by Cali MacKay
I leaned back against him, even as I told myself that I was setting myself up for heartache. If he walked away once, he could easily walk away again. Yet there was another part of me, the part that had been alone for far too long, that wanted to picture us living here happily ever after, filling the space with love and laughter, and maybe even the sounds of our children playing.
I knew I was being a romantic fool. Yet it was damn hard not to want all those things when Slater was around, even if I worried that he’d break my heart. And at the moment, I felt so alone and overwhelmed…and he was the only thing keeping me from falling to pieces.
“I don’t even know where to start.” I turned to face him, my heart racing as I tried to ignore the effect he was having on me.
There was an undeniable pull between us, and I swore it wasn’t one-sided. Yet it didn’t mean I’d forgotten that he’d hurt me and simply walked away, even if I was stupidly head over heels for him and grateful that he was here with me.
As if sensing my hesitation, Slater stepped away—though that only made me want him all the more, and I half wondered if that was his plan all along. “Maybe start with her bedroom? I think it’s where most people keep personal items—unless she had an office where she spent a good portion of her time?”
“No…she was never really involved in the day-to-day running of any of the businesses that my family has stakes in. Actually, I’m not either these days, beyond my research. My father always thought it best to keep our holdings diversified, but that means it’s been hard to keep track of it all.” It’d been a smart move as far as our investments were concerned, and it’d resulted in more money than any family would need in several lifetimes, though maybe now that it was all in my control, I could make sure the money was put to better use for the greater good. Scholarships, shelters, medical research…there was so much I could do now.
“Your father was a smart man.” Slater tipped his head toward the hall, as if telling me to take the lead. “To the bedroom then.”
Of course, my mind automatically dropped into the gutter as I pictured Slater carrying me off to my bedroom—which left me annoyed once again that he’d simply walked away. “Why did you leave, Slater?”
He ran a rough hand through his hair, looking frustrated that I’d brought it up. “It’s complicated, Izzy. And I swear, I’ll tell you everything. But right now, I want to focus on finding your brother.”
“Was it because I was bad in bed? Or because it was only meant to be a one-time thing?” I crossed my arms in front of my chest. And though I probably shouldn’t be antagonizing him, given that he was helping me out, I wanted answers to the questions that had been haunting me these last few weeks.
“It had nothing to do with you, Izzy.” He closed the distance between us, cupping the back of my neck and pulling me close, his head bent to mine. “It’s because I’m an ass, and you deserve far better than the likes of me.”
Yet it didn’t stop him from catching my mouth in a kiss that I felt down to my very soul. His fingers tangled in my hair as his tongue danced over mine, making it so I could think of nothing but him taking me. Yet before long, he was slowing his kiss to a stop, though he didn’t pull away, making it impossible to ignore his hard cock as I pressed myself against his muscular body.
“Slater…I don’t know what’s holding you back or made you walk away, but I swear, all I care about is being with you.” The fact that he thought I deserved better made me feel like he was worried that I might be concerned about the differences in our financial backgrounds—which couldn’t be further from the truth.
He stepped away from me, shaking his head and looking defeated. “There are things you don’t know about me, love. Things I’ve done that I’m not proud of.”
“I don’t care. I don’t care about money, or what society will think, or what you’ve done in your past. All I care about is finding Andrew, and giving this thing between us a chance.” It didn’t have to be any more complicated than that. Because I meant what I said. I didn’t care if the gossip mill churned like crazy among the country club set. And from what I knew of Slater, I couldn’t imagine him doing anything so bad that it would change my view of him.
“Then let’s find your brother. As for the rest…I suppose we’ll eventually figure it out.” He ran his fingers down my cheek and tipped my head back, brushing his lips against mine in a teasing kiss…a kiss that had me forgetting about all my problems…a kiss that could right everything that was currently wrong in my world.
But when he started to pull away, I grabbed his shirt, fisting the fabric of my hands as I held onto him, my words spoken against his lips. “Don’t stop kissing me.”
“Baby girl…” He kissed me once, twice, and then scooped me up into his strong arms and headed for the hall. “I don’t know where I’m taking you, love.”
“Up the stairs.” With my arms wrapped around his shoulders, I nipped at his ear and dragged my teeth over the pulse in his neck, loving how he groaned in response. The rest of the directions were given between kisses and bites, though he still somehow managed to end up in my childhood bedroom—not that I had ever pictured this, even in my wildest fantasies.
The moment Slater lowered me to the bed, I pulled off my sweater and quickly undid my bra before kicking off my shoes and shimmying out of my jeans and undies, even as he rid himself of his own clothes, each article removed exposing more of his perfectly sculpted body. I knew he’d been trying to hold back and do the right thing, but I think we were both well beyond the point of denying what was between us and taking things slow.
And I was glad for it. Because I wanted him to ravage me… Wanted him to make me forget everything that was wrong, so that I could focus on what was between us since that was the only thing that felt so right.
“I need you to fuck me, Slater… Right now. And don’t you dare hold back.” I pulled him to me, his mouth hard on mine as our tongues clashed, every fiber of my being ready for him to take me.
But instead of simply taking me, he grabbed my hips in his firm grip, and effortlessly flipped me onto all fours, pressing his chest to my back as he took me from behind. He buried himself fully with a single thrust, the flicker of pain quickly easing to pleasure as he growled out a single word, his breath warm against my cheek. “Mine.”
Hearing him claim me as his own as he thrust into me sent my heart racing with an excitement I’d never felt before. Because more than anything, I wanted to be his…wanted to submit to this thing between us—wanted him to claim me in every way.
He pounded the next thrust into me, holding nothing back, almost as if he weren’t capable of it…as if there was an all-consuming force bringing us together and joining us as one.
Because there was one more thing…
He was taking me bare.
Yet it only spurred me on, my hips pushing back to meet his every thrust, desperate to take him deeper, with the full knowledge that I could easily get pregnant. But instead of being scared of such a thought, I found myself relishing it, a spark of joy coming to life inside my heart.
Because I not only wanted Slater to be in my life, I also wanted to feel his child growing inside me. I wanted a family—a family filled with happiness and love…a love that wasn’t dependent on someone’s mood. A love that wasn’t used as a power play or manipulation.
I simply wanted to be happy. And I wanted Slater.
I just hoped I wasn’t setting myself up for heartache.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Slater
After weeks apart with Izzy as my only thought, there was no holding back, and even less of a chance that I could take things slow. I knew this might be a mistake…that she might end up hating me once she knew the truth, but it was a risk I had to take. Because at some point during the last few months, I’d managed to fall in love with Izzy.
Head over heels, heart and soul.
She was my everything, and though I’d managed to walk away from her once, I didn’t ha
ve the strength to do it again. Not when she was the very beat of my heart.
I trailed kisses and bites down her neck, loving how her back arched against me, her hips pushing back to meet each thrust, taking me deeper as her hands fisted the sheets, our pace already pushing me to that delicious edge. My muscles tensed under the strain of holding myself back from coming, needing to make this last a little longer, though the thought of coming as I took her bare…the thought of filling her with my seed…only made it harder not to come and claim her as my own.
Needing this to last a little longer, I pulled free of her body and lay back against the pillows, grabbing her hips and guiding her onto my hard length as she straddled me, her tight body slipping down onto my cock until I was buried inside her once again. I gazed upon her, her red hair a tousled mess and her pink lips parting as she let out a ragged breath of satisfaction that mirrored my own, her body starting to move, rocking along my length as I thrust up into her. “You’re so fucking gorgeous, Izzy…”
I gripped her hips, pulling her deeper so that I filled her to her core, while grinding her swollen clit against the base of my cock, a needy groan escaping her lips and spurring me on.
When she spoke, her words tumbled out, not bothering to mask her need and desire. “I’m so close to coming…”
“I’ve got you, baby.” I sat up, wrapping an arm around her waist as I caught her mouth in a soul-baring kiss, overwhelmed by all she meant to me. Never had I felt this way before. Never had anyone meant so much to me. And it didn’t matter that I’d only known her for a month or two, because I’d known the truth in my heart from the moment I laid eyes on her, and no amount of time would change how I felt about her.
Yet I needed to know that she felt the same, needed to know that she would be willing to see me for who I was and overlook my past. With my head bent to hers as I continued to take her, I spoke the words that had been haunting me these last few weeks while we were apart. “I know this is crazy, but I love you, Izzy.”
I didn’t know if it was our pace or my words that set her off, but she cried out my name as she came, her body quivering in my arms and tightening around my cock. And that was all it took to push me over the edge, my cock buried deep inside her as I came, filling her with my hot cum, knowing damn well that I may have just linked our lives as one—the thought filling me with a warmth and need I hadn’t expected. I didn’t just want Izzy… I wanted her to be my everything… I wanted her to be my wife…the mother of my children. And most of all, I wanted her to love me. Unconditionally.
I brushed the hair from her face and kissed her sweetly, our bodies still linked, even as she pulled away just enough to look at me, her eyes darkening in question. “Did you really mean what you just said? Because I swear, if they were just words spoken in the heat of the moment… Then please don’t. I don’t need you toying with me.”
I couldn’t blame her for being wary and questioning how I felt about her, especially when I’d walked away from her after our first time together. But I’d had my reasons. I just had to hope that she’d forgive me when she knew the truth. “I know I was an ass—but I don’t speak those words lightly. If I tell you that I love you, then it’s because you’re my very heart. And Izzy… I’ve never spoken those words to anyone but you. I’m not playing games—and the last thing I wanted to do is hurt you.”
“Then why did you? Because the truth of the matter is that I love you, Slater. I really do. But I feel like I’m setting myself up for heartache, and I’m not sure I can deal with it, especially when it seems like I’m taking one hit after another.”
“I won’t hurt you again, Izzy. You have my word.” With my head bent to hers, I nuzzled her, catching her mouth in a sweet kiss that I hoped conveyed all the love I had for her. Yet I knew I’d soon need to tell her the truth, even if it meant losing her.
I pulled free of her body and laid us back against the pillows, holding her tightly in my arms, never wanting to let her go. Maybe if I waited a little longer to tell her…maybe then she’d know me better and would be less damning of the things I’d done in the past when my options were limited, and my family was doing all it could to leave that life behind.
I felt like a jerk keeping this from her. But it was easy enough to make excuses, when she had her hands full looking for her brother. Telling her the truth would only leave her feeling alone yet again when she needed me by her side. And I wanted to be there for her. I wanted her to know that she could trust me, no matter what. But the only way I’d succeed in doing that would be to prove to her that I was a good man who’d do right by her—and that I wasn’t the man I’d once been.
Izzy lazily ran her fingers over the ink that trailed from my arms and shoulders to my chest, her gaze finally meeting mine with a shyness that reminded me of just how sweet and inexperienced she was. “You really do love me?”
“With my very soul, love.” I took her hand and brought it to my lips, kissing it as I tightened my hold on her and she nestled deeper into my embrace, looking content and happy—something I was desperate to see more of. I kissed the top of her head, relishing the feel of her soft body pressed against mine, our legs tangled and our hearts beating as one.
She pressed a kiss to my neck and then bit that same spot, making me groan, and awakening my cock. And when she trailed her fingers down over my abs and over my hardening length, I was helpless when my cock jumped at her touch, hard once again. She kissed me, smiling against my lips, clearly pleased with the effect she was having on me. “I know we have things to do, but…”
I rolled her under me, a smile on my face as I nestled myself between her legs, ready to take her again. “But they can probably wait another hour or two.”
Chapter Twenty-Six
Isabelle
“I swear, my mother never kept anything. You’d think that after a lifetime, she’d at least have more than just a few pictures stashed away. But no…she wasn’t sentimental in the least. Was she?” I set aside the single box I’d found, frustrated with my mother once more. And I hated that my anger and frustration with her was keeping me from mourning her properly. “Don’t go thinking that our home in London is any better.”
Cupping the back of my neck, Slater pulled me close and quickly kissed the top of my head, as if to remind me that we’d find a way to figure this out. “Remember…if she did keep any info on the adoption, she wouldn’t put it where it might be easily found. In the meantime, I’m going to contact my brother and see if he can help us out. He’s usually pretty good at finding people, though I’m not sure how much luck he’ll have when we don’t really have a whole lot for him to go on.”
“I hate to drag your family into my problems, but I’d really appreciate any help.” At least with Slater at my side, it felt like there was a glimmer of hope.
“I’m going to send him all the info we have right now. See if he can access the adoption or hospital records to see if there’s any additional information there.” Slater already had his phone out and was texting his brother, sending along a snapshot of Andrew’s birth certificate. “Hopefully it won’t take him long to find some more info. Anything to give us more of a direction.”
“Will they give him the adoption records if he’s not family?” I wasn’t sure of all the legalities, but I had no doubt there would be rules put in place to protect the identities of everyone involved, on the off chance they didn’t want to be found.
“My brother doesn’t let much stand in his way when he’s looking for something.” He let out a weary sigh and sat down on the edge of the bed, grabbing my hand and pulling me to him. “Izzy…my family isn’t like most.”
“I think every family has its quirks and dysfunctions. I mean, look at mine.” I threw up my hands, blinking back the tears and hating that Slater was always having to deal with me falling apart yet again. “And from what I’ve seen, you…your mother…your cousins…you all care about each other deeply—and I’m sure it’s no different with your brothers. I, on the
other hand…”
I’d seen how his mother looked at him, with such love and caring, and it had only made me realize how much I’d missed that sort of affection. I’d had it with my father, but he’d passed so long ago. And my mother? She’d always left me wondering if having me was simply something she’d done to keep my father.
“Izzy, I know you’ve been having a hard time dealing with the sort of relationship you had with your mother. But you must know that she loved you—even if it was in her own way.” He cupped my face in his hands, pulling me to him, his lips catching mine in a whisper of a kiss. “Families are fucked up—mine included. But it doesn’t mean we don’t love each other.”
There was something bothering Slater and weighing on him heavily. That much was obvious from the tension in his shoulders and the lines creasing his brow. “What’s got you looking so worried? You can talk to me, you know.”
“I know, love. And I will. I’ll tell you everything you want to know. But for now, I want to focus on finding your brother.” Slater looked around the room. “Is there anywhere else your mom might stash things away from view?”
I mulled it over, trying to think. Where would she hide something that was both a secret and yet incredibly personal? “Her closet maybe? It’s certainly big enough.”
We wandered into the closet, which really was the size of a studio apartment, the walls lined with shelves of clothes, shoes, and handbags, along with walls of dresses and separates, all neatly hung. I didn’t see anything obvious, though I supposed her hat boxes might hold a few secrets.
“Right here, love.” Slater had pushed aside a row of blouses to reveal a wall safe—one of the old-fashioned kind with the dial, since chances were good the safe had been there for the better part of a century. “Don’t suppose you know the combination?”
