Inner Diva

by Laurie Larsen

  She responded with a look of horror. “No, no, Carlos. This is my treat. Really, it’s no problem.”

  He persisted. “Regardless, I’ll pay for my sister’s supplies.”

  She focused on the bills in his hand for a long moment, then shrugged. “Okay. Thank you.” She took the money and tucked it in her pocket.

  Monica moved to the door, looking anxious to leave. Carlos followed her and caught up in two steps.

  “One last thing. I’m coming with you.”

  This pronouncement caused a moment of alarmed silence. Carlos held onto a last hope that she’d call the whole thing off.

  “Why would you want to do that?”

  “So that I can observe your driving skills first hand. For Luisa’s sake.”

  She stared for a moment, then she sighed. “Okay, have it your way. I suppose you can come along.”

  He nodded and called for Luisa. The little girl emerged from her room. “How many pencils can I get?”

  “As many as you need,” Monica replied and held up the two twenties in his direction, smirking.

  He wasn’t quite sure if he’d won or lost, but he was going shopping.

  Chapter Three

  This child was quite possibly the sweetest person she’d ever had the pleasure of sharing company with. It took so little to cause her joy. Receiving the gift of a 12-pack of yellow #2 pencils was a pleasure worth beaming over.

  “I hate to even ask,” she said, “because you’ve already said yes to my pencils, pens and protractor, but I do desperately need a ruler shorter than a foot long.” She looked up with an expression so expectant Monica had to swallow a giggle.

  “And why is that?”

  “I have the perfect spot for my ruler in my desk at school, tucked way to the right, but slid straight back, not sideways, you see?”

  Monica nodded.

  “But the desk is just an inch short of a foot deep. So my ruler is always sticking out and I’m afraid someone’s going to brush against it and either scrape themselves or break the ruler in two.”

  “So, the perfect solution is to find a ruler that fits the desk.” Monica internally congratulated herself for saying it with a straight face, delivered with the same seriousness Luisa addressed the subject.

  “I believe so.” The little girl nodded, her forehead scrunched in concentration.

  “Go for it.”

  Those three little words, and Luisa whooped with joy and sought out the ruler selection, her fingers tip-toeing over the shorter ones, using many of her senses to pick out just the right one.

  Monica beamed. Her gaze shifted to Carlos who stood planted a few yards away, watching their interaction with a scowl on his face, his forehead creased. When he realized she was looking at him, he shook his head and turned. Her heart did a little flip and she felt that ridiculous attraction she always felt around him – since the first time she’d laid eyes on him.

  Why would she be attracted to someone who obviously disapproved of her? He trusted her so little, he’d insisted on accompanying them on their trip to the mall so he could protect his sister from her.

  It was insulting, really.

  Did he think she couldn’t maneuver her car through the traffic challenges and deliver Luisa safely to the mall? And what was behind his insistence on paying for everything? Was that a machismo throwback from his culture as a Hispanic man?

  She picked up a zippered pencil pack, forcing her mind back to Luisa and away from her dark, brooding brother. “Hey, Luisa. What do you think of this?” She grinned at the girl’s reaction.

  “It’s got three holes on the side! I could store it in my three-ring binder!”

  Monica tossed it in the plastic carrier Luisa held on her forearm and glanced back at Carlos before moving to the next aisle. Was that a vein popping out on his forehead?

  He had to put his foot down sometime. After all, how long could this shopping excursion last? They’d been to the school supply store, and came away with bags of goodies, much to his sister’s absolute ecstasy.

  Then, they visited a store heavy with female accessories – hair bows, cheap jewelry and stickers. Luisa screeched her way through that store, too.

  Off to the Smoothie store for a frosty drink before heading to the shoe store, not to buy this time, but just to look.

  What a waste of time. His time. He’d almost protested on several occasions.

  And then he remembered he wasn’t exactly invited on this outing to begin with. He’d pretty much manhandled his way into the evening with Luisa and Monica. Who was he now to ask for an early end?

  As he counted the minutes, the ladies chatted, tried on shoes and had fun. Monica enjoyed being with his sister, and it was no act for his benefit, he was sure of that. Luisa glowed in the older girl’s attention.

  For a split second, he found himself wondering what it would be like to bask in Monica’s attention and approval.

  She wasn’t a typical beauty. She wasn’t as show-stopping gorgeous as Angela. But there was something about her. Maybe her creamy skin that glowed without artificial enhancement. Or maybe her mouth that was just a little too full for her face. Full, red lips he could make good use of as his own lips devoured hers.

  Or her eyes. Guarded around him, always watching, taking notice of where he was and what he was doing. Was she interested in him or did he intimidate her? Did he want to scare her off? Or interest her enough to get to know him better?

  He’d have to consider it later.

  For now, he dragged himself to his feet and followed them to the next store: oh Lord, a pet shop?

  Monica pulled into the driveway in front of Luisa and Carlos’s house and shut off the engine. Luisa jumped out from the backseat and Monica was about to follow when Carlos reached out and placed his hand on her wrist. The gasp that escaped from her mouth, as well as the quake that traveled through her entire torso were unplanned and unstoppable. There was something about Carlos – despite the fact that he seemed so suspicious of her – and the fact that he was so totally unlike every man she’d ever dated – and the fact that he seemed to be in a bad mood every time she was around. Despite all that, there was a chemistry that sizzled within her each time he was near. Call it hormones. Call it puppy love. Whatever. But it was intense, and it was undeniable.

  Embarrassed by her unbidden response to him, she tried to quickly pull herself together. She turned to him. “Yes?”

  He cleared his throat and let his hand drop from her skin. “I just wanted to say, you were great with Luisa tonight. She really had a good time.”

  Caught by surprise by his compliment, Monica was speechless. Her mouth dropped open and she was probably staring at him like he was an alien. Again she recovered with some effort on her part. “Well, thank you, Carlos. I had a really good time, too. I always do when I’m with Luisa. She’s a really great little girl, you know that?”

  He nodded. “I do. And I only want what’s best for her.”

  “Of course you do.” But he acted as if he suspected she wasn’t best for her. Monica wondered how she could broach that subject without spoiling the moment of truce they’d stumbled upon tonight.

  “Have you volunteered for Big Sisters before?”

  “No, I haven’t. Luisa is my first.”

  He frowned. She had an impulse to share her credentials to give him comfort that she was qualified to spend time with his sister, but she stopped herself. She’d already proven herself to the organization, to Senora Garcia and to Luisa. She wasn’t required to re-interview with him.

  “You obviously have concerns about my spending time with her.”

  He shook his head. “No, it’s just that I don’t want her to get too attached. Especially if you’re not in this for the long haul.”

  Monica blinked. Now, that was a surprise. He’d just turned tables on her. Instead of not wanting her to spend any time with Luisa, now he wanted her to be in it for the long haul. This tall, dark, handsome Latino was a total mystery to her
.

  How she’d love to unravel him, one layer at a time.

  The thought caused heat to flood her cheeks and she busied herself pulling the key out of the ignition and locating her purse. She looked out through the windshield and saw Luisa waiting on the doorstep. “I’ll just go say good-bye to Luisa, then I’ll be off.”

  He nodded. “Adios.”

  Throughout work, awareness lingered just beyond his conscious thought. Buried in a car’s engine, a thought would slip into his mind – tonight, she’d come – and then slip out. Only to permeate his thoughts moments later – he’d see her tonight.

  It drove him crazy.

  He shouldn’t be thinking about this woman. Why did she invade his day, his thoughts, his mind? It wasn’t like he wanted her. Or she wanted him.

  Carlos scraped fried chicken sticks from the baking sheet onto two plates and called, “Luisa! Time for dinner.”

  She ran into the kitchen as if shot from a slingshot, her cheerful appreciation of the simple meal nudging a grin from him.

  “Monica’s coming tonight!” she said between chews. He gave her an eyebrow lift, which she correctly read as, “Don’t talk with your mouth full,” and she turned her attention back to her meal.

  And yet, he couldn’t deny that there was something between him and Monica. Some sort of cautious attraction. Carlos knew what a woman’s desire looked like, felt like. He was no stranger to women being attracted and making no secret about it. But Monica was different.

  He knew from talking to Mama she had some kind of high-powered office job. Just like Angela. And he knew from talking to Monica that she was educated and intelligent. She was probably well respected in her career, successful. Again, the similarities between the two women were too close for comfort, even if Luisa didn’t pick up on them.

  Even if he was attracted to her – which he wasn’t – what would she want with him, a guy with hands stained with grease?

  He picked up a bag of potato chips from the counter and plopped it in the middle of the table. Luisa took a few and munched happily. “Monica said if I finish my homework tonight and we still have time, she’ll take me to the playground before it gets dark.” She chuckled. “Little does she know, I don’t have much homework left. I finished it in school!”

  Carlos couldn’t hide a snicker. How someone could be so enthused and excited about school and still have his blood flowing through their veins, was a mystery to him. He could’ve learned from someone like Luisa if he’d had a role model like her when he was her age. School hadn’t been important to him, other than as a way to make friends. Male and female.

  The doorbell rang and Luisa squealed, picked up her plate and ran with it toward the kitchen. “Luisa – “ he began, about to light into her for screaming like a maniac every time Monica appeared, but she shrieked, “I’m done! I don’t want anymore. Really.” She clattered her plastic plate in the sink, turned and raced to the front door. She paused a split second to smooth her untidy hair and then swung the door open.

  At the sight of her mentor, Luisa dove into a hug and Monica crouched down to receive the full power of his sister’s enthusiasm. He observed from the table. The two hugged with ferocity like long-lost cousins reunited. He watched his sister a moment, then he turned his gaze to Monica.

  She closed her eyes and a peaceful smile played on her lips. Her nose rested in Luisa’s hair and he could tell she was breathing in the child’s scent. As he watched her soak up the hug, he imagined holding her himself while she closed her eyes and went breathless from pressing her body against his. He would brush his lips against that soft smile, just to see how she would taste. How she would use those beautiful, full lips on his.

  The girls parted and he noticed with chagrin how his own body reacted to his daydream. He’d have to rein in his imagination for a few minutes before he could stand and greet her. Make a real effort to think about something different. Like an ugly old man. And a bucket of cold water.

  “Monica’s here, Carlos.” Luisa had brought her over and they both stood in front of him, looking at him, waiting for some sort of reaction.

  “Yeah, hi.” A little brusque, sure, but under the circumstances he’d done well to get even those two syllables out. But his glimpse of Monica’s hurt expression as she turned away gave him a little stab.

  As Luisa led Monica to her room, he could hear her telling Monica about homework and Monica’s pleased voice in response.

  He sighed and took his empty plate to the kitchen. A few minutes later, Monica and Luisa returned to the table where Luisa pulled out a single math worksheet, partially completed. Returning to the dining room, he approached Monica. She kept her attention glued on Luisa. When he stood close enough to touch her and she still avoided acknowledging him, he put a hand on her shoulder.

  A shudder ripped through her and she yanked her gaze in his direction, surprise on her face.

  “Sorry about that,” he began, but she interrupted him before he could continue.

  “About what?” Her alarm at his contact was evident, and Carlos realized he’d now touched her twice and she’d had the same reaction both times.

  When he touched her in reality, she shuddered with alarm. In his daydreams, she shuddered with pleasure.

  “I was rude when you came in. I didn’t mean to be. Let me try it again. Hello, Monica.”

  She scrutinized his face, giving him a look of confusion. Then, her lips curved up. “Hello, Carlos.”

  His own smile came naturally. “How was your day today?”

  She seemed to falter. “You don’t want to know.”

  “I don’t?” If she intended it as a jab, he probably deserved it. “Actually, I do. Bad day?”

  She studied him as he slid into the chair beside her so she wouldn’t have to twist her neck to see him. “Yeah. You could say that.”

  “You’re some sort of executive, aren’t you?” He bet however bad a day could get while sitting in an office didn’t come close to a bad day at his job.

  She snorted. “An executive? What gave you that idea?”

  He considered the question. “I heard you had a good job and I figured because you’re so smart and all, you must be the boss.”

  Luisa looked up from her paper. “Monica’s very smart. She knows all the answers to my homework.”

  Monica reached over and ruffled her hair. “Knowing all the answers to fifth grade homework doesn’t necessarily make me smart. And no, I’m definitely not an executive.”

  Carlos shrugged. “So what do you do?”

  “On days like today, I mainly just screw up.” She gave a sad smile before turning back to Luisa.

  “I don’t believe that,” he persisted, and he earned another surprised look from her.

  “I’m done! Time for the park, Monica?” Luisa brandished her paper and held it high in the air. Monica grabbed it and glanced over the answers. She held up her hand, which Luisa slapped.

  “Great job. Sure, it’s time to play.” She turned to him. “I thought we’d just walk down to that playground a few blocks away.”

  He nodded. “On Highpoint Avenue?”

  “That’s the one.” She gave him a cautious scrutiny, her eyebrows hiding in her bangs.

  “Let’s do it.” He couldn’t tell if she was happy he was coming, or just happy he hadn’t fought it.

  They bundled into jackets and the girls added scarves and gloves. They hiked the couple blocks to the playground. He parked himself on the picnic table while Monica pushed Luisa on the swing. Quick bursts of steam accompanied each bit of laughter and speech between them. Their cheeks were getting red from the early December chill, but it wasn’t too cold.

  He had an idea and called to them, “Give me ten minutes. I’ll be back.”

  They both nodded and waved and he headed across the street to the coffee shop on the corner. He bought two coffees and a hot chocolate. Not sure how she liked her coffee, or even if she liked coffee, he put cream and some sweetener in it and c
arried the cups back to the playground.

  When they saw him approach he waved them over to the table and handed out the steaming cups. “Slowly, you know, hermana,” he reminded Luisa as she squealed at the hot chocolate. She nodded and blew carefully on her drink before taking a cautious sip and smiling her appreciation at him.

  He paused with Monica’s cup in his hand. “I wasn’t sure if you liked coffee, but I thought I’d take a chance.”

  “That’s very nice of you, thank you.” She wrapped her hands around the cup, gathering its warmth into her gloved fingers. She took a sip. Carlos walked to a nearby picnic table and hoisted himself up to sit on the tabletop.

  Then, she moaned. Carlos yanked his mouth from his coffee cup and stared at her. Her face twisted in pleasure, her eyes barely open, and her mouth full of hot java.

  This was definitely a woman who wasn’t afraid to react to things that pleasured her. Would he love to pleasure her in his own way and see just how she reacted.

  She opened her eyes, swallowed the coffee and smiled at him. “It’s perfect.”

  Uh huh.

  “It’s just how I like it. Half and half, and two sweeteners, right?”

  She was waiting for a response so he’d better clean his mind up and answer her. “Yeah.”

  “I thought so.” They drank in silence until Luisa finished her hot chocolate, spotted a friend on the see-saw and ran off to join her. They watched her play.

  “So, tell me about this bad day of yours.”

  She took a long drag on the coffee, then swallowed it. She studied him long and hard before she said, “Really?”

  He nodded.

  “Why do you want to know?” She stood a few paces away from him, her tone wary, cautious.

  “Look, I know you think I’m a real hard ass because I’ve given you trouble when it comes to Luisa. But I have to admit you’re really good with her. She’s crazy about you already. So I figured the least I can do is get to know you better.”