by Lisa Shelby
I embarrassed her.
I feel terrible.
I know I should be worried about the fact that the guys and my dad are telling me to grow the hell up and chill on the drinking, but that isn’t what’s going through my mind. Cami is what is going through my mind. How old am I? What is wrong with me?
Tucking my tail between my legs, I let the anger subside and admit defeat.
“Listen, guys. I know I drink a bit too much. I have for the last two years. I know my parents have been worried, but since Hannah dumped my ass, I haven’t really been the same. I drink too much because I’m tired of feeling like a thirty-two-year-old loser with nothing to show for himself. I know this isn’t your fault, J. I know you have nothing to do with my drinking, but it’s so much easier to blame you than to admit that I’ve been drinking for all the wrong reasons, and I’ve been doing far too much of it. I hear what you guys are saying and I appreciate you both having the balls to talk to me about this. I know Portland is supposed to be a fresh start for me, and I’ll try to start taking better advantage of that.”
All I’m really thinking is Cami.
Cami being disappointed in me.
Cami being embarrassed by me.
How could I do this to her? I think this thought over and over again.
“Man, we just want what’s best for you, and we want you to know that we’re here. If you need to talk about Hannah or anything else, I’m here, Devon’s here. Hell, even Mick is here. If you don’t want to talk to us, talk to somebody.”
I suddenly feel extremely sober.
And embarrassed.
I need to get my shit together. I know I tell myself this all of the time, but this time I mean it.
“I’m sorry for all the drama, J. Thanks for caring. I mean it. I promise to get my shit together.”
“I know you will, Liam. This isn’t you. I know that.”
Jonathan stands and pulls his keys out of his pocket.
“Come on, let me drive you home. D, thanks for having us and next game is at my place.”
“Sounds good, man,” Devon replies to Jonathan but walks around him with a slap to the back. Once in front of me, he pulls me into a hug. “I don’t know what this girl did to you, but she isn’t worth it man. I know you’re going to pull your head out of your ass, but I sure hope you do it sooner than later, my friend. You have a big opportunity here, and I hate to see you squander it. I’m here if you need me.”
“Thanks, man. I’m pulling my head out of my ass right here and now. I appreciate your concern.”
I have to clear my throat as I walk toward the front door. It’s not often guys have to get this serious with one another. I hate that I’ve behaved in a way that these two men, whom I admire and respect, have had to come together to talk to me about my drinking.
“Thanks for having me, dude. See ya next time,” I say as I pull the door closed behind me.
“Hey, want to just stay in the spare room at my place so I don’t have to drive your ass all the way downtown and then come get you again in the morning so that we can drive back to get your car?”
“Yeah, man. That’s fine.”
Wow, my drinking is more than embarrassing, it’s a pain in my friend’s ass. I cannot believe how inconsiderate I’ve been. I’m sure I’ve ruined Jonathan’s night on more than one occasion, and clearly I’ve ruined Cami’s on two.
I am such a piece of shit.
“J, I am so sorry. I can see now what a pain in the ass I must have been to you recently, and I’m really sorry if I’ve embarrassed you or your family in any way.”
“Liam, you haven’t embarrassed me. You are a pain in my ass, but you have been my whole life, so that’s not anything new. I just want you to know that if you need to talk about Hannah or anything else that’s bothering you, I’m here. We’re all here. Hell, you seem pretty close to Cami these days, if you don’t want to talk to me about it, talk to her.”
“I’m good, I swear. I know I can talk to you if I need to, but I really am good.”
But there is no way in hell I will be telling Cami any of the reasons why I drink. Hell, I think she may even be one of those reasons.
Chapter 6
Cami
Walking into Oba’s on a busy Thursday night is a nice change from the dreary, rainy February day I’ve had. I love happy hour. I love people. Especially, my people. And apparently, my people now includes Liam.
I must admit, I am a bit surprised to see him here again. Not surprised in a bad way, but in a way that makes me wish I had stopped by the ladies’ room and checked my hair and makeup.
I give my head a shake to try to remind myself that I shouldn’t feel that way about him. He’s like family, and he’s not the kind of guy you settle down with. I witnessed him in action back in San Clemente, and I need to remember that.
Let’s just hope I don’t have to get him home again tonight.
And just the thought of his drinking too much, getting too loud, and my needing to drive him home at the end of the night, and my libido takes a nose dive. The feelings that were quietly tickling my heart make a quick getaway.
It is kind of sweet to see him here getting along with everyone so well. And damn, he is a sight to see, if nothing else.
As I politely push my way through the crowded bar, Liam sees me, and the moment he does his eyes are locked onto mine. He’s looking at me like it would be impossible for him to look anywhere else. When I finally reach the table, he stands to greet me and offer me his chair.
“What’s up, home skillet?” Liam asks as he leans down to give me a hug hello.
He’s a big man, well over a foot taller than me, but he makes it work and boy does he give a good hug.
If I’m being honest, his greetings always crack me up. I mean, home skillet? He always finds a way to make me smile. Well, except when I’m dragging his drunk butt home.
“Just glad to be done with work and here with all of you crazies, home slice.” He releases me, and I can see that my greeting brought a smile to his face, too.
But then I ruin it when I look him up and down and ask, “How are you?”
I didn’t mean to give him a look that says, Are you drunk yet? But I can see, as the smile on his face falls just a touch, this is exactly what I’ve done.
He recovers quickly, though. “I’m good, Cam, thanks for asking. Gabe was just filling me in on the news that you decided to work with him on the Avenue of Dreams project. That’s great to hear, little lady! Good decision,” he says, lifting a hand to offer a high-five.
I can’t believe he actually remembered our conversation from that night at Embers.
Bending down to give Gabe a kiss on the cheek, I say, “Yep, he beat me down and eventually I just couldn’t take it anymore.” I sigh sarcastically. “I caved just to get him off my back.”
Gabe smacks me on my butt and says, “You love every minute that you get to spend with me on this project and you know it!”
“Whatever, you’re the one who gets to spend time with me. You lucky dog!”
I throw Gabe a wink and take the seat Liam has so graciously given up for me. He asks the two attractive blondes at the table next to us if he can have their extra chair, and if the drool coming out of the corners of their mouths is any indication, they would give him a lot more than their chair; he just needs to ask.
Turning my attention to the rest of the group, I give my hellos, not wanting to watch Liam’s interaction with our neighboring table. The twinge of jealousy I felt the instant I saw their eyes light up when he approached them was enough. I don’t need to see anymore.
What is my deal tonight?
Yes, Liam is a handsome man.
Yes, seeing him chatting with Gabe is somewhat adorable.
Yes, he is a gentleman who gives up his chair for a woman.
And yes, he gives a great hug.
But he is Liam, and I’m just not that into him.
Right?
After some quick chit
-chat with Chance, Tyler, Jane, and Christina, I turn my attention back to the two new besties: Gabe and Liam.
“What are you two gossiping about?”
“Not really gossip, but it is top secret.” Gabe, looks around like what they’re talking about is so top secret they can’t let anybody overhear.
I can’t help but roll my eyes at his dramatics.
“I was just talking about a piece of land out in the burbs that I thought Liam might be interested in. It’s going on the market next week, but I can get him a look at it before then.”
“Really? I didn’t realize you were still interested in buying property. Are you just looking for an investment or are you planning to build?”
“Both. Land is always a great investment, and I know I want to build. I’m just not a hundred percent sure about building for myself or to build and sell. I haven’t been here too long yet, so I’m not really sure what my long-term plans are, but buying land is never a bad idea.”
“Well, Mr. Sherman is your man. If you are looking for land, look no further,” I say angling my thumb in Gabe’s direction.
“Thank you for the positive endorsement, Cam. So, got any updates for me?” Gabe asks, referring to our Avenue of Dreams project.
We spend the next fifteen minutes discussing the appliances and counter tops that have been agreed upon and ordered. Liam, as a builder, jumps in and gives us a couple of great ideas that we hadn’t thought about. He really does fit in with us perfectly.
The discussion turns to furniture, and it just so happens Liam is also in need of furniture for his loft. When Gabe hears this, he doesn’t hesitate to offer up my services. Apparently, I am now taking Liam with me when I go furniture shopping for our Avenue project.
Gabe sees some friends across the bar and excuses himself.
This leaves just the two of us at our end of the table, and the moment Gabe is out of sight, I feel myself sag in my seat.
“Oh my God, Liam. What am I doing? I can’t do this. I am going to ruin Gabe’s big moment.”
He leans forward on the table and whispers as if confused and trying to keep my lunacy a secret from the rest of the table. “What are you talking about? I just sat here and listened to you discuss every little detail about that kitchen and you sounded like a pro to me.”
“Liam, I shouldn’t be designing this for Gabe. This is a huge deal. What am I thinking having an event of this magnitude be my first time designing? I will never forgive myself if I blow this whole thing,” I say, holding my head in my hands, not wanting to show my face.
“Cami, look at me,” he demands, still leaning toward me over the table.
I lift my head slowly and find him mere inches from my face.
He really is breathtaking.
“Cami.”
“Liam.”
The corner of his mouth lifts, but he quickly shifts his features back to serious when he says, “Cami, you got this. Gabe has complete faith in you. I have complete faith in you. You love this stuff. You care about making it great, and that is exactly what you’re gonna do. You. Have. Got. This.”
“Liam…” I say but am interrupted immediately.
“Nope, I won’t let you say another anti-Cami word. You are going to nail this project. Conversation over.”
Quickly, before I’m interrupted again, I say, “Thank you, Liam. I really appreciate the support and wish I could have your little pep talk recorded so I could just push a button whenever I need a reminder, which would probably be every day. You have no idea what you’re talking about, but thank you.”
“Zip it, woman. I told you no more negative talk.”
“I’m gonna go get a drink. Want anything?” I say, standing.
“Nope, I’m all good.”
I push my way through the crowded bar, and while I wait to get the bartender’s attention, the empty stool next to my perch at the rail is filled by an attractive man in a suit. He catches my eye and gives me that look that says, Why hello there. You’re at a bar, and I’m at a bar. Let me buy you a drink, and we can hook up at my place in an hour or two. So, I just roll with it. This is what I’m good at.
“Hey,” I say, turning my body toward his.
“Hey back. My name’s Jason,” he says as he extends a hand.
I take his hand in mine, and without even thinking about it, I can feel a flirty smile spread across my face. I instinctively fall into my sweet, yet sexy, Cameron routine and work my charm.
“Hi, Jason. Nice to meet you.”
“Nice to meet you…”
I give my hair a little twirl with my free hand and coyly reply. “Cami.”
After five minutes of witty back and forth banter, the bartender makes an appearance, and I place my order. Of course, the dashing Jason puts my drink on his tab. I tell him he doesn’t need to do this, but he insists it’s his pleasure.
As usual, I have no plan to stick around, and inside, I can’t wait to get back to my table.
To Liam.
I feel kind of bad about the free drink, but Jason looks like he can afford it.
“Thank you for the drink, Jason. I have to get back to my friends.”
Not taking no for an answer, he gently grabs me by the wrist and says, “Aw, come on now, where are you going? We just met.”
I tilt my head in the direction of our table and notice Liam is watching us. Very intently.
I can see him balanced on the edge of his chair, ready to get up and come to my rescue. This confuses me until I realize that Jason is still holding on to my wrist, and it must look like he’s forcing me to stay by his side.
Jason catches a glimpse of Liam and instantly let’s go of my wrist.
Yep, I would let go too, buddy.
“Have a nice night, Jason. And thanks again.” I give my pretty pink drink a little lift in the air and take a sip.
I say excuse me and shuffle past several people, making sure to swing my hips just a bit more than usual so that Jason gets a show as I make the short journey to the other side of the room. Nearing the table, I notice Liam hasn’t even made a dent in his beer, and he’s still staring at me intently.
I can’t help but think this is a good thing.
Well, not the staring, but the nursing of his beer.
Gabe is back at the table talking up a storm as usual, and once my butt is back in my seat, Liam joins the chatter and everything seems back to normal. But not after a pretty intense stare off. It’s strange how intently he watched me with Jason and then how he watched my journey back to the table. He even held my gaze for a beat once I sat down. Now he’s acting as if everything is back to normal, and he wasn’t just staring me down like a jealous boyfriend.
Strange, but men usually are, so I try not to read too much into it.
One by one the chairs at our table begin to empty, and eventually, it’s only Liam and I.
I still have half of my drink in front of me, and as the silence envelopes us, I can’t help but twirl my little cocktail straw around and around. Not sure what to say next, I take a look around the bar and see Jason across the room. He lifts his glass to say hello, and I do the same back to him.
“Why do you do that?”
I turn my attention to Liam and see him sitting back in his chair with his big arms crossed in front of his broad chest. He’s looking at me like he knows something I don’t.
“Do what?” I ask incredulously.
Uncrossing his arms, he leans forward and rests his cheek on his fist. He’s looking all coy and cute, and I can see in his dark chocolate eyes that he’s about to give me crap, but about what I have no clue.
“That,” he states bluntly while his eyes point nonchalantly in the direction of the handsome man who’d purchased my drink earlier in the evening. “You flirt and tease, with no intention of ever giving the guy your number. You leave them standing there in your wake of cuteness. They never stand a chance.”
I have no idea what to say. He could mean several things with his observati
on. Is he saying I am a tease in the worst kind of way? Is he inferring I am a cold, heartless bitch who gets her free drink and walks away? For the first time in my life, I am speechless.
He takes advantage of my silence. “For the life of me, I cannot figure out why you are single. You have everything going for you, and you turn every head in the room. Yet, it seems as though you either aren’t interested in anyone or no one is up to your high standards.”
“It isn’t that my standards are so high…”
Or is it? No. No, it isn’t.
His reply is to lift an eyebrow as if saying, Oh really?
“Liam, I don’t need a man to make me complete. I have never been a girl who has been desperate to be in a relationship. But, now that I am the big three-oh, I will admit it does suck to be single. I don’t have a need to be a mother, but I still want to meet the one. I don’t want to live my life alone. But that doesn’t mean that I should settle for any hot guy in a suit willing to buy me a pretty drink.”
Liam opens his mouth to speak, but I don’t want to hear his apology. I don’t want him to feel bad for me. It feels good to get this off my chest. I’m so tired of being perky and happy all the time. It feels good to admit to somebody, hell to myself, that I’m not happy being thirty and single. So, I continue.
“It’s really pretty simple. I want someone who deserves me and whom I deserve right back. I won’t settle, and I don’t want anybody to settle for me.”
This puts a slight grin on his face. “I agree, you shouldn’t settle, but it will be hard to find somebody worthy of you, little lady.”
I can feel the heat spread across my face, but I shake off the effect his compliment has on me and try to think of a way to break this down for him.
“Liam, I am…simply put…the bee’s knees. And I want to be with someone who knows that.”
His grin transforms into an all-out smile, and I catch a delightful twinkle in his eyes.
“The bee’s knees, huh?”
“Yep. Simple as that. You see I don’t need a man to take care of me. I can take care of myself. I want a man to be my partner in life. I don’t need a hero, or some fairy tale bliss. I want to fall in love with my best friend, and Emily and Alex are both taken so, the search is still on.” I shrug.
