Catch My Breath

by Wendy L. Wilson

  "I was really hoping it would be mind blowing for you. I even arranged for fireworks,” I joke hoping to detour the conversation from my performance to the show outside.

  She takes only a small glance out the window then looks back at me. Her hips tilt inward and my body heats up against her. As though someone just announced that half time is over, I begin planting small moist kisses along her jawline as she squirms.

  “We could try again …”

  I don’t even need to think about her suggestion; I can’t because my body is already kicking into action. I laugh and roll onto my back, firmly holding her against me.

  “You read my mind …”

  She looks at me nervously as she rises above me, placing one leg on either side of my hips with her knees bent.

  “I want to look at you …” I say thinking, bucket list time.

  Like a magnet, my hands find her hips, holding her steady in case she is uncomfortable with this.

  “Ummm, I’ve never done it …” she breathes out with a quivering voice, “… like this.”

  I smile and loosen my grip on her hips feeling comforted that she never experienced this with that other guy.

  "I guess we'll figure it out together then," I say, feeling goose bumps spread over her hips as I run my hand over them.

  Her apprehension dissolves and she positions herself perfectly over me, slowly easing down until the warmth of her center settles onto me. I keep my hands glued to her hips and guide her as rolls of electricity shoot through me with our contact. Slowly allowing my gaze to sweep over her, I take in her voluptuous chest to her tiny waist then down to watch our joined bodies. Her head falls back and she lets out ragged breaths, whining and whimpering.

  I continue to watch, to savor every tingle, spark, buzz and bolt of electricity as she moves. A couple times, I try to join in lifting my hips, but it throws off her pace and trips us up. I guess I won’t try that for now. We both laugh at our inexperience but we quickly correct our position and waves of pleasure silence the joking. Within seconds we are back to gasping for breath.

  Soon sensations begin to build within me and I need to have her closer. Lifting myself up to sit with one hand gripped on her waist, I begin pulling and pushing her at the perfect pace. My mouth roams any part of her body it can reach, wanting to taste it all, wanting to touch her everywhere, wanting to experience everything with her. I settle my lips on hers as she makes the most beautiful sounds that have me barely holding on.

  “You’re so beautiful,” I gasp as my eyes devour her exquisite curves bouncing to the rhythm of our love.

  Waves roll and crash within me as I feel the muscles in her body tense up. She arches her body towards me with her head flung back, and I can no longer hold on.

  “Juuuuud …..” She calls to me on a scream as we both plummet, spiraling into a pool of ecstasy.

  With my arms gripped around her, I pull her flush against me with my face buried in her chest. Her arms tighten around my back, holding onto me securely. Turning my face so that I can breathe, I marvel at small trickles of sweat sliding across her skin and how her heart beats wildly in my ear.

  I turn my face back between her breasts, “Whoa …” I mouth against her skin causing her to bounce and giggle within my arms.

  “That tickles.”

  My lips curve into a smile that I have never owned before in my life because I’ve never known this happiness and I’ve never felt so content. Dropping my head back so I can look at her while still holding her against me as tight as possible, I see that she is looking out the window at the fireworks. I break our hold and she slowly rolls off, both of us collapsing on our backs against the mattress. Silently watching boom after boom burst into a million sizzling lights, I turn and look at her, curious.

  "Was that better? Did you..." I know she did, but I just want to be sure.

  Her lips rise into a huge smile as she bites her bottom lip and I have no doubt that I have a stupid ass grin plastered on me as well.

  “I did …” She giggles still looking above us at the blazing sky.

  Crack,

  Crack,

  Boom.

  Snapping my head back out the window to the sky, I see that Evan must have just announced the end of the fireworks show by blasting the biggest, brightest and noisiest rockets all at once. Wow, perfect timing … for all of us!

  “Just … like … that!” Alyssa announces, erupting with laughter.

  I slide my hands behind my head feeling a tad bit cocky and whole lot pleased, “Yeah, I planned it like that.” I laugh and look over at her, “I figured we could go out with a bang.”

  THE NEXT MORNING, OF course, Evan busts in as usual putting an immediate halt in our morning passion. He has a way of choosing the precise moment that will destroy me the most. After he made himself scarce, the situation between Alyssa and I turned from playful to emotional as we both realized that this is the day that we have to say goodbye, so to speak. I know without a doubt that it is not goodbye, but it still scares the hell out of me that I won’t have her near me every day. I trust her and I am confident that she loves me, but I do worry that her ex might realize what an idiot he was and try to get her back. Honestly, I’d say he doesn’t have a shot in hell; his loss is my gain.

  After closing the door of the cabin behind me, I grip her hand in mine wishing I could turn around and lock us both in it for the rest of the summer. Her fingers thread between mine and the grip she has on my hand may very well turn it blue.

  Evan sits in his jeep with the engine running and a smirk on his face. I look at him and shake my head, praying that he reads my mind that this morning is no time for his dramatics. Once I get settled in the seat with her curled up in my lap, he throws it into drive and crosses the lot to the office so I can turn in the key.

  Throwing it into park, he looks over at me as Alyssa nuzzles into my neck with her body turned away from him. I rub my hand along her back and let my lips settle against the top of her head.

  “Hey, you want me to take the key in?”

  I turn my cheek to the side, with Alyssa’s soft hair brushing over my face. Evan looks at her with a sympathetic smile with his hand held out. Returning his smile, I gratefully hand him the key clasped in my hand.

  “Hey, look at me,” I say to her as soon as Evan jumps out.

  She looks up and her tear streaked cheeks send a slicing pain straight through my heart. Running my hand to her face, I place it against her cheek and touch my lips to hers, expressing everything within my soul.

  “I love you. This isn’t going away … .what I feel for you.” I smile, trying to break through her wall of doubt. “I have a couple weeks before I leave for school and I plan to spend every second with you, ok?”

  She nods her head and curls back against me as Evan climbs back in.

  “Ready?” He grits his teeth after the word slips out and is met with absolute silence.

  Neither of us says a word as the jeep bumps over the gravel lot until finally finding a smooth, quiet path on the main road.

  Once we pull onto Mr. Jansen’s property, I see a none-too happy Tristan pacing along the side of his red sports car. His work shirt is on and he immediately lowers his sunglasses to shoot me a pissed off glare.

  Alyssa jumps off my lap and I hop out behind her, grabbing her hand as I walk towards my brother’s car. Looking around, I notice Nick’s red truck is gone and Matt seems to be missing too. I forgo my goodbyes to Evan and Mitch and wave to all the girls.

  “See ya guys,” I yell out in the direction of the girls as Abby skips over.

  “Sooo … would you like to say thank you for the chocolate syrup and whipped cream?” she laughs and I look around to see where Alyssa is.

  She stands not too far away, saying goodbye to Evan and Tyler. She has a strained smile on her face and all I want to do is toss her in the car with me, take off and hide from the world and all the plans that I have spent years waiting for.

  “Hello �
�”

  I look back at Abby, “Sorry,” I smile then remember what she asked. “I didn’t use them.” I inform her bringing a shocked look to her face.

  “Oh come on … that’s no fun.”

  I shake my head and smile, knowing just how wrong she is. Some things don’t need to be sweetened, and there is no doubt in my mind that my mouth enjoyed everything just as much as I would have had there been chocolate and whipped topping involved.

  “Hey, but thanks a lot,” I tell her as she sneaks back over to join her friends.

  “Hey!” Tristan snaps as Alyssa walks back up to my side. “We have to go. I have to get to work.” His wording bleeds together.

  “Are you drunk, man?” I ask, lowering my voice as I move closer to him so everyone else doesn’t hear. “What the hell went on over here last night?”

  “No!” he shouts as he gets into the car. “I’m just hung over! Now get in!”

  Furious that he is acting like this, I pull Alyssa to the side of the passenger door and wrap my arms around her, not wanting to let go. She looks up at me with blood shot eyes that hold the same concerns as me.

  “Don’t worry. I’ll get him to switch seats with me when we gas up. I’ll be fine.” I kiss her lips gently then lean down so that my gaze is level with hers. “I’ll give you time to get home then I’ll call you a little later today … I love you.”

  Her arms fly around my neck and her shaky voice whispers “I love you, too,” in my ear.

  “There will be plenty of tail to chase at college. Let’s go!” Tristan’s choice of words has me spinning around, ready to rip the door off the hinges and throw him from the car.

  “Shut the hell up and give me a minute,” I snarl, leaning into the passenger side before returning my attention to her.

  “Ignore him, Alyssa.” I say beneath gritted teeth. “He doesn’t know anything about us. I love you and I will talk to you later today. Ok?” I kiss her one last time then get into the car beside my brother.

  “Aww … break my freaking heart,” he mumbles.

  I slam the door with enough force that I hope it leaves a damn dent in his precious baby. As I look up to see Alyssa’s eyes brimming with tears, my mood softens and I reach out to grab her hand.

  “Good grief,” Tristan spits out as he slams the car into drive and spins out causing me to release my grip, letting go of her hand sooner than I had hoped. My heart and head are conflicted, filled with anger from Tristan’s lack of respect and childish comment, yet overflowing with the sudden feeling of emptiness and loss. I stare out the passenger window until I can no longer see her beautiful face and golden locks of hair that spills around her shoulders. Images of Mom flickers through my mind for a second, as I headed out the door the morning before she had died. I could barely see her through the crack in the door as I held my hand up in a wave that I’m sure she could no longer register through the confusion of an oxygen mask, IV and feeding tube.

  As I look away from the window, Tristan’s foul mood reads loud and clear through a deep frown, low dipped eyebrows and an unyieldingly taut grip on the steering wheel. This is going to be a long trip but luckily, for now he remains silent. Slipping my phone out of my pocket, I type a message to Alyssa, not willing to wait to hear from her.

  Me: I know I told you last night how I feel but I just wanted to elaborate for a moment while I have a good 4-5 hours on my hands. Alyssa, you have completely thrown me for a loop this summer. I never expected to come out to the lake and walk away in love with the most amazingly beautiful girl I’ve ever met. You completely own my heart. It’s yours and I don’t want it back, I just want you! Ever since I can remember, all I’ve focused on is football and making it to UCLA … that was my dream. That isn’t my dream anymore. You are. You’re everything to me and I love you more than I ever thought imaginable. This is fast and I know it is, but why fight it when it is right, when it is meant to be and I know we are. I feel it. I knew it from the moment I saw you. I will call you later. I can’t wait to hear your voice. I love you!

  After half a million back spaces to delete and correct my ramblings, I smile down at my phone feeling completely comfortable with everything I wrote then hit send. ‘Message Failed to send’ lights up on my phone and I glance up to the corner of my phone to see that I have no service.

  “Damn reception,” I say under my breath.

  Slamming my phone down to my lap, I look up and see that Tristan is swerving. I twist in my seat and look behind us; another car is close on our tail, probably ready to report a drunk driver if there is any reception out this way.

  Heaving out a sigh, I look over pissed off and aggravated over the way everything always has to end up when he is involved. His knuckles are white and his hands hold the steering wheel like he is imagining choking someone.

  “Can I ask what your problem is?” I pause, but he never looks at me. “I mean from the second I walked onto the lot this morning, you were pissed off at me and ready to ruin my day. Is there ever going to be a day when we get along again?”

  I stare over at him and back to my phone to see if I have reception yet. For a minute, I consider dropping it, but then he chuckles like what I said amused him; there wasn’t a damn thing funny about what I said. Tristan has always had an acute talent of pushing my buttons and I always end up giving in, stooping to his level and playing right into his hands. Looking back, I see a small grin on his face. A blast of fury shoots through me and all I want to do is say something that will get to him as well, take a jab like he always does.

  “What? No girls put out last night?” I ask sarcastically then stare forward at the road, like a scorned child. At least he’s driving straight.

  “No problems there. Why, you need pointers? Could you not get the deed done last night?” he laughs, unaffected by my words.

  I need to keep my mouth shut and let this conversation end. A chime from my phone draws my attention away from the conflict at hand right in the nick of time. A message lights up across my phone notating that I only have twenty percent charge. I unfasten my seat belt and twist in my seat to reach the small back seat where my bag lies. Shoving my hand into the side pocket of my red duffel bag, I feel around until my hand falls on a long cord.

  Once I have my charger pulled out, I flip back around and shove one end into the car as a loud thump sounds. Snapping my head up, I see Tristan’s hand slamming down on the wheel.

  "Damn she got under my skin!" He bites out in an angry tone.

  This really came out of nowhere. "Who?" I ask totally confused.

  He's been with so many different girls that I lose track of which one he's with at what point.

  "Abby! Who the hell do you think?" He looks over at me for a brief moment then swings his eyes back to the road.

  Abby … this makes me want to laugh. Sure the one girl that shot him down is going to drive him insane with questions. Affixing my phone into the other end of the charger, I grip the armrest along the side of the door. He's driving these roads pretty fast and I find myself holding on for dear life.

  "Pull over and let me drive, Tristan. We can talk about it then," I say nervously.

  "I'm fine! I'm just pissed off that's it!" He lets out a loud sigh and I immediately smell whiskey.

  "Man, I thought you said you weren't drinking this morning! You reek of whiskey!" I yell out , ready to jump over and grab the wheel.

  Thank God, Jake is not in the car with us. Damn his irresponsibility!

  "I said I'm fine! I just..." He shakes his head. “I drank last night, not this morning.” He sighs and I wonder when last night ended, because it sure as hell seems like he drank clear into the morning by the way he is acting and the way he smells.

  "It's just a girl has never got to me like her. She's gotten under my skin ever since I met her three summers ago. Of course, that's when she was hung up on Mitch and wouldn’t give me the time of day."

  I'm more confused now. I thought him and Mitch were buddies. I also do not know
what he is talking about with Abby. From what I could see, she was flat out refusing his ass these past two weeks and I was thankful to finally see a girl with some sense.

  "Maybe someone needs to get under your skin. Maybe it would be good if you broke down that wall you built and let someone in," I mumble, knowing it won't go over well.

  The last thing my brother ever wants to discuss is feelings or closeness with someone. He wrote love off the moment Mom left this earth.

  "Shut up! Don't try to preach to me! Just because you have a new screw buddy doesn't mean you can lecture me."

  I immediately get on the defense, my fist clinching with the urge to punch him. Now he is back to pushing my buttons. Serves me right, I should have just listened and kept my mouth closed, but he is definitely not going to talk about Alyssa like that. I turn and face him with my finger pointed in his direction.

  "Don't freaking talk about Alyssa like that!"

  "Come on bro, she's someone you can get your freak on with just like your little friend...what's her name...ahh... Tiffany. It's cool … If anyone gets it, I do," he taunts me with a smirk that pisses me off even more.

  "No you don't get it,” my veins bubble with anger and venom, “She is way more than that and you would see that if you could manage to look beyond yourself and your selfish needs for once! You would see that I am finally happy! That I have found something I never thought I would find! Neither of us should be giving lectures on relationships, but I'll tell you what, I've learned more in the past two weeks than I have ever known! And don't ever compare us! I'm nothing like you!" My body shakes from the rush of adrenaline.

  Tristan doesn't say anything, just frowns with a hint of amusement. All of a sudden he busts out laughing. He has to be drunk.

  "Damn man, since I can't get with her sister maybe I could just borrow your girl."

  He’s trying to bait me … don’t fall for it like you always do.

  "They both have those tight little asses and the most amazing racks. Oh man, I would love to bend..."

  That’s it! Turning in my seat, I poke my finger at his arm and yell loud enough that my own ear drums may rupture.