Throwaway Girl
Page 13
I stand in the same spot for a long time, reflecting. The bookstore has long since cleared out and the staff is preparing to close. The lights are being dimmed and the money in the cash register is being counted.
“You ready, my love?” Austin says in a playful voice and I laugh. He places his hand gently on my back to guide me to the door. I love the way he touches me, how gentle and protective he is. He brushes the hair back from my face as we walk. But I don’t think of Marcus and the memories of him touching me that way, or of how he stole the last of my innocence.
Instead I think of Shelley and how she’d stroke my forehead before bed. I think of love and security and the healing of a mother’s love and how good memories have the power to outweigh the bad if we let them.
Austin opens the car door for me and watches to make sure that I get in alright. He skips excitedly to the driver’s side of the car just to make me laugh. He gets into the seat, buckles his seatbelt and looks at me, his eyes twinkling and so full of love that I feel it to the depths of my soul.
“I love you,” he says before backing out of the parking space. I smile as I watch him, his jaw locked and serious as he concentrates on the road. “We’re off,” he says. “Just me and my girl.”
We speed down the highway on the way to our new town, the sprawl of the city getting smaller in the distance. I throw my head back and close my eyes. My mind goes back to Trina and the night she planned to leave Haywood with her boyfriend. How I’d imagined how happy they’d be driving off to start their new life together. I think of her and how happy she’d be for me in this moment.
Then I start giggling uncontrollably, in between kisses from my boyfriend who is driving with one hand, his other wrapped around me protectively. The car is packed with our belongings, my hand resting comfortably on his thigh as we drive, feeling carefree and hopeful. I can’t help but realize my good fortune. This time, I’m not imagining it at all.
Acknowledgements
It turns out that it also takes a village to raise a book.
Special thanks to my agent, Arnold Gosewich, for taking a chance on me. I’d also like to thank the team at Dundurn Press for deciding that there was a place for this book.
To Fawn Nielsen, Maria Deutscher, and Leandra Clarke, who were so generous with their time in providing feedback on the book and support along the way.
To Susan McMillan, you are an absolute treasure and the epitome of an amazing teacher. I am indebted to you for your advice and insight with this book, but more importantly, your friendship.
To all social workers, foster parents, and other individuals who devote their lives to keeping vulnerable children safe.
To all teachers who aim to make a difference in a child’s life. Your words have a tremendous impact, and for that I offer special thanks to Denis Sanche and Clement Bertoncini, two teachers whose encouraging words and messages during my early years have always stayed with me. Thank you for teaching that little girl to believe in her dreams of being a writer.
To my mom, for taking the time to read every single draft; you really powered through this book with me.
To my dad, for trying to decipher every excited, incoherent phone call of this journey and for sharing in my joy. You always believed that it was just a matter of time. I wish you could have been here to see the final product.
To Rick, for being an example to me on how to live in the moment.
To my children and to Ben — this journey would be nothing without you.
More YA fiction from Dundurn
Picturing Alyssa
Alison Lohans
Who is the girl staring out of the old photograph? Every time Alyssa Dixon looks at it, even by accident, she finds herself on an Iowa farm in 1931. The past is nothing like Alyssa’s unhappy life, her mother severely depressed after the stillbirth of Alyssa’s baby sister; escalating bullying by Brooklynne, a popular girl; and a teacher who is unsympathetic toward Alyssa’s family’s pacifist beliefs.
Why can’t Alyssa live in the past with her new friend, Deborah? Yet Alyssa is always pulled back to the present, where things only get worse. Maybe the farm isn’t so idyllic, though. Deborah’s mother is ill with a difficult pregnancy, and there’s so much work. A series of old family photos shows Alyssa unsettling things about Deborah’s family, things Deborah seems not to know. Can Alyssa help the baby be born safely, and at the same time work through the overwhelming problems at home?
Beautiful Goodbye
Nancy Runstedler
Maggie’s life has been anything but easy lately. So when her best friend Gillian discovers a Ouija board in the attic, it’s a welcome relief. While they’d rather be at the mall than babysitting Maggie’s brother Cole, the girls figure it will be a fun way to spend a Saturday — asking questions about boys and other teenage dilemmas. After all, it’s just a game. Or is it?
Thinking nothing could possibly go wrong, the kids dive in, eager to test the new game, but discover the board will change their lives in ways they couldn’t have imagined. The trio ends up with more than they bargained for and are thrust into a whirlwind journey. One from which they might never return, if they aren’t careful.
Chasing the White Witch
Marina Cohen
Teased by her older brother, bullied by the popular girls at school, and plagued by a blistering pimple that has surfaced on the tip of her nose, twelve-year-old Claire Murphy wishes she could shrivel up and die or spontaneously combust. But when a mysterious book appears at her feet in the checkout aisle of a grocery store, Claire is confident all her troubles are over. Following the instructions carefully, Claire dives nose-first into reeking remedies, rollicking rituals, and silly spells. It’s only when she recklessly disregards the Law of Three that the line between good and evil blurs and Claire must race against time to undo all of the trouble she’s caused.
The Baby Experiment
Anne Dublin
Johanna is a 14-year-old Jewish girl who lives in Hamburg, Germany, in the early 18th century. She feels stifled by the daily drudgery of her life and dreams of seeing what lies outside the confines of the Jewish quarter. Johanna lies about her identity and gets a job as a caregiver at an orphanage. Until it’s too late, she doesn’t realize a secret experiment is taking place that results in the deaths of babies.
Deciding to kidnap one of the orphans, Johanna sets off for Amsterdam. She faces many dangers on her journey, including plague, bandits, storms and, not least of all, anti-Semitism. Johanna has a lot of courage and determination, but will it be enough to save the baby and reach her destination? Will she finally find a place where she can be free?
Available at your favourite bookseller
Dundurn.com
@dundurnpress
Facebook.com/dundurnpress
Pinterest.com/dundurnpress
Copyright © Kristine Scarrow, 2014
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise (except for brief passages for purposes of review) without the prior permission of Dundurn Press. Permission to photocopy should be requested from Access Copyright.
All characters in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
Editor: Carrie Gleason
Design: Jennifer Gallinger
Cover design by Courtney Horner
Cover image: © Sanjay Deva
Epub Design: Carmen Giraudy
Library and Archives Canada Cataloguing in Publication
Scarrow, Kristine, author
Throwaway girl / Kristine Scarrow.
Issued in print and electronic formats.
ISBN 978-1-4597-1407-6 (pbk.).--ISBN 978-1-4597-1408-3 (pdf)
--ISBN 978-1-4597-1409-0 (epub)
I. Title.
PS8637.C37T47 2014 jC813’.6 C2013-908363-4 C2013-908364-2
We acknowledge
the support of the Canada Council for the Arts and the Ontario Arts Council for our publishing program. We also acknowledge the financial support of the Government of Canada through the Canada Book Fund and Livres Canada Books, and the Government of Ontario through the Ontario Book Publishing Tax Credit and the Ontario Media Development Corporation.
Care has been taken to trace the ownership of copyright material used in this book. The author and the publisher welcome any information enabling them to rectify any references or credits in subsequent editions.
J. Kirk Howard, President
The publisher is not responsible for websites or their content unless they are owned by the publisher.
Visit us at: Dundurn.com
@dundurnpress
Facebook.com/dundurnpress
Pinterest.com/dundurnpress