by Kat Mizera
Jared looked over at his former father-in-law and gave a slight nod of his head. The older man hesitated but then nodded his acceptance.
“Sure, kiddo. Let’s go for ice cream.”
“I already packed up his stuff,” Roger called after them.
“Asshole,” Jared muttered under his breath.
“You said a bad word,” Braden replied, looking up at him with renewed interest. “Mommy won’t let me say those words.”
“That’s because you’re a kid. Once you’re a grown-up, you can say whatever you want.”
“My dad always says those words. Especially when I’m bad.”
Jared bristled. “He calls you names?”
Braden nodded. “He calls me a little bas—”
“That’s okay, buddy,” his grandfather interrupted. “We get the idea.”
The two men exchanged glances, understanding passing between them. Jared had always liked Rudy Pasternak. Rudy had come to Jared after Elsa had left and apologized, said she was immature and making a huge mistake. Unfortunately, he hadn’t cared enough to tell Jared he was going to have a kid.
Rudy directed him to a small ice cream shop a few miles away and they walked inside. Jared got cups of ice cream for all of them and they settled at a small table by the window.
“This is yummy,” Braden said, putting a huge spoonful in his mouth and getting chocolate all over his face.
“Napkin, Braden,” Rudy said, handing him one.
Jared watched in fascination as the child inhaled his ice cream and then, without a word, bolted for the play area in the back of the store.
“He’s got a lot of energy,” Rudy said by way of explanation. “Never stops moving. He’s a handful.”
“Roger’s a prick,” Jared replied, not particularly concerned that his comment wasn’t in response to anything Rudy had said. “Why the fuck did she marry a guy like that?”
Rudy sighed. “Elsa went through a hard time after she left you.”
“She went through a hard time?” Jared raised an eyebrow.
“I know, son. You have every right to be mad, but I just lost my daughter, so maybe give me a little break, even if you can’t forgive her.”
“She left without telling me she was pregnant, with over a million dollars. How did she blow through all of that?”
“First guy she met after the ink was dry on the divorce papers was Roger. At the time she was living in a sweet condo, with all that fancy furniture you two had. She was pregnant, but I think he thought he was catching a ride on the money train. They spent all your money in the blink of an eye…” His voice trailed off.
“And then?”
“Then he started nagging her about getting more alimony, pushing her to call you and ask for stuff. He wanted her to tell you about Braden but she refused, said she wouldn’t marry him if he didn’t want to raise Braden. So he married her, and by the time she got pregnant with Carly, they were beyond broke. That’s why she asked you for that money, right before Carly was born. She didn’t have insurance and was afraid.”
“I sent her money.”
“I know. I’m grateful.” He stared off at nothing, his eyes watering slightly. “She wasn’t a bad girl, you know? Just a little immature and selfish. She thought you’d change your mind about having a kid and when you didn’t, she panicked.”
Jared ran a hand over his face, unsure how to respond to that. Elsa had hurt him but he hadn’t wanted her dead. Now he couldn’t decipher what he was feeling or what to do, so he stared at where Braden was playing by himself in a pit filled with brightly colored balls.
“You gotta know, Jared, he’s more than a handful.”
“What do you mean?”
“I think he’s got that autism stuff.”
“Autism?” Jared narrowed his eyes. “He doesn’t seem autistic to me. If anything, probably ADHD.”
“I don’t know.” The man waved a hand. “But they didn’t have insurance and Roger wouldn’t let her get him tested. But you should.”
“I’m starting a job in two weeks on the other side of the country,” Jared said in a clipped voice. “I don’t have a place to live, furniture, or a babysitter. I don’t know what the hell you expect me to do here.”
“You’re going to be the new head coach out there in Vegas,” Rudy said, nodding. “You’ll be making money and can find a nanny.”
“That’s great. So not only did I miss the first nine years of my son’s life, now I’m going to have to pay someone else to raise him.”
The two men glared at each other.
“I can’t do it,” Rudy snapped. “I’m in the early stages of dementia.”
“Fuck.” Jared took a breath. “I’m sorry, Rudy. What can I do?”
“Look, why don’t you and Braden sleep at the house tonight, give him one night to get used to you?”
“I wasn’t planning to take him just yet,” Jared said slowly. “I thought I’d spend a few days here, with him still living at home, to give him time to get used to me.”
Rudy sighed. “Roger’s not a good guy, in case you hadn’t noticed. I’d rather you have Braden than him. Even if it’s a little hard on him initially, it’ll be much better for him in the long run. You’re a good man, Jared. I told Elsa she was making a mistake, repeatedly, but she was stubborn. I think maybe she thought you’d chase her.”
“I couldn’t even walk when she left,” Jared grunted. “I was in rehab centers and physical therapy for six months.”
“I know, son. I know.”
“Grandpa, can I have a dollar?”
“What for?” Rudy asked him.
“The pinball machine.”
“Here you go.” Jared pulled a dollar from his wallet and handed it to him. Braden bounded off again and he watched him before turning to Rudy. “What I don’t understand is, why didn’t you tell me?”
21
Rudy pressed his lips together. “Because she asked me not to. She said you wouldn’t want the baby, that you were already messed up enough and she didn’t want to screw up your life any worse than it was. I don’t know what I was thinking, but my daughter was pregnant and alone and I thought she knew what was best.”
“What about what was best for the baby?” Jared demanded quietly. “Having a father isn’t important? I mean, you’d have killed anyone who tried to keep you from your daughter.”
“I know. I made a mistake, Jared, and I’m sorry.”
“And now…” Jared waved a hand in the direction Braden had gone. “Now I’ve got to pick up the pieces of this poor kid’s life, something I’m wholly unprepared to do.”
“You’ll figure it out. You’re smart and successful, with a good head on your shoulders. You’ll do right by the boy.”
Jared sighed. He had no comeback because there weren’t any other options. There was no other family that he knew of and if Rudy couldn’t take him, that left Jared. His father. Something he’d never wanted to be.
“What about you?” he asked at last.
“What about me?”
“Who’s taking care of you?”
“I’m putting the house up for sale. Doc says I might have a couple of years left, and between my social security, my pension and what I make on the house, I figure I can get a place at one of those assisted-living facilities. You live on your own until you can’t and then they move you to a section with more care. You can choose the level of help you need and once you’re in, they do what has to be done.”
“If you need anything, you know you can come to me, right?”
“I don’t need money, son. I just need to know you’re doing right by Braden. He’s all I have left in this world and I’d take him in a heartbeat if I could.”
Jared nodded, suddenly overwhelmed with emotions he wasn’t used to and a sadness he hadn’t been expecting.
“If you could send me pictures now and again, that would make an old man happy.”
“We’ll come to see you in the summer,” Jared said
. “Assuming I live that long. Jesus Christ, Rudy, how the hell am I going to be a dad at this stage in my life? I don’t know the first thing about taking care of a kid.”
“How we all did it—you just do.”
Jared spent the next few days at Rudy’s house with Braden. The house was old and in need of repairs, so he did what he could to help while he was there. Braden seemed content to play video games, watch TV, or ride his bike outside. He never stopped moving unless he was watching video games, and after the first day, he also never stopped talking.
He was an adorable mix of both Jared and Elsa, with Jared’s coloring but Elsa’s features and sweet smile. Jared thought he was tall for his age, but with his limited experience with kids, he wasn’t sure. He often found himself staring, trying to ascertain what it meant to be this boy’s father, the person responsible for everything from buying him clothes to keeping him safe to teaching him to be a man. It was a little trippy to think about, but how could he not? The urge to strangle Elsa for her deception still hadn’t passed and there wasn’t a lot he could do to make the resentment go away. How could she do this to him? And more than that, how could she do it to their son?
“Did you used to play hockey?” Braden asked Jared on their third night together, while they were eating dinner at a local restaurant.
“I did.”
“What position? Were you a goalie?”
“No, I was a forward. I played center.”
“What’s that mean?”
“It means I was the guy taking all the face-offs.”
“What are face-offs?”
“It’s when the referee drops the puck and the center from the other team and I fight for control so our team has a chance to score.”
Braden wrinkled his nose. “We don’t watch hockey.”
Jared cut a glance to Rudy.
“We lost the Thrashers years ago,” he said. “So there’s no hockey in Georgia.”
“There’s hockey on TV,” Jared grumbled.
“How come you don’t play anymore?” Braden asked.
“Because I’m retired. I’m a coach now.”
“What team?”
“The Las Vegas Sidewinders.”
“Never heard of them.”
Jared wanted to laugh but bit his lip. “Well, when you move to Las Vegas with me, you’ll get to know them really well.”
“I don’t want to move to Las Vegas. All my friends are here.”
“I know, kiddo, but your grandpa can’t take care of you and my job is in Las Vegas.”
“Oh.” Braden looked sad.
“We’ll have fun in Vegas,” Jared said, “and you’ll make new friends.”
“Okay.” Braden seemed to have lost his appetite as tears welled up in his eyes.
“Aw, don’t cry, kiddo.” Jared felt more helpless than he ever had in his life. He didn’t know how to do this, dammit.
“How come you never visited me before?” the boy asked after a moment.
“Because your mom and I had a fight before you were born and she didn’t tell me about you.” That was one thing Jared wasn’t going to protect Elsa from. Everything else could be watered down, but he wouldn’t allow Braden to think he hadn’t wanted him. Well, he hadn’t, but it would have been different if he’d known the kid existed.
“Mommy loved Roger,” Braden said sadly. “But I don’t think Roger liked me.”
“What do you mean?” Jared asked slowly.
“He was mean to me when Mommy wasn’t home.”
Jared hadn’t expected to feel rage, like wanting to strangle the guy with his bare hands, though he managed to keep those thoughts to himself. “Mean how?” he asked.
“He yells all the time and when Mommy was in the hospital, he spanked me.”
Jared breathed in through his nose and out through his mouth, trying to stay calm. Spanking was normal, assuming it wasn’t abusive, but Roger brought out the worst in him.
“Did Mommy spank you?” he asked quietly.
Braden shook his head. “Mommy used to take away my video games or put me in time-out.”
“Sounds like a good plan,” Jared said.
Braden started to fidget.
“We’re not done eating,” Rudy said to him. “Settle down.”
“I can’t help it, Grandpa.” Braden started playing air drums, bobbing his head in time to imaginary music.
“Would you guys like—” The waitress approached with a pitcher of water just as Braden hit his imaginary snare drum, knocking the pitcher from her hand and sending water all over her, him, the table, and the floor.
“Oh no!” The waitress shrieked at the same time Braden cried out from the shock of being doused in cold water.
“I’m so sorry,” Jared said, instantly on his feet, trying to calm Braden down without making a scene.
“Here you go.” Another waitress appeared with a stack of paper towels and Braden burst into tears as Jared tried to dry him off.
“I’m sorry,” he cried. “I didn’t mean it! I didn’t!”
“Okay, it’s okay.” Jared didn’t know what he was doing, apologizing to the waitress while trying to calm his son down.
By the time he’d gotten Braden to stop crying, paid the bill, helped Rudy into the car and started the engine, Jared desperately needed a drink. Probably several, but he would’ve settled for just one.
“I’m sorry, Jared,” Braden whispered from the back seat. “Please don’t take my DS away.”
“Your what?”
“Handheld video game console,” Rudy stage-whispered. “Nintendo thing.”
Jared glanced in the rearview mirror. “It was an accident, buddy. I’m not taking anything away from you.”
Late that night, when Braden and Rudy were both asleep, Jared called Renee. It was six thirty in the morning in Switzerland, so hopefully she was up.
“Hey, beautiful.” He was so happy to hear her voice.
“How’s it going?”
He filled her in on the escapades of the last couple of days.
“He misses his mom,” she said sympathetically.
“I’m sure he does.”
“What about you? How are you hanging in?”
“I’m dying,” he admitted. “I don’t know what to do, how I’m supposed to act. I don’t want to lay down any rules yet because I’m getting the vibe that Roger treated him like shit, so I don’t want to scare him. But they weren’t kidding about him being busy. He never stops moving, talking and eating, unless he’s playing video games.”
“You really think he has ADD?”
“I don’t know, Renee. I don’t know the first fucking thing about kids.” He took a pull from a beer he’d found in the refrigerator and held it in his free hand.
“We’ll figure it out. And Zakk Cloutier’s wife is a psychologist, so I’m sure she can steer you in the right direction.”
“Good to know. Thank you.”
“I’ll see you in two days,” she said quietly.
“You and Daisy booked your flights?”
“Actually, I booked my flight. Daisy is staying in Lucerne with Fab and Zio, helping at the hockey clinic since they’re shorthanded. You had to leave and the kid who was taking Zio’s place got the flu. When camp is over next week, she and Zio will fly to Vegas for a few weeks and then come back together since they have to get ready for school and stuff.”
“I can’t wait to see you.”
“Me too.”
“I’ll talk to you tomorrow, babe.” He hung up and took another swig of beer. He had a thousand priorities that didn’t include Braden, but all of that had to change now. The details made him a little bleary-eyed, so he hadn’t been focused on them too much. That would all come to an end as soon as he got back to Vegas. He needed school records, medical records, a birth certificate and probably a hundred other things he hadn’t even thought of yet. What else could possibly go wrong?
22
Jared had somehow managed to coordinate his an
d Braden’s flight to land thirty minutes after Renee’s, so she was waiting by the gate when they came out. Though he held on to Braden’s hand, Jared made a beeline straight to her and put down the car seat he was carrying so he could wrap one arm around her, kissing her deeply.
“I fucking missed you,” he whispered against her lips.
“I missed you too.” She smiled before looking down. “Hello. You must be Braden.”
“Are you Jared’s girlfriend?” the boy asked with a knowing grin.
“I am.” She nodded. “I’m Renee. It’s very nice to meet you.” She extended her hand and waited as the boy hesitated.
Jared gently nudged him. “Shake the lady’s hand,” he stage-whispered. “It’s polite.”
Braden gave him a worried look but quickly nodded and put his hand in Renee’s. “Nice to meet you?” He looked to his father for approval and Jared winked.
“I’m totally exhausted,” Renee told them. “But I’m also starving. How about we go get something to eat and then get settled at home?”
“Okay.” Braden seemed far more relaxed with Renee than with Jared and took her hand without a second thought.
She and Jared exchanged a look but she just smiled and answered his nonstop questions.
“Did you book a shuttle?” Jared asked her when he could get a word in edgewise.
“No. I planned to call an Uber so I could go home and get my car. What do you think?”
“Yeah, we can get an extra-large, so we can fit all our luggage.” He was still carrying the damn car seat since he’d figured they’d need it no matter how they got home. “What if we just went home and ordered pizza? Do you like pizza, buddy?”
Braden flashed a grin. “Yup. With pineapple and ham.”
Renee chuckled as Jared grimaced. “I have a daughter,” she told Braden. “And she loves ham and pineapple on her pizza too.”
“Do you like it?”
“I don’t, but we can order one for you the way you like it, and one with pepperoni for me and one with whatever your dad likes.”
“Pepperoni works for me.”
Within the hour they were settled at the house. Jared got Braden into the shower while Renee ordered pizza and threw in a load of laundry. Her cleaning service had come, so the house was spotless and hopefully Braden would like his room. Everything had gone from hopeful and fun to far more complicated than she’d ever imagined things would get with Jared. This whole situation had become overwhelming practically overnight.
