by Lisa Shelby
I must admit, it makes me smile. Seeing sweet Gabe next to Liam, the gentle giant, is pretty cute.
Through a mouth full of nachos, Gabe exclaims, “Well, look who made it! Nice of you to join us, Cam.”
Waving my hellos to Joel and the rest of the gang, I take a seat in the over-stuffed chair next to the new BFFs.
“Sorry I’m late. I got stuck at a showing. I’m glad you didn’t wait for me and had all the food ordered, though. What would I do without you, Gabe?” I say, not waiting a single moment to dig into the nachos.
“Don’t look at me, your boy Liam over here did the ordering,” Gabe says, pointing his thumb toward Liam.
“Guilty as charged. Sorry, little lady. I was starving and didn’t want to miss happy hour. I heard you are a fan of fried pickles, so these were ordered especially for you,” he says, pushing the plate of my favorite bar food in front of me. “How did your showing go?”
How does he know that I love fried pickles? He ordered me food and is asking about my showing. He’s acting like we see each other every day and hanging out without Jonathan and Emily isn’t new.
Clearly, he is good with this friend thing and doesn’t hear his heart thunder through his ears every time he sees me the way mine does when I see him. I can’t help it. There’s no way a man like him wouldn’t have an effect on a woman.
I’m only human after all.
And without missing a beat after my arrival, easy conversation, basketball, food, drink, and laughter fill the next few hours. Everything is going great, and we’re all having a good time, but I can see Liam is on his way to being pretty dang drunk again. He is acting similar to the way he did on New Year’s Eve at Emily and Jonathan’s.
It was a fun night with our usual group, and we were all sipping our wine and having a great time, but Liam, of course, had to drink a little too much. We had the party tunes spinning, and when Tainted Love came on, that was all it took.
“Boogie buddy! Get over here!” he yells from across the room and holds his hand out for me to take.
“Boogie buddy?” Alex asks.
I just shrug my shoulders feeling as confused as she does.
“Cami, is my boogie buddy. We boogied to this song the night she took me to Embers. Get up here, little lady.”
When I don’t get up, he grabs my hand and pulls me to my feet. He spins me a couple of times and then starts dancing to his own beat. As big and hot as he is and as cute as this demonstration should be, I take a step back and let him do his own thing because it’s clear he’s drunk, and he’s making a bit of an ass of himself.
When he notices that I’m not dancing along, he waves me off. “Well, you’re no fun, Miss Holsted. Suit yourself.”
He continues to dance, and he sings the song in my direction until mercilessly it comes to an end, and then he’s off to the kitchen for another glass of wine. He’s a little tipsy when he returns, and after a few sideways glances from Devon and Jonathan, conversation resumes. Shortly after midnight, we all call it a night.
I know that he stayed the night and didn’t drive or need a DD, but I left thinking it was a bummer that a guy with so much to offer has to get so sloppy drunk every time he drinks.
And it looks like things are repeating themselves tonight.
Here we are again. It’s only eight o’clock, but Liam is starting to get loud. It doesn’t seem to bother Gabe, but Joel and I keep giving each other looks that say we know this can’t be good. I think Gabe is too infatuated with him to see that there may be a problem in the making.
Taking things into my own hands, I stand and put on my coat. “Hey, Liam, I’m parked in the direction of your place. Will you walk me to my car?”
“Yes, ma’am.” He stands and sways for a brief moment before he rights himself and grabs his coat.
I give Gabe a hug goodbye, and while I’m close to his ear, whisper, “Stop getting him so drunk every time you’re together. Now I have to get him home.”
“Sorry, Cam. I didn’t notice and that’s probably because I’m not too far from drunk either. My bad,” he says giving me a squeeze.
These two are clearly bad influences on each other.
Liam is waiting for me and looking very chivalrous with his hands in his coat pocket and his elbow sticking out waiting for me to take it. I put my arm through Liam’s and find myself guiding him out the front door. I lead him down the street and toward his loft in The Pearl.
He does stop a block into our walk, and I fear he might get sick. Instead, he stops, and his big body sways as he takes his coat off and holds it over my head to block out the rain that has just started to fall. Dang it, he’s three for three.
We don’t say much as we walk at a steady pace. I have a sneaking suspicion he is using all of his concentration to walk in a straight line while holding his coat over my head. Oh, the lengths he will go to keep his reputation as a southern gentleman intact. A few blocks later and we’re standing under the awning in front of his building. I know it’s none of my business, but I still have to ask.
“You okay, Liam?”
“Right as all this Portland rain, Cami.” A sexy smile stretches across his face.
Even when he’s three sheets to the wind, Liam can’t help but ooze charm and good manners. It’s too bad he acts like a college freshman who can’t hold his liquor.
“Okay, if you say so.” I pat him on his arm with one hand and unlink my other arm from his. “I’m here if you ever need to talk, Liam. I’m not just a boogie buddy, you know. I’m your friend too, and if you ever need anything at all just call.”
“You’re cool, Cami,” is all he says in reply.
Not sure how to take his comment, I turn to leave and wave over my shoulder. “See you later.”
“Later, Cami.”
He walks into his building, and I don’t know why, but I slow down to wait and watch to make sure he gets into the elevator. He may be drunk, but he seems more than capable of getting on an elevator on his own, but I still have a need to make sure he’s okay.
He doesn’t get on the elevator, though. Instead, he stops midway through the lobby and looks as though he’s forgotten something when he pats his back pocket to make sure his wallet is there. He turns around and makes his way back to the doors of his building and is coming back out to the street.
I start to panic and worry he may find me watching, but he turns the opposite direction from my place on the sidewalk, much to my relief.
Curious as to where he might be going in his state, I stand back and watch from my tiny covered spot in front of his building. I feel like such a creeper, but I can’t help but wonder what he’s up to.
I don’t have to wonder long when he crosses the street and makes a beeline for the row of food carts and stops at the Portland Soup Company. When they see him, they greet him as if they know him and exactly what he’s there to order. Clearly he is a regular.
I don’t know what I expected, but I’m glad all he is up to is a late-night snack.
He sure does have an appetite. I just spent the last two hours watching him devour appetizers, and here he is stopping for a late-night dinner at a food cart. He pays for his food, and then on somewhat unsteady feet, he makes his way back across the street in the rain that is soaking him to the bone.
I’m about to leave, but I notice he isn’t coming back to his building. Instead, he stops in a doorway just down from his, and I lose sight of him when he kneels down. I lean forward, out of the cover of the awning above me, and what I see melts my heart. Liam is kneeling in front of a man who appears to be sleeping in a small alcove of the building next door. He’s handing him the bag of food, and their speaking quietly. I can’t hear what they're saying, but the man takes his hand and shakes it appreciatively, and Liam slides down the wall across from the man and takes a seat on the concrete.
Even in his drunken state, he is still a kind and good man.
Once again this man surprises me. From the outside, he is a large, int
imidating force. When you get to know him, you see the silly and boisterous side to him…the side that makes everybody smile. But it seems there is yet another side to him. A side that he doesn’t need to show off to the rest of us because it is simply who he is.
He is fiercely loyal, silly, smart, kind, and good. So, why does he behave the way he does? Why does he drink to the point of making himself look like an ass after a night out with friends? I can’t help but worry about him.
I don’t want him to see me spying on him, so I turn to leave before he finds me here.
Rushing back to my car—that was actually parked right in front of the bar—I contemplate whether or not I should do what I’m about to do. I think it’s time, and as crappy as I feel doing it, I take out my phone and with my traitorous fingers, dial Jonathan.
“Hey, Cami, what’s up?”
“Hi, Jonathan, sorry to bother you. Do you have a sec?”
“Of course I do, but why do I have a feeling I’m going to wish I didn’t?”
“Well, I feel horrible calling you about this, and I know you aren’t his dad, but I’m worried about Liam.”
Silence is all I hear from the other end of the phone for a few seconds before Jonathan finally speaks.
“Shit, what did he do?”
“Well, he hasn’t really done anything. I’m just worried about his drinking.”
“You aren’t the only one.” He sighs into the line. “What’s got you concerned?”
“Well, tonight was the second time I’ve had to get him home after too many drinks. He’s a big guy, Jonathan. It takes a lot to get somebody his size drunk, but he does it and I think often. I know it’s none of my business, but is everything okay with him?”
I finally reach my car and crawl inside and away from the rain. I turn the car on and turn up the heat, but I don’t go anywhere.
“I’m not sure what’s going on to tell you the truth. I’ve noticed it too, but I thought that maybe it was the holidays and he just over-did it. I didn’t realize it had happened in public too. His dad told me to keep an eye on him when he moved out here. Now, I can’t help but wonder if this is what he was referring to?”
“I don’t know, Jonathan, but I worry that there might be something else going on. Something we’re all missing and he’s hiding it by drinking. You’re his best friend, and I just thought you should know.”
“He’s my brother, Cami. He’s family and you are the same to Emily and me. We would do anything for either one of you, and I really appreciate you calling. I’ll be sure to talk to him when the time is right.”
“Okay, whatever you feel is right. You know him better than anyone.”
“I do and thank you, Cam. Thanks for calling and thanks for making sure he got home.”
“No problem. Have a good night, Jonathan.”
“You too, Cam.”
I wonder what happened back home? I know it’s none of my business, but from what I’ve heard about Liam over the years, his behavior doesn’t seem to fit his character. Yes, he’s a playboy and gets around, but I don’t recall hearing about things like this. I can’t help but think there is something more at play here.
Chapter 5
Liam
“And that’s game, gentlemen! Devon, next round is on you!”
“Dude, you’re at my house, and J brought the beer, so I’m not sure what you’re talking about?”
“Come on, man. Don’t be a sore loser. I’m sorry your precious Blazers lost, but the Lakers are legendary. You can’t beat legends.”
“Liam, you are one lucky son-of-a-bitch, you know that. If you weren’t like family, I’d kick your ass out of this house right now. Those words are blasphemy to me and you know it!”
I do know that. Why else would I have said it? I couldn’t care less about the Lakers, but these Portlanders are serious about their love for their Blazers and the hate they feel to their very cores for the L.A. Lakers.
I stand up a little too quickly, and the air feels a bit thin up here at my height because I feel myself stumble a bit when I take my first steps toward the kitchen.
Damn, what is wrong with me?
We’re just drinking beer; I couldn’t be drunk.
Could I?
I’m thirty-two, not seventy-two. I find my bearings and try my best to glide into the kitchen, but things don’t feel all that level if I’m being honest. I grab three beers and join Devon and Jonathan back in the family room. I hand them their bottles before I plop my ass back on my spot on the couch.
Devon is in his chair, and J is on the other end of the couch. They aren’t saying a word. Things are starting to feel awkward, like I missed something in the sixty-seconds I took getting our beers.
Jonathan clears his throat but still doesn’t say anything. I can see him wiping his hands on his pants, like his palms are sweating or something.
What the hell did I miss?
“Dude, what’s going on? Did something happen while my head was in the fridge?”
He shifts in his seat and clears his throat again. “How are you doing, bud? Everything okay with you?”
So, I was right about the awkward vibe. This is about me. Did my comment about the Lakers really offend them that much?
“Uh, I’m all good, man. Why? Did I do something? Was the Laker comment really that offensive?”
Jonathan chuckles and they both speak simultaneously.
“No, that’s not it.”
“Yes, it was!”
Jonathan, rolls his eyes at Devon. “You know that I love you like a brother, and you know that I would never want to purposely piss you off, but dude, we’re worried about you…you and your drinking.”
A pulsing thud starts pounding through my brain at the words that my best friend has just said to me. Not just my best friend, but my brother.
Is he kidding me?
“What the fuck are you talking about? My drinking?”
Betrayed. I feel betrayed.
“Well, you seem to be drinking a lot, and you don’t typically stop before you get buzzed these days and a few of us are concerned, that’s all.” He shrugs his shoulders and acts like the words coming out of his mouth are no big deal.
“What exactly do you mean, a few of you? I only see two of you sitting here tonight. Is this some kind of mini-intervention or something?”
“No, it’s not an intervention,” Devon says. “We’re just looking out for you, man. We want to make sure you’re okay.”
“What D said, Liam. It seems like you have been hitting it pretty hard and drinking more than what’s normal. Man, you get plastered every time we’re together. I think you sleep on my couch more than you sleep in your own bed.”
I’m starting to get pissed. They aren’t my parents, and I am a grown-ass man who just wants to forget sometimes and to not feel less than on a daily basis. The pain that I wouldn’t have if it weren’t for Jonathan and his god-damned advice.
What I say next I wouldn’t normally say if I wasn’t already on my way to being shit-faced, but because I am on my way there, the words fall out.
“You know what, dude?” I say, turning my attention and venom at my best friend.
My brother.
“I get fucking drunk more than I should, I know that! The thing is all of this is because of you. I’m like this because of you, J. All fucking because of you!”
I can see the disbelief and confusion paint Jonathan’s face. “How the hell is your drinking my fault? What the hell are you talking about, Liam?”
Of course, he doesn’t know. I never told him. He was here in Portland, in love, and I followed his advice and failed. It’s not really his fault but it sure is easier to be mad at him and place all of this pent-up anger in his direction.
“You told me years ago, when you were visiting with your girl and all lovesick, to follow my heart and to fight for the girl I thought I loved. Well, I fought for her, and I had her for a while and it was great. Until it wasn’t. Not after she broke my h
eart, took a dump on it, and then did a fucking two-step all over it.”
I don’t know when I stood up and crossed the room, but I storm back to the couch and yell at Jonathan like I never have before and never want to again. Before I can control myself, I find I’m leaning over him and pointing my finger and all of my fury in his face. “I was fine before I took your advice. Besides, you aren’t my dad, so just back the fuck off. We can’t all be perfect like you, J.”
“I’m far from perfect, Liam,” Jonathan says, stunned. I think he got a little more than he expected from his little intervention. He doesn’t say another word but Devon does.
“Liam, this isn’t all on Jonathan. I’ve seen it and your dad and Cami are concerned too.”
Whoa.
I feel like a semi just landed on my chest, and I’m finding it a little hard to breath.
Lowering my voice and also my ass back down to the couch, I ask, “What do you mean Cami is concerned?”
Cami?
Cami is concerned about my drinking?
Cami is cool as shit, and I can feel my defenses lowering at the thought that she might have said something. I know it shouldn’t but it bothers me more that she’s worried about me than it does the guys worrying about me.
I look from Jonathan to Devon, and I can see they are both a little taken aback that after what has been said tonight, this is my biggest concern. To be honest, I’m a bit surprised by that too.
“Um…well, she called me the other night. Apparently, she said she had just walked you to your place because you had gotten drunk at happy hour, and she said it wasn’t the first time she had needed to make sure that you had gotten home safely. After your display at New Year’s, she was a little concerned. I could tell she felt bad calling but we’re all one big family, Liam. We take care of each other.”
Oh, my, God. I can’t believe I did this to Cami. She introduces me to her friends and I get plastered not once, but twice around them, and she has to get my lame ass home.
