Whoops! We're In Big Trouble Now

by Adele Abbott

  “Dorothy? What about you?”

  “How do we know we can trust you?”

  “If I’d intended to harm you, do you think I would have come back here? I already have more than enough information to write a story.”

  “What about Greg? You must have said something to him?”

  “I haven’t. I told him that I’d had an argument with Neil, and that I wanted to stay at his place last night to allow time for the dust to settle. He was still fast asleep when I left this morning.”

  “Won’t he come looking for you?”

  “No because I left him a note saying I was okay, and that I’d be in touch with him later today.”

  “Did you tell him to contact the police if you didn’t get in touch?” Dorothy said. “Is that your safety net?”

  “I didn’t tell him to do anything like that. At some point, you’re going to have to trust me, or we’re not going to get anywhere.”

  “I trust you,” Charlie said.

  “Me too.” Neil nodded.

  Once again, Dorothy said nothing.

  “Is there any more of that coffee?” Susan gestured to the cup in Charlie’s hand.

  “Yeah, I’ve only just made it.” Neil jumped up. “Does anyone want toast. I’m starving.”

  “Me please,” Charlie said.

  “Toast would be great.” Susan nodded.

  “Dorothy?”

  “No. How you lot can eat at a time like this is beyond me.”

  Ten minutes later, they were all eating toast. All except for Dorothy who was becoming more and more annoyed. “What is it you want to talk about, Susan? I have to be at the unit by eight o’clock. It’s our first day of trading today.”

  “Selling blood?” Susan took a bite of toast.

  “Look, if you’re going to turn us in, just do it!” Dorothy spat the words.

  “I’ve already told you that I’m not going to do that, but I do have some things I want to say, and some questions I’d like answering if that’s possible.”

  “Go on, Susan.” Charlie encouraged her.

  “Okay. Before I came to Washbridge, I doubt I’d thought about the paranormal more than a handful of times in my life. It wasn’t something that was even on my radar. But then, one of the first things that happened when I started work at The Bugle was that one of the other reporters passed a woman on to me. She’d been bugging him for months because her husband had disappeared. I’m pretty sure I told you about this at the time. Anyway, Margie, that was her name, was desperate for someone to believe that her husband had been snatched away by rogue retrievers. She insisted he was a wizard, and that he’d been taken back to the paranormal world. At the time, I’d thought that was probably the biggest load of nonsense I’d ever heard, and I was convinced Margie was a sandwich short of a picnic. Now, of course, I realise she was telling the truth.”

  Susan finished the last of her toast, and then continued, “It was because of Margie that I met Greg. I liked him straight away, but I thought he was a teeny bit crazy because of his obsession with the paranormal. Just as with Margie, I now realise that he was right all along. I guess you guys must have been worried when I told you about some of this stuff back then. Particularly about Greg.”

  “No kidding,” Charlie said.

  “So, anyway, I didn’t sleep much last night at Greg’s.”

  “I thought you said he’d slept on the sofa,” Neil quipped.

  “Don’t you ever let up?” Dorothy thumped his arm. “This is serious!”

  “Sorry. Go on, Susan.”

  “I was thinking about some of the strange things that have happened while I’ve been here. A few of them make more sense now. For example, when we went to that fancy dress party—if that’s what it was. Those guys I thought were wearing werewolf costumes, those weren’t costumes at all, were they?”

  Charlie shook his head.

  “What really happened that night?”

  “The party was supposed to be just for sups,” Neil said.

  “Sups?”

  “It’s short for supernaturals. Non-humans, in other words. Anyway, you weren’t supposed to find out about the party, but when you did, we didn’t know how to prevent you from going. As soon as we arrived there, we realised it had been a mistake to let you come with us. Sups don’t normally pose a danger to humans, but in that atmosphere, there was a real chance that something bad might have happened. I cast a spell to send you to sleep, and then Charlie and I brought you home.”

  “I’m kind of shocked that there are so many—err—sups living here in Washbridge. Are there many others in this apartment block?”

  “You’re the only human,” Dorothy said.

  “What? Are you kidding?”

  “No. The other residents weren’t exactly thrilled when you moved in. They gave us a really hard time about it.”

  “And Dorothy, I assume that your new business isn’t really a sandwich delivery service?”

  “You know it isn’t.”

  “You must have had a good laugh behind my back when I told you about my investigations into the blood distribution network.”

  “What was there to laugh about? I was terrified that you’d work out what was really going on.”

  “That time when I came into your bookshop, and you were acting kind of weird?”

  “We had a fridge in there.”

  “Selling blood?”

  Dorothy nodded.

  “And then there was that time I found you kneeling next to me, with the needle in your hand?”

  “I do feel bad about that. I didn’t actually—err—you know.”

  “You wanted to, though?”

  “That’s why I didn’t want you living here. It wasn’t that I didn’t like you. It just made life so difficult.”

  “And that’s why you have the fridge in your bedroom. It all makes sense now.” She turned to Neil. “Your magician’s act is superb, but I now realise that you have something of an unfair advantage.”

  “Did you see what I did with Pretty?”

  “I did. What had happened to her?”

  “It was Amelia,” Charlie said.

  “The young woman from upstairs?”

  “Yeah. She’s actually a witch. When things didn’t work out between us, she decided to take her revenge on me, and then on Pretty.”

  “She stuffed her?”

  “Pretty wasn’t actually stuffed. Amelia had ‘frozen’ her, but Neil managed to reverse the spell.”

  “And you, Charlie.” Susan smiled at him. “You, more than anyone, have made me feel welcome here. And despite what I may or may not have seen yesterday, I’ll always think of you as a gentle giant.”

  Charlie stood up, walked over to Susan, and gave her a bear hug. “Thanks, that means a lot to me.”

  “When you two have done with the mutual admiration society,” Dorothy said. “You still haven’t told us what you plan to do?”

  “I’m leaving Washbridge.”

  “Leaving?” Neil said. “When? Where are you going?”

  “As soon as I’ve done here, I’m going to the office to tell my boss that I’ll take that job in London.”

  “You don’t have to leave because of us,” Charlie said.

  Dorothy glared at him, but for once managed to bite her tongue.

  “Yes, I do, Charlie. Now that I know what I know, there’s no way I can continue to live here.”

  “There are sups everywhere, you know,” Neil said.

  Dorothy was going to have serious words with her two sup flatmates later.

  “Maybe.” Susan acknowledged. “But I don’t know them. And, hopefully—no offence intended—I won’t be living with them.”

  “What about Greg?” Charlie said.

  “That’s my only regret. He and I were starting to get close, but I’m afraid that it wasn’t meant to be.”

  “You could still see him, couldn’t you?”

  “Not knowing what I do now. You know how fascinated he is with th
e paranormal. How could I have any kind of relationship with him? It would be dishonest. I’m just glad this happened before things went too far between us.”

  “When will you be moving out?” Dorothy said, drawing glares from both Charlie and Neil.

  “Today. I’m going to stay with my friend, Dreams, until I move down to London. I’ll keep nipping back to get my stuff.”

  “You don’t have to move out until you’re ready to go to London,” Charlie said.

  “Under the circumstances, I think it’s best that I do.” She stood up. “So, I’d better be making tracks.”

  Charlie gave her another hug. “Take care, Susan, and thanks for everything.”

  “Thank you, Charlie. I hope things go well with you and Jade.”

  When Charlie stepped back, Neil moved in for a hug. “It’s been a blast. Good luck with the new job.”

  “Thanks, Neil. Good luck with your magic act, and the new girlfriend.” After Neil had stepped away, Susan turned to Dorothy. “I’m even going to miss you.”

  “Liar.” Dorothy grinned. “You do realise that it was nothing personal, don’t you?”

  “Of course I do, and I’m sorry for accusing you of being an alcoholic.”

  “That’s okay. I very nearly did turn to drink when you moved in.”

  “There is just one other thing I’d like to know,” Susan said. “Is Faze one of those rogue retrievers?”

  “How did you manage to work that out?”

  “It was something I overheard her say in a bar. You three must have been a bit freaked out when she moved in?”

  “Not as freaked out as when you did.”

  “I guess not. Right, then.” She started for the door. “I’ll be off.”

  After she’d left, the other three flatmates stood in silence for the longest moment. It was Neil who eventually spoke, “I guess that means we’ll be looking for a new flatmate, then?”

  “And this time, definitely no humans!” Dorothy said.

  Chapter 23

  Three months later.

  “Will you be in for dinner tonight, Susan?” Patricia said.

  “I’m hoping so. I should finish the feature that I’ve been working on today, and I don’t plan on starting anything new until Monday. With a bit of luck, I might even get away early this afternoon.”

  Susan now shared a two-bedroom apartment in the Isle of Dogs which was just a few minutes’ walk from Mudchute station on the Docklands Light Railway. She was paying twice as much rent as she’d paid in Washbridge, but her salary at New Edge meant that wasn’t really an issue. The daily commute on the DLR wasn’t her favourite thing in the world, but it wasn’t as bad as when she’d lived in Northolt, and been forced to negotiate the Central Line twice a day.

  Most mornings, she travelled into the city with her flatmate, Patricia, who worked as a commercial lawyer. Patricia had moved down to London from Wakefield five years earlier. Until four months ago, she’d shared the apartment with another lawyer, who moved out when she got married. Susan had been lucky; she’d walked into the estate agents before they’d had time to put details of the apartment online.

  Her other concern about returning to London had been Eddie, but it turned out that he had been arrested for GBH, and was now doing time at Her Majesty’s Pleasure, so she wouldn’t have to worry about him for some years at least.

  “Are you going to see that guy again?” Patricia said.

  “Yeah, I think so. We seemed to hit it off okay.”

  “Don’t go getting married. I don’t want to have to look for another flatmate again already.”

  “You don’t have any worries on that score. What about Johnny? I haven’t seen him around for a while.”

  “I thought I’d told you. I’ve dumped him. He turned out to be a bit of a monster.”

  Susan froze. “What kind of monster?”

  “When he’s had a drink, he gets loud and thoroughly obnoxious. I’ve decided to take a break from men for a while.”

  “That’s what you said after you dumped whatshisname.”

  “Gary. Yeah, I know. I’ll never learn.”

  A man got on at the next stop and sat opposite the two women; he was tall and built like a tank. There was something about him that reminded Susan of Charlie.

  Would she ever stop looking at people and wondering if they were human or sup?

  ***

  “I’m sorry I messed up,” Charlie said.

  “What are you talking about?” Jade took his hand. “You were brilliant today.”

  “I spilled the wine.”

  “It was only a drop, and no one noticed.”

  Good as her word, Jade had managed to get Charlie signed up with the modelling agency where she worked. The two of them were now in great demand for photoshoots requiring a young couple. They’d just finished a shoot for a new restaurant chain, which was trying to attract the upwardly mobile twenty-somethings.

  “When’s your next shoot?” Charlie held the door open for Jade. They were going for a drink at Bar Fish.

  “I have two tomorrow. One in the morning and one in the afternoon. Have you thought any more about what Laura asked you?”

  “Yeah, but I still don’t know what to do.”

  “It’s like she said. She could get you a lot more work if you’d give up the job at the gym.”

  “I know, but this still doesn’t feel like a real job.”

  “Thanks.” She grinned.

  “Sorry, I didn’t mean that you—”

  “It’s okay, Charlie, I know what you meant.”

  “It’s just that I still can’t believe someone is willing to pay to take my photograph.”

  “Well, they are, and it’s a lot more money than you’ll ever make at the gym. It’s not as though you even enjoy working there.”

  “You’re right. I’ll definitely give it some more thought.”

  After they’d got their drinks, they found a quiet table at the back of the room.

  “Have you found a new flatmate, yet?” Jade took a sip of her G&T.

  “Not yet. Dorothy wants to move Donny in, but Neil won’t agree to that because he wants Kim to move in. Neither of them will back down so it’s a stalemate.”

  “I notice there was no mention from you about me moving in.”

  “I—err—it’s not that I didn’t want to.” He blushed. “I do, honestly. I just thought it would seem a bit presumptuous.”

  “It’s okay. I’m not sure I could live with those two flatmates of yours, anyway. Particularly Dorothy—she gives me the cold shoulder whenever I come around.”

  “She’s okay, really. She just hides it well.”

  ***

  “Charlie doesn’t object to you moving in,” Dorothy said. “It’s Neil that’s the problem. As per usual.”

  “Don’t worry about it.” Donny gave her a kiss. “Things are working okay as they are, aren’t they?”

  “I suppose so, but it would still be nice for us to get a place together. Just the two of us.”

  “Give it a few more months until your business is established, then we’ll check our finances and see what we can afford.”

  “You’re right. I don’t really need the added upheaval of moving just yet.”

  “Are the orders still coming in?”

  “Thick and fast. We haven’t had to give out any flyers for a couple of weeks now. Word of mouth is generating more than enough new business. In fact, Tilly is going to talk to that contact of yours, to see about getting more fridges for the spare room.”

  “You’ve got the wall rebuilt then?”

  “Yeah. They finished work on it last month. Charlie insisted on paying for it.”

  “That guy is too nice for his own good.”

  “Just like me, then?”

  “You aren’t nice. You’re naughty. Very naughty. But then, I do love naughty girls.”

  ***

  “I really think I’ve got the hang of this now,” Kim said.

  They’d ju
st finished their second magic show of the weekend. The previous day, they’d been the main attraction at a seven-year-old boy’s birthday party. His parents had been delighted with their performance, and had given them a twenty-pound tip. Today’s gig had been at a corporate function, and those always paid well.

  “You were brilliant, and you look sensational in that new outfit.”

  “Thanks.” She did a little twirl. “It’s a pity that Dorothy won’t let us use the canaries anymore.”

  “She’s just being awkward, as always.”

  “Still, you can’t blame her for being annoyed when one of them threw up all over her.”

  “It was her own fault, I warned her that Bob had been at the birthday cake, but she insisted on picking him up anyway.”

  After Dorothy had refused to allow her canaries to be used in Neil’s act, he and Kim had been forced to find replacements. Canaries had been too expensive, so they’d settled for two budgerigars: Molly and Wally.

  “The budgies worked okay, though, didn’t they?”

  “Yeah, they’re used to it now. Do you really have to work tonight?”

  “You know I do.”

  “Couldn’t you ring in sick?”

  “No, I can’t. Being a reaper is a great responsibility.”

  “Hairdresser. You meant to say hairdresser, didn’t you?”

  “I thought you might have got over the reaper thing by now.”

  “I’m not sure I ever will. Okay, well if you can’t come out to play tonight, how about next weekend?”

  “What about it?”

  “We don’t have any gigs booked, so I thought we might go away somewhere?”

  “Are you asking me to go on a dirty weekend?”

  “I am.”

  “Great. Where are we going?”

  “Does it matter?”

  “Not really.”

  ***

  “You wanted to see me, Flynn?”

  “Come in, Susan. Take a seat.”

  “Don’t tell me you’re moving on again?”

  He smiled. “No chance. I plan to be here for some time unless they throw me out. What about you? Have you settled in okay?”

  “Yeah, I’m really enjoying it.”