Shadows

by Amber Lacie

  "Gram! Don't you have the gardener coming today? You should probably go check on him."

  "Theron, don’t tell me what to do." She rolls her eyes and gives me a wink. "He thinks he knows everything, but he doesn't. He needs more excitement in his life. Anyways, will you be a constant feature around here?"

  "Um, I don't know. I guess that would up to Theron. I have a lot going on right now, so I'm just kind of taking it a day at a time." I start chewing on the inside of my cheek. I need to text Kayla and see what time and where we are meeting Michael. I need to make sure I lay out my black dress pants and press them. I should probably text my family and let them know I'm okay. I know they will be worried. Taking my coffee with me, I walk out of the kitchen to Theron's room. I sit on his bed and start on my text message to Kayla. As I hit send, I notice my phone is being taken out of my hand. I look up and my eyes lock with his.

  "Hey, you okay? My gram was talking to you and you walked away. Did she upset you?"

  "What? She asked me if I was going to be a constant feature and I told her that would be up to you. Then I started thinking about what I have to do today. I need to text Kayla and my family. I need to make sure my clothes are ready. After we see Matt's dad, I will have to text everyone else. Can I group text that? I don't want to be rude, but I don't know how many times I want to explain everything. Will they expect me to call? I don't want to call, I just want to text them. I can't explain all of this. I don’t want to. Is Kayla going to get a hold of people? Should we make a list and split it? Oh, do I even have black socks to wear with my black flats? I just—" Theron cuts me off with a soft kiss to my lips. I want to cry, but I can't. I believe I'm officially out of tears.

  "Babe, breathe. We were both trying to talk to you and get your attention, but I believe you zoned out on us. Let's take this one step at a time. Text Kayla to see when you guys are supposed to meet. Then, text your family and let them know I'm not some crazed axe murderer."

  "Axe murderer? I would have pegged you more as a chainsaw kind of guy." I can’t help the grin coming across my face. He calms me and that's exactly what I need right now.

  "Nah, I sold my chainsaw years ago. I like the axe better, more muscle toning for the arms and upper back."

  "It seems you've put a lot of thought into this."

  "I have." He starts kissing me again, but I know I should get these messages out of the way.

  I break the kiss and hold out my hand. "Phone, please." He hands me my phone and I text my family. I hit send and my phone chirps back at me. It's Kayla. We are meeting at three o'clock at Emmerson's funeral home. I let her know I'll be there. She asks if Theron will be joining. I respond back telling her it will just be me. I know she needs me right now, and I need to stop being so selfish. I am not the only one who has lost someone. I can hear Theron in the shower. I guess I should start getting dressed for the day. I decide to go with dark jeans and a purple sweater. I'm not really sure of the dress code for funeral homes. I peek into the kitchen and his gram is nowhere to be seen. Turning around, I head back to his room because, a shower with Theron sounds like the best way to start a day.

  I lay my clothes next to his on the sink. He hasn't noticed me come in yet. His bathroom is identical to the other one. He's standing in the large shower with water spraying him from the sides of the wall and from the ceiling. How did he do that? I need to know the secrets to these showers. I undress, kicking my clothes to the side. I lean against the sink and I just take him in. I need to thank whoever thought of using clear glass shower doors. They are lovely. Opening the door, I slide in behind him. I go to put my hands around his waist and he spins towards me catching me off guard. I yelp and he laughs.

  "I heard the door click, but I wasn't sure if you were going to join me or not. I'm very happy with your decision."

  "I was hoping to surprise you."

  "Oh, I'm surprised."

  Pulling me under the water with him he kisses me, our lips mashing together. It's not slow or sweet. This a mad, steamy, erotic mashing of our tongues and lips. My hands are gripping his hair pulling him to me. His hand slides down between us. Pleasure surges through my body as his fingers circle my clit, igniting every nerve ending in my body. He captures my moan with his mouth. I wrap my leg around him, grinding my hips into him as he pushes me back against the wall. I want more, no, I need more.

  "Eve, this is going to be quick. Wrap your other leg around me. Keep your arms around my neck and hold tight." I do exactly what he says without hesitation. He's holding me up against the shower wall. I can feel the tip of his cock rubbing against my swollen clit. Licking his lips, he slams hard into me pinning me against the wall. His grip on my hips is almost painful, and it only excites me more. His forehead is resting against mine. Pulling back, he slams into me again. I moan. This is hard and rough. I can already feel the familiar warmth spreading through my body. He thrusts into me again and I clench my walls around him.

  "Fuck. Babe, you'll make me come. Let me take care of you first." Pulling out he rocks back into my pussy and I clench around him again. His cock feels so hard inside me. It's hitting everywhere I need it to. He begins a punishing rhythm. I squeeze my thighs around him. We are both breathing hard and he captures my lips again. I moan into his mouth and he bites my bottom lip. He slides his hands down to cup my ass as his fingers dig into me tightening their grip.

  "Oh, yes! Please, Theron please!"

  "You want to come, baby? Are you begging?"

  "Yes, please, I need to come."

  "Then come!" He slams forcefully into me. He's absolutely relentless. My walls clench, tightening around him. He leans his head down pulling my nipple into his mouth. With a flick of his tongue and a soft nip of his teeth, he has me coming undone.

  "Theron!" My pussy spasms around him. My thighs are digging into his hips and my hands are clasped tight around his neck. This is so intense. My body has nowhere to go as he continues his fierce rhythm slamming into me. I drop my head and sink my teeth into his shoulder.

  "Ahh, Eve!" He thrusts into me and I can feel his release. He buries his head in my neck. I whimper as he pulls out of me placing his hands on the wall behind me. I lower my feet back to the floor. We stand there under the hot water streaming down on us unable to move. Kissing my neck, he straightens his body. "Babe, that wasn't my intention when I got in the shower."

  "No, but it was mine." Leaning up on my toes, I softly kiss him. "The water is getting cold, babe."

  He reaches over and turns off the water. When he opens the shower door the steam and warmth escape. Grabbing a towel off the warmer, he wraps it around his waist. He holds the other one open and wraps me up as I step into it. He dries me off and attempts to towel dry my hair. It's way too long for that, but I think its sweet he's trying to take care of me so I don't stop him. Once he's satisfied he dries himself off. I start to get dressed and he stops me. He grabs my hand and I follow him out of the bathroom in just my panties.

  "I think I could get used to that."

  "What, me joining you in the shower?"

  "Well, yes, I could get used to that, but that's not what I meant."

  "Oh?"

  "You called me babe." Oh, that. I could get used to calling him that too. He pulls me towards the bed and we both fall on it. He wraps me in his arms. "What time do you have to leave?"

  "I'm supposed to meet them at Emmerson's funeral home. She said three o'clock, so I should probably leave here about two fifteen or so. I don't want to be late. What time is it now?"

  "It's almost noon. I didn't want to wake you. Would you like me to come with you?"

  "No, I'll be fine. I think Kayla really needs me right now. I think it would be best if I showed up sans my handsome follower."

  "Follower? What am I some kind of Eve groupie? Surely, I could have a better title than that." He kisses the top of my head and I sigh.

  "What kind of title do you want?" Taking a lock of my hair he winds it around his finger. He's quiet and it ma
kes me nervous. What does he think of me as? Are we just friends with benefits?

  "I was hoping for handsome boyfriend, but we can leave the handsome part out if you want." I blush and suddenly I'm glad my back is to his front. Boyfriend? I wonder if it's too soon for that. We've just met.

  "Do you think we are rushing things?"

  Letting out a deep breath, he drops the piece of hair he was playing with. "I thought we were on the same page. I told you there was no going back. I am keeping you. What's bothering you about the term boyfriend?"

  "I'm not saying I'm bothered. I just don't want you to feel rushed. I don't want to force you into anything."

  "Who gets to say what's rushed? I go with what feels right and this feels right to me.” I hold onto his hands wrapped around my waist. I'm so afraid he will let go.

  "Are you sure, Theron? I'm a mess right now. I've just lost one of my best friends. I keep freaking out on you. My emotions are all over the place. My face is swollen and raw from crying so much. I'm not sure you are prepared for the mess that is Evelyn Davidson. I'm not sure how to calm myself down. Normally Ben & Jerry's does it for me, but not this time. I feel so frantic, but then you touch me and I instantly calm. I feel like I can't breathe without you right now. Are you ready for all of this?" I lay everything I have on the table. I hope I'm not risking it all.

  "Beautiful, I'll be whatever you want me to be. I want to be your boyfriend, but I'll follow you if you want me to. I want to protect you. I want to help you get through this. It's up to you, babe.” He starts twirling my hair again. I decide to go with what feels right.

  "Okay."

  "Okay? Is that a yes?" Biting my bottom lip, I nod my head. I must have said what he wanted to hear. The next thing I know is I'm on my back and he is spread out on top of me. He kisses my forehead. I breathe in his highly addicting scent. He sits back and doesn't say anything, but he gives me a huge Cheshire cat grin. What is going through that head of his?

  "Come on, beautiful. I have two hours with you and we need to spend them wisely. First, the coffee and then the kissing." He pulls me with him as he hops off the bed. I'm laughing, his happiness is incredibly contagious. I realize I feel happy, and it catches me off guard. I finish getting dressed and decide to pull my hair back into a braid. I don't feel like taking the time to dry it today. I want to get back to Theron. The thought of Matt and what his family must be going through right now drifts into my mind, taking it down a sad road as I get ready.

  I walk out into the kitchen and take a seat at the island. Theron has a cup of coffee waiting for me. I take a sip and it's exactly how I like it. I notice him standing next to the window by the fireplace. He's so perfectly still. I assume he's lost in thought. I decide that neither of us should be alone and I really want to feel his skin again. I wrap my arms around him from behind, gently brushing my hands under his shirt so I can feel his hot skin. He drops his head and I wonder if maybe he's having second thoughts. I start to pull my hands away and he grabs my wrists.

  "Don't"

  "Don't what, babe?"

  "Don't let go. I was enjoying you."

  "Oh. I only thought…well you dropped your head so I thought…never mind." I hold tight on to him absorbing the warmth of his skin under my fingers. He runs his hands over my arms.

  "Thought what?"

  "I just thought maybe you were having second thoughts already. You dropped your head. I thought I had made you sad." His hands still over mine and I hear him take a deep breath. He lets go of my hands and my arms drop to my side.

  "Not at all. I know you are going to have a rough couple of days ahead of you. I just wish I could be there for you. I could sit in a corner and be really quiet. I promise I won't get in the way. I'm so afraid you'll break and I want to be there if you do."

  Now, I understand the problem. However sweet his offer may sound, I know I can't take him up on it. Kayla needs me. She's my best friend, my only one I have left now. I can't shove Theron in her face again. She doesn't understand my need for him and I don't want to push her away. I sit on the couch and pat the cushion beside me. Theron looks at me and I can tell he knows what I want to say. He sits and runs his hands through his hair. The one lock betrays him and I smile reaching up to wind it around my finger before I push it back.

  "Kayla needs me there with her today. To be honest, I need her. We've always been there for each other. Matt is, was our best friend. It was just us three for the past six years. I need to do this alone. I need to do this for Kayla and Matt." Tears fall from my eyes with the mention of his name. I wipe them away with my sleeve. I hope I didn't offend him, but I know I am right about this.

  "Beautiful, I'm sorry. I don't mean to upset you. I didn’t have anyone when my mom passed and I remember the feeling of not wanting to be alone. I just want to make this easier for you. "

  "I get it. I really do, but Kayla doesn't understand my draw to you. We've only just met and she won't understand my need to have you there. I've been on dates before, but besides my boyfriend in high school I've really never been in a relationship. Suddenly, I’m with you. I've always wanted fireworks, but I can't explain that to her. She won't understand because, she can't feel what I do."

  "I'm your fireworks, beautiful?" He lifts my chin, looking deep into my eyes. He has that lopsided grin on his face, which I find incredibly sexy.

  "Is that okay?"

  He places a soft kiss on my lips and another on the tip of my nose. "It's more than okay, Eve." He looks at me like he wants to say something more, but he just shakes his head. Pulling me into his lap, we spend the next hour kissing.

  I'm lying on the couch with Theron and I see him check the time on his watch. "Eve, it's almost time for you to get ready to go. Would you like a snack or a sandwich before you leave? I was a little sidetracked this afternoon and forgot about lunch." I shake my head at him. The thought of having to meet Kayla at the funeral home has my stomach in knots. "At least eat a banana or something. You're going to start to waste away if you don't. Eat something for me, please?" Standing up, I roll my eyes at him. "A banana, Eve, that's all I'm asking.

  "Fine, I’ll grab a banana. Theron?"

  "Yes, beautiful,"

  "Thank you for the shower." Giving me a wicked grin, he proceeds to smack me on my ass as I walk past him. "Ouch! What was that for?"

  "Because I wanted to. I like your ass. Are you going to hold it against me?"

  "No"

  "Really? Because I wish you would." I let out a little laugh as I roll my eyes at him. Grabbing a banana, I head to the bedroom to collect my purse and shoes.

  I'm standing in front of the mirror tucking a couple stray hairs back into my braid. I guess I look okay. The redness has faded some, but I have dark circles under my eyes. I take a couple deep breaths in through my nose and out through my mouth. I can do this. Slipping on my flats, I grab my purse and head into the kitchen.

  Theron is sitting at the island. "You ready?"

  "I guess so."

  He takes my hand, softly placing a kiss on back of it, and I follow him to the car.

  I hate funeral homes. The flowers arrangements and plants do nothing soften the pain of losing a loved one. If anything they are just a reminder that all things die because, even they will wilt and die eventually. I walk into the door marked office. Kayla and Michael are already sitting in dark brown leather chairs in front of a big oak desk. Taking my seat next to Michael, I grab his hand. I can't imagine the pain he must be feeling. The man across from us introduces himself, but I don't hear his name. I'm too focused on the people beside me.

  The meeting only lasts an hour. Everything is planned according to Michael's wishes. Matt's obituary will run in tomorrow’s paper. Michael has already got in touch with his family and Matt's brother has posted a copy online. Thanks to social media, I will only need to let my parents and Anne know the details. I give Michael a hug and let him know if he needs anything to call me. Kayla is already outside sitting on bench near the fr
ont doors. She looks exhausted and I feel the same.

  "Kayla, how are you doing with all of this?" Taking a seat next to her, I squeeze her hand.

  "I don't know. It's just so unreal, you know?"

  "I know." I lay my head on her shoulder. It's going to be so strange not having Matt around. I take a deep breath. "So, Michael asked me to talk to you about the apartment."

  "I don't want to live there anymore, Eve. I'm sorry, but I can't"

  "I figured as much. I feel the same way. Michael said he took care of April's rent for us. He let the landlord know the situation and he was very understanding. We have until April fifteenth to move our stuff out. Michael is going to pack up Matt's stuff next week." I sniffle and Kayla puts her arm around me.

  "Your mom swears this will get easier. She asked me to stay with her, but I told her Paul offered the same."

  "Are you moving in with him, then?"

  "I guess so. I mean we have been dating for close to a year now. It seems like the right choice."

  "But do you want to? Is this what you want, Kayla?" She rubs my shoulder. We sit in silence for a few moments. "I really want to. I love him." She kisses the side of my head. I'm happy for her. "What about you?"

  "I don't know. I haven't really thought about it. I know I don't want to go back to the apartment. Robert is in town for a couple weeks. I might just ask him and my dad to pack my things. I guess I could stay with my parents for a little while until I find something."

  "I'm sure they won't mind. So…how's the new boyfriend?"

  "Good. I just wish we would have met under better circumstances."

  "Well, didn't you technically meet at the laundromat?"

  "Yes, I suppose technically that's what happened."

  "Then you did, but some really shitty stuff happened afterwards."

  I roll my eyes at her. She has such a way with words. "So, where is Paul today?"

  "He's rearranging his schedule at the office. He's taking the next week off for me to help me pack. Where's Theron? I was certain he was going to show up looking for you. He seems very intense around you."