by S. Nelson
“Just wait until I bury myself inside your sweet body. I’m going to make you come so hard you won’t even be able to recognize your own moans.” He withdraws his finger only to be joined with another before he enters me again, stretching me in the most delicious way. “But first, I want you to come on my hand.” He thrusts in and out, twitching his fingers and making sure to hit that one spot just within his reach.
I feel my body taking over, starting to react to his ministrations. I can’t control it even if I want to, which I don’t. There is a slow burn starting to resonate deep in my belly, teasing me, begging me to let go. I close my eyes and give in to the orgasm building and building, threatening my sanity with its powerful waves of ecstasy.
“I’m gonna come…Drayden, I’m gonna come.” My words come out in short, choppy spurts because I’m no longer able to function. I grip the sheets so hard, my knuckles are turning white. His mouth descends on me one last time, sucking on my clit as he works his fingers relentlessly inside me.
I come hard; it’s bordering on excruciating. The sensations are nothing I’ve ever experienced before, even during the two prior times we had sex. The combination of his mouth and his hand are both my demise and my salvation, threatening to undo me and build me back up. It’s nerve-wracking and safe, torturous and calming.
I look down to where he’s still positioned between my legs. Our eyes meet and he smirks, obviously very proud of himself.
And he very well should be.
He moves up my body, slowly nipping and kissing every part of me until he’s directly above me. His mouth is so close to mine his breath tickles my lips. His cock is playing near my entrance, tempting me to push closer to him so he’ll nudge past the barrier and take me with all the force he’s holding onto.
But before I’m lost in my own fervor, a quick thought burns its way into my brain. “Dray,” I say as my hands are running up and down his back, feeling every corded muscle on his torso. “Don’t you think it’s smart for us to use protection this time?” His blue eyes lock on mine as he contemplates my awkward question. We haven’t once discussed anything remotely to do with birth control, probably because we didn’t expect to end up right here.
But here we are.
“There is no way it’ll happen again, baby. But if it makes you feel any better, you can start taking the pill or get a shot or something. Tomorrow. Right now, I want to get back to it.” He smiles as he tilts his head down toward me again. I stop him by putting my hand on his shoulder and shoving him back a little.
“Why do I have to go on the pill or take a shot? Why can’t you just wear a condom?”
“Because I don’t want there to be anything between us when I take you, that’s why.”
All right, that’s a solid argument.
Deciding to deal with it tomorrow, I raise my head and capture his mouth, pushing his lips apart with my eager tongue. He accepts me and his kiss turns demanding. Without breaking our connection, he thrusts himself deep in one fluid motion, causing me to gasp. He takes this opportunity to bite my lower lip, making me jolt upwards, pulling him even deeper.
“Fuck me, woman,” he growls. “You feel so good I’m going to lose it if we stay like this.” He backs up and rolls me on top of him. In one movement, he’s on his back and leaning against the headboard, all while I’m straddling his hips. “Ride me, Essie. Show me how much you crave me.”
I clasp his broad shoulders, steadying myself for a better position while I rise up and down on him slowly, dragging out both of our pleasure. Just as he’s at the point when only the tip of him remains inside me, I slam back down on top of him. He’s buried so deep, I swear he’s hitting places I didn’t even know existed.
He throws his head back, causing his eyes to become even heavier with desire. “Do you like that?” I ask as I’m trying to control my own smirk this time.
“You’re trying to punish me, aren’t you?” His hands reach up and seize my nipples, twisting them between his thumb and forefinger, bringing them to a heady peak. When he’s done teasing, his mouth claims them one at a time. He flicks his tongue over each one, making me ache even more for his touch.
“And now you’re punishing me. Well played, Dray,” I say while I continue to ride him.
He winks at me and says, “Tit for tat, I suppose.”
I would laugh if I wasn’t on the verge of another explosion. I swivel my hips around each time I crash back down on him. And I know when he’s getting close, as well; his jaw tenses and his breaths come in quicker, uncontrollable rhythms.
He props up closer to me so his sculpted chest is pressing against my breasts, eliciting yet another spark of need to pass between us. Reaching around, he holds my firm cheeks and pushes himself into me further, holding me in such a way I can barely move. His hold is strong, and his intent is to make me come yet again before he chases his own release.
And it works. He’s able to move in such a way, the friction he’s creating both inside and outside of my body is enough to bring on another wave of pleasure.
I detonate again as his mouth swallows my screams. He sucks on my tongue as my body contracts and squeezes every thick inch of him. Then, as I’m coming back down, his thrusts increase until he pants out from his own orgasm. He cries out my name before biting down on my shoulder, not quite breaking the skin but definitely leaving his mark on my body.
His aggressiveness is not a surprise, and it’s most definitely welcome.
We’re about to move from our current sitting position into something a little more comfortable when he draws my eyes back to his. He kisses me sweetly before he says something which literally takes my breath away.
“I love you, Essie.” When I don’t say anything, he continues, “I think I’ve loved you for some time now, but I was afraid to say anything. I just wasn’t sure how you felt about me, but now…now I can’t hold off any more.” He’s trying to read my reaction but I really don’t have one. I don’t know what to say. I don’t know how to act in this moment. When he senses he’s shocked me into silence, he continues with, “I just wanted you to know.”
He quickly positions us so his body is cupping me from behind, mine arching into the natural curve of how our bodies form together. His arm is strewn over my stomach, holding me close. He kisses the back of my head before he gives into a wave of exhaustion.
But I’m still wide-awake. I keep repeating his words over and over in my head. I love you, Essie. I think I’ve loved you for some time now. I’ve never heard those words from another living being, and hearing them from the one man who I truly want and desire is like a slice of pure Heaven. But I’m scared, more scared than I’ve ever been in my life. His words mean so much more to me than just an expression of his feelings for me. He’s showing me peace, gifting me with a piece of happiness; happiness which I’m not totally convinced I deserve yet.
I fall into a deep sleep dreaming of all the possibilities of a life together with Drayden. But lurking in the shadows is a suspicion of something heavy and foreboding to come.
I just have to make sure the shadows stay hidden, never to encroach and snuff out the light which is now shining brightly.
{ Chapter 32 }
The next morning is proving to be one of an odd exchange between the two of us. His words keep running over and over in my head, eliciting unknown emotions to come rushing to the surface. I’m both elated and confused.
I know he’s going to want to talk about it as soon as he sees fit. I didn’t say anything back to him, and that alone is making me nervous.
Do I love Drayden?
Of course I do.
With all my heart.
But I’m not quite ready to hand over the last piece of me, not yet. I have to make sure what he said to me is the truth, not just something which happened in the heat of the moment. He said he was afraid to say it before, but he’s never had difficulty expressing how he feels.
Trust me, I know.
We move past each other
in my kitchen as we’re both trying to pour ourselves a cup of some much-needed coffee. He’s only clothed in a pair of boxer briefs, and I’m not far off in the barely-there clothing attire this morning. I grabbed an oversized shirt from the back of my closet and threw it on in hopes it wouldn’t totally turn him off.
As I’m adding a splash of milk to my cup, he comes up behind me, sets his mug on the counter next to me and kisses my neck. “You know we’re going to talk about last night, don’t you?”
I make sure to swallow so the nervous saliva won’t choke me before I answer him. “About the mind-blowing sex?” I ask as I look at him over my shoulder. I try to give him a playful wink. “I can talk about that all day long if you want to.”
“Nice try, Essie, but as much as I would love to relive it, that’s not what I’m talking about.” I turn my head back around, breaking contact with his questioning eyes.
He isn’t going to let me get away with avoiding him that easy. He turns me completely around and hooks a finger under my chin, raising my head so I have no choice but to face him, right here and now. But instead of speaking, he grazes his lips over my own, teasing me with the slightest flick of his tongue. I want him so badly, I can’t hold back. I open my mouth, giving him permission to taste and enrapture me. He tastes so good, like the best sweetness there is, stealing all my inhibitions away with one swoop of his demand.
But as quickly as he distracts me, he gets my attention. He pulls back and stares at me, a flicker of annoyance passing over his lovely features.
“What? Why are you looking at me like that?” I ask before trying to get him to kiss me again. He isn’t budging. “Why did you stop, Drayden?”
“You know why.” He picks up his coffee, takes a couple steps back and rests his hip against the counter. He continues to stare at me as if I know exactly what he wants me to say. Well, I’m not starting this conversation off. If he wants to talk about what he said, then he’s going to have to speak first.
“Why don’t you elaborate for me?” I’m so damn stubborn. I can see it affects him, making his form take on more of a rigid stance. After a few long moments of silence, he blows out a rush of air before reaching over and grabbing my hand. He pulls me close to his body and tightens his hold around my waist once he gets me in the position he’s aiming for. I can’t move even if I want to. I’m torn once again. I don’t want to have this conversation until I’ve had a little bit more time to think about it, but I also don’t want to move. I love being this close to him, feasting on his physicality as well as being engulfed by his scent.
He’s intoxicating in every sense.
“I want to talk about what I said to you last night.” When I cock my eyebrow at him, playing dumb, he becomes even more irritated. I guess this isn’t the way I should be going about this, but my nerves are taking over and making me act stupid.
“I don’t really want to have this conversation right now, Drayden. Can’t it wait?”
He shakes his head as if I’ve struck him. His eyebrows knit together so tightly I think he’s going to give himself an instant headache. He parts his lips and what comes out floors me.
“Are you seriously blowing me off, Essie?” He’s starting to get really pissed off now. “I bared my heart to you last night, and you act as if it’s nothing. Well, it’s something to me, Goddamnit.” I avert my eyes again. “Look. At. Me,” he growls.
His fierce eyes capture me. I’m lost. There are so many things I want to tell him, but I’m scared. I’m holding on to my heart, the last piece which is truly mine. I’m not sure if I trust him completely enough not to shatter it into a million pieces.
“I don’t know what to say.” I really don’t.
“I know you love me, Essie. I can see it in your eyes every time you look at me. I felt it with every touch you gifted me with last night. What are you so afraid of?”
Where do I even start? I know he’s going to hold me captive until I give him what he’s looking for. So here goes.
“I’ve never been on the receiving end of those three wonderful words before. Ever,” I say, driving home my point with the fierce look in my eyes. “I’ve never been in a relationship before so I’m fumbling around, trying to figure it all out.” I don’t want to scare him so I continue with, “Not that this is a relationship or anything.”
Well, apparently that’s the wrong choice of words. In order for him to be successful at controlling his temper, he moves away from me and walks toward the living room. I hear him curse under his breath while he runs a continuous hand through his hair in utter frustration. When he turns back toward me, he looks hurt. “You don’t think we’re in a relationship? Because we most certainly are. You are mine, Essie. Only mine. I meant it months ago when I told you that you would never feel another man inside you. And I mean it now.” He’s pacing back and forth, wearing a hole in my carpet, but he never takes his eyes off me. He wants to make sure I’m paying attention to him. “I’ve claimed you, sweetheart. Now and forever. You belong only to me. Your mind, body and soul are mine.” When he sees me physically relax from his words, he moves in for the kill. Standing but a foot away from me now, he finishes his declaration. “Even when I thought I hated you, Essie, I loved you. You made me feel after being numb for so long, even when I didn’t want to. I fought against all of it, but I’m done fighting.”
He places his hands on either side of my face, drawing me closer to show me what his words mean. “I love you,” he says as he kisses me, soft and sweet. He never intensifies the connection, allowing me to absorb everything he has just laid at my feet.
“Drayden…” I start to say but am immediately cut off.
“I already know you love me, but I don’t need you to say the words until you’re ready to. But know this: you belong to me and me alone. Don’t ever forget it.”
Then just like that, he starts making his way back toward my bedroom to gather his clothing which is undoubtedly still lying in a heap on my bedroom floor. But before he’s completely out of sight, he turns his head and says, “Oh, and don’t think I forgot you didn’t answer my questions about your past. I told you what you wanted to know and when I ask you again, you will answer me. And truthfully. Do you understand?”
He’s right. He told me what I wanted to know. It’s only fair.
I simply nod before he turns back and disappears around the corner.
~~~~
He insists on taking me to work, mainly so he’ll have the perfect excuse to pick me up. He wants to talk, and there is no way for me to get out of it. Yes, I owe him some information because he’s told me what I wanted to know about Elizabeth. But no, I most certainly don’t want to have this conversation with him.
Now or ever.
After a very busy day at the store, I’m more than happy to be heading home. The bakery has really picked up business recently, sometimes causing both Dela and I to stay after hours to prepare for the next day. She’s expressed to me on numerous occasions what an asset I am to the store. I return the gratitude with my sincere thanks for being given the opportunity to prove myself.
We’re becoming fast and good friends.
As I’m making my way outside, I’m suddenly struck with a very uneasy feeling. There is just something off, something I can’t put my finger on, but it’s really freaking me out. My eyes scan my immediate surroundings, but I don’t see anything out of the ordinary. There are people milling about, men and women making their way in and out of stores, families strolling down the sidewalks at a leisurely pace. But out of everyone, there is one man who draws my attention more than the others. There is something so familiar about him. Familiar and terrifying. But I don’t even get a chance to contemplate whether or not my fear is valid because he disappears around the corner as soon as he knows I’ve seen him. And the more I think about it, the more I’m convinced I’ve seen that man before. I know him.
I’m lost in my own slight paranoia when I feel someone grip my shoulder. I shriek and whip around s
o fast I’m instantly dizzy.
“Jesus, Essie! What the hell?” Drayden asks as he reaches out to steady me. My breath instantly calms and I’ve never been so grateful to be staring back into those gorgeous blue eyes of his. He looks genuinely concerned about me, and well he should. I haven’t given in to bouts of paranoia like this in a very long time.
Fuck, I thought I was well past all this shit.
He’s still looking at me, waiting for an answer. “Sorry, you just scared me.” It’s the only thing I can think of to say. I’m hoping he’s going to buy it.
“Well, you’re okay now, right? I don’t want to spend my evening with a skittish woman,” he says while smiling, letting me know he’s just teasing me. Thankfully, he doesn’t push any further.
“I’m fine. Really.” He takes my hand and starts walking toward his car. He’s silent but the sexual tension vibrating off him is palpable. As I walk, I try to squeeze my legs together to dispel my arousal, but he’s walking too fast for me. I want to wait until we’re at least in private to act on anything passing back and forth between us.
Every time I’m near this man, my body seems to have the final say. I’ll do anything he wants, and he knows it. He has complete power over me and that’s a very scary thing.
A very scary but intoxicating thing.
Right when he’s about to open the passenger door for me, he turns me around and pushes me against his car. Dipping his head lower to meet my lips, he whispers, “I love I’m the one who puts that sexy look on your face. And I love I’m the one who’s going to fulfill every one of your body’s demands.” He kisses me hard, unable to control his lust. Tangling his fingers in my hair, he pushes his body closer to mine, allowing me to feel his hardness before he retreats. He reaches around me and tries to open the door but I don’t budge; I’m too caught up in my sex-crazed haze. When I still don’t move, he laughs and says, “If you want me to make you scream, Essie, you’ll get in the damn car.”
