"You think that would help?" he asked, his voice growing serious.
"Maybe. Mako...sad. I'm sad too," I whispered.
I'd forgotten the loneliness we'd felt when Makoto had gone dormant for six rotations. The room could be filled with shifters, yet nothing mattered. Mako wasn't there to ramble or write to me about her eventful boring day and how the ugly bear shifter was still ugly.
Now that I could feel her presence and could talk to her whenever I wanted as a spirit, I missed those moments. I miss Mako.
Kade walked over to the bed, sitting down next to me. His thumb gently rubbed against my cheek, wiping the tear that begun rolling down it.
"I know you do. I miss her too," Kade whispered. He shuffled on the bed, lifting his legs and slipping them beneath the blanket before sitting next to me and pulling me to rest against his shoulder.
He let me cry quietly; his hand stroked my hair. When I relaxed, I began to drift off till I felt the movement of the bed and my head sink into the soft pillows. I tried to open my eyes, to have another glimpse of Twin Mako, but I lost the battle, beginning to fall back asleep. The last thing I felt was something soft press against my forehead.
"Everything will be okay, Midnight. Just have hope in us," Kade whispered.
~DANIEL~
I struggled to open my eyes, another yawn escaped me as I let the training room door close. I'd finished my evening shift. Kade mentioned Midnight was up for five hours and had a brief discussion about him looking like Makoto's twin.
He also told me that she cried for a few minutes before she fell back asleep, making me worried about her spirits’ mental health.
It made me want to rush and mend things with Midnight. I didn't want her resenting me, but more importantly, I too wanted to comfort her. I'd been taking the evening shift since her spirits were usually asleep during that time and didn't want any of them to feel uncomfortable with my presence.
Kai had informed me he'd placed a wheelchair next to the bed. Midnight already knew how to use it, but was impressed that it was pink.
When I'd entered for my shift, I'd noticed the difference in the room. Mako's unicorn float was in the corner of the room with a bunch of unicorn figurines lined up next to her bed. There was even the limited edition set Ryder had won her down on Earthala at the game stations, assembled neatly on the nightstand.
Kade had said Midnight explained Mako liked unicorns and her float would be nice in the room. I didn't think any of us took into consideration that Midnight and the other spirits would be bored looking at the pink walls all day.
Kai informed Midnight he'd get her some things to do. He notified Kade he was going to his studio to get some art supplies and blank sketchbooks and would spend some time with her during the day before her therapy exercises.
Kai had let Midnight know about the competition, explaining that we would try our best to make it so that she didn't have to participate if possible. She showed no concern, stating if she had to fight to protect Makoto she'd do it whether she could use her legs or not.
I sighed, trying to figure out how we'd fix everything. For now, I had to continue doing my part in healing her and finding a way to undo the damage done to Makoto's nerves. Kai and I had talked privately regarding the second person who'd endured a similar fate. He reassured me he'd look into it and knew what to do to get the information we needed.
Kai was someone who everyone seemed to owe a favor. Even I owed him quite a few from our teen cycles and still hadn't paid them back. If he said he'd use his connections to get information, he would definitely come back with someone that would help give us a lead.
Till then, I just had to be patient and hope my small efforts in making Midnight and the others feel more comfortable would help their views of me. Before I'd left my shift, I was able to work a little on Mako's hair; gently brushing it out and styling it in loose curls. At least Midnight or whoever else woke up would feel a little happier.
I rubbed my eyes, hoping it would help with the blurriness.
I’d had issues with my eyes ever since the incident that happened when I was younger. It was an accident, just like how Makoto had hurt Nightmare in a phase of anger not with the real intention of hurting her.
I turned the corner before making my way down the hall, ready to turn my head and take a glimpse of the private balcony. The doors were always open unless the room was in use, and it gave me a moment to see outside before I headed to bed.
I didn't have the courage to go on the balcony unless I was with someone. I'd only gotten used to Knightwood’s balcony after cycles of Ryder encouraging me to face my paranoia.
I'd tried a few times to walk on this balcony to see the beautiful landscape of Heila at night instead of through a window, but I hadn't gotten that far yet— taking only three steps before retreating.
Maybe today I'd make it four? I checked on Azriel to see if he was awake, having tired him out during our training session today before the early magic infusions. Azriel?
There was no response, confirming my thoughts.
My eyes lingered on the pink carpet of the castle, the moonlight made the carpet appear a light purple. I lifted my head up and turned to my left, wondering if I'd be able to take enough steps to get a glimpse of the stars that sparkled in the sky when my body froze.
My vision was still blurry, but I knew someone was on the patio; I could see the image of their hands gripping the stone ledge.
I narrowed my eyes, using a bit of my magic to clear my vision before my eyes grew wide; loose brown curls waved softly in the warm breeze. I noticed the simple pink dress that flowed with the wind, my eyes lowering to her legs that glowed vibrantly, flickering on and off.
"Makoto?" I whispered, my heart skipping a beat. The image changed in seconds. Now I saw a different balcony with Claire the one holding the ledge, lifting herself up and falling forward to her death. The death that I had caused.
I jolted forward, unsure now if the person on the edge was Claire or Makoto. In seconds, my arms embraced her from behind, my breath coming in pants as I shivered.
"Daniel?"
I tightened my arms, my heart racing as tears rolled down my cheeks.
"Don't leave. Don't...I'm sorry. Don't die. Please," I begged, unsure of what I was saying, but the words needed to be said. I needed her to know that I was sorry for making her life a living hell.
"Daniel...I'm safe. Don't cry."
I noticed the change in tone; the low, but gentle voice made me realize it was Midnight. I opened my eyes, lifting my head from her shoulder while she turned her head. Midnight blue orbs met my teary ones.
"Midnight..." I pulled her into my arms, crying on her shoulder. She tensed at the sudden action, but soon relaxed, her arms wrapping around me as she rubbed my back. I held her weight so she wouldn't fall.
"Why are you crying, Daniel?"
"I thought...I'd made you jump...like Claire," I whispered.
"Claire?"
I simply nodded against her shoulder. She didn't say anything, but continued to rub my back in an effort to console me.
Eventually, she spoke. "I wanted fresh air, but no one was around. Found this place and got distracted. Sorry for scaring you. Wasn't planning to jump. Don't cry," she reassured me.
I nodded again, trying to calm my frantic heart.
"Daniel. What's wrong?" Ryder's voice entered my mind through the bond.
I must have woken him up. "I'm okay. Sorry. I just freaked out over something," I admitted.
"Do you need me to come to where you are?" he questioned, his voice sounded like he wasn't convinced by my words.
"No. I'm okay. I'll come to bed after I check on Midnight."
"Okay. I'll be there if you want to talk," Ryder replied.
"Thank you."
"Always," Ryder replied, leaving our bond.
I took a deep breath before I leaned back, still holding Midnight’s weight. I noticed the curiosity in her eyes, but she stared right back a
t me, not asking any questions.
"Sorry I interrupted your stargazing." I gave her a sad smile, looking away.
"No worries. Stargazing is not fun by yourself," she admitted.
I frowned. "Do you still want to?" I asked.
She pondered for a moment, lowering her head in thought. "Yes," she confirmed, meeting my gaze.
"Okay," I replied, lifting her up and placing her back in the wheelchair.
"Can I take you to a better spot?" I requested.
She lifted her head to stare up at me. "Sure."
I didn't delay, wheeling her out and heading for the spot Ryder had shown me. He explained it was one of Mako's and Rose's favorite spots and was the best place to see the multi-colored stars.
It wasn’t long before the guards noticed us, but they didn’t interrupt our walk as I continued to wheel Midnight through the maze and to the clearing.
When we got there, I noticed the bench Ryder had suggested they usually sat upon to stargaze. I rolled the wheelchair until it was next to the bench.
I wanted Midnight to enjoy her first experience outdoors in Heila and not be in her wheelchair which was a reminder of what she and the others were currently enduring. I lifted her out, which from the way Midnight's eyes widened and confusion glazed over her face, she didn't understand what I was doing till I sat her on the bench.
"Thank you," she whispered.
I nodded, sitting next to her. I knew with our situation, I should have sat further down the bench, but I was still trying to calm down from my scare; my body craved to be close to someone. It may have been viewed as selfish, but there was nothing I could do about it right now, and I'd apologize to Midnight later for being in her personal space.
She didn't seem to mind our closeness, her hand that laid on the stone bench was lined up next to mine— our pinky fingers touching.
I looked to see her head inclined as she stared at the sky full of stars. Gold, pink, red, and blue, the sky was filled with so many stars, it would be impossible to count. There was not a cloud in the sky, giving us a first-class view that humans would pay thousands to see and analyze for research.
I noticed the wide smile that morphed on her lips. She blinked, a tear rolling down her cheek.
"Midnight?" I whispered.
"So beautiful. This world is so beautiful and filled with so many undiscovered mysteries," she whispered. More tears rolled down her flushed cheeks before she continued, "At the facility, the sky is nothing but darkness. Pitch black with no stars or light. Makoto would pray every day, to multi-colored stars she would imagine in her head, begging the gods would help us find out purpose. Who would have thought all of this existed? You never really appreciate something until you've experienced it being taken away from you."
She lowered her gaze and turned faced me.
"I wasn't going to jump. I'm not going to give up for Mako's sake. Makoto loves this world...loves that she's able to see life with a new perspective. She'd wish to enjoy freedom and see what was behind those mold-filled walls. Now that we can finally enjoy Mother Starlight's beauty, it's hard to ignore the feelings of happiness. I'm just sad Makoto isn't here right now to see it. But, I'll work hard. I'll work ten times harder so when she comes back she won't be sad anymore."
I took a deep breath, ignoring the doubts that ran through my mind about what I wanted to do. I lifted my hand, placing it on Midnight’s.
She glanced down at our hands, staring at them for a few moments, but she didn't pull it away.
"I'll work just as hard to help you heal. I'll read every book and search far and wide to find what I need to help restore your legs. I swear it. Let the Starlight gods be my witness," I vowed.
I noticed the soft glint of light which I assumed was coming from the back of my hand, but I kept my eyes locked on Midnight's, wanting her to realize I meant every word.
She nodded. "Okay."
I would get through any challenges that arose and conquer them. Nothing would stop my determination to make things right.
~MIDNIGHT~
20 MINUTES EARLIER...
I opened my eyes, having trouble sleeping. It was my tenth attempt and I now felt a sense of frustration. When I used to be Mako's split personality I'd never struggled to fall back asleep— finding my spot within our subconscious and knowing I belonged with the darkness.
But now, it was as if the darkness didn't want me and was staying far away and I didn't have anything else to do. Kai would be here in the morning and promised to bring me stuff to do, but till then I had to stare at the pink ceiling, having lost count of the little dots when I surpassed 13,543.
I'd woken up an hour ago, not bothering to move or look around the plain room. I was tired of gazing it all afternoon and it just made me more depressed. I had kept my eyes closed for the first five attempts to drift back to sleep, but decided if I counted the spots on the minute indents of the ceiling like counting sheep, I would fall asleep like the books Makoto enjoyed reading proclaimed. Well, they lied.
I groaned, closing my eyes for a moment. Anyone there?
My mind was greeted with silence, making me frown as I tried to ignore the urge to cry. I hadn't felt such sadness since Samuel and even then, it wasn't to this degree. I also felt lonely, like all those times in the darkness, yet this time I could feel, smell and hear. I could interact with people, yet there was no one here. I wanted someone to talk to, wishing morning would come faster.
If my internal clock worked correctly, it was twenty minutes to eleven. I had a long way to go until morning and from sleeping all afternoon and evening, I doubted I'd fall back to sleep even after counting another 13,000 of indent. I sat up, my hand ready to go through my hair when I noticed the difference.
My eyes grew wide at the change in the room. They first landed on the large unicorn float that sat exactly where I'd imagined it would fit. I looked to my right to see little unicorn figurines, some I'd never seen before and knew Makoto hadn't had in her collection. My eyes trailed to my nightstand, smiling at the limited edition set Ryder had won at the game station when we'd gone down to Earthala a few weeks ago. Kai must have done this.
I returned my attention to my hair, noticing my once straight, split end hair was in loose curls, only a little frazzled from sleeping on them.
Daniel...
I hadn't seen him all today, but from what Kade had told me, he'd been helping them with shifts and magic infusions. I could guess he didn't want a confrontation, thinking I was still upset with him.
I wasn't at all mad at him. I just hoped I'd get an opportunity to talk it out.
I sighed, enjoying the view for a few more moments till my eyes lowered to the pink wheelchair next to the bed.
I could go for a walk? Maybe I'll feel less lonely if I have some fresh air.
I shuffled to the edge of the bed, dragging my legs and making my way into the wheelchair, securing my lifeless limbs and ensuring my feet were on the pedals. I leaned forward and looked down to view their position since I couldn't feel them. I sighed, shaking my head to brush off the hopelessness that tried to claim me, and began to roll myself toward the door.
Since Mako was dormant and I hadn't shown any signs of harming myself, I was taken off 24/7 supervision. The last shift ended at nine at night and started back up at six in the morning.
It's not like it affected me much. They wouldn't wake me up seeing as I hadn't woken up till the afternoon; Kai and Kade both had done a good job at not making any noise while I was in a deep slumber.
I made my way down the hall, deciding to explore. I had heard talk about this floor being the third, meaning I'd have to use the elevator at some point. I stopped at the edge of what was named the nursing station, noticing the big sign. I glanced around, looking for some signs of life, but no one was there.
Should I ask permission to go out? But no one is around.
"Hello?" I whispered, waiting for anyone to walk by or hear my soft call. I frowned, my shoulders dropping. I wan
ted to go out, needing to clear my mind from the dark thoughts that threatened to take over. I took a deep breath, putting an invisible cloak around me.
It was a spell we'd learned in the facility for if we'd ever had to participate in any assassinations the Owner wanted us to carry out.
I wheeled myself around the quiet medical center until my eyes found the silver box Kai had described as an elevator. I remember Makoto had a conversation with Marcus and the others when we took our first elevator ride in Earthala, before we found the unicorn onesie shop.
It was cool to be in one and experience it, but from some of the stories I'd read I wouldn't want to be trapped in one.
I pressed the button marked as “1”, the doors closed and took me down to the first floor. I wheeled out, glancing around for anyone. I frowned, taking a deep breath before closing my eyes, trying to feel where I could find a good spot to get fresh air.
I looked to the left, hearing the sound of a light breeze. I was glad that we had sensitive hearing, being able to use said sense to my advantage on many occasion. I took my time wheeling down the quiet hallway. I couldn't sense any shifters on this half of the hall.
I reached the end, and spotted an exit sign. I looked to ensure there was no camera. Even if they didn't see me, I think they would be a little freaked if they saw the door randomly open and close.
I made my escape, entering the main stone halls of the castle. I continued to listen to the call of the wind, somehow directing myself through the large hallways and then took the elevator to the third floor. Since the top floor of the medical center was disconnected from the main castle, taking this route seemed logical. Though to me, it was a waste of time.
When the doors opened I wheeled out, stalling when I sensed two shifters. I rolled out, hiding next to the elevators as the guards came to sight.
"Hmm? The elevator not working again?" the guard with the red hair pondered.
"Technology. It totally helps so you don’t have to take the stairs, but I don't see what the big deal is. Especially if they're breaking down or stalling all the time," the other guard with black hair complained.
Poisonous Dream (The Starlight Gods Series Book 5) Page 9
