You & Me: The Complete Series (3 Book Boxset)

by Lisa Shelby

  My mom comes over and gives me a hug with a little extra squeeze and says, “You all good, Emmers?”

  “I’m good, mom. How are you?”

  “Nice try girly, but I know what I saw when I interrupted you in that kitchen. Ireland is fine with Mickey and everybody inside. Why don’t you and I go chat?”

  As she releases me from my hug, she puts her arm through mine and starts walking me off the back deck and to a little bench at the rear of the yard. It faces away from the house, but towards the beautiful view of Mt. Hood. She knows that nobody can hear us out here and there is privacy. She’s so going to get me to talk. I always tell her everything in the end anyway, but I’m not sure I’m ready to talk about this.

  “It wasn’t anything mom, nothing worth talking about.”

  “Well, by the look on your face when I walked in, and his while he helped me bring the food in, I would say there was a whole lot more than just nothing going on.”

  Moms…how do they know everything? I think it’s a gift and a curse but nonetheless their ability to know all is a real thing!

  “Oh mom, it’s a long story.”

  “I’m not going anywhere, sugar, and I am very interested in knowing how there is a long story about you and Jonathan when you just met.”

  “We didn’t just meet, mom,” I sigh before continuing. “Remember when I told you the story about my trip to San Clemente and the whirlwind romance I had, but it was the week after I found out I was pregnant, so I walked away?”

  “Emily, no…It can’t be…Jonathan is…he’s…he’s your Georgia, and you’re his Gracie?”

  As the tears start to fall, my mom puts her arm around me and just lets me cry.

  “Well, it sounds like you remember that story.”

  “Of course I do, you were devastated. You fell in love with him and if I remember correctly, he was head over heels in love with you.”

  “Mom, there was never anybody before him or after him that has even compared. I was so scared and I ruined everything before it even got going.”

  “Honey, he was leaving to go overseas, and you were scared and confused about what your future held. You did what you thought you had to do.”

  “I know, but still. There are so many ‘what ifs’ going through my mind. Seeing him play with Ireland earlier nearly killed me. She just instantly took to him and he’s so good with her. Who knows if he would have wanted me back then if I had told him, but if he had…mom, Ireland’s life would be so much better having him in it.”

  “And yours?”

  “And mine. He told me today that he wanted to get to know me again. That he wanted to get to know Ireland. That he wanted us to try again.”

  “And what did you say?”

  “I told him I didn’t know if I could be more than friends with everything I had going on. And that Ireland comes first. He said if that was all I could give him, he would take it. But he agreed to one week before and it wasn’t enough for him. What if he can’t just be friends?”

  “Do you still feel the same after all this time?”

  “You mean do I still love him?”

  She just nods her head and I nod back my answer. Saying it out loud isn’t an option. We sit on the bench, on this beautiful day and look at our amazing view in silence. As I sit there, the reality that the love of my life is in that house with my daughter and my brother and knows my mother stabs me in the heart. A man I never thought I would see again is right here, right now and wants to try again, and I turned him away. Again. This is not how I imagined things going.

  “Listen, I’ve gotten to know him here and there and he does seem like a nice guy. He is certainly a looker, but more than that he’s a good man from what I can tell. He’s been through a lot and seems a little closed off though. Be careful, but don’t push him away. Take it slow for yourself and for Ireland, but don’t hold yourself back from love. I know you won’t let yourself say it out loud, but you still love him. It’s obvious. Sweetie, you don’t need to conquer this world alone. You will still be just as strong as you are today if you let somebody walk beside you. You, more than most, deserve to be loved and cared for. If he’s offering to walk beside you maybe you should think about letting him. He didn’t ask you to marry him, he just asked you to try. Ireland is gonna be five before you know it and you’ve been on your own since the day she was born.”

  I try to protest and tell her that I’ve had my family and friends beside me all this time, but she doesn’t let me.

  “Don’t Emily. I know you’re going to say that you have had Cami, Alex, all your other friends and Mick and me, but that’s not the same as having a partner. You’re still doing this on your own and have been since day one. I hope you know how proud I am of you.”

  “Thanks mom, for everything.”

  “Honey, I’m always here for you and I am just so glad that both my girls are here, where they belong. I hope you know that if you ask me to help you in any way it is never a burden. Never. I will help you with Ireland any time I can and don’t feel bad about it either, understood?”

  “Understood.”

  I wipe my face, take a deep breath, and figure it’s time to go rescue Mick from Ireland. Mom and I are walking arm and arm again across the big green yard when she stops and turns me towards her and looks me in the eye, making sure she has my attention.

  “He’s not your father, honey. I know that your father and I were poor examples of how a real relationship should be, but honey, it can be great when you find that one special person. It can be so much more than you ever dreamed of. Think about it, get settled, take it slow and then maybe, just maybe, let him in again when you’re ready. If not, you might regret it the rest of your life and you don’t do regrets, if I am not mistaken?”

  She gives me a wink and leads me back inside.

  When we reach the family room Ireland is passed out on Mick, Cami is now sitting on the love seat in deep conversation with Jonathan, and Courtney is nowhere in sight. This I can live with.

  I say goodbye to my mom and I go and gently peel my sweaty little baby girl off of her big softie of an uncle. I make my way through the room and can feel the stares coming from the direction of the love seat. As I carry the second love of my life to her bed I try to take in the words my mom just shared with me about letting him in, but as I hold her in my arms I can’t help but think of her getting hurt in the process. What if she gets attached and he leaves? Not only would it break my heart, but hers too. It’s one thing to risk my heart but another to risk hers.

  I purposely take a little longer than needed in her room covering her up and arranging her stuffed animals all around her before joining everybody back in the family room. There aren’t any available seats, so I go sit on the floor in front of Cami’s spot on the love seat so her legs are on either side of me. She gives my ponytail a tug and tips my head back to look at her and asks if I want her seat, but I tell her I’m good on the floor. I can feel his intoxicating buzz just fine from here thanks. I certainly don’t need to be any closer.

  Luckily it’s already the 2nd half of the game because this is hella uncomfortable. The three of us stationed over here at the love seat are awkwardly silent while everybody else is throwing shade at each other and properly cheering and screaming at the TV.

  With about ten minutes left in the game the Seahawks score a touchdown and the room goes crazy. Shortly after this outburst I hear the familiar whimper of, “Momma.”

  “Baby girl is awake. Be back peeps,” I say to whoever may be listening but to nobody specific.

  “Let me go with you. I’m gonna head out in a few and I wanna say goodbye to that beautiful goddaughter of mine before I do.”

  Cami and I step inside Ireland’s new room and she shuts the door behind us.

  “Did you have a good nap, little lady?”

  “I did, momma, but I’s hot.”

  Her cheeks are bright red from being too warm.

  “Well, you do have a bunch of stuftie
s and blankets on you, no wonder. Come on let’s get you out of there and brush that hair of yours.”

  As I get Ireland up and grab her brush from the nightstand, I finally look over at Cami who is standing with her arms crossed in front of her, tapping her foot and looking like she’s waiting for something.

  “What?”

  “Just friends? You friend-zoned him?” she hisses at me with her hands on her hips. I feel like I’m being scolded and she’s about to ground me.

  “It’s not so simple, Cam. I have a lot going on and seeing him with…” I nod my head towards my little girl. “There are two of us who will be hurt when Courtney or somebody else comes along and gets in the way. I can’t do that to either of us Cam.”

  “No regrets. Live today like it’s your last and along the way kick some a…butt. That’s all I have to say, Em.”

  With this reminder of how we always vowed to live our lives Cami leaves. It’s not like her to just leave like that. She’s genuinely pissed at me and my decision making.

  “Mommy, what’s regrets?”

  “Oh baby, it just means not to ever do anything you might look back on when your older and wish you hadn’t done it.”

  “Do you have any of those mommy?”

  “I didn’t think I did, baby girl, but I might be changing my mind. Let’s get you up and go see who’s still here.”

  When we get back out to the game it’s over and the Seahawks have lost 31 to 34. Mickey seems upset and I’m sure has lost a bet or two today. He sees Ireland though and he can’t help the smile that takes over his face.

  “How was your nap, I? Come see me. I need a kiss to cheer me up.”

  “Why you sad, Uncle Mick?”

  “The Seahawks lost and that means your mommy was right. I’m always sad when your mommy is right and I’m wrong. Now give me that kiss.”

  I just roll my eyes at him. She runs over to where he’s standing and he picks her up and turns his face so his cheek is exposed for her to kiss. She wraps her arms around his neck and gives him a soft little peck like she always does.

  Holding her tight but aiming his gaze at me he says, “See, I feel better already. Thanks for cheering me up. I’m so glad you’re here to take care of me and not all the way down in California.”

  I look at him and mouth, “Me too.”

  The crowd seems to have dispersed and only Emmett Martinez and Jonathan are left. Emmett is single and pretty hot, I must admit, but with Jonathan in the room nobody compares. When you take that handsome face, adorable dimples and warm eyes, not even Emmett can hold a candle to Jonathon. I can tell he’s struggling with how to handle wanting more but being friend-zoned. God, I am so stupid. I can’t believe I am friend-zoning this beautiful man. Forget that. He’s a beautiful person and for some reason I feel the need to keep hurting him over and over, and in the process hurting myself. Hopefully, I’m making the right decision because I already feel regret seeping in.

  “Well, I’m gonna go guys. See you at work, Martinez. Thanks for having me over, Mick. It was good to see you again, Ireland. Take good care of that Uncle of yours, he needs all the help he can get.”

  “Bye, Jonafon, see you later.”

  “Later Dude, thanks for coming over. The door is always open so come over anytime and stay safe out there.”

  “You too, Mick.”

  He puts his hands in his front pockets and on a little shrug he says, “Later, Emily.”

  “Bye, Jonathan.”

  He walks out the door and I feel cold. Just having him in the room warms me up in a way that I only get around him. Even when things are awkward…I would rather be awkward with him in the room than to not have him near. Shit! I messed up…again! I am so freaking stupid!

  “I’m gonna head out too. Emily let’s get that ride-a-long planned. You can come out whenever you want. I work the opposite side of the week than Mick, so you don’t have to worry about big brother annoying you all night. Just let me know and we’ll make it happen.”

  “I can’t wait. How about next Saturday?”

  “I’ll be there so if it works for you it works for me. I work seven to seven thirty. You can meet me there about fifteen minutes before roll call so we can get you a vest and sign the paperwork.”

  “I just need to be sure that night works for my mom so that Ireland can sleep over at her place, but it sounds like a plan. Let’s just plan on me seeing you there at six forty-five.”

  Mickey’s big bother instincts take over.

  “Em, I don’t know why you want to do this so bad, but if you insist on going you do everything Emmett tells you to and Emmett…you let anything happen to my baby sister, and I’ll rip your balls off and shove them down your throat.”

  Completely unfazed by Mick he says, “Understood, Mick. See you next Saturday, Emily.”

  I know the moment he gives me the smile that goes along with his see you next Saturday line that he just made a big mistake.

  “Oh and Emmett…keep your fucking hands to yourself.”

  Poor Emmett.

  “Got it, Mick. You don’t have anything to worry about. See you guys later.”

  Once we’re alone I finally head to the kitchen to get Ireland her juice. Once she has her sippy cup and Mickey’s iPad she heads back to the family room, plops herself on the couch and starts watching a movie. Mick and I start cleaning up and once we’re out of Ireland’s earshot, I have to reel my big brother in.

  “Mickey, I appreciate you wanting to protect me, but if you are so worried about me going on a ride-a-long with Emmett then why won’t you take me yourself?”

  “Emmers, your safety is too important to me and I know that if you were with me I would only be thinking about you and your safety and I might not be focused on the job. I have to be focused on my job. I have to be alert and at the top of my game at all times and if anything happened out there because I wasn’t focused, well…I just couldn’t live with that.”

  “I get it, Mick but be nice to Emmett. It’s not like we’re going on a date or anything.”

  “Well, I need him focused too, so if he knows that you are off limits that may keep you safer. I just need you and Emmett to come home at the end of the night.”

  “Okay.”

  He uses his arms to hop up on the kitchen counter and I can tell he wants to talk, so I do the same on the opposite counter, so we’re directly across from one another.

  “Emmers, is something going on between you and Kelly?”

  Shit! Mickey cannot know about me and Jonathan. He would lose his shit!

  “Nope, wasn’t he here with Courtney?”

  “Em, Courtney is the ultimate badge bunny. You look up the term in the dictionary and it will be her picture staring back at you. She wasn’t even invited today and somehow she knew people would be here and she just showed up. That’s what she does.”

  “They seemed pretty comfortable together.”

  “Well, I know he isn’t interested in her. I think he got drunk once and ended up doing the walk of shame from her place, but trust me, that’s happened to many of us. Soon enough she’ll find that one cop dumb enough to actually want something from her, and she’ll get that ring on her finger. But it won’t be me, or Kelly, I can tell you that. Besides, Jonathan seemed a bit distracted by something else today.”

  “What was that?”

  “That would be you and Ireland.”

  “Whatever, Mickey. You don’t know what you’re talking about. He was talking to Cami too.”

  “I saw that, but it wasn’t the same thing. Emmers, you know that I would really prefer you not date one of my friends and especially not a cop. It’s not that cops are bad guys; it’s just a stressful life. I know you know this and I don’t have to tell you. We both grew up in that life but it’s not what I would wish for you. And Jonathan…he’s a really good guy and the type of guy I would approve of but he’s a cop and a friend. I’m not telling you who you can or can’t date but just be careful and know that if you
do go out with him, and it doesn’t work, he will probably still be around.”

  “Thanks, Mick. But I don’t think you have to worry about that,” I say swinging my legs back and forth like a little kid up here on my countertop perch.

  “Em, I know dad reached out to you and you didn’t call him back. How long are you gonna shut him out?”

  “So, you’re talking to dad?” I ask incredulously.

  “Yep, he’s my dad. He fucked up and hurt mom and left us, but he knows he let us down and he really is trying. He would really love to meet I.”

  “I just don’t know how you are able to forgive him so easily. He didn’t make an effort until he knew I was back here and it would be easy. He never made an effort to come meet his granddaughter when we were in California. Why does it always have to be what he wants and what’s easy for him?”

  “I don’t know, Em, and you don’t have to see him if you don’t want to. Wait until you’re ready, but it might be nice for Ireland to have another grandparent in her life. And even though I know you don’t want to talk about…she does have another aunt in her life too. Just think about it.”

  “I’ll think about it but I am not making any promises, Mick,” I snap.

  “I get it. So, how are you and I settling in? Do you need anything?”

  “Is her name so long that you can’t say the whole thing, Mick? You can really only bring yourself to speak one letter of her name?”

  “Shut up, that’s my name for her. Deal with it. Now, answer me. Do you need anything?”

  “Nope, everything is great. Mick, I know I’ve thanked you but I hope you know how much I appreciate everything you’re doing for me and Ireland. Who would have thought when we were kids that you would turn out to be such a great guy? Don’t get me wrong you still annoy the hell out of me, but Mick, I couldn’t do this without you right now. So thank you. Another thing…it is really strange to talk to you about dating, but you’re a really great guy and whatever woman out there finally ties you down will be lucky to have you. I’m here anytime you want to talk about your dating life too, you know.”