Seaglass

by Bridges, Chris

  Knox reached out and took the brightly colored pamphlets from him. “Okay. Thanks.”

  “I’ll have my office give you a call for a follow-up visit.”

  Knox nodded and thankfully the doctor returned to his office and shut the door.

  “What the heck was that about?” Kayla asked as they walked down the hallway toward the elevator.

  “Not now.”

  “Knox—“

  “Can we just get out of here first?” He asked tiredly.

  Kayla was about to protest when the elevator doors opened and revealed a small crowd of people. She and Knox stepped forward and rode silently down to the garage level.

  Once safely inside the car, she turned to him. “Okay, spill it.”

  “Kay—“

  “Please Knox. You’re shaking. What did he say?”

  Knox didn’t answer except to thrust the pamphlets in her direction. He leaned his head back on the headrest and closed his eyes as he listened to Kayla thumbing through the paperwork.

  “Your eyes are bad enough that it’s time for this?” She said as she held up the brochure for the Colorado Center for the Blind.

  “They got worse, but no one seems to know how much worse they’re gonna get. He thinks I should be prepared—“his voice cracked.

  “Oh Knox.” She said; tears shimmering in her own eyes. “What are you gonna do?”

  “I don’t know.”

  xXx

  Knox ran on the treadmill at full speed and relished in the fact that he could fully expand his lungs without even the hint of pain. It had been more than two months since the accident and it was all but a memory—at least for him. He knew Maddie still carted guilt around her neck like a millstone. She’d kept him away from her new jobsite, a rundown, turn of the century colonial on the edge of town, with various excuses. It seemed to ease her mind to know that he was safe and sound tucked away in his house, so he’d relented, for now.

  “Knox?”

  He hit the stop button on the machine and let it slow down. Hopping off, he grabbed a towel and slung it around his neck.

  “Knox?”

  “Back here, Kay.” He said as he glugged down water.

  “You’re all sweaty.” She said as she made a face.

  As usual, she looked like she’d just drifted in on an autumn breeze. Today, it was a rust colored dress with a kind of spiky belt at her waist.

  “What’s up sis?”

  “I came to get Maddie. I’m showing her some new potential flips.” She said as she practically danced around the center island of the kitchen.

  “She went out for bagels. She’ll be back in a few minutes.”

  “I guess your ribs are all better.” She gestured to him with her water bottle she’d gotten out of his fridge.

  “Yep. Good as new.”

  “What about your eyes? How are they?” She asked.

  Knox knew she wouldn’t let it go. His sister was like a dog with a bone sometimes. “Fine.”

  “Fine?”

  “Yeah. Fine.” He challenged.

  “Knox—“

  He was about to tell her to mind her own business when they both turned at the sound of the screen door opening and Maddie’s voice carrying through. The odd tone in her voice caught his attention immediately and he rounded the corner to see her with her cell cradled against her shoulder.

  “I understand.”

  “I’ll be on the first flight.”

  “Dad—“

  “That’s not fair.”

  “I’m not discussing that.”

  “I’ll see you then.”

  “What is it?” The brother and sister asked simultaneously.

  Maddie pulled the phone away from her ear and stared at it; unsure of what she was supposed to do with it.

  “My mother.” She said simply.

  “Is she…” Knox trailed off.

  “She’s dying.”

  xXx

  Madeline sat on the plane feeling decidedly numb. Her mother had been readmitted to the hospital and given only weeks to live. Her heart was failing. She tried to conjure up an emotion and came up empty. She loved her mother fiercely, but those were childhood feelings. It was only as she got older did she learn the truth that her mother’s love had limits.

  Of course it didn’t make the love any less real, but still, it was not enough.

  She’d asked her mother point blank once why she hadn’t protected her from her father. He’d mentally and emotionally abused her for most of her life and her mother had borne witness to it all, yet she’d never intervened. When Madeline had finally mustered up the courage to confront her mother, she’d turned it around on Madeline and berated her for lying and exaggerating.

  Once she’d begun intensive therapy, she’d learned all about the mental games her family played on each other and on themselves. Her mother was the classic ‘enabler.’ She smoothed the waters and made excuses. When that didn’t work, she launched attacks of her own using weapons like blaming the victim, rewriting history, and denial.

  Madeline had given up on ever getting through to her mother. She’d tried to love her and forgive her for not protecting her, but it had been hard—in fact it had been all but impossible. Now, her mother was dying, but to Madeline, it felt like she’d been dead for years.

  She gathered her things and exited the aircraft searching for her brother. It only took a moment to spot him; his expensive suit and haircut, his shiny shoes. He looked exactly like their father. Madeline exhaled deeply and walked to meet him.

  “Looking a little lesbian, aren’t we?”

  Madeline looked down at her attire. She was still wearing the jeans and flannel shirt she’d dressed in this morning when she thought she’d be house hunting with Kayla. The thought of sitting in Kayla’s car, brought an immediate stab of tears to her eyes.

  “Good to see you too, Peter.” She responded dryly, shoring up her emotions and putting on her best game face.

  “Let’s get your luggage so you can change before you see mom.”

  “Yes, wardrobe is of the upmost importance when visiting someone on their deathbed.” She retorted as she walked ahead of him toward baggage claim.

  xXx

  Madeline stepped into her mother’s hospital room. It was cast in shadow with the only light coming from a small lamp on the bedside table.

  Her mother lay completely flat on the bed with only a single pillow under her head. Her small body was so still. Madeline moved around the foot of the bed and sat near her mother’s head as she slept. She looked so different. Usually a nervous woman whose hands were perpetually in motion, now she seemed so peaceful and quiet. It was all together unsettling.

  “Madeline?”

  Madeline stood up moved forward so that she could see her mother’s face.

  “Hi mom.”

  “What are you doing here?”

  Madeline was taken aback. “I came to see you.”

  “There’s no need. I’m fine.” She said with an air of annoyance.

  “I’m still glad I’m here.” She smiled as she reached out and touched her mother’s hand. It felt strangely boney in her grasp. “How are you?”

  “She’s in need of rest. That’s how she is.” Her father’s precise, haughty voice answered from the doorway.

  “Hi Dad.”

  “I certainly hope you haven’t upset your mother.”

  Madeline stood up tall and crossed her arms over her chest. “I can’t imagine how seeing me would upset her.”

  Madeline watched as her father raised an eyebrow. “That depends on the circumstances of your return.”

  “James.” Her mother said sternly, with strength that belayed her condition.

  Madeline watched the tiniest emotion cross her father’s face as whatever miniscule power her mother still wielded took hold.

 
“I think you should go.” James spoke.

  Madeline said nothing in response but bent down and kissed the top of her mother’s head.

  “I’ll see you tomorrow, Mom.”

  She straightened up and walked slowly past her father and into the hallway. She expected him to follow her and she was not disappointed.

  “You’re not welcome here if you’re going to cause upset.”

  She kept herself calm and schooled her features not to show the devastation his words were causing internally. She knew words were his preferred weapon and she was determined not to give him the satisfaction of seeing her flinch.

  “I’m not here for you.” She responded with as much disinterest as she could muster.

  “I’ll have you banned from returning.”

  Now, she stopped and turned. In response, she only raised an eyebrow; a trick of intimidation she’d learned well at his heels.

  “Don’t try and cross me.”

  She didn’t even turn back to face him. She knew she was getting under his skin. The sad fact was that had not been her intention. All she wanted to do was spend a few quiet moments alone with her mother, but as had been his habit their entire lives, he injected himself into every facet of their relationship.

  Madeline guessed it was only fitting that her mother was dying the exact same way that she’d lived; totally and completely under his thumb. She’d dealt with her grief over her mother’s lack of ability to protect her a long, long time ago. Still, there were moments it reared up and grabbed her by the throat. A mother was supposed to put their child’s safety first. And her mother hadn’t.

  Her therapist, Dr. Carey, had tried to explain to her that her mother came from a different time; a different era. She didn’t have the same opportunities and choices. Madeline understood, but she could never forgive. Her mother had stood there, silent, while her father had ripped her to shreds throughout her childhood.

  She burst through the doors of the hospital and into the crisp autumn weather of New York. It was milder than Colorado, but there was still a bite in the air. She zipped up her fleece jacket and walked to the parking lot to retrieve her rental car and pulled out her phone, dialing Knox immediately.

  “Maddie?”

  “Hi.” She said and felt herself sinking into his comforting voice.

  “How are you?”

  “I hate it here.”

  “I know. I wish you’d let me come with you.”

  “Knox, there’s no point yet. When she…” Madeline felt her voice hitch, but pressed on. “When she dies…they’ll be time then.”

  “I just don’t like you dealing with those assholes alone.”

  She let out a watery laugh. “I’m okay. I’m tough.”

  “Yeah. You are.”

  She could feel his love through the phone. “How are you?”

  “Fine. Nothing going on here.”

  “God, that sounds wonderful.” She sighed with happiness thinking about the perfect little town waiting for her. “I’d better go. I still have to find a hotel.”

  “You’re not staying with your family?”

  “Let’s just say I’d rather walk barefoot across broken glass.”

  “Got it. Hey Maddie?”

  “Take care of yourself.”

  “You too.”

  xXx

  “When are you going to tell her about your eyes Knox?” Kayla said as she watched him drown his French fries in ketchup.

  “Well, obviously not now. She’s a little preoccupied.”

  “I know.” She said as she pointedly spooned up her cottage cheese. “How’s she holding up?”

  Knox pushed back his plate in a gesture of frustration. “I don’t know. She sounds horrible.”

  “Poor thing. I can’t believe this has gone on for almost a month.”

  “I never thought I’d wish for someone to die, but—“

  “No, I get it. I was thinking the same thing.”

  “It’s not good for her…being there.”

  “How’s her father treating her?”

  “She doesn’t really talk about it. I feel like I’m prying.”

  “Do you think you should just get on a plane?”

  “I asked her that, but she said to wait. I don’t want to keep asking. If she wanted me there, she’d let me come.”

  “I don’t think she knows what she wants.”

  “Maybe.” He balled up his napkin and threw it on his plate. “I gotta get back to work.”

  “Me too. The Hudsons are listing their place with me. Moving to Florida.”

  “Wow. That’s great Kay.”

  “I’m happy to have the listing but I think it’ll be an uphill battle.” She paused for effect. “They’re hoarders.”

  “Really? I never would’ve guessed it.”

  “Yeah and they’re really sensitive about the stuff. Every time I suggest thinning things out, they freak.”

  “Good luck.” He said as he unfolded his long limbs from the booth.

  “Knox, don’t think I didn’t notice your total dodge of the subject I wanted to talk about.”

  “Noted.” He smiled as he walked away and out the door.

  Kayla scoffed at him and then ate the rest of his fries.

  Chapter 9

  “She’s dead.”

  Knox felt a jolt go through the phone, as if he’d been shocked by it, rather than by the sound of her voice.

  “I’m sor—“

  “You don’t have to say that. I’m fine.”

  “Okay.” He exhaled slowly.

  “Funeral’s tomorrow.”

  “Tomorrow? Okay. Let me see if I can book a flight for tonight—“

  “You don’t have to come. It’s fine.”

  Knox could feel his patience growing thin. “Do you want me there?”

  “I mean…it’s just such short notice…he did it on purpose, you know.”

  Knox could hear the exasperation and exhaustion in her voice. “Maddie? Do you want me there?”

  He held the phone tightly to his ear, waiting. He heard her clear her throat and realized she was crying. He closed his eyes and wished like hell he could leap across the country in a single bound and hold her tight. He wanted to be there for her, but more importantly, he wanted her to want that.

  Finally, after clearing her throat a second time, she replied.

  “Yes.”

  He released a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. I’ll call you when I land.”

  xXx

  “Well, I gotta hand it to ‘um, they picked a beauty of a funeral home.” Ed said as he and his son walked side by side up the front steps of the Greenbriar Funeral Home.

  Knox’s only response was a grunt. He was concentrating on the ground beneath his feet and hoping against hope that he wouldn’t trip and make a fool of himself. When his father had insisted on coming, he’d felt like a child that couldn’t do anything by himself anymore, but then Ed reminded him, a little sternly, that Madeline was his friend too and he wanted to be there for her as much as for his son.

  “What’s the plan?” Ed asked as he pulled open the heavy mahogany door.

  “Private service for family only until ten o’clock. Then open to the public before heading over to the church.

  Ed positioned them in a corner of the richly appointed lobby. Knox looked around wondering how and why all these people would come. Didn’t they know the Roberts family’s dirty little secret? It made him seethe with rage that behind the closed double doors was a precious woman that they’d treated worse than a dog for her whole life. This was nothing but a show for the crowd.

  Finally, the doors were opened by two identically dressed men with appropriately subdued demeanors. The crowd was instructed to form a line and proceed to the casket, and quickly move along. Ed and Knox walked over and stood in line.

&nbs
p; Soon, they entered the main room and the cloying scent of funeral flowers assaulted his senses. He could make out the casket at the front of the room atop a platform. He turned his head and sucked in a hard breath as his eyes locked onto Madeline’s. Of course he couldn’t see her clearly, but he knew—in his heart he knew she was looking directly into his eyes too.

  The great expanse of the room kept conversation impossible for the moment, but he didn’t need to speak to her. Her eyes said enough. He wished he could’ve leapt across the rows of chairs and pulled her into his arms. He wanted more than anything to spirit her away from here—from all the anger and hostility that bubbled just beneath the surface of a carefully constructed façade.

  Instead, he shuffled along until he was face to face with Maddie’s dead mother. It hit him hard that Maddie looked like her mother. The bones of the face were similar and Knox found himself wondering if Maddie’s mother had the same brilliant blue eyes as her daughter. Well, it wasn’t worth wondering. Whatever might’ve been was too late now. Instead, he knelt alongside Ed on the kneeler provided and said a quick prayer. He didn’t feel the least bit bad that he did not pray for the recently departed, but instead for her daughter. It was a prayer and a promise. From this moment on, he’d do the job they’d failed so miserably to do themselves. He’d love and cherish Madeline Roberts for the rest of their lives.

  Ed and Knox rose from the casket and followed the line of mourners until they were face to face with the family. This was Knox’s first chance to get a close up view of Madeline’s father. He was surprised by the man’s short stature. His daughter seemed to tower over him. Knox spared the widower a brief handshake and a mumbled word of condolence before he turned to Maddie. He didn’t speak; he only opened his arms and let her come to him. She didn’t hesitate. He felt those lean, taut arms wrap around his neck and hold tight.

  “I’m so happy you’re here.” She whispered into his ear.

  “Me too.” He answered as she slid back from him and released him. He watched as her eyes tracked to the left and landed on his dad.

  “Ed.” Her voice was strangled and Knox could clearly see the surprise in her face. “Ed, you didn’t have to come all this way—“