Catch My Breath

by Wendy L. Wilson

  Catch My Breath

  Copyright © by Wendy L. Wilson.

  All Rights Reserved

  No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, places, characters and incidents are a product of the author’s imagination and are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons living or dead, events, or locations is entirely coincidental.

  Cover Design by Cover to Cover Designs

  Cover Photo by MH Photography/Female Cover Model, Male Cover Model, Julio Elving

  Author Photo by Ashleigh Pettis

  Editor, Jeremy Thompson

  Formatting by Champagne Formats

  Table of Contents

  Title Page

  Copyright

  Dedication

  Finally Moving Forward

  The After Party

  All Work and No Play

  On a Mission

  Make her Mine

  My New Favorite Thing

  Something is starting

  The Craziest Week of My Life

  Did that Really Just Happen?

  Good friends

  It’s on

  Go out with a bang

  Blurred visions of her

  A dream

  Lost

  Picking up the pieces

  Breathe

  Going through the motions

  Fury

  Answers

  Follow her anywhere

  I’m done

  Back in my arms

  Heaven

  Alone at Last

  Family

  My home

  Caught

  Locked out

  Angel

  My refuge

  Advice

  Bury the Hatchet

  Dreams

  She’s gone

  Believe

  Day by Day

  Running

  I’ll do anything

  Catch my breath

  Epilogue

  Coming Soon

  Acknowledgements

  About the Author

  Dedicated to the two most important women in my life …

  Mom and Grandma

  You believe in me without hesitation, love me unconditionally and support me whole heartedly through every step of my life. I love you both more than I could ever put into words and am blessed beyond measure for having you in my life.

  9:06 AM … COME ON. Each tick of the hand thunders through my body as I stare at the large round clock above the doorway to the cafeteria. Click … another minute passes by in slow motion, deliberately holding me back from moving on to the next chapter of my life.

  “And the best dressed this year is …”

  Still watching the clock, I tune out all the chatter of my classmates seated around me and the ramblings of our class president, busy announcing the most outgoing guy, the shyest girl, the best dancer and most improved student during our senior year. I could really care less. Honestly, I would have preferred to skip out on the whole senior breakfast.

  “Wow, best dancer my ass …” Evan chuckles beside me as I look up to see Grayson Hanners trip over his own feet and barely catch himself before face planting into the food table. “Smooth, real smooth,” he whispers in his usual sarcastic tone. I can’t help but laugh myself.

  Glancing back over to the wall, my body starts to vibrate with excitement. Ten minutes; only ten minutes left. Then I will be on my own headed off to California for college and leaving all the painful memories that are associated with this place behind. I'm just ready to move forward; to make my own path in life and leave the one that was chosen for me behind.

  “What?!” Evan exclaims, scooting his chair back with a high pitched screech as it grinds against the hard ceramic floor tiles.

  The entire class roars as he makes his way to the head of the room. After grabbing his certificate, which is basically nothing but a piece of paper that shows that other students knew who you were, he makes a spectacle of strutting slowly back to our table. Bouncing back down in his seat, he tosses his large white rectangle certificate down beside my award entitled Most Athletic.

  “Class Clown,” I read aloud and belt out a genuine laugh. Definitely fitting. “That didn’t actually surprise you did it?” I whisper as a few people around the table look my way.

  Evan rolls his eyes as they begin to call out another name. “I was really hoping for Most Witty or Excellence in Sarcasm, maybe even …”

  “Most Non-Filtered Student, Socially Challenged or Student Body Smart-ass,” I say with a smirk, looking his way.

  “Pshhhh …” he huffs out as his lips quirk up at the corners. “I am not socially challenged by any means. You, my friend, are socially challenged. You spend all your time between studying, football and working out. Seriously dude, the monkey-cracker is going to dry up if you’re not careful.”

  Spitting out a cough and nearly choking, I snap my head around to see how many ears caught that comment. Tyler spits out a laugh to the side of me and Nick casually slaps Evan’s hand in a congratulatory gesture.

  “Hey, it is not going to dry up …” I huff out as Evan barely holds in a burst of chuckles. My stomach starts to ache with impending laughter. Shaking my head, I give up. “I don’t care about that shit.”

  The bell finally rings and I breathe a sigh of relief, however I’m not sure what I’m more thankful about; all the dirty looks we got as Evan made each of us crack up, the fact that the most boring hour of my life is over or that we are done, out of here. Only one more day until graduation, two months of enjoying summer and then I’m off to California; I can’t wait.

  While a steady stream of bodies flood the room heading for the exit, Evan and I slowly stand up, him with a cheesy smile on his face and me wanting to bolt for the door.

  “We did it! We’re now adults, ready for the world!” He rolls his eyes and I have to smile at his sarcasm.

  “I’ve been ready for a while,” I say more to myself than to anyone else.

  “Yes, but now it’s official … well … it will be once we get handed that little rolled up diploma. I guess it’s rolled up … it always is in the movies. Why the hell do they roll it up if it’s so life-altering? I don’t want a paper. I want a damn trophy or a medallion to wear around my neck.”

  An arm falls around my shoulder and I crane my neck to see Tyler with his arm draped over Evan’s shoulder as well.

  “We all need a damn medal for putting up with your ass for all these years,” he laughs.

  I chuckle as we join the flow of people rushing out into the hall and pass room after room of freshman, sophomores and juniors, still stuck in class. They all look pissed; I remember that feeling. I always envied the senior’s freedom on that last day of school.

  “Yeah, right. You guys would be a mess without me around.”

  Snickering at Evan’s confidence in himself, I nod my head agreeing with the irony of his statement. He may have meant it as a joke, but given we met shortly after my mom died, he’s pretty on point. I would be a disaster without his smartass comments and bullshit pranks that always have a way of keeping me in the present rather than allowing me to sink into the bottomless pit of my past.

  “Hey, Evan … so what’s this summer job you’re doing?” Matt’s voice calls out as he and Nick join us on our way out of the main building and to the parking lot.

  “Oh yeah, it’s out on my grandfather’s property at the lake about five hours from
here. He has a slew of cabins that need renovations. Judd and I are heading out the day after tomorrow.” He nudges me in the arm as we stop a few yards from my truck. “It’s about six to eight weeks of work, twelve hour days, lodging provided, all the sunshine and swimming you can handle and of course, my company to keep everything interesting.”

  We all laugh, exchanging looks that mock Evan’s enthusiasm about being the main attraction.

  “You better pitch a better proposal than that,” Tyler jokes.

  Matt clears his throat to the right of me. “Ahh yeah, kinda like how much are we going to get paid for roasting under the hot sun every day and having to listen to your mouth for a whole twelve hours each … and … every … day,” he draws out his words for dramatics.

  Evan stands tall and presses his lips together in a humorless expression that is hard to take serious. “Does fifteen an hour sound good?”

  I swing my head around and make eye contact with him as he winks, code for keep my mouth shut. His grandfather approached me last week about a temporary job at his construction company, that’s when we went over the particulars of this job. However, I was offered $18 an hour, so I don’t say a word.

  “Sounds good to me,” Nick says excitedly. “Who all is going?”

  “So far, I think it is both of my brothers, Jake and Tristan, Evan’s brother, Mitch, then Evan and me,” I answer, looking to Evan for confirmation.

  “Yep,” he agrees.

  “What all will we be doing?” Tyler jumps back into the conversation.

  “Probably a whole lot of chasing ass with both your older brothers out there.” No doubt Matt and the others have heard all about my brothers escapades.

  “No way, no how,” Evan snaps. “You guys are not going to have time for chicks. So just get that out of your head.” He looks around to make sure he has our full attention. “I’m hoping for two teams of four guys so we can split the workload. Grandpa wants a total revamp so we will be doing it all: roofing, painting, new fixtures and awnings, new decks, fixing the docks and whatever else we can dream up.” Evan looks around to each of us. “So you guys in?

  “Hell yeah, man,” Tyler speaks up clearly pumped about the offer.

  “I’m in. Some of us aren’t getting full ride scholarships to college,” Matt laughs shoving me in the arm.

  I look at him and grin, proud of the fact that I’m getting a scholarship to the college I want. While these guys were out partying, going to school dances and chasing girls, I was working my ass off for it.

  “Yeah, I can’t pass up those wages either. Count me in,” Nick chimes in putting the crew up to eight guys.

  Evan mouths the word “Yes,” and then points back and forth between us. “Ok, so tomorrow night … drink, have fun, drop some panties, but … you make damn sure, hangover or not, that you are at the lake by one or two, at the latest. Got it?”

  We all nod in agreement, ready to disperse when Matt raises one last question. “So wait, wait, wait. Let me get this straight … so there isn’t going to be any girls on the crew,” he says, trying to ruffle Evan’s feathers.

  “No there isn’t going to be any girls on the crew. Damn man, do you think we would get anything done?” Evan points out again. “That would be a disaster waiting to happen with Tristan and Mitch out there.”

  I chuckle. It would be an occupational hazard for my brother to be on a roof with women nearby. No way would he get anything done.

  “Speaking of chicks!” Matt hollers in a warning tone as I look over my shoulder.

  Turning my head, I am met with full lips hell bent on swallowing my mouth whole. What the hell! Really?!

  “Whoa!”

  “Nice!”

  “Hell yeah!”

  All the guys call out comments and whistle only egging her on further as I pull my head back, severing our contact.

  “Hey,” I snap with a bad attempt at trying to conceal my annoyance.

  Tiffany, a girl I have hooked up with on more than one occasion in the past two years stands only inches from my body with one hand on her hip and the other gracefully pawing at my chest.

  Flipping her brown hair over her shoulder, she looks at me through deep dark brown eyes that have lived most of their life under the veil of pain and abandonment. I really don’t want to hurt her feelings. She knows as well as I do that we are not a couple.

  “What? Are you not happy to see me?”

  I look down at her hand, slowly trailing back and forth across my chest like I’m a damn dog that she’s petting as aggravation bolts through me at her stubbornness and not so subtle need to claim me.

  “You weren’t this annoyed to see me this past Saturday night,” she whispers a little louder than I’d like.

  She knows it isn’t like that at all.

  “Ohhh … burn,” Matt calls out, obviously listening in on everything. Great.

  “Ahhh … I was …” I trail off, not sure what to say as my mouth remains gaped open. I stare over at the guys with a look that is more than likely sending out a distress signal.

  Evan shakes his head with his signature smirk in place, before realizing that I am in dire need for help. “Oh yeah hey guys, let’s go nail down the game plan for the graduation party.” He corrals them away, but quickly leans in towards my ear. “So I see the monkey-cracker isn’t being starved after all.”

  Tiffany lets out a quiet squeal and snakes her arms around my waist. I keep my hands slack at my sides, embarrassed from the public display of affection.

  “Hush, Evan,” she bats her eyes. “He just doesn’t kiss and tell, like you.”

  “Ha!” Evan blurts out dramatically holding his stomach. “Kiss and tell … honey, I am the master at keeping that shit to myself.”

  The guys all burst out laughing.

  “Man, you would be on the rooftop, air humping and announcing it to the world that you got laid,” Tyler belts out as they all start to walk off.

  Evan gives me one last look, pointing over his shoulder to the guys. “They don’t believe me. They actually think I’m a virgin,” he chuckles and then panic takes over his features as he darts after them. “Whoa, wait … do you think I’ve never ….” His voice trails off as I’m left alone to deal with Tiffany.

  Pulling her towards the parking lot as I head to my truck, I speak to her gently, not wanting to hurt her feelings, “Tiffany, what are you doing?”

  It’s not like I don’t care about her. She’s a sweet girl, attractive as hell and 100% crazy about me, but I don’t feel the same about her as she does for me.

  She folds her arms across her chest and sticks out her lower lip. I shake my head and laugh.

  “I was hoping I could come over tonight,” she whines.

  “That’s not what I meant and you know it,” I say in a stern voice letting her know I’m serious.

  “Oh come on Judd. We’re graduating and never going to see half of these people again. Who cares what they think about us?”

  A frustrated sigh spills from my mouth and my head spins with the impending topic of rehashing what we are to each other. This subject seems to rear its ugly head every few months.

  She moves in toward me, once again stroking my chest. I’m going to have to sever whatever this is between us once and for all. I open my mouth to speak, but luckily get saved just in time by a couple of her friends.

  “Tiff, hey … we are going out to Miller’s Creek in a bit. You want to come?” one of them yells out, pausing a few feet from us.

  “Yeah, wait for me.”

  My chest remains idle on a breath I didn’t realize I was holding as she pushes off my chest and walks away, only to spin around and face me again.

  “I’ll see you tomorrow night?” The suggestion in her tone rings loud and clear, but I’m sure to any listening ears, they would assume she is talking about graduation and the party. I know she means sneaking in my window later that night. Smiling in reply, I hop in my truck to head home.

  Twenty minutes la
ter I’m enjoying the rare pleasure of relaxing; I’m not at the gym, not on the field and not racing off to the farm where I have worked since I was thirteen. I blow out a sigh, sinking my head back into the soft cushion of the couch and close my eyes when the front door swings open.

  “Hey,” Jake says excitedly, throwing his bag to the floor and slouching down beside me.

  Opening one eye, I level him with a stern you’re-messing-with-my-quiet-time glare.

  Clueless, he looks at me with a wide smile. “You wanna play chess?”

  The vibrations of a chuckle move up my throat and out of my mouth as I take in his excitement, so I nod. In no time, he has the board set up on the bar in the kitchen. We both totally suck at this game and we know it, but its quality time together plus we get a kick out of teasing one another at how bad we are.

  Crinkling my brows, I stare down at the small tan and black squares. I hate this game.

  “I saw you walk by my class after breakfast this morning. Everyone in class was moaning and groaning about how it wasn’t fair that the seniors get out a whole week early.”

  I laugh, “It will be your guys turn soon enough. I thought the same thing last year. I was so pissed.” Pinching the marble texture of one of my knights between my index finger and thumb, I move one space. “I thought you were hitting the gym today?”

  Jake looks down at the board with a puzzled expression.

  “That’s a check mate, right?” He quickly grabs the instructions booklet and starts silently reading as I clear my throat to bring his attention back to my question. “Oh right … no. I’ve got weeks of laying shingles and whatever else Evan will have us doing, so I think I’m good.” He looks up and his face falls when he sees me staring him down more than likely the same way Mom used to when we didn’t do our chores. “What?” he tosses the box. “Screw the directions.”

  The door swings open and we both snap our head as Tristan strides in and back to his bedroom without a word. Jake and I remain quiet as the muffled sounds of drawers opening and shutting, fabric swishing together followed by the metal sliding against metal fills the air and already has my irritation peaked. Coming back out of his room and down the hall, he finally makes eye contact, but it takes all the courage I have not to snap when I see the bag clutched in his hand.