Steady

by Nicole Tillman

Without a single word from us, he tipped his invisible hat before sauntering off in the direction of a group of half-tipsy freshman.

  “Ugh,” Veronica spat out. “Pig.”

  It was no secret that Veronica had a thing for Carter, but he was far from being the monogamous type. She wanted hand holding and whispered promises while Carter was more into dry humping and forgetting phone numbers.

  There wasn't a single thing wrong with that. I commended him for sowing his wild oats while he was still in college, but he was far from what Veronica needed in her life, so I was happy she didn't feel the need to pursue him.

  “So, uh, anyone ever assembled a tent before?” Sydney asked as she slipped the instructions out of the zippered bag.

  “Nope.”

  “Uh uh.”

  “Sorry.”

  Sydney let out an exasperated breath and looked across the grass to where Carter was flexing his biceps for a girl in a tiny white bikini.

  “I'll go ask Ca-”

  “No!” Veronica grabbed the instructions. “We don't need his help. We are four grown ass women with college degrees. This isn't freaking rocket science. It's a tent. If pioneers and homeless people can do it, so can we.”

  After watching her examine the paper for all of five seconds, I knew she was rethinking her insistence on being a 'grown ass women'.

  With one hand on her forehead smoothing away the wrinkles of confusion lining her perfect face, she looked around the campground and I could practically see the light bulb come to life over her head as she laid eyes on a group of men a few feet away.

  After stuffing the instructions into the pocket of her jean shorts, she pulled her t-shirt over her head, revealing the scarlet bikini hidden underneath.

  “Uh oh.”

  I looked to the girls who seemed to be just as worried. Veronica was always full of bad ideas, and it seemed this would be one we could add to her collection.

  She tugged at the ponytail holder at the crown of her head, unleashing her messy blonde waves as she strolled toward the group of men.

  “Hey, guys!” She waved to get their attention and they all straightened as they took in her athletic frame. “Can you help us a sec? We have nooo idea what we're doing over here.”

  Never before had I witnessed a group of guys scramble up so fast in my life. They practically tripped over themselves in their haste to rescue our friend who was playing the role of damsel in distress.

  Sydney leaned in as we watched the boys go to work. “Impressive. I couldn't even get a gas station attendant to clean my windshield yesterday.”

  “Were you wearing a bikini?” I asked with a smile.

  “Nope.”

  “There's your problem.”

  “Well, that was easy,” Veronica said, rejoining our little group. She dusted off her hands, as if she'd done any real work.

  She wore a knowing smile and I shot her a look to let her know just how transparent she was to me. Her motives weren't as inconspicuous as she hoped. Unlike the rest of our friends, I was not oblivious to the fact that her eyes darted across the grass to gaze at Carter every ten seconds.

  “You know this is just as bad as him flexing for those girls, right?”

  Veronica turned her five-thousand-megawatt smile my direction and winked.

  “I know.”

  ***

  By the time the sun fell beneath the trees and a blanket of darkness swept over our campsite, the men had made quite an impressive fire. We all laughed as Carter wound his t-shirt around his head like a turban and pointed to the flames with a small limb he'd claimed as his scepter.

  “We men. We make fire. Cook food. Feed all the pretty ladies.”

  “I always knew you were secretly a caveman.” I took a drink of the semi-warm beer in my hand. “Nice to see you've embraced it.”

  “As long as you don't get one of those through-the-nose piercings,” Nora added.

  “Ew! Are you kidding me? Those are disgusting.” He crinkled his nose at the thought. “I would never do anything to disrupt the beauty that is my face.”

  Carter ran his hands over his cheeks and pursed his lips, but the show of confidence didn't fool me. He was just as insecure as the rest of us. Males like Carter just thought that showing or voicing a physical insecurity made them weak or vulnerable, so naturally, they overcompensated. And Carter was the king of overcompensation.

  Even Veronica rolled her eyes, acknowledging just how full of it he really was. It amazed me that she was still able to fawn over him while she had a flock of guys waiting on her hand and foot. The same guys who had dropped what they were doing to assemble our tent.

  As more and more alcohol was consumed, we all continued to laugh at Carter's antics. Laughter still rang out in the air around us as we were blinded by the lights of an SUV parking at the edge of the campsite.

  Shielding my eyes with one hand, I used my free hand to check my phone as the owner of what I could now see was a Jeep stepped from the rig. As I scrolled through my Facebook feed, my mouth ran dry and my heart started beating frantically as fear grabbed me by the throat.

  What the hell?

  Whipping my head around, I tried to pinpoint what on earth had caused such an out of place reaction. Not laying eyes on anything that was worth fretting about, I took a deep breath and worked to calm my nerves.

  And that's when I smelled it.

  Men's cologne.

  Familiar.

  Eerily familiar.

  “Hey, guys! Sorry I'm late.”

  My eyes flashed up to meet the newest member of our little camp-out. In that small, yet monumental moment, my heart tripped over itself and landed flat on its face.

  Pale skin.

  Hair as black as pitch.

  Bright blue eyes.

  Impossible...

  I watched in silence as the strange man carried a cooler to the edge of the fire before claiming it as his seat.

  “What'd I miss?”

  He cast a wide smile across the crowd, leaning forward to fist-bump some of Veronica's worshipers. The way he carried himself was easy, light, and confident - like he was simply with his people on vacation. You'd never know that he was secretly hacking away at the heartstrings of a girl who sat directly in front of him, hiding just on the other side of the growing flames of the fire.

  As almost every girl in the campsite sprang up to introduce themselves, I sat back and stared in wonder. And frustration. And confusion. And most of all... fear.

  “It's him...”

  Chapter Five

  “Him? Him who?” Nora asked, giving the newcomer a once-over.

  Heat flooded my cheeks once I realized I'd actually let the words fall from my lips. If the girls knew about the man I'd seen in the dorm, they'd know that I had been trying to contact someone by myself, and that would send all three girls into a whirlwind of disapproval. I hurried to cover my tracks.

  “Oh, just a guy I've seen around,” I said, trying for nonchalance. “You know him?”

  “Jay Bryson,” Sydney offered. “Nerd. Spends most of his time on campus in the computer lab. Barely sees the light of day. Probably why he's so late. Didn't wanna expose that translucent skin of his.”

  “He goes to MSU?”

  “Yup. But unless you're a techie, you never see him. Nice guy though.”

  “So, how do you know him?”

  Sydney smiled and if I wasn't mistaken, her cheeks flushed.

  “Remember that Rolan guy I dated last semester for, like, two seconds?”

  I nodded. Rolan was the King Nerd on campus, complete with spectacles an inch thick and a crown of curly red hair that looked as if it had never seen the likes of a comb.

  “Well, I met Jay when they had some kind of Mario Kart competition in the student center. I swear, the moment Jay walked through the door every person in the room with a uterus flocked to him. He's just not the kind of brain you expect to have... all that.” She nodded toward the man, who was currently flashing a bright smil
e at a brunette who was attempting to scoot her way onto his lap.

  “Interested?”

  I jumped when someone's elbow made contact with my ribs. I looked up to find Nora smiling her 'I'm your best friend and I know exactly what you're thinking' smile.

  “Maybe,” I grinned back, only because any other reaction would have made her suspicious.

  “Go talk to him.”

  “Um. No.”

  I averted my eyes. Instead of indulging them in juicy girl talk, I reached behind our cooler to grab the bag of marshmallows we planned on roasting.

  “Chicken shit,” someone whispered.

  “Excuse me?” I looked up to find Veronica leering at me.

  “You heard me. Bawk! Bawk! Bawk!”

  “Real mature,” I shot back.

  “Mature? You're the one who's scared to go talk to a guy.”

  She thought she had me there, but really, she had no clue.

  “He's a little busy, in case you haven't noticed.” I jerked my chin in the direction of the busty gal monopolizing his attention.

  “That girl is a six,” she said before nudging the guy sitting closest to her. He nodded obediently and held up six fingers. “You're a solid ten.”

  Laughing, I busied my hands by impaling a marshmallow on a skewer and dipping it close to the fire.

  “Flattery will get you nowhere with me.”

  Veronica crossed her arms and turned back to her groupies. “She is the only exception to that rule.”

  “I heard that.”

  The guys all laughed playfully, even as Veronica's eyes darted across the fire to where Carter was wooing a hot blonde. It was funny actually, since the girl looked like a miniature version of Veronica.

  But I couldn't even enjoy the irony because pain flashed across her features at the two flirtatious beings just out of her reach. So, instead of cause herself more grief, she wiped her face clean of envy and turned her steely eyes on me.

  “First time you've seemed interested in a man in months and you don't have the balls to approach him? Whatever.”

  To anyone else it would have sounded like she was brushing me off. But they didn't know Veronica like I did.

  It was a dare.

  Then, as if Jay knew he was being talked about, his eyes darted over and found mine over the fire. After flashing a quick, charming smile, he dismissed the brunette at his side, grabbed a small skewer from a friend, and headed my way.

  “Shit.”

  My spine stiffened as I watched him make his way over. I had no urge to talk to him. The last time I'd seen him, he had been an apparition. A ghost. A spirit haunting my dorm as well as my dreams.

  Or maybe I'd imagined the whole thing. Maybe I actually had seen him around campus and my mind had conjured his image in my dreams just as a subconscious note that I was attracted to him. Yet, that didn't explain how I knew exactly what his cologne smelled like.

  As he approached, I opened my mouth to blurt a lame excuse to leave the campfire, but three voices beat me to it.

  “I need a beer.”

  “Gotta pee.”

  “I think I see my lab partner.”

  In the span of two seconds, all three of my friends had vanished. The terrifying stranger took a seat next to me and pointed his skewer at the bag of marshmallows sitting in my lap. I squirmed nervously as I waited for him to speak.

  “Got a spare?”

  I barely heard him, let alone understood him, as heat rushed to my face. My heart was screaming. It had sprouted little arms and little fists and was bashing the crap out of my rib cage, begging to be set free.

  “What?”

  “A spare,” he smiled as his eyes dropped to my lap. “Marshmallow.

  “Oh, right.”

  I shakily tossed the bag his way, too scared to risk reaching out and touching him. I still wasn't sure what the hell was going on and it didn't help that my head and my heart were competing for 'Biggest Freak Out'.

  “Thanks.” He busied himself with smashing three marshmallows on his skewer and I tried to play catch up and assemble a coherent sentence.

  “Do I know you?”

  I cringed as soon as the words left my mouth. My voice was breathy and low, so it sounded like a come-on.

  He probably thinks I'm trying to hit on him now. Great...

  “Nope. I don't believe we've met. Pretty sure I'd remember that fiery hair of yours.” He flashed me another million-watt smile and extended his free hand. “Jason Bryson. Everyone calls me Jay.”

  I hesitantly placed my hand in his and was relieved to find his flesh warm and firm, not frigid and empty as I'd feared. That would have sent me running for the hills.

  “Bree. Preston. Bree Preston,” I stuttered.

  “Nice to meet you, Bree Preston.”

  He returned his hand to his knee and turned back to the fire, eying his marshmallows as they turned from white to brown to black. I watched as well, waiting for him to remove the flaming ball of soon-to-be ash from the fire.

  “I... I think it's done.”

  Jay cocked his head to the side, but his eyes remained trained on the flames. “See, that's the thing about marshmallows. There's really no such thing as 'done'. It's subjective, you see. If you like your mallows with just the smallest bit of crisp around the edges and a gooey center, then a few seconds and it's done. Or, if you like them fluffy and cold, then they're done right out of the bag. No fire required. And if you're like me and enjoy it when your marshmallow is reduced to nothing more than a charcoal briquette with a rubbery center that falls apart in your mouth, then that is also considered 'done'.” He pulled the marshmallows in for inspection and closed his eyes, savoring the smell. “See? Subjective.”

  “Like toast,” I blurted.

  If it wouldn't have made me look like an even bigger idiot, I would have slapped my palm to my forehead.

  “Yup. Like toast. Hence, 'toasting' marshmallows,” he said, complete with air quotes around toasting.

  My cheeks heated and I bit my lip to keep from saying whatever other moronic ideas were bouncing around in my faltering brain. Jay was scrambling my thoughts and I was turning into a bumbling imbecile, something that had never happened to me before. Yeah, he was funny and charming and clearly intelligent, all of which I found attractive, but alarm bells were blaring so loud I couldn't concentrate on any of those things.

  “Wanna go for a walk?”

  “What?”

  I whipped back to face him, only to find that he'd pocketed his charismatic smile and replaced it with an innocent, slightly nervous grin that completely disarmed me. I wasn't prepared for his emotional arsenal to be so well stocked, and I wasn't sure how I was supposed to respond. Plus, taking a walk in the dark with a stranger who I'd seen leering at me in my bathroom mirror didn't exactly sound like the best of ideas.

  “It's starting to get loud and everyone's starting to show their asses. Would you rather go for a walk around the lake with me?”

  “The whole lake?” I asked stupidly.

  Seriously, brain, catch up, would ya?

  “No,” he chuckled. “Just down the shore a ways and then right back. Just far enough for me to woo you and lure you to your death, serial killer style.” He flashed a mischievous grin and for a split second I worried that that's exactly what he planned. I'd recently read that the easiest way to get away with something was to tell a person the complete truth when they thought you were joking.

  “Uh...”

  “That was a joke, Bree.” His dark eyebrows pulled together and he set what I'm sure he thought was a reassuring hand on my knee. I jerked beneath his touch and he retreated, clearly sensing my trepidation. “Whoa, okay, obviously I suck at joking.”

  “No, uh... that's not- I don't. Maybe...” Clearly my mouth was just flinging things out into the air, hoping that words connected mid-flight and fell into sentences.

  Fail.

  Mouth fail. Brain fail.

  Just one big fat ball of fail.
<
br />   “Bree.”

  Jay's voice was hard, but not menacing. Quiet, but not soft. Commanding, but not intimidating. My name on his tongue was not to be ignored, so my eyes found his without hesitation.

  “I'm not one of those guys,” he said. His eyes held the shine of a promise as he shook his head. “Although I guess you wouldn't know that since you don't know me from Adam. So...” he looked around and spotted the girls who were within spying distance but far enough away they wouldn't have been able to eavesdrop. “Your friends?”

  I nodded.

  “C'mon.” He stood and offered me his hand to help me out of my chair.

  Like the daft girl I was quickly making myself out to be, I stared at his hand like I didn't understand the gesture.

  “I don't bite.”

  When I still didn't take his hand, he knelt down and waited patiently for me to make eye contact. Which I did. Reluctantly.

  “Am I that scary? Or are you always this shy?”

  Shy? How funny. He thought me being distraught to the point of speechlessness had something to do with timidity. Not the case. I was just too confused and scared out of my mind to understand what the hell was happening.

  Ghost sightings. Hot dudes resembling ghosts. Mysterious smells. Freakish coincidences. The pieces of the puzzle were just not fitting into place.

  “No.” It was the only answer I could offer that couldn't be misconstrued as weak.

  Without speaking, he turned his palm upward, far enough away for it to seem casual, but close enough to show that he was still offering. No pressure.

  I took a few seconds to gather myself. First, to tell my heart to take a pill. Second, to tell my brain, yet again, to catch the hell up. And third, to assure myself that whatever was going on was just attraction between a male and female. Nothing more. There wasn't a single thing about Jay that screamed “paranormal”, “dangerous”, or “dead.” I was being irrational.

  He was charismatic, warm, interested.

  And very much alive.

  Slipping my hand into his, I let him pull me to my feet before following him in the direction of the girls, who looked like they might be ready to panic and scatter. Meanwhile, I tried not to let my heart do the very same thing.