by S. Nelson
He looked over at me to gauge my reaction so far. He sees the true interest in my eyes and finishes his story. “Anyway, we continued to argue but she got so fed up with me, she decided to leave and take a drive. Anything to get away from me. But of course, I couldn’t just let her calm down. Or myself, for that matter. So I followed her out to the car and got in the passenger side. I wasn’t about to let her go anywhere until I had said my peace. Our argument became so heated at one point, she took her eyes off the road and in that split second, another car came barreling out of nowhere and crashed into us head-on.” He stops for a bit to collect himself, but after a few minutes, it doesn’t look like he’s going to finish.
I put my hand on his knee and give it a gentle squeeze. He flinches at my soft touch and looks over at me. His eyes are glassy, and while I know this is very difficult for him to do, I don’t want him to stop. “What happened, Drayden?”
He gets up and walks toward the kitchen, his back to me the whole time. “Elizabeth was killed on impact. And I…well, let’s just say I had more broken bones than not. I was in intensive care for six weeks before they even felt comfortable enough to give any kind of good news to my family.” He turns around to face me, a look of pain and regret etched into every line on his beautiful face. “That was six years ago, but the guilt I carry with me is still fresh.”
Rising from the couch, I make my way toward him. I want to comfort him and tell him it isn’t his fault, but I’m not sure if it will do any good. I try nonetheless. “Drayden,” I say as I reach out to touch his arm. “It wasn’t your fault. Couples fight. They do. It was just a horrible accident.”
He dismisses my words as if I haven’t even spoken them. “You know what I thought when they told me the chances of me having kids were slim to none?” I shake my head. “That it was the start of the kind of punishment I deserved.”
“Oh, Dray.” I lean in to give him a hug but he keeps his distance, holding my arms to maintain the space he obviously needs.
“Then when I found out you were pregnant with my baby, those old feelings resurfaced all over again. I deserved to live with my punishment, and you giving me a child was like me spitting in the face of fate, taunting it yet again. And then….then Ethan died. And again, I knew it was the punishment I deserved.”
He lets go of me and walks back toward the door. Is he leaving? Is he going to throw that heavy shit out there then just take off?
Oh, hell no!
As he’s about to make his escape, I race past him and slam the door shut. He’s surprised by my outburst because he releases the handle as if it’s on fire and takes a couple steps back.
“It wasn’t fate’s doing or punishment for you which made our baby die. It was mine. Or at least, I used to think so. That it was my fault because of what I did to you. But over time, I realized it wasn’t anyone’s fault. Not yours or mine. What happened was something unexplainable. We will never know why. We just have to find a way to live with it and move on the best we can.”
I’m tired. Tired of the what ifs and of the whole blame-naming game. If the purpose of me being pregnant was to show me there’s a better way to be, then I will grab on to the revelation and run with it for as long as I can.
His mouth is on me before I even see him approach. Snatching my body up, he pulls me close to him, not wanting any space between us for this. He breaks our kiss to confess something. “I’m so sorry for the way I treated you, Essie. I said some very cruel things, and I regret it every day. Please, tell me you forgive me.”
I’m stunned. Never in my wildest imagination did I ever think he would say something like that. He really had nothing to apologize for. If anything, I’m the one who should be begging for his forgiveness. So it’s exactly what I do.
“I’m the one who needs forgiveness, Drayden. What I put you through was deceptive and cruel. Then on top of that, I gave you hope of a child only for it to be ripped away.”
“It wasn’t your fault, like you said.”
“I know it wasn’t. But it still happened and I’m so sorry.” Tears stream down my face. I can’t hold anything back anymore. I want him. I want us. I’m both happy and relieved he finally shared a tiny piece of himself with me tonight, even though it was difficult for him to do so. There are things we’re both dealing with, but now that we have the other’s trust and understanding, it will make it easier to move forward.
Not only with each other but with life, in general.
Once my tears dry up, he leans down and kisses me again. And just like back at his house last night, it’s sweet and comforting at first but quickly turns into raw passion just as fast.
“Please, Essie,” he says between kisses. “I need you. And I think you need me, too.” His mouth is nipping and biting my skin, tantalizing the flesh of my throat as he makes his way toward my ear. “I need to be buried deep inside you. Please.”
Well, holy hell. His words are like a current shot straight through my soul. Liquid desire pools between my thighs, and I want nothing more than to be joined as one with this glorious man. I utter no words, instead I simply start walking backward toward my bedroom.
Before we make it down the hallway, I stop short and stare up at him. There is something which has been burning in my brain for months now, and I have to know the answer. I’m hoping he’ll tell me the truth, no matter what. As long as he doesn’t lie to me, I think I’ll be able to handle it.
“Drayden,” I say in a low whisper. His interest is piqued and all his attention is on me. “I’m going to ask you something, and I want you to be a hundred percent honest with me. Okay?”
He tilts his head to the side in preparation for whatever is going to come flying from my mouth. “Sure thing, babe. What is it?”
“During the entire time we’ve known each other…” I pause for a second before continuing. “Have you been with anyone else? And before you answer, I want to tell you, although the thought of you with another woman is torture to me, I fully understand if you did. I just need to know. As long as you don’t lie to me, I can move forward. With us.”
I’m not quite sure what I want him to say to me. Yes, I told him I want to know the truth, but do I really? What if he tells me he slept with that Dahlia chick from his office, or if he picked up random women when he wasn’t at home with me? Without even realizing it, I start walking backward, I guess trying to get away from whatever he was going to lay at my feet as soon as he parted his lips.
He senses my dismay and propels his body toward me. “Baby, there has never been anyone else. I haven’t been with anyone since the night we met. You don’t have to worry about anything. I’m yours.” He leans closer to me and kisses me with an intense passion, begging for me to take his words to heart. “I’ve always been yours, even before we met. I’ve been waiting for you, Essie. And now that you’re mine, I’ll never let you go.”
I believe him; there is no doubt in my mind anymore. I visibly relax with the revelation. Not wanting to waste any more time, he bends down and hoists me over his shoulder. Once inside my room, he slowly lowers me to the ground, but not before every part of me touches and rubs against every part of him.
“I’ve waited for this for too long, Drayden,” I say slowly, trying to control my erratic breathing.
His reply turns me to jelly. “I want you so badly, I can taste it.” His hand brushes over my sex and he taunts me. “And taste you I will.” Before a response falls from my lips, he turns me around so he can undo my dress. He grabs the zipper and slowly drags the teeth down until the back is wide open, exposing my black lace bra and barely-there matching thong. “You’re the sexiest woman, Essie. Do you know that?” He bites my earlobe, sending lust spiraling through my system.
He turns me back around when my dress is pooled into a heap on the bedroom floor. I’m standing in front of him in my flimsy underwear, provoking him, tempting him to touch me. And when he takes the bait and reaches out, I back away. “No, no, no,” I say with a smile on my lips
. “You have to be patient,” I tease while biting my lower lip. When I get his attention once again, I reach around my back and unhook my bra. Drawing the straps over my arms, I hold it out to the side and let it drop slowly from my fingertips.
He has teased me for months, always being just within my grasp but unreachable. I’m going to enjoy torturing him for as long as he will allow.
For as long as I’m able to hold out.
He gets the hint because he stands there but never takes his eyes from my body, from my face. “You’re going to kill me with desire, sweetheart.”
“That’s my intention.” I reach down, still holding onto his gaze, and hook my thumbs into the tiny fabric of my thong. As slowly as possible, I hitch them down over my shapely hips and long legs until they join my now-crumpled dress. I’m left standing there in nothing but my sexy high-heeled shoes. Shoes I’m planning on leaving on.
He’s growing frustrated. He can’t touch me and it’s driving him insane. He runs his hand through his dark tresses, messing his hair in that sexy way he does. My own self-control is wavering, so I better hurry before he turns the tables on me.
“Do you want me to fuck you?” he asks as he draws his bottom lip into his mouth. He quickly releases it, reaffirming exactly how full and inviting it is.
“Yes, but all in due time.” I stalk toward him; this time I’m the predator hunting the prey. “All in due time,” I repeat. I reach out and run my hand down his cheek, feeling his slight stubble on the back of my hand. I quickly wonder how it’ll feel between my thighs as he lavishes me with his tongue.
But before we even get to that point, I have to make sure he’s as naked as I am. Reaching forward, I start undoing the buttons of his shirt one by one, taking my time and kissing every area which is begging for my mouth. He groans as I bite his tempting skin, lavishing my tongue immediately over the affected area, soothing him and enticing him all at the same time. Before I can stop myself, my lips are covering the scar on his shoulder. I feel him tense for a split second, but then he relaxes into my touch.
“Does it still hurt?” I ask him tenderly.
“Only emotionally. But you’re doing wonders at taking even that pain away.” He smiles sweetly at me before turning his lips back into desire-filled temptation.
Once his shirt is removed, I go to work on his pants, slowly dragging his belt through every loop until I have it wrapped around my hands. It’s a tangled mess, begging to be used.
“You’re driving me insane, woman,” he growls, barely holding on to his sanity.
“I’m only returning the favor.” I glance down at the belt then back up at him. “We might be using this soon.” And from the look on his face, he’s clearly on board.
I wrestle with the waist of his pants, rip open the button and quickly draw the zipper down until the fabric falls down around his ankles. He steps out, taking his shoes and socks along with them, and kicks everything to the side.
As I’m palming his erection, it dawns on me I’ve never touched him like this before. I’ve seen him in all of his glory but I never had the opportunity to touch it, to feel him in my hand, growing larger from his desire. I want to show him just how much I want him in this moment, so I slowly lower myself until my knees feel the soft cushion of the carpet.
I pull the waistband of his white boxer briefs away from his body, allowing his cock to spring free. It stands at full attention, even pulsating for me, tempting me to swallow him whole. And I will gladly oblige.
“Fuck, Essie, what are you doing to me?” He looks down at me, licks his lips in that sexy way of his and simply says, “Please.”
I don’t need him to say it again. I’m so ready to show him how much I want to taste him. Running my tongue over my lips, I moisten them so he’ll slide smoothly inside my mouth. Lowering my head even more, I tease the tip of him with a little bit of my tongue, drawing his lust to the surface. He quickly responds with a drop of pre-cum and I take full advantage. I run my thumb all over his head, coating him in his own want before I lick him clean.
“Does that feel good? Do you want more of my lips wrapped around you?” I’ve never spoken to him like this before and I have to say, it’s freeing. Asking him if I’m pleasing him and verbalizing what I want to do to him is a major turn-on. I know right in this moment, I hold all the power. And that power is intoxicating. I can make this man crumble to his knees with a simple flick of my tongue, the part of my lips and the warmth of my needy mouth.
“You feel amazing. I want to fuck every part of your delectable body, starting with your sweet mouth.” He reaches down and pulls my hair, pushing himself further inside, teasing both of us. I’m hungry for him and it shows in every movement I make. I gently nip his crown, baring my teeth at first then running the flat of my tongue all over the most sensitive part of him.
His salty essence mixed with my lust makes for an intoxicating concoction. I make sure to tease and torment him, not wanting this to end too soon. But the more I torment him, the more frustrated he becomes, which in turn makes his demands more aggressive.
Swiveling his hips, he pushes himself further between my lips, hitting the back of my throat. Good thing for me I’m able to control my gag reflex, opening up my throat to take him in deeper. One hand is wrapped around his shaft, stroking him as I suck him hard, while my other hand reaches under and runs along the sensitive skin between his heaviness and the region which is off-limits. He groans and grips my hair between his fingers again, driving himself home. After I’m done sliding my finger over his soft skin, I grab his sac with the slightest pressure, adding to the assault I’m inflicting on the rest of him.
He thickens in my mouth, giving away he’s close to exploding. But before I can even revel in the taste of his excitement, he withdraws, causing my lips to make a popping sound. I look up at him in confusion but he’s just standing above me, his chest expanding too fast. He looks like a man on the brink who is trying to gain some semblance of control before he strikes.
Little does he know, I yearn for his unfettered attack.
All over me.
He leans down and helps me to my feet, but still he says nothing. His eyes bore into mine, silently speaking his desires to me.
I can literally stand here all day in front of him, naked in every sense, and just exist. Just the two of us. But it isn’t to be. He definitely has other plans, and I’m only too happy to be a participant. Walking forward, he causes me to take steps away from him, nearing the bed at a hastened pace.
“Whatever are you doing, Drayden?” I playfully ask as my lids grow heavy with yearning.
“I’m going to spread you wide and taste you on my tongue. I’m going to make you writhe under my touch and scream my name so loud, you won’t be able to talk for a week. Fuck, when I get done with you, you won’t be able to walk for a week.”
He reaches out quicker than I can respond and hauls me into his body, smashing his lips down on mine. His hands are roaming all over my back, caressing and bruising me. He lowers them to cup my backside so he can push his arousal into my belly. His lips break free and he rains kisses along my neck, whispering, “I’ve waited too long for this, Essie,” in my ear, sending a tremor of shivers through my entire body.
I have no words.
I exist in this moment only to please him in any and all ways possible. And by doing so, he will gift me with the same pleasure.
I end up exactly where I want: on my back, looking up into his face and begging for his touch. Wasting no time, he crawls up the bed and stops when he nudges his thigh between my legs, spreading me for what is to be the most erotic foreplay of my life.
The way Drayden worships my body is something I’ve never dreamt possible. He’s expressing the way he feels about me with every kiss and caress of my burning skin. I’m so turned on, if he even looks at me with that sexy grin he has, I’ll come right on the spot. He’s torturing me and loving every blessed second of it.
But I’m not complaining.
“What have you done to me, baby?” he whispers as he lowers his head, his breath spreading out over my sex, making me arch my back off the bed. I’m searching for his mouth to put me out of my delicious misery.
The flick of his tongue hits my clit and makes me cry out. Instantly, my hands cup the swell of my breasts, twisting my pink tips until they’re so erect, it’s bordering on painful. He groans at the sight, which causes him to sink his tongue as deep inside me as possible.
“Drayden!” I cry out. “Don’t stop.” I’m putty in his hands, writhing around on the bed so much he has to lay a strong arm across my belly just to hold me still.
It’s too much.
His touch is burning my soul. I never thought I would be here, in this moment, with this man. There is no going back now and we both know it. We’re strengthening our bond with every kiss, touch and desire for each other. But it’s just as scary at the same time. I’ve never felt this way for another man in my entire life. Granted, I’ve never met someone like Drayden Warner either, but the fact I’m whole-heartedly falling in love with him is something which plays with my head.
I’m thrust out of my thoughts when he pushes a finger deep inside me, eliciting a moan which rockets from somewhere deep in my throat.
“Do you like that? Do you like when I fuck you with my hand? With my mouth?” He pushes his finger in deeper, urging me to answer. “Answer me, Essie, or I’ll stop right now.”
I don’t want this to stop so I give in and answer him, although my voice is so breathy I’m surprised he even hears me. “Yes…I love it.” I switch my hips up in a circular motion, trying to create the friction which was there seconds ago. My body is begging for a release, something which has been building for months now. “I love that your touch coaxes me to come with the slightest movement.”
