Whoops! We're In Big Trouble Now

by Adele Abbott

“What were you thinking?” Charlie said to Dorothy, as soon as Susan was in her bedroom.

  “I was only teasing her about the hangover.”

  “I mean about Pretty. What you said wasn’t funny!”

  “You were definitely out of order there,” Neil said.

  “Okay, okay. I’m sorry. Sheesh, it was only a joke.”

  ***

  Neil knew he was dreaming, but he had no desire to wake up because, in the dream, Kim was standing at the edge of his bed, wearing the sheerest of negligees. When he beckoned her to join him, she smiled the sexiest smile he’d ever seen, and slid under the covers next to him. Moments later, he felt her hand on his bare chest.

  Wait!

  That felt much more real than any dream he’d ever experienced before.

  “Bella?”

  “Did I wake you?”

  “Of course you woke me.” He scrambled to the far side of the bed. “What do you think you’re doing?”

  “Nothing yet, but I’m hoping that will change very soon.”

  “You can’t be here. Tobias will kill us both—err, well me, anyway. I guess you’re already dead.”

  “A lady doesn’t like to be reminded of such things.”

  “You have to go before he finds you here.”

  “When I left Tobias, he was sound asleep. Exhausted apparently.”

  “I have a girlfriend.”

  “Why do you insist on lying to me, Neil? Didn’t you tell me only the other day that there were no women in your life?”

  “There wasn’t, but there is now. Her name is Kim.”

  “And does this Kim know how to satisfy you?”

  “I—err—we haven’t actually—I’m not discussing my love life with you.”

  “I sense that she doesn’t. Fear not, Bella is very experienced in such matters.” She began to shuffle closer to him.

  “Young man!” Socky appeared at the far side of the bedroom. “Have you seen Bella? I fear she may have gone to Getmore once again.”

  Neil glanced to his side, and was relieved to see that Bella had slid down the bed, and pulled the cover over her head.

  “Bella? No, I haven’t seen her, but then I was fast asleep.”

  “I am sorry to disturb your slumber, but once again, when I stirred from my sleep, I found that she was no longer by my side. Do you think I should pay Getmore a visit?”

  “I—err—” Neil felt Bella’s hand on his thigh, and almost leapt out of bed. “Yes, That’s a good idea. You should go and see that cad right now, and make sure Bella isn’t with him.”

  “Would you care to accompany me?”

  “No, I really do need to catch up on my sleep.”

  “As you wish. I will bid you farewell, then.”

  “Has Tobias gone?” Bella came out from under the covers.

  “He has.” Neil jumped out of bed and grabbed the pillow. “And so have I.”

  Chapter 17

  “I don’t believe it.” Dorothy laughed so hard she woke Neil.

  “Do you mind?” He opened one eye. “I’ve barely had any sleep.”

  “Why are you on there again? I thought Socky had got rid of Mad Maggie?”

  “He did. I came out here to get away from Bella.”

  “You couldn’t make this stuff up.”

  “I’m glad you think it’s funny. If Socky finds out, I don’t know what he’ll do to me.”

  “It’s hardly your fault if women find you irresistible. Isn’t that what you’re always telling me?”

  “Yes, but I prefer my women to be alive.”

  “But you don’t mind if they spend all of their time with the dead, apparently.”

  “Don’t start on Kim again.”

  “Sorry.”

  “No, you’re not. You’re loving this.”

  “Look, I tell you what. What if I could get rid of Bella for you?”

  “And why would you do that?”

  “I figure I owe you one for finding the van for us.”

  Neil sat up. “Are you serious?”

  “Deadly. Having to look at you on that sofa every morning is almost enough to put me off my breakfast.”

  “How would you get rid of her?”

  “I’m not going to tell you. You’ll have to trust me.”

  “Okay. If it means I’ll get a good night’s sleep in my own bed, I’m prepared to give anything a try.”

  Dorothy poured herself a bowl of cornflakes and then went to join Neil in the living area. “If I do get rid of Bella for you, I might need your help with something.”

  “What’s that?”

  “We need to come up with a plan to get Greg out of the picture before he and human-chops get too cosy.”

  “He seems harmless enough.”

  “By himself, maybe, but if they team up, we could be in trouble. I’m worried they might get wind of my new business.”

  “What did you have in mind?”

  “I don’t know yet, but it may well involve some magic. I need to know you’d be up for it.”

  “If you get rid of Bella, then I’ll do whatever you need.”

  “Deal.”

  ***

  Neil wasn’t the only one of the flatmates who didn’t get a good night’s sleep. Charlie had been tossing and turning for most of the night. He was worried that Neil’s friend might not come through with a way to reverse the spell on Pretty. And that wasn’t the only thing bothering him: he was terrified that something might go wrong on Sunday when he and Jade were on their day trip to Stratford. Of all the days it could have fallen on, it had to be the full moon. If the coach got back to Washbridge on time, he should just about make it to Candlefield before he began to turn. But what if it didn’t? What if it was delayed? The thought of it made him sick to his stomach. If he did anything to hurt Jade, he’d never forgive himself. Even if they did make it back on time, Jade was going to think it strange that he wanted to rush straight off, but that was better than the alternative.

  Charlie checked under the table to make sure that Pretty was still okay, or at least, as okay as she could be under the circumstances. He was about to go for a shower when Greta called to him. When he looked through the magnifying glass, he saw another fairy standing next to her.

  “Charlie, this is Trudy.”

  “Hi.” The other fairy waved.

  “It’s very nice to meet you, Trudy.”

  “Likewise. Thank you so much for allowing me to rent this house. I’ve been wanting to move to the human world for ages. You must let me know how much the rent is, and I’ll make sure you get it every month on the dot.”

  “That won’t be necessary. Greta doesn’t—”

  “Actually, Charlie,” Greta interrupted. “I was going to talk to you about that. I think it’s only fair that we both pay rent. I’ve wanted to do that for some time now, but Bunty wouldn’t let me.”

  “I see. Well, if you’re both happy with that, I’m sure we can agree a reasonable figure. I’ll do a little research to find out what the going rate is. I don’t suppose you’ve heard from Bunty?”

  “Not a word, and to be perfectly honest, I hope I never hear from her again. Does that make me a terrible person?”

  “You could never be a terrible person, Greta. Anyway, it was nice to meet you, Trudy.”

  “You too, Charlie.”

  He had just grabbed his towel when his phone rang; it was Jade.

  “Charlie, I hope I haven’t called too early, but I have a photoshoot first thing, and I might not be able to get to the phone again today.”

  “No, that’s okay.”

  “It’s about tomorrow.”

  “What about it?”

  Was she cancelling the trip? Part of him hoped she was. Much as he wanted to be with her, he also wanted to be at the apartment to see if Neil was able to reverse the spell on Pretty. It would also mean that he didn’t have to worry about the full moon.

  “I wanted to check where we were meeting up tomorrow?” she said. “Shall I com
e over to your apartment or would it be better to meet at the coach station?”

  “I—err—” He considered coming up with an excuse to call it off, but as worried as he was about Pretty and the full moon, he didn’t want to jeopardise his relationship with Jade. “I guess the coach station would be best.”

  “That’s what I thought. Seven o’clock?”

  “I’ll be there.”

  “Great.”

  “Oh, and Charlie?”

  “Yes?”

  “I’m really looking forward to tomorrow.”

  “Me too. Can’t wait.”

  That was it, then. He’d blown his last chance to back out. He would have to keep everything crossed that they made it back to Washbridge on time.

  ***

  “What are you up to, Dorothy?” Tilly had parked the van outside the copy shop.

  “You’ll see. I won’t be long.” She nipped into the shop and came out with a handful of leaflets.

  “We haven’t given out all of our flyers already, have we?”

  “These aren’t ours.”

  “Let’s have a look. Magic Spells Fun? What’s this all about? Is it one of Neil’s crackpot ideas?”

  “No, it’s all mine.”

  “I don’t get it. What are you doing?”

  “Helping Charlie. You know that evil witch, Amelia, has been giving him a really hard time.”

  “Yeah, from what you’ve told me, she sounds like a psycho.”

  “She’s worse than that. The final straw was when she cast a spell to freeze that cat of his.”

  “I thought you hated that cat?”

  “I do, but Charlie doesn’t, and when I saw how upset he was yesterday, it almost broke my heart.”

  “So, under that cold, steely exterior of yours, there really does beat a heart. You’re just a big softy, aren’t you?”

  “I can think of a lot of people who would disagree with you.”

  “What’s the plan with the flyers, then?”

  “Have you seen the address printed on the bottom of them?”

  Tilly took another look at the leaflet. “That’s Amelia’s flat.”

  “And her phone number.”

  “How did you get hold of that?”

  “It was on Charlie’s phone.”

  “I still don’t understand what you’re doing.”

  “You will.”

  “Come on, tell me.”

  “No, that would spoil the surprise. You’ll have to be patient.”

  “If that evil look in your eyes is anything to go by, I pity Amelia.”

  “I’ve also promised to do Neil a favour.”

  “Neil? I thought you hated his guts?”

  “I do, normally, but he did help us out with the van.”

  “What’s the favour?”

  “You’ll see, and I’m going to need your help with this one.”

  “Me? What do you want me to do?”

  After Dorothy had explained what she had in mind, Tilly’s face lit up. “That sounds like it could be fun.”

  ***

  “You look fantastic, Dreams,” Susan said.

  She really did. She’d changed her hairstyle, and had obviously invested in a brand new wardrobe. Even more striking was the change in her demeanour. It took Susan a moment to figure out what was different, but then she realised what it was: Dreams looked happy. Really happy, for the first time since Susan had returned to Washbridge.

  “Thanks. I feel great. I should have dumped that loser ages ago. Why didn’t you tell me to?”

  “I did, a thousand times. You weren’t listening. What happened to bring you to your senses?”

  “We’d gone out for dinner. Ryan always takes his phone everywhere with him—even to the bathroom. He forgot this time, though, and left it on the table. While he was in the toilet, a message came through from someone called Bridget.”

  “Did you read it?”

  “Of course I did. And all the others. They’d been seeing each other behind my back for almost three months.”

  “What did Ryan say when you confronted him?”

  “He tried to make out it was all a big misunderstanding, but there was no misunderstanding. I threw a glass of lager over his head, and walked out of the restaurant.”

  “Good for you. Are you seeing anyone else yet?”

  “No, and I’m not in any hurry to get into another relationship. I plan on enjoying my freedom for a while. You, Jess and I are going to have lots of nights out, girl.”

  “If I’m still here.”

  “What do you mean? Where are you going?”

  “Maybe nowhere. Maybe London.”

  “I thought you hated London. Why would you go back there?”

  “My boss, Flynn, the guy who recruited me, is leaving to work at New Edge.”

  “I’ve heard of that.”

  “Yeah, it’s kind of a big deal. He’s offered me a job down there.”

  “Do you fancy it?”

  “The job? Yeah. London? I’m not sure I’m ready to go back to that rat race.”

  “When do you have to decide?”

  “I have to give him my answer by Friday. So far, I’ve gone back and forth a dozen times. One minute, I think I’d be crazy not to take the job. The next, I think I’d be crazy to take it.”

  “From a purely selfish point of view, my vote would be that you stay here, but you have to do what’s best for you and your career. And besides, now that I’ve dumped Ryan, there’s no reason why I couldn’t come down to London occasionally—we could have some nights out down there. In fact, thinking about it, that sounds like a great idea. You should definitely take the job.”

  ***

  Neil had the apartment to himself, which was just as well because he needed to put in more practice if he was going to have his new act ready in time for the gig on Monday. He’d already perfected a couple of simple spells, but he needed something with the wow factor. After much consideration, he’d come to the conclusion that audiences loved seeing things being made to disappear. You only had to look at the most popular illusionists on stage or TV to see proof of that. He’d decided it would be cool if he could make a small animal disappear, but rabbits could be tricky. Then he’d had a eureka moment: Why not make a bird disappear?

  It was brilliant, and even better, he wouldn’t have to buy the birds. He could borrow Dorothy’s. She wouldn’t object because he wouldn’t tell her. And so it was that he began to practise using the ‘hide’ spell on the two canaries.

  Two hours later, and he’d almost perfected it. A few times, only one of the birds disappeared, but he’d managed to iron out that problem, and everything now seemed to be working okay.

  One, two, three—he cast the spell again, and voila, the birds disappeared. He was still congratulating himself when the door opened, and in walked Dorothy and Tilly.

  Oh no! If she saw the canaries were missing, Dorothy would go mad, and if she knew he’d made them invisible, he’d be dead meat. Fortunately for Neil, the two women were too busy laughing to notice the missing birds, so he quickly reversed the spell.

  Phew! That had been too close for comfort.

  “What are you two laughing at?”

  “That’s for us to know, and for you to wonder,” Dorothy said.

  “You’re obviously up to no good.”

  “Maybe. Maybe not. You’ll have to wait to find out. Anyway, Tilly and I need to use your bedroom for a while.”

  “Really?” He grinned. “Can I watch?”

  “Wash your mind out, perv.”

  “Why do you need my bedroom?”

  “You’ll find out, and trust me, you’ll thank us later.”

  He didn’t have the first idea what Dorothy was talking about, but he didn’t object because it gave him the chance to give the ‘hide’ spell one last try. It worked like a dream, so after reversing the spell, he decided to call it a day. He planned to have another session on Sunday, but he was already feeling much more confident abou
t Selena watching his gigs. She might think the canary trick was a little risky, but he could argue that humans were accustomed to seeing similar tricks from human illusionists, so there was no reason why they should suspect real magic was involved.

  Charlie came back from his walk. He’d gone out to clear his head because he couldn’t stop thinking about all the things that might go wrong the next day.

  “Do you feel any better for that, pal?” Neil said.

  “Not really.” Just then, he heard voices coming from Neil’s bedroom. “Who have you got in there now?”

  “It’s just Dorothy and Tilly.”

  “What are they doing in your bedroom?”

  “Your guess is as good as mine. They were being very secretive.”

  On cue, the two women came back out of the bedroom, and joined the two guys in the living area.

  “Are you two going to tell me what you’ve been up to?” Neil said.

  “We’ve just sorted out your ‘Bella’ problem, haven’t we, Tilly?”

  “I would say so, yes. Definitely.”

  “How?” Neil looked puzzled. “What did you do?”

  They giggled.

  “Come on! What have you done?”

  “We were talking about you in there, actually. That’s all.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “We pretended to be ex-girlfriends of yours. We were discussing your—err—performance. So to speak.” Dorothy dissolved into laughter.

  So did Tilly.

  “What’s going on?” Neil was growing more and more frustrated with them. “What kind of performance?” That’s when the penny dropped. “Hold on, are you talking about—you can’t mean—?”

  “That’s right.” Dorothy grinned. “Now Bella knows what you’re like in bed, I doubt very much that she’ll show any interest in you from now on.”

  “You didn’t! You can’t have!”

  “We did. Would you have preferred to sleep on the sofa permanently?”

  “No, but how will I ever face her again?”

  “I’m sure you’ll get over the embarrassment. Eventually.”

  Chapter 18

  Susan hadn’t expected to find any of the other flatmates up so early on a Sunday morning, but Charlie was already dressed, and eating breakfast.