Seaglass

by Bridges, Chris

  Knox watched as the shadow figure of his father came barreling into the house, loaded down with groceries and packages. The scene was mostly a happy one. Kayla would be along shortly with the twins and they were all going to make homemade pizzas together. If it hadn’t been for Madeline’s brief touch, he thought he maybe just might be able to get on with his life. But no. She’d touched him…and he’d felt it. And that had been enough for him to realize that he might never completely get over Madeline Roberts.

  Chapter 17

  “Are you sure about this Madeline?” Victor Maslow asked for the third time.

  Madeline looked up into the older man’s eyes. His hair was white as snow and his face sagged a bit here and there, but his hazel eyes remained laser sharp. Victor Maslow was her lawyer, recommended by an old friend of her grandmother’s to help her fight her father’s claim that her inheritance was actually rightfully his.

  “I’m positive.”

  “If you sign over your inheritance now, there’s no going back.”

  “I understand.”

  “There’s a chance if this went to court, you’d win.”

  “I know, but there’s a chance I’d lose and either way, the legal bills would most likely eat up the entire inheritance anyway.”

  “Not all, but a good portion, yes.” He nodded.

  “I want this to be over. I need it to be over.” She said.

  Victor shuffled the papers on his immaculate cherry desk. “Then all you have to do is sign here.” He passed a single sheet of paper across the desk to her and handed her his Mont blanc pen. She took it at once and scrawled her name quickly. She immediately felt lighter.

  “Thank you Victor.”

  “If you don’t mind me saying so, I think you did a brave thing.”

  Madeline looked up and into his eyes. There was wisdom there, but also something else; compassion and understanding. She’d almost forgotten what those felt like.

  “I don’t want to fight anymore. I want to be free.” She stood up and smoothed her skirt.

  “I’d say you’ve achieved that.”

  “I’ll be sure to send you my forwarding address.” She extended her hand and waited for the older man to rise. He grasped her hand and shook it firmly.

  “Good luck, young lady.”

  “Thanks.” She smiled and left the office.

  Even as she climbed back into her car, she could feel herself changing. Unlike the last time she left this place, she wasn’t running. Now, there was no going back. The old Madeline didn’t exist anymore. She was shedding this skin and fully becoming the person she knew she could be.

  She kicked off the heels and peeled off the expensive suit jacket. She folded it carefully and tucked it in the back among the few suitcases containing all she owned in the world. She was completely on her own now. No one else to catch her if she fell. She smiled as she headed out of town and west. She’d find a small town somewhere on the way and get a job. Hopefully she’d earn enough to be able to save up for her trip back to Colorado.

  xXx

  “Thanks for coming over.” He said as he pushed open the back door of the kitchen to let her in.

  “I brought donuts.” Hannah responded brightly “And coffee.”

  “You didn’t have to do that.” Knox asked as he came around the breakfast bar and got out two plates.

  “Just save me the jelly. It’s my favorite.”

  Knox closed his eyes as the memory of Maddie swam to the forefront of his brain. It was right after they’d had sex for the first time. He’d bought donuts for them before they set off for the little craftsman house. His eyes weren’t that bad then, but he’d managed to embarrass himself when he couldn’t locate the box. She’d handled it—and him in her no nonsense manner. Things that should’ve been hard and awkward were simple and easy. Unfortunately the things that should’ve been easy had turned out to be hard…too hard for them both.

  “I was beginning to worry when you kept sending my calls to voicemail.”

  “I’ve been busy with work.” He said as he led the way back to the kitchen.

  “The china cabinet? How’s it coming?” She asked sweetly as she began unpacking coffee cups and donuts.

  Knox had to hand it to her; she was pulling out all the stops. In the two months he’d been dating her, she’d never shown the slightest interest in his projects. Now, she was all ears it seemed.

  “Fine. Just needs another coat of lacquer.”

  “That’s the clear coat, right?”

  “Yeah. That’s right.” He said as he snagged a coffee cup. Knox opened the lid and sniffed. French Vanilla. This was her favorite flavor, but definitely not his.

  “This is yours.” He held out the cup to her.

  “They’re both the same.”

  Knox said nothing but returned the cup to the counter.

  “So, what’s up?” She swiveled her barstool to face him. “You sounded serious on the phone.”

  “I’ve been having second thoughts about us getting involved again.”

  Hannah said nothing as she slowly swiveled her chair back and forth.

  “There’s just a lot of history there. And I don’t think I can—“

  “I wondered if this was coming. You want to break up, don’t you?”

  “I just think we’re too different…at least too different from who we used to be.”

  “I told you that I’m okay…with your eye problems though.”

  He smiled inwardly. That had actually been the furthest thing from his mind. “Yeah, and I appreciate that.”

  “This is kind of surreal considering the reason we broke up the first time.”

  “Yeah, I realized that too.”

  Hannah slowly stood up and touched his hand where is lay on the counter top. “I’d better go.”

  “I’m sorry—“

  “You shouldn’t be. It’s okay.”

  “Take care of yourself Hannah.”

  “You too.” She stood on her tiptoes and kissed him lightly before letting go and walking to the back door. “Oh, and Knox?”

  “Yeah?” He called as he moved toward the door.

  “Whoever she is, she did a hell of a number on you.” And with that, Hannah was gone. Knox stood there for several moments, unmoving. Well, he certainly didn’t need Hannah to tell him that. He knew that fact very well, but what good was it dredging up the past? Maddie was gone…

  The grief swelled in him unexpectedly. For just the briefest of moments he let himself remember Maddie’s sweet scent and that long, sable colored ponytail as it swished past him. Then he shook his head and returned to the kitchen to clean up.

  xXx

  “Here’s your nametag.”

  Maddie held out her hand and then affixed the badge with her name above the pocket of her waitress uniform.

  “Lunch rush starts in an hour.”

  “Okay.”

  “Let me know if you need help, but it’s a pretty straightforward gig.” The short, balding man laughed at his own joke and walked away.

  Maddie smiled as she familiarized herself with the menu. She’d done it. She’d actually done it. Well, she hadn’t done it yet, but she’d taken the first few steps. She’d left her parents’ home behind. She’d used her meager savings to buy a used car and had gotten as far as Pennsylvania before her money ran low enough to make her nervous. She’d located a room for rent above a dry cleaner and had gotten a waitressing job at what appeared to be a busy diner. Maddie was officially on her way to Touchstone. It would take time to save up enough money, but there was no turning back. She was going to make it.

  xXx

  Knox walked out onto his front porch and waited for his sister. Today she was working in the real estate office down the street from his house and had asked if he’d like to go to lunch with her. Knox had agreed, but then told Kayla to come down to his house fi
rst. She didn’t ask why, and that alone was telling. Knox pressed his lips together in an attempt to quiet the storm of frustration that boiled under the surface. He wasn’t fooling anyone.

  He’d done all his rehab like a good little boy. He’d listened. He’d learned. He’d practiced. But the implementing…that was the killer part. Half the damn town knew about his dwindling eyesight, but still he held onto that shred of stubborn pride with a gator-like grip.

  It was still painfully cold outside and Knox wished Kayla would hurry up already. Of course, that thought was immediately accompanied by guilt that he was making her walk down the street to retrieve him only to reverse course and walk back to the diner. If he’d just use his cane, he could meet her there. He’d thought about it. Hell, he’d even gone as far as unfurling it today, but then he’d folded it back up and put it in the top draw of the table in the foyer.

  “I’m starving. Let’s go.” Kayla barked from the sidewalk.

  Knox walked down the stairs towards the blurry blob with the bright yellow hair. He felt her hand bump into his so that he could latch on to her arm right above her elbow. As soon as she felt his hand in the familiar spot, she took off at a brisk pace.

  “How’s work?” He tried for distraction.

  “Good. Busy. I have a closing tomorrow and I need to prep.”

  “If you want to skip lunch, it’s okay…”

  “I don’t want to skip.” She said through clenched teeth, from both the cold and her frustration at Knox’s unwillingness to be seen about town with his cane.

  “Don’t worry. I’ll eat quick.” He responded, matching her tone.

  xXx

  Kayla looked over at him as he picked at the second half of his burger. It was highly unusual for him not to polish off his lunch and try and steal bits of hers. Now that she thought about it, she realized he’d definitely been eating less and judging from the looks of his clothes lately, he’d lost weight.

  “Are you okay?” She asked.

  Knox looked up at her, puzzled. “Yeah. Are you?” He retorted.

  “You look thinner. Are you sick or something?”

  Now he snorted as he balled up his napkin and tossed it on his plate. “Nope. I’m fine.”

  “Are you depressed?”

  “Not especially. Are you?”

  “Knock it off. I’m being serious. You look depressed. Is it because of Hannah? She shouldn’t have—“

  “No, it’s not Hannah.”

  “Then what?” She asked imploringly.

  “Nothing, Kay. I’m fine.”

  “Knox—“

  “Are you done? I need to get back to work.”

  Kayla didn’t say anything as she took a last sip of her diet soda and slid out of the booth. She touched his hand and when he’d gotten a grip on her arm, they moved forward to the cashier and paid their bill.

  Outside on the sidewalk, they each took a moment to zip their coats and don their gloves.

  “I guess winter isn’t done yet.” Knox said, trying for levity.

  Kayla turned to him and watched him as he looked around at the mostly empty street. She had no idea how much he could see, but she guessed by the way he held tight to her arm, it wasn’t much.

  “Knox?”

  He turned to face her, already knowing he wasn’t going to like whatever it was she was planning on saying.

  “I think you need more help.”

  “Kay—“

  “No. I’m not going to let you talk. You’ll only end up turning my words around. I’m serious.” She paused and took a breath. “You need to use your cane…or get a dog. This has gone on long enough.”

  “Sorry I’m not complying with your timeline.” He snapped at her.

  She recoiled at his tone, but stood her ground. “If the situation were reversed, you’d be saying the same thing to me.”

  “Maybe. Maybe not.”

  “And you need to see somebody—a psychologist.”

  “Now you’re the one who’s nuts. I don’t need a—“

  “Knox!” She growled out of sheer frustration. “Enough. You‘re a mess. Ever since Maddie came to visit you’ve been living like a shut in! This is your life we’re talking about.” She said, voice trembling.

  Knox held in his response until the couple entering the diner passed them. “Can we please discuss this later?”

  “No.”

  “Kay, I appreciate your stance here, but I don’t want the whole town knowing my business.”

  Kayla turned suddenly and realized they were making a bit of a scene. She quickly touched his hand and led him back down the street towards his house.

  “Here.” She announced when they’d reached the fence bordering the front of his property. “I’ve got to get back.”

  Knox mentally kicked himself for putting such a sad tone in her voice. “Come in for a few minutes. It’s cold.”

  “I know it’s cold.” She snapped, and then softened. “I really do have to get back.”

  “Okay.”

  “I’ll call you later.”

  “I know you will.”

  That had gotten a quick burst of laughter out of her and Knox felt the lump in his chest ease a bit. He hated hurting her, even if she needed to mind her own business. How could he tell her everything when he didn’t even understand it himself?

  Knox walked through his house and back outside to his workshop. He’d been plodding along on a new design for a desk. It’d been slow going, but after the dollhouse experiment had gone well, he’d worked up enough guts to try out full sized projects again.

  He’d discovered that the right lighting and angle gave him his clearest vision, so even though it took quite a bit of maneuvering, he could still manage to see what he was working on. He smiled as he stripped off his parka and gloves and donned his protective gear; if only the world could fit under his lamps in here. Then he could still see them.

  Knox worked for hours and lost himself in the feel of the wood grain beneath his fingertips. It soothed the burr in his heart, and it also gave him time to think clearly. He shouldn’t have been angry with Kayla. She only wanted the best for him and if he were being truthful, he’d definitely let himself go after Maddie left.

  He’d been staying up late, sleeping late, drinking and eating whenever the mood struck, which wasn’t often. Christmas had come and gone and taken Maddie away with it. He’d tried to shore himself up for her visit. He’d tried to keep an emotional distance from her, but he’d been kidding himself. When she left again, it ripped him apart—again. This time, he was not only brokenhearted, he was supremely pissed at himself for being foolish enough to think they’d fall into each other’s arms and everything would be right with the world.

  He’d blamed her. She was the one that left. It was her fault for giving up. Even as he had this conversation with himself, another part of him was whispering the truth. It was his fault too. He’d come to the table with baggage, as had she, but she’d been dealing with it. Even now, she was working on taking back her life and leaving her family and New York behind. What was he doing?

  Hiding. The ugly truth was there. He’d been hiding. First, he’d ignored his failing vision. Then he’d used Maddie’s issues as an escape hatch. When she’d gone and there was nowhere left to hide, he’d let his family dictate the right course of action. He’d acted the part. Taken the classes. Learned the lessons. But he told himself he was doing it for them. To make them feel better. Deep down, he believed he’d always have enough residual vision to get by. He didn’t actually need any help. God, he’d been a fool.

  Knox grabbed his cell phone from his pocket and called Kayla.

  “Knox, I’m super busy—can I call you later—“

  “Yeah. I mean no. Listen, I’m sorry about being an ass at lunch.” He quickly rushed on before she had a chance to interrupt. “And also, I think you’re right—I think I’d
like to talk to someone. Do you know anyone?”

  Knox listened to the complete silence on the other end of the phone. “Hello?”

  “Sorry. I’m just stunned.”

  “I know. I’ve had a bit of a mini-breakthrough here. Do you know someone or not? I want to call before I change my mind.”

  “Knox!”

  He could hear shuffling on the phone.

  “Okay. I know someone. I’ll text you his name and number.”

  “His? It’s a guy?”

  “Is that a problem?”

  “No. I mean, I just figured it’d be a woman.”

  “I think you’ll like him. Give it a chance, okay?”

  “Yeah. Whatever.”

  “Good.” She said with a hint of smugness in her voice that he chose to ignore.

  xXx

  A month later, Knox stepped out of the cab feeling decidedly lighter. He attributed it to the slight change in weather. The thermometer had finally moved out of ‘torturous’ and into the category of ‘slightly less painful.’ In fact, today Knox was wearing his lighter parka. He opened his cane and tapped it twice on the ground to make sure it was locked into position. Then he squared himself up with the cab (after checking with the driver that he was parked directly in front of the medical complex—he’d made the mistake of not checking once which had led to an embarrassing encounter with a dumpster,) and proceeded to walk the thirty seven steps to the front doors. Once inside, he moved to the staircase on the right and walked up three flights. Then down the hallway on the left to the third door on the right.

  Of course, he could vaguely see where he was going, but he was done relying solely on his residual vision. He thought of his eyes now as little pranksters. They could be useful sometimes, but it was best not to completely believe them.

  As he pushed open the door and settled into the small waiting area, he decided that his improved mood was definitely due solely to the change in weather and not to his recent visits with Dr. Dan Stendahl. Knox liked to think of himself as someone that had a good grip on his emotions, but somehow Dan, as he liked to be called, quickly got through whatever armor he’d put in place. At first, it unsettled him and left him feeling like he’d been betrayed, but soon, he realized Dan’s office was a safe place to talk. Of course talking had never come easy, but he’d tried.