Somewhere In Between (Madison Square Book 1)

by Samatha Harris

  “Look, Alex. This is my fault,” David said, turning to face me in his chair. “I cornered him and he panicked. He didn’t mean it. He was just…”

  “Just what, David?” I could feel myself getting angry again. “Himself? He used me.”

  My voice was getting louder. My lips flattened into a thin line as I tried to rein in my anger.

  “This is between the two of you and I can’t speak for him. All I can do is tell you what I have observed.” David took a breath. “You belong together. We’ve all known it for years. We were just waiting for you two to figure it out for yourselves. He has been a wreck, Alex. Before you throw away everything you two have, please just talk to him.”

  Tears were falling from my eyes. I knew he was right and, in that moment, I hated him for it.

  Drew came around the corner and stepped up to David. “Hey, they’re moving him into a private room. Once they move him, we’ll all be able to go back and sit with him.” Drew put his hand on David’s shoulder. “Why don’t you go home, get some rest, and check on Millie? Red and I will stay.”

  David looked at me raising his eyebrows as if to ask if I was okay with that. I nodded in response. We swore we would call if anything happened and, with a promise to be back in a few hours, David headed home.

  We waited quietly until the nurse came out to give us Papa Jack’s room number.

  When we got to the room, Papa Jack was asleep. Wires were sticking out from his chest and a tube was stuck under his nose. He looked so pale and small. I didn’t think he could ever look small.

  I took a seat next to the bed and took his hand as Drew took a seat on his other side. We sat in silence for a long time, just waiting for Papa jack to open his eyes so we knew he would be okay.

  It was early morning and sitting up in the waiting room all night was taking its toll on me. I yawned and stretched my back, trying to trigger a second wind.

  “I’m glad you’re here,” Drew said, finally breaking the silence.

  “Of course I am.” I reached to take Papa Jack’s hand. “He’s family.”

  “I know, but it means a lot.” Drew reached across the bed to take my hand, but I pulled away quickly.

  “Drew, don’t.” He looked so hurt, but I steeled myself. He may have been hurt I pulled away, but I had been devastated for weeks.

  “Red, please.”

  “We aren’t doing this, Drew. I’m here because Jack is hurt. This doesn’t mean I forgive you or want to talk about it.” I got to my feet. “If you can’t handle that, then I’ll leave.” I headed for the door.

  “Red! Please, don’t walk out on me.”

  I whirled on him. “Don’t walk out on you. Why? Why do you care? I was only a matter of convenience to you anyway.”

  “That’s not fair, Red.”

  “What’s not fair is you making me believe that you felt something for me. What’s not fair is telling me all that bullshit about me being the one you wanted when I was just another notch on your headboard. What do you want me to say, Drew? Thanks for the sex; I’ll see you at trivia.” I was so far past angry. My entire body was tense, the muscles straining so hard it hurt. “You knew how I felt about you. I was prepared to be rejected. I expected it, but I was stupid enough to believe that you actually cared about me as a friend. I had you pegged from day one, but I convinced myself that deep down you were a good guy. I was wrong. You are still the same womanizing asshole I met at that stupid party.”

  “Are you done?” he asked, his jaw tense.

  “Absolutely,” I said, reaching for the door knob.

  Drew took a hold of my elbow and turned me to face him. “First of all, you’re right. I was that guy when we met, but I need to make one thing absolutely clear. Nothing that I have ever told you was a lie. I do feel something for you. I’ve had feelings for you for a long time and yes, I have not had a single serious relationship since we met because no one comes fucking close to you.” He dropped my elbow and took a breath. “Alex, that night you told me you loved me, I couldn’t believe it. Then, before I could even say a word, you started in on your plan to get past it, to get over your feelings for me and how you didn’t want to love me. I have tried so many times over the years to tell you how I feel and you have either stopped me or we have been interrupted. So, eventually, I just stopped trying. I figured when you were ready you would come to me, but even when you did, I still didn’t get the chance to tell you what I want.”

  I crossed my arms across my chest. “Fine. What do you want, Drew?”

  He didn’t hesitate. “I want you! I want to be with you. I want to wake up next to you every morning and fall asleep with you every night. I want to fight with you and have makeup sex on the kitchen floor. I want a life. I want it all and I want it with you!”

  “That’s such bullshit! You got caught and now you’re trying to cover your ass. If you wanted me, then why not just tell David the truth?” I was not going to let myself fall into another trap.

  “Because David already knows the truth! Everybody knows. Everybody, except you.”

  “Everybody knows what?”

  “That I’m in love with you! That I’ve been in love with you for six fucking years!”

  “What?” I said, barely choking out the word.

  He took a step toward me, saying the words slowly. “I am in love with you. I have fallen a little bit more in love with you every single day since you dumped that drink over my head.” Drew stepped closer, bringing his hand to my cheek. “You are stubborn, pig headed, and let’s face it, a little oblivious at times, but you are also smart, funny, and the most beautiful woman I have ever seen, inside and out. I love you, Red.”

  I stared at him. I couldn’t believe what he just said. He loves me? Six years?

  “W…Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “Because back then you needed me. You needed to have someone you could count on without the fear of more loss. I was doing what I thought was best for you.”

  I looked down as the tears filled my eyes. “No, you’re lying.”

  “Alex, look at me.” I did as he said, slowly dragging my eyes to meet his. I was surprised to see the love and sincerity shining out from them. “Things with us have always been effortless. You have been the best part of my life for so long that after a while, the thought of complicating that scared the shit out of me. That’s part of why I waited so long and that’s why I wanted to keep what was happening with us under wraps for a while, to see if we could have a real shot at making this work without all the pressure from everyone else getting in the way.”

  “That’s stupid.”

  “I didn’t say it was the smartest plan.”

  I laughed, my body starting to relax. I wanted to believe him. I wanted this to be real so badly, but I was terrified. My head was spinning. I shook my head and stepped away from him. This was all so overwhelming.

  “You’re it for me, Alex,” he said, his voice desperate and pleading.

  I didn’t know what to do or say. This whole thing was crazy. I didn’t know what to think. He really hurt me. He handled the David situation all wrong, but I had been too stubborn and wrapped up in my own heartbreak to give him a chance to make it right. He loved me and really, that was all I needed to hear.

  I closed the distance between us and kissed him, pouring everything I felt over the past few weeks—the doubt, the fear, all of the hurt—into the kiss. He responded, deepening the kiss, pulling me tight against his body. Everything we had been through didn’t matter anymore. I loved him and he loved me. Odds were, our future would be full of obstacles, but we could have a future. We could do it together.

  “Ahem!” Papa Jack was awake. Drew tightened his grip on me and we froze, breaking the kiss and turning our heads to face Papa Jack.

  “Glad to see you two have kissed and made up,” Papa Jack said, chuckling to himself as we finally broke apart.

  “Hey there, Pops,” I said, leaning over to kiss his cheek. “How do you feel?”

>   “Better now,” he said. “It’s about damn time you two came to your senses.”

  I smiled at him. “I’m glad to see you are doing okay. You had us pretty scared.”

  “Nah.” He waved his meaty hand. “Gonna take more than that to take this old dog out of the fight.”

  Drew put his hand on Papa Jack’s shoulder. Jack covered it with his own. They didn’t say anything, but you could feel their love for each other. I sat down on the end of the bed and Papa Jack turned toward me, shook his head, and smiled.

  “What?”

  He looked up at Drew. “Your mother called it.”

  Drew smiled and looked at me. “I kept my promise.”

  I gave him a look, trying to figure out what he was talking about, but he just shook his head.

  “I just wish she were here to see it,” Papa Jack said, his voice cracking.

  Tears filled my eyes and I took Papa Jack’s hand as Drew said, “She is.”

  The door opened and David and Millie came in, hauling balloons and flowers. Well, David was hauling them.

  “Hey there, Papa Jack. It’s good to see you awake. You had us so worried.” Millie enveloped him into a hug. Drew quickly moved out of her way, coming to stand behind me.

  “I not going anywhere before I get to meet my grandson,” he said, smiling up at her.

  “Well, you will be around a lot longer than that.”

  “Yep, gotta stick around for the next one,” he said, winking at me.

  My face flushed. Millie whipped her head around to face me, raising an eyebrow in my direction.

  I shot to my feet and held out my hands in protest. “I’m not pregnant!”

  Drew pulled me back against his chest and wrapped his arms around me. “Not yet,” he whispered, pressing a kiss to the sweet spot behind my ear.

  I thought Millie’s eyes would pop out of her head. David just smiled and shook his head while Papa Jack laughed.

  “Aren’t you skipping a few steps there, buddy,” I said, pulling away from him. He laughed and pulled me back into his arms.

  “Maybe so, but practice makes perfect, right?” Drew leaned in and kissed me, almost bringing me to my knees. There I go again with the swooning.

  “Well, it’s about damn time!” Sean said from the doorway. We hadn’t seen him come in, but I guess he witnessed everything.

  After a while, David told Drew and me to head home to rest, which he said with a wink. Millie slapped his arm for that one. We said our goodbyes and turned to leave.

  “Son,” Papa Jack called to Drew as we headed to the door. We both turned to face him. “You don’t deserve her,” he said with a smile.

  Drew nodded. “I know, Pop. I know.”

  Epilogue

  Alex

  A year later…

  “Babe, check this out!”

  I looked up from wrapping my gift to see Drew digging through a bag with childlike excitement. He pulled a ninja turtle action figure out, waving it at me. “I got him all four of them.”

  “Oh God.” I sighed and shook my head with a smile. “There is no need to transfer your sickness to your nephew, Drew.”

  “Every kid needs a hobby. I’m just helping to push him in the right direction.”

  He dropped his bag on the table next to me and peeked over my shoulder. “What did you get?”

  “A ride on Thomas the Tank Engine,” I said, fixing the bow, knowing I had won.

  “Oh man. Why didn’t I think of that?” he whined. “I wanted to get him something really cool for his first birthday.” He sunk down into the chair next to me with a pout.

  “I know. That’s why I already signed your name on the card.”

  He reached up, a smile stretching across his beautiful face as he pulled me down into his lap. “You’re amazing,” he said against my lips.

  The kiss started out slow but intensified quickly as he ran a hand up my back, pulling me closer. His tongue pushed into my mouth. I got lost in the feel of his hands on my body as his lips traveled to my favorite spot behind my ear.

  “Drew,” I moaned.

  “Hmmm?” He started kissing his way further south.

  “If we don’t stop,” I paused, moaning as his thumb grazed my nipple through my shirt. “We…we will be late to the party.”

  He stilled and leaned back. He met my eyes and smiled, pressing a soft kiss to my lips. “No one will notice if we’re a little late.”

  He lifted me into his arms and I squealed as he carried me to the bedroom.

  ***

  We pulled up to Millie and David’s about twenty minutes late and trust me, it was well worth it. Drew popped the trunk to remove our gift and we headed around back to join the party hand in hand.

  “‘Bout time you guys showed up,” David said as we rounded the corner. Drew’s face lit up when he saw his nephew, Jackson. He went right over and plucked him from David’s arms, holding him high above his head. Jackson squealed with delight.

  Drew was an amazing uncle. He doted on Jackson and that little boy loved him. It warmed my heart to see the two of them together. Drew was really going to be an excellent father someday.

  I left Drew and Jackson to play and went to see if Millie needed any help. “Happy Jackson’s birthday!” I said when I walked in the back door.

  “Hey, Alex,” she said as she bustled around the kitchen. Millie had gone all out. Balloons filled the back yard and the house. She had a huge food spread even though it was really only just us. I was sure little Jackson wasn’t into the roast beef pinwheels and stuffed mushroom caps, but it smelled delicious.

  “Do you need anything?”

  “No. I got everything done, but you can start taking some of the platters outside.”

  I did as I was told. When all the food was out, I went to the kitchen and poured myself a glass of wine. “You want one, Millie?” I said, gesturing to my glass.

  She smiled. “No thanks. I’m not drinking.”

  I laughed. “Seriously? With all of this party stuff going on, you would have to pry the bottle from my cold, dead fingers.”

  She just smiled to herself. Something was up. I studied her carefully for a few minutes.

  “Oh my God!” I shouted, startling her. “You’re knocked up again, aren’t you?”

  She waved her delicate little hand at me. “Shh, we were going to announce it after the cake.”

  I jumped up and down. “Millie, that’s amazing. I’m so happy for you.” I wrapped her into a hug. “Jackson needs a little sister!”

  “Maybe,” she said, “but I would be happy with another boy.” She smiled and laid a hand gently on her stomach.

  “This is so exciting!” I beamed up at her.

  We joined the boys outside just in time to see Papa Jack come around the corner. He was doing so much better since his heart attack. He was still taking it easy, though. He hired a fulltime bartender for The Den, a guy name Liam who was straight off the bus from somewhere down south.

  Papa Jack had a hard time letting go of the reins, but after spending the first few weeks sitting at the end of the bar, barking at the poor guy, he eventually eased up a bit and only went in to harass Liam two or three times a week.

  Papa Jack picked up Jackson. “Happy birthday, little man!” Jackson smiled, grabbing a fistful of Papa Jack’s beard.

  Sean rounded the corner and shouted, “Ain’t no party like a one-year-old party!” He waved his arms above his head. Papa Jack shot him a look and he awkwardly lowered his arms. Papa Jack shook his head, looking down to hide his smile. He had forgiven Sean for the thing with Bridget, but Papa Jack had fun messing with him anyway.

  “Who wants cake?” Millie asked and headed inside to get the cake. I followed to help with the plates and stuff. She brought out a beautiful, two-tiered masterpiece that had train tracks with a Thomas the Tank Engine running along the top. It was so adorable. Then she brought out a small round cake with white icing.

  “What’s that one for?” I asked, point
ing to the smaller one.

  “It’s a smash cake. This one is just for Jackson. He gets to dig in on his own.”

  Her eyes shined with excitement. I considered getting a tarp. This was going to be a mess, but as usual, Millie was a step ahead. She had Jackson’s high chair set up out back on the patio, where it could be easily hosed down. David put Jackson in his seat and strapped him in as Millie put the smash cake down in front of him.

  The kid went at it like a champ. I was impressed. He grabbed a tiny fistful of cake and shoved the whole thing, fist and all, into his mouth. We cheered and he clapped as he demolished the little cake. Jackson grabbed another fistful and offered it to Papa Jack, who happily took it from the baby’s slimy hand.

  Drew came up behind me, wrapping his arms around me as we watched Jackson rip into his cake. David and Millie looked so happy. They were the perfect little family. I found myself wishing that I would have this one day with Drew. I thought about what it would be like at my son’s first birthday with all of our family around, Drew laughing as our son or daughter smeared icing in his hair.

  As if reading my mind, Drew softly whispered into my ear, “We will have this one day.”

  I leaned back into him and smiled. “I hope so, but there are still a few things we need to do before we can even think of having a baby.”

  “Like what?”

  “Like move in together, get married. There is a natural progression, Drew.”

  “Okay, so move in,” he said, sounding so matter of fact.

  “What?” I looked up at him in shock.

  “Move in with me. We have practically lived together for months now. You have officially taken over my closet and my bathroom is littered with your products. I went looking for toilet paper the other day and found a jumbo box of tampons. Let’s face it. We live together already, just in two apartments, so let’s just consolidate.”

  “You’re serious?”

  “Yes, I am,” he said with a smile.

  I considered this for a minute. We were becoming rather domesticated. Hell, this morning he came in the bathroom to pee while I was shaving my legs. Nothing says love like peeing in front of each other.