All Autumn

by Sandra Owens

  My eyelids popped open, and I caught my breath at the hunger I saw in his eyes, at the heat shimmering in their depths. “Connor,” I breathed. I felt liquid, like melted gold.

  “So beautiful,” he answered. He trailed the back of his hand over the lace edging of my bra. “So damn beautiful.” He pulled me down next to him, leaned over, and put his mouth against my ear. “If you remember your name by the time I’m done with you, it will be a miracle.”

  He wrapped a strong arm around my back, bringing me against him. His free hand found its way into my hair, and he gave it a gentle tug, forcing my face to lift up.

  “Open your mouth, Autumn. Let me taste you.”

  He was still issuing commands, but he’d softened his voice, gentling me like one would a wild animal. My lips parted, and he wasted no time diving in. I think an eternity passed before he lifted his head and stared at me with eyes that were wild and possessive.

  “Do you know how long I’ve wanted you in my bed? Under me? Over me? Wrapped around me?”

  I shook my head since words had escaped me.

  “Too damn long.” He reached behind me and unhooked my bra with the ease of a man who’d had a lot of practice undressing women, a reminder that when he got bored with me, he’d move on. It both reassured me that this was only a game we were playing, while sending a little pang through my heart that I didn’t understand.

  He kissed me hard again, his tongue and teeth and mouth claiming me. My hands lifted to his neck while his lowered to my breasts, and when he flicked both of his thumbs over my nipples, I moaned into his mouth. Without warning I was flat on the bed with Connor kneeling above me.

  “Those sounds you make are driving me crazy.”

  “Sounds?”

  “Those little sighs and moans, the way you whimper.”

  “You like that?”

  “Oh yeah. I’m going to spend all night listening to you.” Still on his knees between my legs, his gaze traveled over me. “Damn beautiful.” He lifted his eyes to mine. “What do you like? Gentle? All slow and easy? Fast and hard? Rough?”

  What did I like? I wasn’t sure anymore, nor had any man ever asked. That Connor was asking sent warmth through me because it made me feel special and protected. “I want to do what you like,” I finally said.

  He smiled. “Ah, beautiful. That tells me everything I need to know.”

  28

  ~ Connor ~

  My beautiful girl was a fascinating mix of sultry woman and innocence, one minute gifting me with a sexy striptease and, in the next, going all shy on me. She couldn’t even tell me what she liked, but that was okay. I would have fun finding out.

  I put my hands on her thighs and circled my thumbs over her skin. “Do you want me to taste you, Autumn?” When she nodded, I tsked. “No, you have to tell me what you want.” She chewed on her bottom lip, drawing my gaze to her mouth. I loved her mouth.

  “Maybe I’ll go get a beer while you’re thinking about it.” I lifted my hands.

  “No! Yes.”

  “Hmm, no, you don’t want me to taste you, and yes, I should go get a beer?”

  “Connor . . .” She squeezed her eyes shut. “Yes, please taste me.”

  “Look at me when you say it.” I put my hands back on her thighs and inched my fingers to the edge of her panty line. I was going to enjoy teaching her to play.

  Her eyes opened, and she stared straight into mine. “Please taste me. There, are you happy?”

  “Deliriously.” I swallowed a smile at the glitter of irritation in her eyes. She was anticipating my mouth on her, wanted it, but she needed to learn that anticipation heightened the senses, fueled the desire. I flattened my palm over her mound, and damn if her damp panties didn’t have me almost throwing my lesson out the window.

  “Here? Do you want me to taste you here?”

  “Connor,” she wailed.

  I swallowed another smile. Instead of giving her what she craved, I crawled over her, holding myself above her. “Oh, I’m going to get there, make no mistake. But I think I’ll start here.” I kissed the tip of her nose. “And work my way down. What do you think of that plan?”

  “I think you’re a cruel man, Connor Hunter.”

  “Trust me, that’s not what you’re going to be saying soon.” I covered her mouth with mine. What was it about kissing this woman that had me thinking I could do it forever? She grabbed ahold of my waist and tried to pull me down. When I refused to budge, she slid her palms over my stomach and abs, then to my ass, and tried again.

  There was no place I wanted to be more than nestled into the vee of her legs, but we were playing by my rules tonight. And maybe she didn’t realize it, but her heavy breaths and her moans into my mouth gave her away. She was loving it.

  I kissed my way to her ear. “Anticipation, Autumn,” I whispered, then lifted my head and looked down at her. “It’s a good word. Means a feeling of excitement about something that is going to happen. The longer you have to wait for it, the better it will be.” I trailed my tongue down to the valley between her breasts. “Promise.”

  She tangled her fingers in my hair and pulled hard. “You’re mean and cruel.”

  I pinched her nipple as punishment. A low moan rose from her throat. “Panties off.” For the next ten, fifteen minutes I kissed and nipped and tongued every inch of her body, not satisfied until I had her screaming my name as she shattered.

  With the taste of her on my mouth, I crawled back up her body and kissed her hard. “Are you liking our word for the night any better now?” I asked after pulling away.

  She pressed her lips together, refusing to answer, but her dilated eyes and heaving chest betrayed her.

  I laughed. “Beautiful and hardheaded. You hate admitting I’m right. Don’t move.” I rolled over, shed my boxers, and then reached into the nightstand drawer, grabbing a handful of condoms, dropping all but one on the table. Autumn watched me put it on, her eyes going liquid again.

  “Have you thought of us together?” I asked, moving over her.

  “Yes.”

  “You’ve imagined how it would feel to have me inside you?” At her nod, I said, “Don’t just nod. Tell me.” I lowered my body, covering her. “Don’t ever feel shy about saying what you want, Autumn.”

  She grinned up at me. “I never would have guessed you’d be so talkative in bed.”

  “I’ll talk all night long about the naughty things I’m going to do to you as soon as you tell me what I want to hear.”

  “I’ve thought of how it would feel to have you inside me ever since the first time you kissed me.”

  Rewarding her, I slid halfway in, choking back a moan at how good she felt. “That’s a long time to be thinking about me”—I pushed a little farther into her heat—“doing this to you.”

  “I know.” She lifted her hips, urging me deeper. “I couldn’t get you out of my mind no matter how hard I tried.”

  “Did you think about me late at night when you were in bed and couldn’t sleep?” Damn, she felt good.

  “Yes,” she whispered.

  “Did you touch yourself, imagining it was my hand touching you?”

  She whimpered when I thrust fully into her.

  “Did you, Autumn?” I said when she didn’t answer.

  “Yes.”

  “Good girl.” I began with slow strokes, letting her get used to me. She was so incredibly tight, felt so insanely good, and this first time wasn’t going to last long. But we had all night. I never expected that I’d lose myself in her, and as I made love to her, our bodies joined, our eyes locked on each other, a stray thought flittered through my mind. This is where I belong. It was there long enough to make me freeze for a moment, and then she moaned and cried out.

  “Connor!” she said, my name a rasp of their two syllables. And then she shattered in my arms.

  Whatever had given me pause was gone, and the only thing in my mind was Autumn. All Autumn.

  Much later we sprawled in my bed, me l
eaning on the headboard and her using my chest to pillow her back, eating macadamia nuts out of the jar and sharing a bottle of root beer.

  “Can I ask you a personal question?”

  Autumn handed me the jar after dumping a half dozen or so nuts into her hand. “I guess. Might not answer.”

  “Fair enough.” I shook some macadamias into my palm, then set the jar on the nightstand. Maybe I shouldn’t pry into her sex life with Brian, but I wanted to know if I’d read her right. “You and Brian, your sex life was pretty vanilla, right?”

  She leaned forward and peered over her shoulder at me. “Wasn’t expecting that question.”

  “You don’t have to answer.” Although I wanted to know the answer. It would make a difference in how I went forward with her.

  She popped the last macadamia into her mouth and then brushed the salt from her hands. I stayed quiet, listening to the crunch of the nut she was eating, waiting for her to speak. She had the sheet pulled up over her breasts, and I made it one of my goals to get her to stop hiding from me. She was gorgeous, and she shouldn’t feel shy about letting me see her. All of her.

  “What made you ask that?”

  After a short debate with myself, I decided to answer truthfully. “Because even though you were with Brian for a little over two years, and before that there was Paul— I assume you slept with him?”

  “It that a problem for you?”

  “Not at all. I’d be a hypocrite if I thought that.” She was hugging her knees now, giving me the back of her head. I put my hands on her shoulders and pulled her back against me, then wrapped my arms around her chest. “It just surprised me a little that you’re shy in bed, because in all other parts of your life you’re fearless. I guess I wondered if that’s something else I can blame on your douchebag ex.”

  She shook her head, then said, “I’m sorry.”

  “For what?”

  “For being a lousy lay.”

  “Hush. You are not a lousy lay, and that’s not even close to what I’m saying.” I was saying this all wrong if that was all she was getting out of it. “Believe me, beautiful, I’m going to thoroughly enjoy teaching you how to have fun in bed. I’m a little confused, though. The day you drove off the mountain—which took about ten years off my life, by the way—you had gone to Brian’s dealership wearing nothing but a raincoat. Did you do that for him or yourself?”

  “I don’t know. At the time I thought I was doing it for him. When we were dating, before we got serious, he made a comment in passing that he’d like to bend me over his desk and . . .” She waved a hand in the air. “You know.”

  What I knew was that Brian was a class A ass, and I wasn’t sure why I’d even brought him up. Or maybe I was. I was pissed that for whatever his reasons were, he’d taught Autumn that she had to hide her sexuality. “You’re a sensual woman, Autumn. Be proud of that.”

  “Yeah?” She twisted to face me, keeping the sheet pulled over her breasts.

  “Oh yeah.” I’d had enough of her hiding herself, so I yanked the sheet from her clutches. “You don’t need that. You’re too beautiful to be hiding yourself.” Her blush was adorable, but she didn’t try to cover herself again. Since she didn’t seem to know what to do with her hands, I linked our fingers before she decided to cross her arms over her breasts.

  She stared down at our joined hands, then lifted her eyes to mine. “Maybe I wasn’t lacking something to hold his interest?”

  I hadn’t planned to tell her what Brian had said to Dylan, but her thinking she was lacking anything was ridiculous. Hearing the douchebag’s opinion on fidelity might help her put those doubts to rest.

  “Brian said something to Dylan shortly after you caught him cheating. I didn’t tell you before because I didn’t think you were ready to hear it, but it’s time you did.” She looked over her shoulder at me, and honest to God, I could drown in those blue eyes hanging on my every word. “I don’t remember his exact quote, but it was something along the lines of it being different for men, that a little pussy on the side didn’t mean anything.” And there was the fire I loved seeing in her eyes.

  “The rat bastard. He never planned to be true to our vows despite all the things he said claiming otherwise?”

  “I think that’s pretty obvious. You’re not lacking one damn thing, beautiful girl, nor are you the reason he’s a sorry excuse for a man. And before you storm off to knock down his door and beat him senseless, let me prove it to you.” I put my hands on her waist, turning her and pulling her up to straddle me. “Only one rule this time around. You’re in charge.”

  There wasn’t another woman I knew or had been with who I would have pushed this hard to see for herself how desirable she was, and it was only because Autumn had been close to a lifelong friend that I cared enough to put this much effort into restoring her faith in herself.

  “To hell with Brian,” she said. “I’ve got something much better right here.”

  “Have at me,” I said, laughing at the unholy glee lighting up her eyes. I thought I might have created a sex-loving monster. I hoped so.

  29

  ~ Autumn ~

  I couldn’t think straight this morning.

  Connor took me to a world I never knew existed with his kisses and touches, with how his deep blue eyes had held mine prisoner as he filled me in a way I’d never before known to even wish for.

  Then he’d torn me open, exposed my deepest secrets and fears word by eye-opening word, forcing me to see that I’d suppressed my own needs and desires to accommodate what Brian—the jerk face who thought it was perfectly okay to have a little pussy on the side—wanted from me.

  Gray light filtered in through the edges of the bedroom blinds. Unable to go back to sleep, I looked at Connor, but in the darkness all I could see was the outline of his body. That was a shame since I would have enjoyed feasting my eyes on him when he was unaware. Instead I eased out of bed.

  As soon as I stood, Beau was at my side, his wagging tail beating against my legs. “Let’s go watch the sunrise,” I whispered. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d seen the sun come up, and this morning seemed like the perfect day to do that.

  After I pulled leggings and a T-shirt out of my overnight bag, we made our way to the kitchen. I opened cabinet doors until I found Connor’s coffee stash. He had a K-Cup machine, and I picked a mocha-flavored one. Minutes later, coffee in hand, Beau and I went out onto Connor’s back deck.

  “Don’t run off,” I said to Beau as he raced down the steps. I leaned on the railing, watched him for a few minutes in the dim light, and satisfied he would stay close, I turned my gaze on the sun beginning to peek over the mountaintop.

  I thought about Brian and my father. Were they two peas in a pod? Did my dad not see anything wrong with cheating on my mother the same way Brian had with me? And what made my mom and me vulnerable to men like that? Our environment? Mom never talked about her parents, so I didn’t know much about them. I’d never even met them. Had her dad been a cheater and she’d learned to believe that was just how men were? Had I subconsciously sought out a man like my father even though I’d sworn that would never happen? Sworn that I’d never be my mother, yet I had been, if only briefly.

  If so I’d broken that mold by not tolerating even one cheat. For that I was proud of myself. I wished I could sit down with both Brian and my dad and have an honest discussion. I wanted to understand how their minds worked, how they could claim to be in love with a woman yet not stay faithful. Since I doubted either one would be honest, confronting them would be pointless. I was over Brian, completely and totally. But my dad still had the power to hurt me and my mom.

  Both had excuses for their behavior, and truthfully, I felt sorry for them. Rationally I knew not all men were my father or my ex-husband, but my trust in men had been destroyed, and I didn’t ever see that changing.

  So while I felt lighter of heart, I still didn’t trust my judgment, mostly because I didn’t have a blueprint for a marriage
filled with love and fidelity thanks to my parents. Love wasn’t for me. And that was okay. Better to just have fun out of life than to have your heart ripped out of your chest.

  “Beautiful,” Connor said, slipping up behind me and wrapping his arms around me.

  I looked up at the sunrise. “Yeah, it is.”

  “That’s not the beautiful I was talking about.” He nuzzled my neck. “I woke up with naughty thoughts in my head about you and would have showed you what was in my mind, but you weren’t there.”

  He sounded miffed. I chuckled. “Stop pouting. You can show me those naughty thoughts right here.”

  “I like how you think. In fact, I came prepared.”

  “Yeah?” I turned in his arms, leaned back, and perused his body. All he had on was a pair of well-worn jeans that he’d left unzipped. My gaze fell on the tantalizing arrow of black hair pointing down, and I traced it with my finger.

  I grinned. “You’ve gone commando on me. I like it.”

  He grinned back. “Seemed a wasted effort to put on underwear when I was hoping for a little outdoor activity.”

  “I’ve never made love under a sunrise before.”

  “We’ll have to correct that.”

  “Have you?”

  “Don’t go there, Autumn. Our pasts have nothing to do with you and me.”

  Meaning he had, and a streak of jealousy streamed through me, which was stupid. He lifted me onto the railing, causing me to yelp in surprise. I wrapped my legs around his thighs.

  “I won’t let you fall.” He gave me an odd look, then said, “Ever.”

  Before I could translate his meaning, he tugged on my leggings. “These need to come off. In fact, jump down. You need to sit on them so you don’t get any splinters in that perfect ass of yours.”

  Once I was settled back on the railing to Connor’s liking, he pulled a condom out of his pocket and set it on the railing, then pushed his jeans down and stepped out of them. Looking at a naked Connor took my breath away. He was perfection, and I feared that he set the bar very high, that any man after him wouldn’t measure up.