Stolen Fate

by S. Nelson

  “It’s really something, isn’t it? A real miracle,” I say as I continue to try and disconnect from whatever I’m feeling toward him. Drayden keeps his hand on my belly for a few more minutes, feeling about five more kicks from our baby. I think this just made his night, washing away whatever hardships he encountered throughout his day.

  “Thank you, Essie.”

  “For what?”

  “For sharing that with me.” He looks away from me then, maybe afraid I’ll urge him to continue our brief interaction. He pulls himself out of the water and walks over to grab his towel. The water is cascading down his powerful body and no matter what I tell myself, I can’t look away. He is gorgeous. His body is perfectly sculpted, just like I remembered it to be.

  He catches me staring at him.

  He smiles at me.

  He fucking smiles at me.

  I smile back. Then that’s it. He disappears into the house and out of view.

  As I’m lying in bed, I replay our special moment over and over in my head, fantasizing that it could have turned into something more. But alas, it will never be. I hope there’ll be similar glimpses of happiness in the near future.

  Hey, a desperate girl can dream. Can’t she?

  ~~~~

  “You know the drill by now, Essie. This is going to be cold.” Dr. Higgins pulls the top of my blue skirt down a bit and squirts some gel on my stomach. And he’s right, it is cold. Immediately afterwards, he puts that camera thingy on my stomach and moves it around to get the right angle to see the baby. And there he or she is, looking all squished and perfect. It still amazes me a human being can have enough room inside me to grow and just be.

  I do everything in my power to ensure the safety of this little one. I read up on all the things you should and shouldn’t do while pregnant. I don’t color my hair, which I don’t need to do anyway; there is no grey hair popping out underneath my mass of chestnut waves. I eat the right kind of food, staying away from a lot of seafood, and don’t overindulge in too many sweets. And I make sure to get my exercise, mainly utilizing the pool for that. I’m not sure if everything I read is one hundred percent accurate or anything, but it’s the only thing I have to go by, so I take it and run with it.

  Once our child is in full view, the next thing which follows is the mesmerizing sound of the heartbeat. It fills up the vast space of the room, allowing both of us to sit back and be in awe of such a glorious sound.

  “Do you want to know the sex of the baby? Because I can tell you if you want to know,” the doctor says.

  “Yes,” Drayden affirms while I shout “No” at the same time. The doctor looks at us in surprise but doesn’t say anything. When I realize Drayden won’t budge on this, I come up with a proposal.

  “Doc, can you let him know but not me? Is that possible?”

  “Sure.” Dr. Higgins leans over toward his ear and whispers the sex of our baby. As soon as he moves away from him, I can’t discern anything. Drayden’s face is devoid of any expression. And it’s in that moment I realize he’s trying not to ruin it for me, respecting my wish to not know until the birth. My heart expands a little, touched he chose to react this way. But I can’t read too much into it or I’ll end up disappointing myself.

  The rest of the appointment passes relatively quickly and by the time we’re done, my stomach is rumbling. Walking out toward his car, he hears it, too.

  “Do you want to stop off and grab a bite to eat? I can hear your stomach from all the way over here.” He is still sort of smiling when I look over at him.

  “Sure. Anywhere is fine. Thanks.”

  We pull up to a nice, quaint restaurant and thankfully don’t have to wait very long before our food is delivered. We sit across from each other, not quite knowing what to say. For once, the awkward and tense air between us is uneasy. Normally, one of us is brewing with some kind of anger, so it’s easy to sit there and stew in it. But this is different. We just experienced a wonderful thing together but neither one of us knows how to expand on it.

  “We should probably start to think about discussing baby names. And please don’t give it away by naming off a particular sex’s name. That’ll just make it obvious.” I blurt all of this out between bites of my chicken.

  “Ok. You come up with some girl names and I’ll come up with some boy names and we’ll see where we land.” His eyes are set on my face, actually engaging me in a real conversation. “Fair enough?”

  “Yeah, fair enough. I think I actually have a baby book of names back at the house. I can give it to you when I’m done.”

  The rest of our dinner passes by in silence, but I don’t really care because I’m too excited to get my hands on that book and start making my list. I’m thankful he doesn’t pull a dick move and blurt out the sex of the baby. His gesture goes a long way to helping me see what type of man he is, even if that insight hurts like hell. He’s a good man. I know it deep down, but I don’t want to see it because it will only reaffirm how much I messed everything up. And right now, the only thing I want to focus on is baby names.

  Maybe this is the start of coming to an agreement between us. A civil agreement. If I have to pinpoint when it all changed, I would have to say it was when he felt the baby kick last night.

  Hopefully I’m not being totally delusional. I want to remain in this bubble of hope for as long as possible. I yearn for some sense of normality, whatever that might mean.

  { Chapter 23 }

  Two weeks later, out of the blue, Drayden informs me he’s having his family over for a cookout. I’m shocked at first, seeing as how I’ve only met his older brother Eli and, briefly, his mother. He said it’s time his family meets me and gets to know me because I’m going to be a permanent fixture in his life going forward. I won’t even allow my mind to go there. If I do, I’ll work myself up into some story where he and I somehow live happily ever after, becoming a real family. And I know it’s not what he meant by that. There will be no happily ever after for the two of us. There is too much bad blood between us for him to ever forgive me enough to actually want to be with me.

  But at least he’s happy about the baby. I can be thrilled he’ll be an active part of our child’s life, and after all, isn’t that what’s really important?

  I’m in the kitchen helping his cook Donna get ready for the party. He said I don’t have to do anything, that he wants me to sit back and relax, but I tell him I want to be productive. I don’t want his family to think I’m sponging off him¸ even though it’s exactly what I’m doing. But then again, he didn’t really leave me any choice, locking me up here in the first place.

  Finally, when he sees I’m getting upset, he relents. He does that a lot lately. He goes out of his way to not upset me which I think is odd yet comforting.

  Again, I won’t overanalyze.

  His mother Vivian is the first to arrive. She comes in carrying a huge tray of homemade pasta salad. My mouth is already salivating as soon as she puts it on the table.

  “Hi, sweetheart,” she says as she envelops me in a big, motherly hug. Just like last time, she is dressed to kill. She exudes class, from the tips of her designer heels to the top of her blonde-highlighted hair. She chose to wear a beautiful, warm ivory sundress, complete with hat and shades. She actually looks like she stepped right out of an old-time movie but with the air of current sophistication.

  “Hi, Mrs. Warner.”

  “Essie, please, call me Vivian.” She fakes an annoyed look before winking at me, making me relax instantly. I’m sure she knows I’m on edge, and her warmth does wonders for my nerves.

  “Sorry. Vivian.” She holds me at arm’s length, her eyes going right to her soon-to-be grandchild. I know she’s secretly hoping things will develop further between me and her son. I don’t want to be the one to burst the bubble for her, though. No, I’ll leave that up to Drayden.

  “How are you feeling, honey?” She takes a seat at the kitchen table, gesturing for me to join her.

  “I’m doi
ng well, thank you. We went to the doctor’s a couple weeks ago and found out the sex of the baby.” Her eyes get wide but before she can pressure me for an answer, I tell her my side of things. “I don’t want to know, not before he or she is born. I want to be surprised. But that son of yours just had to know beforehand. So if you want the information, you’re going to have to go and talk to him. But can you do me a favor? Please don’t let it slip in front of me.”

  “Of course not. My lips will be sealed. I’m so happy this is happening for you both. Now, if only there was a way to get that son of mine to make an honest woman out of you,” she says as she starts to laugh.

  Ready to respond to her crazy statement, I’m halted by Drayden strolling into the kitchen. He’s followed by a barrage of people. I instantly notice Eli, who walks around the table and gives me a quick kiss on the cheek. Drayden doesn’t miss his actions, instantly looking like he wants to hurt his brother.

  Can he actually be jealous of Eli? Does that mean he feels a certain type of way about me? Even though I’m curious, I’m not even going to question him about it because I know for sure we’ll start to argue. And it’s been going pretty good between us recently, so I don’t want to rock the boat.

  I’m not so sure who the other people filing into the kitchen are, but I know they’re his family members. Drayden actually has the decency to formally introduce me to his two younger brothers, Dexter and Calhoun. Or Dex and Cal for short. I shake hands with them and exchange genuine smiles.

  Man, these guys have some very unusual names.

  Dex is next in line in the family tree right after Drayden, making Cal the baby of the family. The two younger men look more alike than any of them, causing many a heartbreak I’m sure. Both are adorned with dark waves but while Dex’s hairstyle is short and close to his head, Cal’s hair is longer and wavier. Today, they look like they are getting ready to go on a photo shoot, dressed in preppy-casual attire. Long board shorts, polo shirts and loafers make up their ensemble. While the clothing is more attributed to carefree playboys, there is no mistaking the seriousness and warm feelings these two emit to everyone around them.

  Next, I’m introduced to their wives, who are also very warm and welcoming. Dex’s wife, Dela, is a petite blonde with a spunky personality. But Cal’s wife, Bridgette, is the complete opposite. She is tall and has long, fiery-red hair, her personality not matching her physicality at all. She seems very shy and reserved but friendly all the same.

  Thankfully, Drayden has gone ahead and informed me ahead of time his whole family knows we’re not a couple, so no one should be asking any inappropriate questions or putting me on the spot. But if I know anything about women, it’s that they are going to try and get some kind of dirt out of me anyway. I’m going to have to deflect all of their questions to him, though, because I don’t know what I should and shouldn’t say at this point in the game.

  I get up from my seat and have to shuffle to the side quickly so I’m not run over by some overly-excited kids barreling through the kitchen. There are six in all, ranging from twelve all the way down to two. Their names are rattled off so quickly I can’t even begin to remember what they are. Dex and Dela take ownership of four of them, while Cal and Bridgette claim the other two.

  I’m jealous over the fact I’ve never been part of a family like this. A family who clearly loves one another and actually wants to be around each other. I longed for this my whole life, and the fact it’s still out of my reach is something which digs deep into my heart.

  Vivian interrupts the beautiful chaos, drawing all attention toward her. “So, Dray, Essie tells me you know the sex of the baby.”

  That gets everyone’s attention.

  “I do.” Those two words are all he says before going back to gathering some utensils for the grill.

  “Well, come on, man. Spill it.” Cal is the one who is trying to get the information from him. I’m praying he doesn’t blurt it out with me right there in the room. I’m hoping his thoughtful streak will at least continue until I’m able to excuse myself.

  “Nope. Essie wants to be surprised, so my lips are sealed.” He looks over in my direction and gives me a subtle wink. A wink. Who is this man and what has he done with the stubborn, infuriating, challenging one known as Drayden Warner?

  There is a collective, playful groan of frustration from his family, but they respect his stance and don’t press him further.

  “Uncle Dway,” a tiny voice calls out. It’s one of his nephews, Isaac, I think his name is.

  Drayden leans down and picks up the boy so they’re both at eye level. “What’s up, buddy?”

  “Mommy says you having a baby. Where is it?” The boy is fidgeting in his uncle’s arms, clearly full of boundless energy.

  “Well, your mommy is right. But the baby isn’t here yet. It’s still cooking in the oven.” The boy’s eyes go big and he wiggles to get out of Drayden’s arms. As soon as his feet hit the ground, he runs over to the actual oven and tries to peer inside.

  “I don’t see it, Uncle Dway.” He’s still looking when all of the adults bust out laughing. The boy’s mother, Dela, smacks Dray on the arm before heading over to grab her son away from the appliance.

  “Nice one, Brother,” Dex says. “Now we’re going to have to explain to a three-year-old where the baby is really housed.” He’s laughing the whole time, which is amusing all by itself.

  “Have fun with all that,” Dray responds, delighting in his brother’s new predicament.

  “You wait until your child asks those questions. Then see what happens.”

  There is such joy and happiness permeating through the kitchen I’m instantly caught up in it. I’m smiling as wide as can be, even laughing harder than I think I ever have before.

  This feels like home, but I know it’s someone else’s fantasy.

  My life will surely take the turn it always does, down the dark road of bad luck which seems to always find me.

  { Chapter 24 }

  The festivities are in full swing and everyone is having a great time, myself included. The women all huddle around me, asking me all sorts of questions about my pregnancy but not once touching on anything from my past. I’m very grateful for that. I don’t want to lie to them, but I also don’t want to delve back to such a dark time in my life.

  They would surely be able to see me for the opportunist I am.

  Well, the opportunist I used to be.

  “So, Essie,” Bridgette swings her attention to me. “Have you guys come up with any baby names yet? Can you at least tell us that?” Her mass of red hair is blowing in the slight breeze. She is quite a beautiful woman, her pale-green eyes in direct contrast to the color of her long waves.

  We’re sitting at one of the tables specifically set up for today, shadowed by a huge umbrella. I lean over to whisper some of the names I’ve come up with to the ladies who are sitting with me, but I’m interrupted before I can reveal the first name.

  “Don’t be so secretive, Essie. I want to hear what crazy names you plan on naming our child if it turns out to be a girl.” Drayden is standing close by, helping man the grill with his brother Dex, but I didn’t think he was paying any attention to me.

  Thrilled to know I’m wrong, I look up and glance over in his direction. I’m gifted with the sight of him smiling over at our table. I would like to say he’s smiling specifically at me, but I don’t want to delude myself. I know he’s in a good mood because he’s surrounded by his family, who he obviously cares a lot about, even though this is the first time in months he has had them over for a visit.

  Or maybe, he’s just good at putting on a front for everyone, not wanting to reveal the true nature of our relationship. The only other person who is privy to that is Eli, who, by the way, has been not-so-subtly glancing back and forth between the both of us and smirking.

  Does he know something I don’t?

  Drayden is dressed in tan board shorts and a nice, fitted white T-shirt. He’s wearing a base
ball cap, something I’ve never seen on him before, and a black pair of designer sunglasses. I’m distracted because I’m checking him out and being pretty obvious about it, too. Once I scan his whole body, I realize he’s barefoot. How can I think a guy’s feet are sexy? Well, his are.

  He’s fuckably-sexy.

  “I was riddled with those horny hormones, too, honey,” Dela says before I can correct my full-on-stalker stare. “How do you think we ended up with four children?” She laughs, which instantly puts me at ease, causing me to smile.

  It is then I realize his family probably assumes we’re still having sex, a thought I’m now suddenly self-conscious about. We aren’t. I wished we were, but we just aren’t.

  “Well? I’m waiting,” Drayden says, still grinning as he takes a swig from his beer.

  I totally forgot he had even said anything.

  “Okay, well, I was thinking maybe either Blythe or Blanche.” I rattle off the two names with some reservation, not sure exactly what he will think or say in response.

  “What is she, eighty? Uh, no. What else you got?” I guess I was right to be wary.

  “Hey, I like Blythe,” his mother says, reaching over and gripping my hand. I squeeze back and smile at her.

  “Then you can convince one of these other two to name their next child that.” Both Dex and Cal shake their heads in unison, as if the very thought is going to send them running for the hills. Their wives laugh and give their men the look. The one which says if I want another baby, you will damn well give me one, without argument. Anyone with eyes can see these men are very taken with their women and would definitely cave and give them anything they want.

  I want to find someone who will look at me with the same love and intensity.

  Maybe the man standing twenty feet away from me could have been like that for me. But I had to go and mess it up by just being me, always looking for the easy way out in life instead of actually connecting with people.