me she wouldn’t be taking me back with open arms.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Isabelle
I sat in my lawyer’s office, looking for answers I wasn’t sure he’d have, but unsure of who else to turn to. Because the last thing I’d expected to find while going through my mother’s things was a birth certificate that wasn’t mine, stashed away in one of my mother’s safety deposit boxes. “I need to know what the hell is going on. The birth certificate has my mother’s maiden name listed, saying she gave birth to a baby boy—years after she married my father.”
James Stein shook his head with a weary sigh, sitting back in his leather chair, his eyes meeting mine with a sympathetic gaze. “Honestly, I wish she’d spoken to you about this, since I don’t have a whole lot of information to give you.”
“But you know what happened. Don’t you?” I gritted my teeth in anger, lacking the patience to deal with James dragging his feet.
He nodded. “Your parents had separated when you were younger. You couldn’t have been more than four years old, and they were only apart for a year or two. You’d been left in your father’s care, but…in the time that your mother was away, she secretly gave birth to a baby boy, and then put him up for adoption. I believe she was having an affair and got pregnant. Having decided to go through with the pregnancy, a separation from your father would have been the only way to keep it a secret.”
“I can’t believe it… I have a brother?” I’d refused to get my hopes up when I found the birth certificate, but now that I was faced with the truth, I’d never been more shocked in all my life—and I’d never been more angry. “How could she just put him up for adoption?”
“I’m sorry, Isabelle. I’m not exactly sure of the circumstances. Your mother never did say what happened. But she told me of the birth and the adoption because she had some legal questions she needed answered.” He looked truly sorry that he didn’t have more information on my brother, and that I’d been handed a blow that would forever change how I thought of my past. “I will say that, having been your mother’s lawyer before her marriage to your father, I know that there was an infidelity clause in their prenuptial. A baby would have been proof that she had an affair—though I knew your father well, and he would have never have wanted that child to be put up for adoption.”
“But I do know my mother. She’d never risk losing access to my father’s fortune—not even if it meant putting her child up for adoption.” Somehow, I wasn’t at all surprised that she’d made the choice she had—and it forced me to face what I’d always known about her. That she had always put herself first, above all else.
Never had she been a kind and loving mother. I’d just been lucky enough to have my father, though it only made his loss all the more heartbreaking.
James handed me back the birth certificate, which was all I had on a brother I’d never known about. “Maybe as you go through your mother’s things, you’ll find more information stashed away. Perhaps she kept a journal?”
I scoffed, shaking my head, still trying to wrap my head around my mother’s secret and trying not to hate her for choosing money over my brother. “No. My mother wasn’t exactly the journaling type. Though I’ll have to go through the rest of her things to see if there’s anything else there. My father…did he ever find out?”
“No. I don’t believe he did. I believe your mother did everything she could to make sure your father never found out about the affair she’d had or the child she gave away. Honestly, I don’t think anyone knew. And if that was the only information you found, and she never mentioned it to you, then frankly, I don’t think she wanted you to know about your brother either. Not even after her death, since she didn’t leave me with any information I could pass on to you.” He got to his feet when I stood up, ready to go. “I’m truly sorry that you’ve had to deal with such shocking news. If there’s any way I can help…”
“If you come across any other information on my brother…” I had a brother. I was still waiting for that to sink in.
“I’ll be sure to let you know.”
I sat in the back of the town car, holding onto the only information I had on my brother. There was hardly anything on it. Just a birth certificate. Nothing more.
How could she? How could she leave my father, have a baby, put it up for adoption, come back as if nothing had happened, and never say a word? I didn’t want to think ill of the dead, but for fuck’s sake…there was no swallowing down the rage that was threatening to consume me.
I looked at the birth certificate again.
All I had was a name—and chances were good that it had changed once he was adopted.
Andrew. Andrew Jameson—my mother’s maiden name. Of course. So there’d be nothing tying the child or my mother to my father.
It was so little to go on. How the hell was I supposed to find him?
Tears slipped down my cheeks as I mourned the years I could have had with my brother. Years that I would never get back—and years that I may still lose if I wasn’t able to find him. Who knew what Andrew had gone through…what sort of life he’d ended up having.
I could only hope that he’d been happy and well loved.
Yet I had so many questions—and no answers whatsoever, especially now
that my mother was gone. My relationship with my mother had always been more than a little strained and tenuous.
But this? It felt unforgivable.
And what if she hadn’t died? Would she have ever told me about Andrew? Would she have ever bothered with trying to find him?
I didn’t even know how or where to start looking for him.
But…I knew someone who might.
I made a quick call to Blackthorn Security and then gave my driver a new address, before sitting back and trying to ignore the pounding of my heart and the storm of emotions that battered my soul. I wasn’t sure I was quite ready to face Slater, but the truth was I’d missed him these last few weeks, even if I was still angry and hurt by the way he’d simply walked away.
At least he’d called and tried to apologize—repeatedly. Not that it made it any easier to get over the humiliation I felt. I still didn’t know why he’d left, since he hadn’t bothered to say in his messages. But maybe seeing him again would make me realize that what I’d felt for him was a naïve infatuation, and nothing more.
We pulled up in front of Slater’s home and I knocked on the door, desperately trying to slow the racing beat of my heart as I waited in anticipation, wondering if he was even home. It was eleven a.m., so there was a good chance he might be at work. Yet before long, a shadow moved behind the frosted glass, and the door was soon pulled open.
“Izzy.” His eyes met mine, a look of surprise on his face as he stood there in a pair of jeans and no shirt, making it impossible to ignore his washboard abs and tattooed arms.
“I’m sorry to just show up like this, but I need your help and I wasn’t sure who else to turn to.” I hated feeling so vulnerable, but it felt like my whole life had been turned upside down. “May I come in?”
He shook his head as if suddenly realizing that we were still standing at his front door. “Yeah. Of course. Come in.”
He stepped aside to let me pass as I did my best to ignore just how good it felt to see him again. I just hoped this wasn’t a mistake. Because one thing was clear: all the things I’d been telling myself about how this thing with Slater was nothing more than an infatuation that had gotten out of control was nothing more than a lie.
The last month apart had made that much clear, since he’d been my only waking thought and in my every dream. Because I wasn’t infatuated with Slater.
I was in love with him.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Slater
The last person I’d expected to find at my door was Izzy—and if she had come all the way here after not returning any of my calls, then I knew that whatever problem she needed help with was a big one. I don’t think she would have bothered with me otherwise, which had me just a little worried.
I locked the door behind us and escorted her into my living room, my hand falling to the small of her back. “What’s happened? Are you okay?”
We took a seat on the sofa as she nodded, though it was clear that something had her upset. “I’m fine, though I need your help trying to find someone. I’m not even sure if that’s something you do…”
“Whatever you need, I’ll find a way to help you.” Not that it explained why she was so upset. “Who are we trying to find, love?”
“The brother I didn’t know existed.” Her eyes shimmered with tears that soon slipped down her cheeks, as she swallowed hard, her voice cracking when she spoke. “I don’t have anything but a name. Not even an adoption agency. Nothing.”
Fucking hell…
I pulled her into my arms, desperate to comfort her, and hating that she was so upset, though I was relieved that she’d come to me for help. “I’ll do all I can to help you find him, Izzy.”
She stayed there in my arms until her tears finally slowed, eventually pulling out of my arms and wiping away her tears. “I’m sorry I’m such a mess. I only found the birth certificate this morning and I’m still coming to terms with it all.”
“I can’t even imagine, but I don’t want you worrying about anything. We’ll figure this out. We’ll find him.” Although I didn’t have a whole lot of experience with this sort of thing, my brothers likely did and would be happy to help. And if worst came to worst, she could hire an investigator. But one thing was certain. Now that I had Izzy back in my life, I wasn’t letting her go. I knew that the moment she walked through my door. “Let me get in touch with one of my brothers. He’s really good at tracking people down.”
“How can he find someone when I don’t even have their name? This feels like an impossible task—and I can’t tell you how angry I am that my mother made this all so difficult. She could have said something. She could have given me more information to go on. And I should have known about my brother when my mother was still alive so that we could find him. Instead, it took her being murdered for me to find out that I have a brother—even though she knew I’ve always felt so alone.” Her anger was palpable, even as her tears streamed down her cheeks once more. “How could she do this to him—to me?”
I reached over and took her hand in mine, running my fingers over the back of her hand. “I’m sure she had her reasons. It couldn’t have been easy for her.”
“Oh sure. She had a reason. She didn’t want to lose out on my father’s fortune, since there was an infidelity clause in their pre-nup.” She scoffed, shaking her head as she clearly thought of her mother. “The only thing that really surprises me is that she actually went through with the pregnancy.”
I couldn’t imagine any mother would be able to give up her child without it breaking their heart. I thought of my own mother, and how she’d do whatever it took to make sure we were safe and happy, even if it meant her own pain and misery. “I’m sure it was still a difficult decision for her to make, Izzy.”
“Was it really?” Her eyes flared bright with an anger I’d never seen in her before. “I mean, how difficult could it have been? It’s not as though she gave up this baby so that he could have a better life, nor was it because she couldn’t take care of him. She gave up her baby because she was too selfish to think of anyone but herself and cared more about my father’s fortune than admitting that she’d had an affair and was pregnant.”
“I wish I had answers for you.” I couldn’t imagine what she was going through, and her anger was understandable, especially when her mother was now gone, making it all the more difficult to find the answers she was looking for. “Have you gone through your mother’s things? Maybe there’s something there…some clue or bit of information that might give us a starting point. Although, you may also want to do one of those DNA kits and submit it to the more popular adoption sites. It may turn up a match if your brother knows he was adopted and has been searching for his birth family.”
“Do you really think he might be looking for me?”
There was such hope in her voice that I hated to dampen her glimmer of hope.
“I think people want answers to their past. They want to know where they came from…where they belong. So if your brother knows he was adopted, then I think there’s a good chance he might be looking for any information he can find on his birth family—though there might not be a whole lot for him to find if your mother was careful to cover her tracks.” Which was likely the case if Izzy’s mother was worried about losing her fortune. “Though maybe after your father’s death, she no longer had reason to worry about being found out.”
“No…I think for my mother, it went beyond that. I think she wanted to think she could do no wrong. And acknowledging that she’d had a child that was the result of an affair would only be a reminder that she wasn’t perfect. Because if she wanted to make amends, then she would have tried to find my brother after my father’s death. But she didn’t.” She let out a weary sigh, shaking her head. “Unless she tried and couldn’t find him.”
“Hey…don’t lose hope when we haven’t even started yet.” I cupped her cheek, my gaze falling to her lips as I resisted the urge to kiss her. “If she were to keep any information of the
adoption, where might she hide it?”
“There was no other information in the security box, but she may have stashed more information here at our home in Seattle. Or at our homes in London and out in the country. Although my brother’s birth certificate says he was born here in the States—in Boston.”
“We’ll see what we can find here in Seattle, and then, if need be, we can head over to Boston and London.”
“You’d come with me?”
She sounded so surprised, I couldn’t help but kiss her sweetly.
“Sweetness, I’d follow you to the ends of the earth.”
And I would. Though once I found the right time to tell her the truth about my past, she may not want anything to do with me.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Isabelle
Since my mother’s death, I’d come back to my parents’ Seattle home as little as possible, not wanting to deal with all the memories. And though I’d spent a good portion of my childhood here, the home felt far too large and empty, especially once my father had gone. Not that we’d spent much time here after that.
Seattle had always been my father’s favorite place—not my mother’s—and this had been my father’s family home. Well…one of them, though it had certainly been his favorite, and where we lived when we weren’t in England. But maybe now that my mother was gone, I might make this place my own, though it would feel awfully large and empty if I was the only one rattling around here.
I ran my hands down my arms, trying to ward off the chill in the air as I wandered into the library. But as I stood there, feeling a bit lost, Slater wrapped his arms around me, standing behind me as he pulled me into his embrace. “Whatever you need, Izzy…I’m here for you.”
