«Lara?» Nicolas leaned close to her, smoothing back her hair with a gentle hand. «Do you understand
what I'm saying to you?»
She forced her eyes open to meet his gaze. It was now or never to see if he had really changed. She pushed herself into a sitting position. Instantly he was there with his strong arms, propping her up, pushing air and pillows around her until he felt her comfort.
She made herself say it out loud, her gaze steady on his. «You want to give me blood.»
He didn't look away and he kept his mind firmly merged with hers. «I need to give you blood,» he corrected, allowing her to see the truth, to feel his hunger for her, for the taste of her, for the excitement of holding her close to him and feeling the incredible bonding between lifemates. More than his personal hunger to exchange blood with her, she felt his even stronger need to make her healthy again.
She moistened her lips. «I need to go back to the ice cave,» she blurted out. «That's the reason I came here in the first place. I have to go back. Not you. Not the other Carpathians, but me. My aunts kept me alive, no, they did more than that. They kept me sane, and I suspect they kept my father sane as long as they could. I owe them and I need to go find them. Dead or alive, finding out the worst, it doesn't matter, I have to do this.»
She clung to the mind merge, reading his reactions, refusing to flinch away from the dominating, very powerful demon who rose on a tidal wave of darkness to protest. His curse, he had said. She saw him so clearly now. Nicolas would never be anything but what he was, and that was a forceful presence who had confidence in his decisions. He would always believe in protecting her first, keeping her safe, but he was also struggling to give her a sense of confidence. He saw her as an equal, but one who needed to be guarded and governed. He was determined to grow beyond that. She saw and felt his struggle to fight back his first reaction. The protest welled up in him strong-violent even.
«You are not going to make this easy for me, are you?» he asked with a small sigh.
«I have to go into the cave. I'm asking you to understand.»
«That I can say without reservation. I do understand. Truthfully,I have to go back to that cave. I was there with you, sharing the horrors for a small time and their voices helped not only you cope, but me as well. You are my lifemate, a gift from the gods, and they kept you alive and sane for me. I understand the need to know their fate. If they are dead, I will recover their bodies and bring them home. If they, by some miracle, are still alive and I find proof, I will never stop until they are found.»
For the first time she reached out to him, taking both of his hands in hers, her gaze never wavering. «I have to go myself, Nicolas.» She repeated each word with distinction, watching it sink in, watching his instinctive reaction.
He looked so incredibly handsome and dangerous with his black glittering eyes and smoldering, sensual features. His hair was long already and tied back again with a leather thong making her wonder for a moment if he had deliberately brushed the strands across her bare skin. She felt her color rise at the thought.
«Read my mind, if you need to. See why it's so important to me. Just because I'm a woman doesn't mean I don't have the same needs that drive you to protect those you love. The aunts were the only real support I had in my childhood. I didn't remember my father at all until I rediscovered the ice cave.»
«Kod alte han. Darkness curse it.» Nicolas hissed the oath between his teeth. The problem was-he
did understand. How could he not? He didn't want to, not when the mere thought of Lara in that cave made him crazy. It was too dangerous. What kind of a lifemate would he be if he didn't protect her? All of his life he had ranted about the males being too lenient with their women, being wrapped around their fingers…O jela peje terad. Sun scorch it . He was going to address the warrior's council and demand that Mikhail forbid the women to hunt the vampire. If he allowed those blue-green eyes to sway him from what he knew to be the right path…
He groaned. «Do not do this to me, Lara.»
«I know it will be difficult for you. If I learned anything about you, merged together as we were, I know this is asking something huge of you-to put aside your need to keep me safe, but I have to ask you. In return,» she moistened suddenly dry lips. Her body trembled and then she raised her chin. «I don't expect you to be the only one sacrificing. In return, I'll try to accept your need of my blood.»
There it was. The offer. The lifemate howled with absolute joy. The demon rose, hungry, insatiable, punching him hard with a fierce, possessive desire. Blood surged hotly in his veins and pulsed in his groin. If she said it and he accepted, she wouldn't-couldn't-go back on her word.
The demon, the arrogant, dominant hunter rejoiced. The lifemate stepped back and assessed the situation. She was pale, trembling, wringing her hands together. The price was far too high for both of them and finally, there was something he could do for her.
He took a deep breath-let it out slowly. His hands framed her face and he shook his head. «Not like this. Not a bargain between us when you are repulsed and frightened by the very thought. When I take your blood, Lara, it will be with love, an expression of love, a ritual between man and wife as old as time. If I cannot make you comfortable enough to trust me to accept the bond willingly, then I do not deserve you as a lifemate.» He held up his hand to stop her from answering. «That is not to say I will not insist on you accepting my blood and if an exchange is necessary, I will tell you. You will have the option of my controlling you for those few moments so you do not fear.»
Lara's fingers wrapped around his wrist. «What if I can't do it?»
«Then I must help you.»
«And the cave?»
This was his gift to her, the only one he had to give. Everything he was rebelled, hard knots twisted in his gut. «I will take you.»
There was a small silence while she stared into his eyes, seeking the truth. He felt her moving in his mind. The music continued, the breeze moved through the trees and the dragon stars danced overhead.
«Do you mean it?»
«I am your lifemate. Seek your answer in my mind.»
She tilted her head to one side, her gaze locked with his. Just as he had lived her earlier life and finally understood what it was like to feel helpless, vulnerable and humiliated, she had been merged with him and was beginning to understand that Nicolas had spent centuries guarding everyone around him. It was inherent in his nature. And to allow her to put herself in danger was an enormous concession-more, it went against everything he had ever believed in or stood for.
«You're an amazing man, Nicolas.»
«Do not call me amazing until I get you out of that cave in one piece. We will plan carefully for every emergency. And you will do as I tell you. I have long hunted our enemies and, although you know the caves, and have seen how brutal they are, you have never fought our enemies.»
She nodded. «I have no intention of doing anything else,» she assured. She lay back against the pillows, too tired to sit upright. «Do it now, while the music is playing and I can look at the stars. If you don't, I'm going to pass out.»
He had almost been waiting for her to lose consciousness, or at least to go back to a state of drifting. He didn't want her to fear him, not now when he had made a little progress. She was beginning to trust him a little, reaching toward him, maybe even taking a few small steps to meet him somewhere close to the middle.
The problem, Nicolas knew, was there was no middle for him. He didn't know how to compromise. He could only hope that his desire to understand her and make her happy would help him overcome his need for complete dominance. He understood then why the ritual words were imposed on the male. She didn't promise to cherish and put his happiness first-he was already taking over her life, changing the course of it for all time. The male had to make the sacrifices to make the union work. After all, he was the one who benefited most.
He reached for her without further preamble, pulling her tense body
onto his lap and cradling her against his chest. «Listen to the wind blowing through the trees,palafertiilm . Hear the music of my soul calling to yours.» He stroked back the silky fall of her hair and gently turned her face to his chest. His shirt melted away, leaving the heavy muscles exposed.
«When you take blood from your lifemate, it is an offering, a gift. You are not hurting me, just the opposite. I feel great physical and emotional pleasure from the exchange. The giving of blood is an offer of life, my life for yours, the sharing of the same skin, as we do physically when we make love or physically when we merge mind to mind. A true offering is erotic with a lifemate. Between warriors it is literally a gift of life. The truth of a blood exchange is far different than the corrupted concept Xavier made it.»
Lara closed her eyes to better hear the velvet seduction in his voice. Although he had used the word «exchange» she knew he had no intention of taking her blood, although the desire beat at him. She wanted to succumb completely to that voice, to her lifemate, to give him back something when he was struggling to find a bridge between them. If he could give her a gift of such magnitude, she could find it in herself to be as equally courageous.
In truth, it wasn't that difficult. His body was hot and hard. His arms-enormously strong. His heart beat a steady rhythm and her heart followed his lead. She felt light and feminine, her body aching, inner muscles tightening and arousal teasing her thighs and feminine sheath. Her breasts ached for attention.
Lara let herself drift on a tide of rising desire. She nuzzled his chest, his bare skin beneath her cheek, before lifting her lashes to look into his eyes. She felt stunned by the raw hunger there, the sheer intensity of his need. Her mind sought and found his as her pulse pounded and blood surged hotly in her veins. The rush of heat took her by surprise. Her teeth felt sharp, her body edgy. The sound of his heart thundered in her ears, the ebb and flow of life through his body filled her with excitement.
For a moment she was repulsed by her own nature, the need rising to take the essence of his life from him, but his gaze was so hot, so hungry, his hunger fueled her own. She closed her eyes, nuzzling his chest, her lips sliding over his bare skin, tasting. Her tongue darted out, a leisurely foray over the muscle. His body jerked. Against her bottom she felt his shaft, steel-hard, thick and rigid, pressing tightly into her.
A soft moan escaped her throat. She moved against him restlessly. He felt male. Strong. He felt like her other half. Her body smoldered with heat. Longing rose, a helpless desire to taste him-every inch of him. A tidal wave of need swept over her, taking her with it. She lapped at his hot skin. Once. Twice. Her teeth lengthened more in anticipation. Her mouth filled with a tangy spice.
She bit down gently, a small experimental bite. He shuddered in response, his arms tightening possessively, his shaft jerking. She opened her eyes once more, locking her gaze with his, drowning in his hunger. She sank her teeth deep. Nicolas threw back his head and moaned sensually, a husky sound that sent tremors through her body.
And then the addicting taste of him flooded her senses. Power. Energy. A rush of lust so strong her body shook. He simply gathered her closer, one hand supporting her head, holding her to him. Power soaked into her organs and tissue, sizzled through veins and arteries to center in her most feminine core to pulse there with rising hunger.
Everything about him was more vivid, every one of her senses was sharper, so that when she inhaled she drew him into her lungs. She heard the rhythm of his heart calling and her heart answered.
He whispered to her in her mind, his voice slightly husky, so sensual she began to play erotic images in her head-in his head.
Nicolas groaned again, fighting for control. He had wanted to show her a sensual experience, but she was pushing the limits of a centuries-old restraint.Lara. O jela sielamak. Light of my soul, you have to stop before it's too late and there is no going back .
He didn't want her to stop. His hand slid up her rib cage to cup the weight of her breast in his palm. One thought and her clothes would be gone. He could have her, be inside the haven of her body, take them both all the way to paradise.
Her hips moved, she pressed back against him, her bottom sliding intimately over his shaft, the friction sending shudders of pleasure through his body. In another minute the decision would be out of his hands. Right now, in the ecstasy of taking her lifemate's blood, her body was on fire, welcoming his, but she wasn't ready to take that next step and he refused to take advantage-if he could restrain himself.
Reluctantly he left the warmth of her breast and slid his palm between her mouth and his chest.Enough, fel ku kuuluaak sivam belso. Beloved, you have to help me .
She swept her tongue across the twin pinpricks, her gaze a sexy, drowsy combination that only increased his desire. She reached one hand up to curl around his neck, bringing his mouth to hers.
His heart stopped as her lips feathered across his. Back and forth, a slow, light touch that stole the air from his lungs.
«You really are the most amazing man, Nicolas.»
Even her voice was a seduction. He wasn't going to live through this. His lungs burned, his groin ached
and every muscle was tight with sexual tension.
With even more reluctance, he put her aside, laying her body on the bed. It took some doing to get his normally graceful body to move so that he could stand up and pace a little away from her to give himself a reprieve. He had to get out into the cool night air and regain his control.
«I have to go, Lara. You rest until I return.» It was cowardly to retreat, and he could see by her face she didn't like it, but it was the only safe avenue open to him.
Chapter 10
«You're going to leave me here? You don't want to talk about what just happened between us?» Lara's hand trembled as she pushed back the silky fall of hair from her face.
Nicolas was in a heightened state of sexual awareness. He was hungry, starving even, and the scent of her drove him crazy. He could already taste her in his mouth. The demon in him roared to life.
He stepped back away from the bed, turning his head so she wouldn't see the red flames he knew would be flickering in his eyes. He curled his fingers into his palms, the sharpened nails digging deep. Teeth sharpened and when he spoke, his usual low voice held the hint of a growl. «Now is not the time to talk with me about sex, Lara. I am not a saint by any means.»
She studied his averted face. Her gaze drifted down his body to the thick, impressive bulge pushing at the front of his jeans. There was a heady power in knowing she had driven him to the edge of control, yet she wasn't ready to face the consequences. Nicolas was desperately trying to give her time and truthfully she needed it. She took a deep breath and pulled back from the edge of the precipice she was so tempted to jump off.
«I don't want to be left alone,» Lara said. «Not again. Not even when you've made the cave so beautiful. I need to be out in the fresh air with you.»
Nicolas shoved his hands through his hair and paced back and forth, reminding her of a trapped jungle cat. Muscles rippled beneath his thin shirt and there was a fluid grace to his every stride. Abruptly he came back to the bed, towered over her for a moment and then he crouched down. «Fel ku kuuluaak sivam belso. Beloved, I am in desperate need of blood. I had planned to close down the sharing of our minds so you would not have to experience it. I cannot very well take you with me and have you watch something that distresses you, no matter how necessary.»
She pushed herself up, surprised that even with the infusion of his blood, she felt a little weak and dizzy. Ignoring it, she forced herself to stand. «Take me to the inn then. I can visit with Terry and Gerald. I want to see if Terry is doing better. I feel responsible. I never should have taken them along.»
He didn't want her near either man, and certainly not until he made certain the parasites were completely gone from Terry's system. He didn't want to share her, not now, not with anyone until their bond was complete, but she needed to be grounded. She need
ed to feel as if she didn't come from some tainted line. He was wrong to keep her family from her just because he wanted to be the only one she relied on.
He took a breath and let it out, determined to do the right thing no matter the cost to himself because all this goodness wouldn't last. He knew himself better than that. The darkness was as much a part of him as breathing. «I can check on the two of your friends for you, but I actually have something better for you to do if you really think you are up to it.»
«What?»
He reached for her hand, tugged until she extended her arm and he could bring her fist to his chest-right over the twin marks over his heart. «Razvan has a twin sister and she is alive.»
Lara blinked up at him. At once he felt the push of energy. The music filling the cavern went silent. Her hair crackled and streaked, and her eyes, looking up at him went from that deep emerald green to glacier blue. «How long have you known this?»
Dark Curse 19 Page 19
