Surrender Your Dreams

by Blaine Lee Pardoe

"My God . . . ," he spoke in a low whisper, meaning it with all his heart. For the first time in months he felt a charge of excitement. "Has it really come to this?"

  * * *

  He stepped out onto the terrace, and Sasha looked up at him with understandable surprise. Damien said nothing for a second and just let her look at him. With the reflex action of every military man, he tugged at the uniform coat. It was much snugger than he remembered it; that, or he had put on weight.

  "You didn't come to bed last night," she said coyly. "I assumed you had finally started writing your memoirs. Now you show up wearing that uniform. Is there something that you want to tell me?"

  He wore the gray dress uniform coat of a paladin. He had not worn it since Devlin Stone had asked him to be The Republic's second exarch, and he had chosen to wear it today for a purpose. I may no longer be the exarch, but I am always a paladin. He pulled out the chair next to her and took her right hand in both of his as he sat down. Redburn had held her hands the same way when he proposed to her. He said nothing for a moment. Sasha Redburn broke the silence.

  "I know that look," she said, her voice deepening with emotion. "It's the same one you give me every time you are leaving."

  He wanted to tell her she was wrong, but couldn't.

  Lying to Sasha was not something he had ever done. "I received a message last night. I have to go to Geneve to meet with the exarch about it."

  "You don't wear that expression for a simple trip to Geneve . . . ," she said cautiously. "Not to mention you've dug out your paladin uniform. There is more to this than a trip to Geneve."

  "Only Geneve ... for today."

  "This is not some plant tour or classroom visit. 1 can tell."

  He gave her a small smile. "You're right, my love," he said. "You always are."

  "I thought that time was behind us. You've done your bit for king and country, Damien. This was supposed to be our time together."

  She knew that with him The Republic always came first. It always had. He thought he was looking forward to spending time with her and the kids. Things had changed more than he expected when he stopped being exarch, and not in a good way. He was no longer the ruler of a star-spanning empire. It was as if he didn't exist.

  Until the message last night.

  "I was a knight and then a paladin before I was exarch, and that's a lifetime commitment. You knew that when we married. I thought my service was done as well, but apparently it isn't. The message I received last night changed things. I have to go."

  "Who called? Was it Jonah? Is it some sort of meeting?"

  He squeezed her hands tighter in response. "Not Jonah, dear. I heard from a former exarch. There are duties that I am expected to attend to. I will be back when I have to leave Terra. I won't go without seeing you and the children again." He rose to his feet but kept hold of her hands, drawing her up to stand in front of him. The morning light on the terrace picked out the details of his uniform, and the years seemed to fall away from the former exarch. He took a deep breath and stood tall. Yes, the uniform is tighter than before, but I feel lighter than I have in years.

  Damien Redburn gathered his wife into his arms for a kiss and a hug. Both lasted a moment or two longer than usual.

  * * *

  Heloise Montgolfier stood in the large executive office of the exarch, her arms behind her back as if she were at parade rest. She was Jonah Levin's chief of staff, which made her the number-two most powerful person in The Republic when they were in a crisis. The concept of crisis had changed dramatically as of late. The Republic was in a constant state of crisis.

  "He says it's imperative that he meet with you."

  Levin waved his hand dismissively. "We have too much going at the moment. See if you can schedule something in a week or so."

  "He was very insistent, sir. And he told me to mention the word 'fortress.' " She stared solemnly at a point just above her superior's right shoulder.

  For Jonah Levin, the man who had assumed the mantle of the exarch from Damien Redburn, that word killed every other noise in the room. His face went hot and cold. "Clear my schedule and show him in."

  Redburn entered the room wearing a paladin's uniform. He nodded as Montgolfier left the office, closing the door behind her. Exarch Levin met him in the middle of the crest of The Republic set into the carpeted floor and shook his hand, as if they were posing for a media photo-op. Redburn wanted to laugh, but somehow couldn't muster it.

  The current exarch gestured to a guest chair across from his desk and retreated to his own comfortable seat.

  "It's good to see you, Damien, but I must admit that I'm quite busy right now—as I'm sure you're aware." It was dramatic understatement on his part. The struggle taking place in Europe between Levin and the rogue senators was being highly publicized.

  "I was contacted by Devlin Stone last night."

  Exarch Levin stared for a second at his predecessor and then pinched the bridge of his nose as if trying to relieve the pressure of a headache. "Damn it, Damien, that's not funny."

  Redburn's expression didn't change. "I wish I were kidding," he said. "Apparently, some of his files outlining his contingency plans for The Republic were flagged with triggers that were set up to send me a prerecorded message—from Stone. The message contained details for operations outside FortressRepublic . . . and a reminder that the rank of paladin stayed with a man for life."

  "You're not kidding?"

  Redburn shook his head. "I was more surprised than you."

  "You know about the Fortress plans, then?"

  "Yes." He nodded. "When the HPG went down on my watch, I skimmed those plans along with several other versions. The fact that I received this message indicates that you were not just skimming those files, but actually reviewing them in some detail."

  Levin's initial reaction was concern. His people had not spotted any flag on those files. Who else received a message from Stone last night? Had the Fortress plans been totally compromised? No. He pushed those thoughts to the dark places of his mind. Best to focus on what I know rather than what might be.

  While Levin thought, Redburn slid a data cube into the player and played the entire transcript of the message he had received. It did little to alleviate his feeling of dread. What other little presents have you left out there, Devlin?

  Levin sighed, and Redburn knew the crushing weight of what his successor was contemplating. Levin shook his head slightly as he responded. "If you've read those plans, then you realize the scale of what we're doing. This is a massive strategic withdrawal and entrenching. We pull back to the core worlds of Prefecture X and make it impossible to enter the Fortress while we build our strength for a time when we can emerge and recover The Republic. This is the biggest event in the Inner Sphere since Kerensky's Exodus or the Jihad."

  "How can you isolate Prefecture X?"

  "You don't want to know. Suffice it to say I have to dust off some technologies whose use is questionable at best, things that Stone had sitting by just for such a contingency. Technologies that our former enemies contemplated using. It's like learning to juggle using weapons of mass destruction."

  "Devlin must have understood what you'd be facing. You saw the message. He specifically outlined a number of operations outside of the Fortress that I'm sure you're already trying to figure out how to coordinate. You'll need resources on the outside that can manage the knights and the paladins. Someone to follow through on these operations so that when you do finally emerge, the groundwork is laid for the reestablishment of The Republic."

  "Let's not downplay what Stone is recommending," Levin said in a sour tone. "These missions are not like anything we've performed as a government up to this point. We're talking about destabilizing neighboring planets, sabotage, assassinations and even starting wars." As the current exarch spoke, the words obviously weighed heavily on him.

  "It makes you wonder," Redburn said.

  "About?"

  "Maybe Stone was wrong."

&nbs
p; After a moment of contemplation, Levin swept the air with his hand, as if to erase Redburn's words. "I can't go there with my thinking. If I start questioning Stone's wisdom now, I might as well step aside and let the Senate run things."

  Redburn let that statement stand for a moment. "What's most important is that we both understand the depth of what we are discussing. Our actions will violate principles that both of us have pledged to protect."

  "These actions ensure our ultimate survival . . . the survival of The Republic."

  "That's what makes it so hard" was all that Redburn replied. He took a deep breath, then let it out slowly. "I can coordinate the exterior missions. They can be my burden to bear."

  Levin stared at him. "You're volunteering?"

  Redburn nodded slowly, closing his eyes. "If you go by the message I received last night, I have little choice. The fate of The Republic depends on Fortress being successful. Besides, Jonah, you know better than anyone the burden that this office and the title "exarch" imposes. I was in charge when the network crashed. I was the leader that fiddled while Rome burned ... if you believe the media accounts. This is a way to prove to everyone who I really am. Frankly, it's my last chance, Jonah."

  Levin did understand. He knew that Damien had struggled to play the cards he had been dealt to best advantage, but that others just saw him as weak and ineffective. Jonah knew differently; he knew Redburn was honorable, that with him The Republic always came first. "I'm tempted to accept your help, Damien. If you've read the plans for FortressRepublic, you know the challenges. You'll be cut off from your family and friends, any hope of military support, even communications with Terra. The people I am sending outside of Fortress are going to face the hardest of times. Even Stone's notes say that."

  Redburn smiled. "I know. I wouldn't have come if I didn't know and accept the risks." He ran his hand across the surface of the desk. Jonah wondered if he might be contemplating how long it had been since he had sat on that side of it. "But, my old friend, you have assets available that you are unaware of." Levin thought, irrationally, that there was a twinkle in Redburn's eye as he said this.

  "What do you mean?"

  "You have heard of the Fidelis warriors?"

  "Stone's Shadows? They were a small elite-forces unit during the Jihad. Stone always denied they existed, but there were witnesses to their ferocity. Strange troops. I recall one story where they lost three of their men and they stopped to burn their bodies before moving on against the Blake forces. I assumed they were just one of dozens of disbanded forces or were propaganda, or even myth. So many units were tossed together during that time I never gave them much thought. Are you saying they actually exist?"

  "They are real. I know how to contact them. But you cannot. If you, as the standing exarch, were linked to them, it would irrevocably damage the Republic's relationship with multiple governments, including and perhaps especially the Clans. You have a higher calling to answer if you are going to implement FortressRepublic. If I contact them on behalf of The Republic and we're discovered, you are safe to disavow all knowledge of them. In short, old friend, I'll keep your hands clean."

  Levin wanted to probe for more information. He had had far too many surprises since he had become exarch. He had to trust Redburn, and so he had to let this go. He skipped to the practicalities. "They'll need hardware, transport and other materiel. Things The Republic happens to be a little short on at the moment."

  Damien actually laughed. Jonah couldn't remember the last time he had seen his predecessor even crack a genuine smile. "Actually, they don't. They have their own production capability. In fact, they have a WarShip at their disposal—mothballed since the Jihad, of course."

  A covert army? A WarShip? "How big of a force are we talking about?" His mind reeled at the possibilities, and he cursed himself for not forcing Damien to spend more time transitioning the job to him. He wondered just how many other secrets Redburn hadn't revealed, and why.

  "They are few in number, by choice. Their skills are more suited for special operations—black ops, really.

  Given the path we have set ourselves upon with FortressRepublic, I wonder if Stone didn't set them up for us to use in this capacity."

  Jonah leaned back in his chair and carefully placed his fingertips together to form a temple. "I have to tell you, Damien, this is the first thing in a long time that has gone right for us. I'm strapped for troops and equipment. You walk in here and hand me just what I need when I need it. You've sat in this chair. You have to admit, it's a little suspicious."

  Redburn leaned back in the guest chair and seemed suddenly weary. " 'Pessimistic' is the word I would have used. It's as if Stone knew all along that peace would fail. If I were in your shoes, I'd hesitate to accept this offer. Trust is hard to come by these days. But I'm the one paladin you haven't used. And Stone must have known that the Fidelis would be needed if an exarch initiated the Fortress plans."

  It always comes back to Stone.

  Redburn continued. "One never retires from service to The Republic. It seems like I spent my whole life serving The Republic. Since leaving your seat I've been bored—something I've never been before in my life. I feel forgotten, discarded. This opportunity changes all of that. I can do more. I can do this for you, for The Republic." He hesitated, as if he wanted to say more but couldn't. In the yellow light of the office. Levin leaned forward.

  "There's more. . . ."

  Redburn nodded and breathed out a small but audible sigh. "I feel responsibility for what has happened to The Republic. If I can perform this service, I'll feel as if I've set my soul back on the right path, put to rest some of my own demons. To be blunt, Jonah, I'm the best person for this. The Fidelis warriors are quite . . . unique. If their true background was known, it could cause you more problems than they will solve. That's why Stone kept them secret, and why I didn't tell you about them when I could have. My handling them insulates you as exarch. In short, I give you two words: plausible denia- bility. What more can be done to my reputation?"

  Levin was being eaten alive by curiosity to know the background of the Fidelis, but realized that there was a potentially high price in knowing the answer. What the former exarch was offering was to take the fall if something went wrong. That would have to suffice for now. "You're asking a lot of me, old friend."

  "I prefer to think I'm offering you a great deal more. Coordinating activities outside of Fortress is going to take someone dedicated, someone who has experience. You and I both know that I'm suited for just these kinds of operations."

  "What about Sasha? What about your children? You know that once you're outside the Fortress you can't return."

  Redburn looked somber. "Sasha knows me. She knows where my priorities lie. She even understands." His words resonated with Levin. This was a man who was sacrificing seeing his family, potentially forever. Stone was smart to choose him.

  Levin rose to his feet, pushing himself up with his hands flat on the desk. For a moment he leaned across the desk toward his predecessor, scrutinizing his face. He's aged. There's a hint of gray in the sideburns, a few wrinkles that I didn 't notice when he came in. Is this what being a former exarch does to you? I only hope I hold up as well.

  Reaching out he shook the hand of the man across the desk. "Very well, Paladin Redburn. Welcome back into the game. I'll have Heloi'se come in and we can review some of our thoughts for what will happen outside FortressRepublic, and she'll bring you up to speed on current events and plans. In the meantime, I will draft orders for you to assemble a group of knights and ghost knights for your operations."

  Redburn grinned broadly, and once again the years seemed to fall from his face. "Thank you, Jonah."

  "Damien, I think it's me who should be thanking you."

  Interpretation of Duty 3

  Brandenburg, Callison

  Former Prefecture VIII

  Fortress Republic (+12 days)

  “Are you sure?" the governor asked.

  "Pos
itive. I have quarantined the DropShip and crew and have ensured that there has been no outgoing communication traffic. My interview with the executive officers was conclusive. They are carrying a copy of the transmission that Exarch Levin sent out from the so-called Fortress." The moderately sized office of the governor of Callison seemed to get much smaller as Cheryl spoke.

  She knew this was what the governor had been waiting for: formal word as to the fate of The Republic. She had used her inside information to plant the seeds suggesting this would happen. Now Governor Allison Stewart would believe Cheryl Gunson possessed a keen sense of perspective.

  She handed over the hard copy of the message that Levin had sent out. The paper cut her index finger as the governor pulled it from her. She winced and pulled a tissue from her pocket to catch the blood. She almost laughed. She was a ghost knight, a highly trained special operative, and she was wincing over a paper cut. It appears that first blood has been drawn, and it's mine.

  Governor Stewart pored over the message as if it were a religious document. "Oh-ho," she muttered to herself. "This is just what I needed."

  "Governor?"

  "You've read this—you know what the exarch said."

  "Yes." She knew that Levin would send a message to the rest of the Inner Sphere, and she had been anxious to see how he would cast the decision he had made. The JumpShip Star Phoenix had brought it into the Callison system, and she had ensured that the message was intercepted before it reached the public. In her opinion, it was a good message. Ceresco had met the current exarch when he was still a paladin. As she read the message, she imagined that she could hear him saying the words. They were good words, too. Pity those words, the truth, be the first victims here on Callison.

  The governor quoted a passage with a mocking tone in her voice. "So formal, so over-the-top. This is what one expects from a paladin nowadays. 'That bright fire . . . shall never be extinguished.' Who is he kidding? Levin is crawling inside the Alamo, hoping that the Combine or the Confederation doesn't finish what they've started."