Seven Letters

by Sinéad Moriarty

  ‘Stop!’ Riley shouted. ‘Don’t get the doctor. It wasn’t spiked.’

  Mia folded her arms across her chest. ‘I didn’t think so. How about you tell us the truth now?’

  Riley’s jaw clenched. She didn’t know how, but Mia could always tell when she was lying.

  ‘I drank some vodka as well as the beer and then I tripped and that’s it.’ Riley put her hands up. ‘I know I’m grounded for ever so you don’t have to go off on one.’

  Mia leaned over the bed. ‘I’m not going to “go off on one”, but I am incredibly disappointed in you for disobeying me and your dad, for getting drunk and injuring yourself. You made some really bad decisions tonight, Riley, and, yes, there will be consequences, serious ones.’

  Riley looked to her dad for help. Johnny shook his head. ‘We asked you not to drink, you lied, and now you’ve hurt yourself into the bargain. Not cool, Riley.’

  Riley began to cry. Her mother was always annoyed with her and on her case about something, but her dad was her ally. She’d really blown it this time. Still, who cared if her parents locked her up for ever? She never wanted to leave her room again anyway. Zach had hurt and shamed her publicly, and she’d made a complete fool of herself. She was a total loser.

  ‘Hey, now.’ Johnny sat beside her on the bed and put his arm around her. ‘It’ll be all right. Let’s get you home.’

  Mia was signing the release form when she felt a tug on her arm. It was Shocko.

  ‘Can I talk to you for a sec?’

  Mia just wanted to get Riley out of the hospital and home to bed. She was exhausted, upset and really angry with her daughter. She was only fifteen – how could she get so drunk that she’d fallen over? What if she’d hit the side of her head and died? What if she’d swallowed her own vomit and choked to death? What if she’d ended up alone with a boy and done something she regretted? What if, what if … Life was so complicated and there was danger everywhere for teens, these days.

  Riley was so bloody difficult. Why couldn’t she just study, go out and drink Coke and stop being so angry and hostile? Where was the little dark-haired angel who used to throw her chubby arms around Mia’s neck and kiss her face and say, ‘I dove you, Mummy,’ over and over? Mia closed her eyes. She missed that Riley so much it hurt.

  ‘Mia?’

  She opened her eyes. ‘Sorry, Shocko, what is it?’

  Shocko fidgeted with his skull-head ring. ‘So, like, I know you’re pissed with Riley and all.’

  ‘Annoyed.’

  ‘Sorry, yeah, annoyed. But, like, she had a really good excuse to get drunk.’

  Mia blinked, what in the name of God was he talking about? She was fond of Shocko, who was a sweet boy and had been a good friend to Riley. They’d become pals three years ago when he’d moved in next door, and Mia had had her doubts. Shocko was the kind of boy who liked to sit inside all day and play video games or draw comic books. She’d have preferred Riley to choose a sporty, outdoorsy best friend, but Shocko was a nice kid. He had a big heart and Mia had seen how he could boost Riley’s confidence and make her laugh. He had Riley’s back, and Mia was grateful to him for that.

  ‘Shocko, please explain to me what could be a good reason for my fifteen-year-old daughter to get staggering drunk?’

  ‘So, like, she was seeing this guy, right? I can’t tell you his name cos she’d kill me so let’s just call him “Kevin”.’

  Mia had no idea Riley had been seeing anyone but she was too embarrassed to admit she had no clue about her daughter’s life so she just nodded.

  ‘Well, she really likes him. I dunno why, to be honest, he’s not so great, but anyway … So, tonight “Kevin” was all over Zoë, right?’

  ‘Is that Zoë Karsdale, the hurdler?’

  ‘Yeah. She’s good at jumping over hurdles but, whatever, she’s a total douchebag.’

  ‘Douchebag?’

  ‘You know, all, like, dyed hair and big white teeth and sporty and bouncy and fake.’

  Since when had having white teeth and being sporty become a bad thing? Mia let it go. She wanted to find out more. ‘So what happened?’

  ‘“Kevin” was all touchy-feely with Zoë in front of Riley, which shows a total lack of respect and also it was, like, really humiliating for Riley cos everyone knows she was with him until last week. But then “Kevin” was all cold with her, like she’d done something wrong, which Riley says she didn’t.’

  ‘Poor Riley.’

  ‘I know, right? Riley is crushed but pretending she’s not – you know how she is. So she starts hitting the vodka big-time. I’m like, “Dude, drink some H2O,” but she’s having none of it because she’s watching her boy all over another girl. And then she goes all Hulk Hogan and starts shouting at him and calling him a … well, bad names, and then she throws her drink over him, but she trips and falls and then it’s all major drama because there’s blood and … Well, that’s how she ended up here.’

  Mia knew it was childish but she was proud of Riley for throwing a drink over ‘Kevin’. How dare he treat her like that and humiliate her in public, the little shit? Still, though, getting plastered and making a spectacle of yourself was not the right way to go about it. But she understood why Riley had done it. At least there was a valid reason for her actions. She’d love to get her hands on ‘Kevin’. How dare he hurt her daughter, how bloody dare he?

  ‘So I know you’re all furious with her drinking and stuff, but don’t go too Hulk Hogan on her because she’s had a really rough night.’

  Mia smiled. ‘I promise not to go Hulk Hogan on her. Thank you for telling me. You’re a good friend, and she’s lucky to have you. Thanks for bringing her to hospital and for calling us. I really appreciate it, and I know Riley does too.’

  Shocko shrugged. ‘It’s no big deal. She’d do the same for me. But you absolutely cannot tell her I told you about the ex-boyfriend because she’d kill me. Seriously, I’m dead meat if she finds out I spilled the beans.’

  Mia placed her hand on Shocko’s shoulder. ‘I promise I won’t break your trust. But by the sound of it, she’s well rid of this boy.’

  ‘I think so.’

  ‘She deserves a lot better.’

  ‘Damn straight.’

  ‘Right. Let’s get you kids home.’

  Mia and Shocko walked back to Riley’s cubicle.

  ‘Let’s go,’ Mia said. ‘We’ll pick up some McDonald’s for you two on the way home. You must be starving.’

  Johnny looked surprised, and Riley’s mouth hung open in an expression of pure shock.

  ‘Is this a wind-up? I presumed I was going to be locked away in a dungeon for ever,’ Riley said.

  ‘Oh, you’ll be locked away all right, but I’m not going to starve you.’ Mia grinned and pushed Riley’s hair back. ‘I love you too much for that.’

  Riley pushed her hair forward again, but she almost smiled.

  8

  Sarah was mopping the kitchen tiles when the doorbell rang. She glanced at her watch. Two o’clock. Maybe it was another delivery. Adam had been sending her bouquets for the last four days since she’d told him about the baby. She was running out of vases, but it was nice that he was making an effort. Plus he’d been home for dinner two out of the four nights, which was an improvement.

  She put down her mop and went along the hall to open the door. It was Riley. She was in her school uniform, her rucksack slung over her shoulder.

  ‘Hi, is everything OK?’

  Riley never called in during the day. Sarah was worried.

  Riley shook her head and began to cry.

  ‘Is it Mia? Johnny?’

  ‘No,’ Riley sobbed. ‘It’s me.’

  ‘Oh, you poor thing, come in.’ Sarah guided her into the kitchen and sat her up at the counter. ‘Would a hot chocolate and a brownie help?’

  Riley nodded.

  Sarah busied herself microwaving the milk and mixing in the chocolate powder, while Riley’s sobs subsided, then handed her the steaming m
ug and put a plate with a homemade brownie beside her. Riley took a sip and a bite and sighed. ‘I wish I lived here. It’s always so peaceful and calm and, I dunno, nice.’

  Sarah wiped the counter and put the cloth in the box under the sink. She moved around and sat opposite her niece. ‘It’s not always calm, I can assure you. Now talk to me.’

  Riley filled her in on the party, falling over, the concussion and the hospital fiasco. ‘I’m the big joke in school. Everyone is talking about what a fool I made of myself. Mum’s gone mental and grounded me pretty much for life.’

  Yikes, Sarah thought. This was not good. Riley should not have been drinking, certainly not getting paralytic and falling over. But she couldn’t help feeling sorry for her: she’d been dumped and humiliated. ‘Oh, Riley, that sounds like a total nightmare. You know, I was bullied a bit in school so I do understand a little of what you’re going through.’

  ‘Mum told me, but I just can’t imagine anyone bullying you. You’re so cool and nice.’

  Sarah laughed. ‘Flatterer! It was in my last year of school, so it wasn’t too bad. I had just a few months to put up with it. But I remember how long and lonely the days were. The best thing to do is ignore people and their comments. It’ll pass – it’ll be yesterday’s news soon. Someone else will do something and the attention will move to them. You just need to brave it out. If you act like you don’t care, people will stop talking about it.’

  ‘I’m trying, but it’s hard. I see Zach every day in school and stupid bloody Zoë.’

  ‘I can imagine that’s really difficult. But on the drinking thing, please tell me that you’ve learned your lesson and won’t drink again.’

  Riley dabbed some brownie crumbs on her finger and licked them off. ‘I’ll never drink again. I’ve never felt so sick in my life.’

  Sarah smiled. ‘At least that’s one positive to come out of the mess. Look, Riley, I know you like him, but maybe Zach isn’t for you. Maybe this needed to happen so you could see that he’s not such a great guy.’

  ‘No, he is great,’ Riley said. ‘Honestly, he’s so nice and – and he made me feel really special and said all these amazing things about me and … Well, it was kind of magic.’

  Sarah rubbed her temple. Her headache was back again. ‘I’m glad he made you feel good about yourself because a boyfriend should always make you feel that way. Besides, you are amazing. But there are lots of other nice boys out there.’

  Riley chewed her thumbnail. ‘Not like Zach. I know he and Zoë are wrong – I just know it. I’m not like one of those delusional girls who thinks someone way out of their league will fancy them. I’ve been with Zach and we work well together.’

  ‘Maybe he’ll get sick of Zoë soon and break up with her.’

  ‘Yeah, but even if he does, we’ll never get together. I might as well join a convent because I’ve basically been locked up until I’m eighteen. Mum is being such a cow. She keeps saying, “I never should have let Sarah talk me into letting you go to that party.”’

  Oh, great. Now Sarah was in trouble, too. Still, she wasn’t surprised that Mia had flipped out. She wouldn’t be too happy if Izzy ended up in hospital drunk out of her mind at fifteen. ‘Look, Riley, you need to be on your best behaviour for a few weeks. Let your mum cool down. It’s understandable that she’s cross with you.’

  ‘Isn’t losing Zach and making a complete fool of myself punishment enough?’ Riley’s eyes filled with tears. ‘I don’t need Mum going on about it all the time.’

  Sarah reached over and patted her hand. ‘As parents we worry. It’s our job to keep you safe from harm. Mia’s probably just really concerned about you and about what happened. You have to understand it from her point of view. She got a call in the middle of the night to say you were unconscious in hospital. No mother wants to get a call like that.’

  Riley shrugged her shoulders. ‘I guess so.’

  ‘You gave her a fright. Give her some time. It only happened five days ago.’

  ‘If she mentions it to you, will you please try to put my side across? I was devastated. I didn’t mean to get drunk – I was just so miserable.’

  ‘I’ll try, but you have to be patient, Riley. It’ll probably take Mia a while to get over this.’

  ‘I feel like such a loser.’ Riley wiped a tear away.

  Sarah stood up and put her arms around her. ‘You’re not a loser. You’re wonderful, smart and gorgeous, and any boy would be lucky to go out with you. Don’t settle for second best. You deserve a great guy who puts you on a pedestal. Being a teenager can be really hard, but being a parent can be hard too. Mia loves you so much, she just wants the best for you.’

  ‘She’s got a weird way of showing it. She’s on my back all the time, telling me I need to study harder, get better results, stop going out, eat healthier, clean my room – she never stops.’

  Sarah knew how much strain Mia was under. She wanted Riley to go easy on her mother. ‘She doesn’t mean to be on your back, but she needs you to help her out, Riley. Please try. Mia has a lot on her plate with your dad out of work, and when we mums are worried, we can all be a bit short-tempered. I really think that if you try to react less, and not push back against her all the time, things would be easier. Will you try? Please?’

  Riley finished the brownie. ‘OK, but when you’re talking to her, will you please ask her to lay off me? I’m stressed about Dad, too, and I’ve just had my heart smashed into pieces.’

  Sarah smiled inwardly. Riley was so like Mia. Her sister had been the exact same at that age: she’d felt things so acutely. Her emotions and reactions were always strong, no matter what the situation. Riley was her doppelgänger. But her poor niece needed reassurance. ‘Of course I’ll talk to Mia, love. And don’t let any boy ever crush your spirit. You’re really wonderful, Riley.’

  Riley got up from her stool and hugged her aunt. ‘Thanks. You’re the best. I’d better go. I snuck out of school early to come and see you. Don’t worry,’ she said quickly, as Sarah opened her mouth to say something. ‘I only missed hockey, which I hate. But don’t tell Mum – it’ll just give her something else to freak out about.’

  As Sarah waved her off she prayed that Izzy’s teenage years would be less dramatic.

  Mia sat at the table in her sister’s lovely, sunny kitchen. Sarah always had fresh flowers in a vase on the table while the counters were always clean and uncluttered. Mia’s kitchen was full of newspapers, bills and Riley’s books. Jackets were slung over chairs, shoes were kicked off in the corner … It was always messy. Sarah’s house was spotless. It was such a relaxing space to be in.

  Sarah came over and handed Mia a glass of wine. She sat opposite her, a cup of herbal tea in her hand.

  ‘It feels a bit strange drinking alone,’ Mia said. ‘I feel like someone with a problem.’

  Sarah laughed. ‘It’s Friday, you’ve had a long week, and you deserve it. Believe me, if I wasn’t pregnant, I’d be joining you.’

  Mia raised her glass. ‘Well, cheers.’ She savoured the wine as it slipped down her throat and felt herself begin to unwind.

  ‘So, how’s Riley?’

  Mia put her glass down. ‘Riley is being Riley but worse. She’s her usual teenage self, plus heartbreak plus public humiliation plus rage at being grounded. I’m kind of avoiding her, to be honest. Johnny’s tried talking to her, but she’s like a bear.’

  ‘Ah, the poor thing. She’s had a rotten time. Can you imagine the hurt and embarrassment she must be feeling? There’s nothing worse than seeing your ex with someone else.’

  ‘I feel really sorry for her, but she won’t talk to me about it so I can’t help. I’ve tried broaching the subject from all angles, but she just freaks out and runs to her room. At least she’s got Shocko.’

  Sarah smiled. ‘He seems like a nice kid. I always think he’s a bit in love with Riley.’

  ‘Yeah, maybe, but they’re just pals. He’s such a good friend. She talks to him, so at least she has an outlet
for her angst. She’s also been playing that song “I Hate U, I Love U” on repeat for a week. I’m going nuts.’

  Sarah laughed. ‘God, do you remember the days of playing soppy break-up songs to get over guys? Mine was Justin Timberlake’s “Cry Me A River”.’

  Mia giggled. ‘You must have played that a million times. Remember Mum coming in and begging you to find “a different bloody break-up song”?’

  The two sisters laughed at the memory.

  ‘I suppose it’s a rite of passage. Hopefully she’ll start playing some slightly more cheerful music soon,’ Mia said, taking another sip of the delicious wine.

  ‘She will. But go easy on her. She’s crushed.’

  Mia bristled. She didn’t need to be told what to do about Riley. Her daughter had to grasp the consequences of her actions. Otherwise, she’d just do it again. Sarah didn’t understand because she didn’t have a teenager. ‘I can hardly ignore the drinking and ending up in hospital.’

  Sarah held up her hands. ‘No, of course not. But don’t ground her for too long. It’ll just make her more unhappy. Remember when Mum grounded you for a month because you came home drunk? You went mad.’

  Yes, Mia did remember, but she’d been seventeen and tipsy, not out-of-her-mind drunk, like Riley. And what if it happened again and Riley was taken advantage of by some boy? Anything can happen when you’re that drunk. Mia was scared for her daughter.

  She didn’t want to talk about Riley any more. She had thought of nothing else all week and had barely slept. ‘I’ll think about reducing her grounding. Have you seen Dad?’

  ‘Yes, we went for a walk and had a chat about Olivia yesterday.’

  ‘And?’

  Sarah shrugged. ‘He’s happy. He really likes her and the companionship. He said Olivia makes his life better, happier and fuller. He said he hates being on his own. He wants to marry her and live with her.’