You & Me: The Complete Series (3 Book Boxset)

by Lisa Shelby

  Alone for the first time all day, I take advantage of the quiet moment and pull her into my arms and capture her lips with my own. I kiss her as tenderly as I can, doing my best not to go too far, because unfortunately, Liam is right. I do have to sleep on the couch. Pulling my lips from her kills me, but it must be done. I take her beautiful face in my hands and say, “Thank you so much for coming here and leaving your family on your first Thanksgiving home. I know it’s also your first in Portland since Ireland was born. I hope you know how much it means to me.”

  “Jonathan, they’re amazing and I’m really glad Ireland and I got to come and meet them. I still feel bad about the cost of the last minute plane tickets though. It’s way too much and I wish that I could pay you back.”

  “Baby, having you here with them is worth every penny. It’s important that you get to know what little bit of family I have left. They’re important to me. You and Ireland are important to me. It means so much to have you all together. Thank you for giving me this.”

  “Ah honey, thank you right back. I don’t want to be anywhere else. As long as I have you and my baby girl in there, I’m right where I need to be.”

  It’s amazing how far she’s come, and how open she is with her feelings since the shooting. It feels good to know that I was the one that was able to break down her walls. That she trusts me enough to be this open and to tell me how she feels. I will never take for granted how much it means for her to give me that.

  She starts to lead me down the hall and we stop outside the guest room. It feels like I am dropping her off at her parent’s front door as I prepare to say goodnight to her. She leans against the wall next to the door and whispers. “Don’t I get a kiss goodnight?”

  I lean in and give her a kiss on the cheek and whisper in her ear. “Goodnight, Gracie.” Then I let go of her hand and walk backwards down the hall. She smiles and shakes her head slowly as if she finds me funny. I do catch her bringing her hand to her face where I left my kiss as she opens the bedroom door and closes it behind her.

  I swear to God there is nothing better than making that woman smile. Okay, there is one other thing…but making her smile is a damn close second.

  The next morning, I wake up to sounds in the kitchen. I look at the time on the cable box and it says that it’s only 5:54 in the morning. I can hear Fiona humming away while she prepares the turkey, and can’t be mad for being awake so early. I love the sounds of this house and the people in it.

  I throw the blanket back, stretch and yawn myself awake. I take a minute to put the couch back together and then head to the kitchen to see if I can give her a hand. I plan on stealing a cup of coffee while I’m at it.

  When I get to the kitchen, I see Robert is up too and pouring himself a cup. When he sees me, he hands me the full cup and then gets another for himself. We both head to the kitchen table and take a seat and a few sips before anybody says anything.

  “She’s a pretty great girl, Jonathan,” Robert says quietly so he doesn’t wake the rest of the house. He’s the only real dad I’ve ever known, and my heart swells with pride to hear him say this.

  “She is. I can’t believe I found her again,” I reply quietly as well.

  “It’s because she’s your soul mate, sweetie. I knew it the moment I laid eyes on the two of you together. It was meant to be,” Fiona says softly from the kitchen counter where she’s stuffing the turkey.

  “I know she is. She’s the one. I knew the first moment I laid eyes on her years ago in California. I’ve always known. There was nobody else for me after I met her.”

  “What are you gonna do about it, son?” Robert asks.

  “Well, she scares easily so I have to be careful. It’s all happened so fast and I don’t want to say too much, but I have some ideas. I love her and I love that little girl of hers. I never knew it could be like this. I know to the rest of the world this is fast, but to me, I feel like I’ve been waiting for years. I don’t want to waste another minute. I want us to be a family, and waiting until I think she’s ready is killing me. If I had my way we’d already be married, but I’m scared to even say the “M” word around her. I just don’t know how she feels about marriage after what she went through with her parents.”

  “Well, you need to talk to her and feel out the situation, son. You never know. She might just surprise you,” Robert says with one of his famous winks.

  “He’s right. When you meet the one you were meant to be with things change, and ideas you always had about how life should go fall to the wayside. When love takes over, there isn’t a wrong or right timeline. Just go slow enough for her, but not so slow that it kills you. You know her better than anybody. You’ll figure it out,” Fiona says while working her magic on our Thanksgiving Day feast.

  “Thank you both. It means a lot to me to have them here with us. I hope you know that.”

  “We do, son, and we’re happy to have them both here too. I hope to have them around for a long time to come,” Robert says and warms my heart in a way that only he can.

  “After we get our list of stuff done, I was thinking I would take the girls to meet mom. What do you think?”

  “Sweetheart, I think that is a beautiful idea. Why don’t you leave Ireland here though? She might still be just a little too young to understand all that. Besides, it will give you and Emily some alone time. We’d be happy to watch Ireland if Emily’s okay with it.”

  I get up, walk around the big kitchen island, give Fiona a kiss on the cheek. “Thank you. I don’t know what I would do without either of you. Liam I could do without, but you two I’ll keep.” I give Fiona a big grin and Robert one of his winks back to him, then head to the bathroom to change and go for a run before the girls are up. It may be November, but the weather here this early in the morning is already around sixty. Perfect weather for a run.

  When I get back, I hear the sweet voice of my little Princess coming from the kitchen. She’s sitting on a stool at the breakfast bar chatting Fiona’s ear off while she eats cereal in her pajamas. She is so freaking cute I can hardly stand it. This little girl has taken a hold of my heart and will not let go.

  She sees Fiona’s eyes flicker my way. She follows her gaze and spots me and yells, “Jonafon!” She points to the shirt of her pajama’s and says, “Gobble, gobble,” just like her shirt says.

  I kiss the top of her head and say, “Happy Thanksgiving to you too, Princess! Did you sleep good?”

  “I did. Too bad you had to sleep on the couch. Mommy and I have a comfy bed and got to snuggle.”

  “You have no idea how jealous of you I am, sweet girl. Speaking of your momma, where is she?”

  Ireland’s mouth is now full of sugary goodness so Fiona interjects. “She’s in the shower, honey. Can I get you anything for breakfast?”

  “Sure. I’ll have what she’s having,” I say as I take the seat next to Ireland at the breakfast bar.

  I hold Emily’s hand as we walk from Fiona’s car towards my mom. I don’t know why, but I feel nervous. I don’t know if it’s because I wonder if Emily will think this is all a bit strange? I mean it’s not every day your boyfriend takes you to a cemetery to introduce you to his dead mother, but this is important to me for some reason. The nerves could also be because I haven’t been back here in a couple of years. I have some guilt over that.

  I can see her headstone some distance before we get to it, and my emotions start to swell inside of me. Sadness over the loss of my mother. Guilt for being gone so long. Pride in Emily. And joy that I get to share my happiness with the one person who wanted it for me more than anybody else.

  We approach the graveside that reads:

  Caroline Joy Kelly

  Beloved mother, wife, sister and friend

  1965 - 2010

  “I’ll love you always and forever and wherever I may be.”

  I slow down and Emily squeezes my hand and asks. “Would you like some time by yourself first? I can go sit on that bench and you can come get me w
hen you’re ready if you want.”

  The love and support in her eyes is just want I need to calm my racing heart. I squeeze her hand back and say, “No, please stay. I’m kind of a mess right now and I’d like it if you stayed.”

  “I’d love to. Here, let’s get this cleaned up a bit,” she says as she releases my hand and walks towards mom’s headstone. She brushes away all of the leaves and other random pieces of nature that have landed on it. I think it’s her way to also give me a minute of space, even though I said I didn’t want it. She knows me so well.

  Once she’s finished, she takes the blanket that’s draped across my arm and spreads it out in front of us. She stands there with me waiting for me to make the move to sit. She’s leaving this all to me, and not forcing me to do anything I’m not ready to. She lightly rubs her hand up and down my back until I take two steps forward and sit down on the blanket. She joins me and sits next to me on my side, but turns her body so she is facing me.

  The blanket that Fiona sent with us was my mom’s favorite. It was a Christmas gift from me my senior year of high school. She uses her hands to flatten it so she can read it clearly, and I can see exactly when she notices the words on it.

  “Every night when I was little and she tucked me in to bed, my mom would whisper it to me. It was always a whisper or said into my ear when she hugged me goodbye. I had this blanket made for her my senior year. She loved it. It was in her will that we put these words on her headstone so that every time any of us came to visit, we would remember that she still loves us wherever she may be.”

  “I think that’s beautiful. Your mom sounds like she was a pretty amazing woman, honey.”

  I just nod in reply because I can’t speak. I can feel the emotion taking hold of me and I am not sure that I can keep it in any longer. Emily keeps her eyes trained on mine, and I swear she reaches all the way to the deepest parts of my soul with those eyes of hers. She can see that I’m barely hanging on. She reaches over and brushes her hand through my hair. “It’s okay to let it out, baby. I’m here. I’ll catch you. I’m. Right. Here.”

  Her words are all it takes to open up the flood gates and my unshed tears begin to fall. She pulls herself closer to me and quietly holds me while I cry. Once the tears start they just won’t stop. I’m no longer just crying, I’m sobbing, but she keeps holding on to me. Before I know it she has positioned us so that I’m now lying with my head in her lap and she is stroking my hair. She doesn’t say anything. She just comforts me with her love and her touch.

  “It’s been so hard for me to forgive you for not telling me you were sick, mom. You knew when I was home and you didn’t tell me. For the longest time I couldn’t understand how you could not tell me. I heard the reasons you gave, and they were never enough. But I finally figured it out. If you had done things differently, I probably wouldn’t have gone back to California. I wouldn’t have met my Gracie. As much as I wish I could have been there for you, Mom, thank you so much for sending me back to California and to the love of my life.”

  Feeling a little stronger, I raise myself up to sit cross legged on the blanket. Emily is facing me, but at an angle with her cheek on my shoulder, just letting me have my moment. I turn my head to look at her and she lifts her head so that her eyes meet mine, and I can see the tears that have just started to fall down her cheeks. She smiles at me and puts her head back down on my shoulder.

  “Mom, I found it. That love that you always said was out there waiting for me. I found it and I get it now. You were right, and when you know, you just know. I had to wait over five years to get her back, but she’s here Mom. And not only am I lucky enough to have found The One, but she has a beautiful little girl named Ireland. Emily and Ireland…they are what I’ve been missing, thank God they found me. You would love them both, and it really sucks that they don’t get to have you in their lives. You would have been the best Grandma, and I am so sorry you didn’t get to experience that.”

  I turn towards Emily’s head on my shoulder and can’t help myself when I take a small whiff. I love her smell and don’t think I will ever get enough of it. I feel her shoulders shake when she silently giggles at the move she catches me doing so often. I have no shame when it comes to her, and don’t care who knows it. Yes, I am that guy that has to sniff his girlfriend from time to time. So what?

  “Mom, these girls are everything to me. They are both kind, funny and beautiful. Emily is a bit, how should I say it? Independent. She has raised Ireland on her own all these years and Mom, she has done an amazing job. She’s the coolest kid I have ever met.” I turn so Emily knows my next words are more for her, even if I’m directing them to my mom. “Mom, I’m doing everything I can to let Emily see that it’s okay to let somebody take care of her for a change. I know she hates to lean on anybody but herself but I sure hope I can change that.”

  Emily places a sweet kiss to my forehead, she takes my face in her hands and those sky blue eyes of her search mine. “Jonathan, you’ve already broken down those walls. You have taught me to trust and to love and to let somebody else take care of me. You did that when nobody else could. I love you and I’m all in. I hope that we take care of each other for a very long time. You're my always and forever Jonathan.”

  “See Mom, she’s the one. She loves me just like you always dreamed somebody other than you would love me. Life doesn’t get much better than this, does it? The only thing missing is you. I miss you so much, Mom.”

  The tears are back but just tears, I’m able to keep it together this time around.

  “Watching the work that Emily puts into being a single parent has given me just a glimpse of how hard it had to have been for you day in and day out taking care of me on your own. Thank you, Mom. Thank you for giving me all the love and support a kid could ever need and for taking such great care of me. I never went without, and I see now how hard you worked to make that happen for me. I love you, mom, and I miss you every day.”

  I move us so that we’re now both lying on our backs with our faces pointed towards the sky, holding hands. No more words are spoken. Eventually, Emily rolls to her side and puts her head on my chest and her leg over mine and I pull her tight into my side. I swear this woman has done more for me and my sanity than any shrink will ever do. She gets me, and she gives me so much more than I can ever give back to her.

  Friday morning, the women brave the mall and all the Black Friday shoppers while the three of us men stay home, watch football and continue to recover from our food comas from the day before. I don’t know how the girls were all up and out the door at the butt crack of dawn this morning. It was like they didn’t have a care in the world while we were all still sleeping.

  I only know when they left because Emily came by my make shift bed and kissed me on the cheek and ran her hand through my hair before she left. I didn’t open my eyes, but I felt it all, and I had sweet dreams for the rest of the morning.

  Robert is in his recliner, Liam is hanging off of the love seat, and I’m sprawled out all over the couch when the girls come home hours later. It takes everything I have to pull my comatose ass up to a seated position to greet them. Ireland doesn’t give me much choice but to wake up as she runs over to me and jumps into my lap to tell me all about her day. A day that included lots of crazy people at the mall, lots of secret shopping for Christmas presents, lunch at Romano’s Macaroni Grill and her first pedicure. She takes off her shoes and socks and shows me her adorable little pink toenails and tells me how much it tickled. She had ‘so much fun’!

  “Sounds like you had a great day, Princess. What’s in the box?”

  She jumps off of my lap and grabs the box from the table. It’s over half her size and looks like a little house.

  “Mrs. Fanua and Kate got me an early birfday present, and it’s the best! We went to Build-A-Bear and I got to make my own stuftie, Jonafon! I got to pick the bear, and sprinkle all her stuffing with love and then help with the machine while she got stufted. Then, I got to pick an o
utfit for her. Wanna see?”

  “Of course I do. Let’s see whatcha got?”

  She’s talking so fast she can barely breathe and I can’t help but chuckle as she digs into the box.

  I look up at the girls and they’re all watching us with huge smiles on their faces. I figure out why a moment later when Ireland pulls out her stuftie. She’s a pink bear with white on the bottom of all four of her paws and she’s dressed in a police uniform. Once again this little girl has me in the palm of her hand, and is slowly melting my heart into a big pile of goo. I know she has Mick in her life too, but I still can’t put into words how it feels to see this damn bear.

  “Wow, Princess, I like her a lot. She’s a police bear huh?”

  “Yep, just like you and Uncle Mick. Pretty cool, right?”

  “The coolest,” I say mesmorized by this little girl and everything she makes me feel.

  “Tell him what you named her,” Emily says from across the room.

  “Oooh, you’ll like it, Jonafon! You know how mommy calls you Georgia after your state? Well, I named my bear Savannah after your city! Now she has a nickname like the rest of us! Do you like it?”

  What in the world is happening to me right now? I think you could knock me over with a feather. This little girl and her damn bear have just rocked my world. I am completely thrown off balance over a stuffed animal that happens to be named after me, and the big brown eyes that are looking up at me for approval.

  “Like it? I love it! I think that name is perfect, Princess.”

  She takes her bear, runs to the guest room and comes back with her stuffed Frank. She sits on the floor and starts introducing the two while she enters her own little world of make believe.

  I get up, walk over to Fiona and Kate, and thank them with hugs. They say it was nothing, and since her birthday is Tuesday and they won’t get to be there, it was the least they could do. While talking to them, I feel a hand on my back as Robert steps up next to me and says, “That right there, son is what it’s all about. You are a lucky man, if I do say so myself.”