On the inside of her locker’s door is her schedule. I run my fingers down to fifth period just to have my fucking heart sink again. She’s out early today. Motherfucker. I slam the door to the locker shut and lean my back against it, scanning the empty hallways, staring at all the spots where I’d made her life a living hell. This might just be karma. I’d be inclined to really believe that if I wasn’t convinced that she’s hurting too.
I take my phone out of my pocket again and decide to call Christopher and ask if it’s okay for me to stop by.
“Maverick?” he answers. There’s alarm in his voice, as well as confusion.
It didn’t used to be this way. Just last week we were okay. Beth’s family was the family I didn’t have. For the first time, I realize what the end of our relationship would truly mean. It’s not just her that I’d be losing, but them too. And just when they’d started to accept me.
I shake my head. Christopher showed up to my condo and asked me to fight for the girl. He wouldn’t do that if he wasn’t keen on seeing us back together; if he didn’t fucking like having me around.
“Hey Chris,” I say. “Is Beth home?”
“Yeah,” he says and then pauses for a beat. “She came in about a half an hour ago. Is everything already?”
“Everything’s good,” I say. “It’s just that…she’s not really answering my calls and I’m getting kinda worried.”
“She’s having a rough time, Maverick.” Another pause and then comes Beth’s voice. She’s not talking to me. She’s arguing with her dad.
Is that him?
Dad, seriously.
Hang up the phone.
Hang up the phone, dad.
She sounds like heaven. If heaven knew how to be angry.
“Beth,” I call into the phone. I’m clutching it like it’s a brick of freshly printed million dollar notes. “Beth, baby.”
Silence.
Silence.
I look at the phone.
She hung up.
Or he hung up.
My head hurts. My heart hurts even more.
52
Over a week later and my heart doesn’t feel any less broken than it did before. I know that I’m healing, though. Slowly, but surely, the tears have started to subside. Bonus points for the fact that I’m no longer crying myself to sleep or waking up with a pillow drenched in my sorrows.
Being in school also doesn’t feel as hard as it could, thanks to my reluctance to walk on the right side of the rules.
As for Maverick, I haven’t seen much of him. He’s called and called and I’ve ignored every single one of his approaches. There’s no way of him catching me out in the hallway either – I’ve made sure of that. And the classes we have together are the classes I avoid. Maybe next week, I’ll be brave enough to tell him to fuck off to his face. After all, I can’t exactly alter my life and flunk out of school just because I’m adamant at avoiding him. If I do, he wins. And he doesn’t deserve another fucking win.
The State Games are in full effect. I knew that he would be everywhere. In the cheering in the hallways. The whispers behind closed doors. The posters on every goddamn wall of our forsaken school. When Coach messaged me it was like the last damn thread being pulled in an attempt to unravel me. I didn’t know what to say. Hell, Maverick and I are still married, and I haven’t quite figured out what the hell to do with that. An annulment? A divorce? If there’s anything that screams sham it’s the fact that we’ve parted ways long before the ink on our marriage certificate could dry.
Like an idiot, I’d done as Coach requested and showed up to the game. I’m not even sure why. Maybe I just didn’t want to have to explain things to him. I sat in the back row of the arena, securing the exit seat. I didn’t need to look at Maverick. Didn’t need to even pay attention to the game. That wasn’t a part of the arrangement and so I did neither of those things. My phone was in my hands and I diddled with it the entire time. That was easy enough for the first five minutes, but when the chanting of his name started I knew how much of an idiot I was. I gave it another twenty minutes before fucking the hell off.
When I left the arena, I knew I would need a bit more of a distraction to keep my mind far away from Maverick. Tyler’s one of the only people I’ve met who can listen without plugging his opinion into every open crevice and I’ve pretty much ghosted him since that time with Maverick. I decide to head to my old workplace. Clear my head a little.
It takes me twenty minutes of waiting until my Uber driver shows up and another twenty minutes in the car before I’m there. I push through the heavy front doors, breathing in the scent of familiarity. Sometimes it takes returning to a place to realize just how much you’ve missed it.
“Beth!” Tyler exclaims as I walk into the restaurant.
Even though I haven’t been here since Maverick’s last eruption, this still feels like my safe space and on a day like today, when my mind feels like a jumble of emotions and a chaotic mess, I need the familiarity and security of this space to help me find my center.
“You look...different. It’s a good different. How have you been? The last time I saw you, you were being dragged out of here by a maniac.” The words come stumbling out of him. Rather than immediately acknowledging any of them, I throw my arms around his neck and hug him. I can feel his smile on my shoulder after a long exhale and some of the tension slips away from me.
“It’s good to see you too, Tyler. I’m sorry it took me so long to come back. Things have been a bit hectic on my end, you know.”
“Well you wear it well.” He smiles and I blush. “Can I get you anything?”
I shake my head and settle in on a stool close by the counter. The thermostat is set to the perfect temperature and cools me down from the humidity outside.
Tyler looks relieved to see me and I feel horrible for abandoning my truest friend.
“I just needed to get away for a bit. Clear my head.” I explain more from guilt than an actual need to set the record straight.
I look around the booths. They’re all fairly empty. That’s no surprise with the state games going on. Pretty soon this silence will dissipate as the revelers pour in, so I take a deep breath and enjoy the silence.
“Are you ready for the post-game rush?” I ask, trying to take the attention away from myself.
“Ugh! Yeah. We will be if Elizabeth shows up for her shift like she’s supposed to. But, you know, reliability isn’t really her thing.” He groans and checks his watch, shaking his head.
“Geez, I’m surprised you’ve kept her on for this long. She is impossible.” I laugh and he rolls his eyes before handing me a drink.
“It’s on the house. What’s on your mind, Beth?” he smiles with knowing eyes.
“What makes you think there’s something on my mind?”
“I know you.”
I sigh. No point in pretending. After all, I did come here because I needed a friend. “I did something incredibly stupid and now I’m dealing with the consequences of it.” I summarize my entire marriage and subsequent heartbreak.
“What did you do?”
“I decided to trust someone who didn’t deserve my trust.”
He nods, pulling up a stool as though he expects me to continue. When I don’t, he narrows his eyes at me. “Do go on.”
“Well there isn’t much else to say. I went out like a fool and got my heart broken. No big deal.” I try to smile it off, but his intense gaze keeps me honest.
“Your broken heart is a big deal, Beth. It’s a pretty big heart you’ve gone out and gottenbroken.”
I laugh at that. He always knew how to pick the most ridiculous words and somehow have them make sense.
“How about I sub in for Elizabeth until she gets here?” I ask and he perks up, checking his watch again.
“You’re playing the avoiding game.”
“You need the help.”
“I do need the help. But-”
“You’d be helping me too,” I cut in.
“I just… My mind is running away from me and I could do with a distraction.”
He arches a brow, taking me in for a moment. “Fine.”
I’m up on my feet immediately, throwing my arms around him. “You’re the best, Ty!”
In no time, I make my way to the other side of the counter, before disappearing into the changing room to grab an apron.
Strip away the makeup and the new clothes and I’m still the same person. The waitress from a seedy part of town with a love for dancing, a heart for music and no fear of hard work. I am not a trophy wife. I am not a mail order bride either. I am a waitress. A waitress with dreams that go far beyond Maverick.
When I walk back into the main room, I’m greeted by rowdy cheers and over excited fans.
“Looks like the game is over.” Tyler nods towards the booths as they start filling up and a part of me goes numb.
“Are you okay?” Tyler asks me, his brow raised as he watches my reactions. “You know, you don’t have to do this. You can change your mind whenever you want.”
I rest my hand on his shoulder and shake my head. His arms feel firm beneath my fingers and I idly let my hand slide down his bulging biceps.
I should have chosen him. I should have fallen for someone I knew was purely and truly good. At least then I’d have a reason to be upset if I got my heart shattered. I pull my hand away, cursing myself for my runaway thoughts.
“It’s fine, Tyler. I said I’d help. You’re down one server anyway, so I can do a few tables before I go. I’ll just avoid the players if you don’t mind.”
“I can handle them. Thanks again, Beth. You really are an angel,” he says, brushing away a hair I hadn’t noticed, tucking it behind my ear.
There’s no sign of Maverick when I walk out, and I can feel my shoulders relax. But even that doesn’t last for long.
“Well if it isn’t little Miss Bethany Hendrickson,” I hear a shrill female voice chime behind me. “What are you doing here? Maverick’s usually the type to look after his women. Or is it that you’re just not worth being taken care of?”
I turn around to stare into Suzanne’s face, fighting back the urge to throw my fist against her bulby little nose.
“I’m just saying,” she continues, “he usually spoils his women. Well, at least he used to spoil me.” She smirks, tossing her hair over her shoulders.
“No, I’m pretty sure you’re naturally rotten. He had nothing to do with that. I’m not your server today, so do yourself a favor and pretend that I don’t fucking exist.”
Her chest sags as she scoffs at me in disbelief.
“You cannot speak to me like that.”
“I can speak to you however the hell I want,” I inform her before walking away to go serve an elderly couple across the room.
Tyler chuckles as he walks by me to get to their table and gives a small wink that suddenly makes me even bolder. I’m done taking all their shit. Maverick included.
I’ve decided to ignore the whole ‘I love him’ nonsense that has been brewing inside me all day. I refuse to love somebody who cannot love me back. It isn’t worth the heartache.
If Maverick wants me, he’s going to have to prove it to me and I need much more than just random text messages saying how much he misses me.
Missing me is easy. I happen to be amazing.
Loving me is something completely different.
The temperature changes as a waft of warm air blows in through the open door and I catch a familiar whiff in the breeze.
I’ve woken up to this scent, drifted off to sleep to this scent, fallen hard and fast for this scent. So much so that it’s fully committed to my memory. My fingers tighten around the pen I’m holding and for a few seconds I completely forget how to breathe. I don’t need to turn around. I know he’s here and I feel trapped with my back to the door, waiting tensely for the right moment to escape.
The tension only builds when I turn to see Ethan and Marco tumbling into the restaurant without him.
They seem slightly buzzed as they start bellowing on top of their voices, singing the school chant. The rest of the crowd unsurprisingly joins in. To an outsider this happy bunch could possibly evoke nostalgia to the right generation and spark hope for the others. They may seem so unified to the untrained eye, but I know better.
I’ve seen just how cruel they can all be to each other and in the midst of the celebration I find myself wondering where he is. I couldn’t have just imagined his scent, could I? I’m not that screwed in the head. Not yet, at least.
They had a big win tonight so I know he has to be celebrating. I scan the crowd one more time, but Maverick is nowhere to be seen. By the looks of it, he’s celebrating somewhere else. I can’t seem to stop myself from wondering if it’s with her. I know I shouldn’t care as much as I do, but I can’t seem to turn it down let alone turn it off.
‘Technically, you’re being paid to worry about him so it’s really not that big a deal.’ I reason with myself, but I can feel the judgment forming in the back of my head.
The illogical part of my brain screams at me to find him. If only to prove that I have every reason to be mad; every reason to move on. If he’s with her, then it’s even clearer than it was before that he’s nothing but a traitorous ass. Prove to my heart that its pain is unnecessary.
The longer I chew over that idea, the more convicted I become. Yeah, that’s what I’ll do.
I grab my phone and make my way to the door, passing the sneers of my classmates as I shuffle by.
“Hey Beth!” Marco calls out and I pause to glance at him.
“What?” I ask
He smiles. “I need a refill.”
I glance down at my phone before stashing it in my pocket. I know I’ll earn no brownie points tonight if I tell one of our players to go eat a dick on the night that they won the semis, so I turn back and give him his refill. Before I can walk away, Suzanna grabs my wrist and yanks me down to the table.
“Let’s get one thing straight, Bethany. You will never be one of us. I don’t care what you do, who you screw or how much you change your hair. You’re nothing. Soon enough, Maverick will realize it too.”
Before I can whip an answer out of my arsenal, Tyler is by my side. “Everything okay here?” he asks, caution in his voice. Always to my rescue.
“Suzanna,” I say and pause as I suck a deep breath into my lungs. I make sure that her eyes are fixed on mine. That every ounce of her focus is one me. “The next time you lay a hand on me,” I tell her, my voice straight, my threat clear, “be prepared to lose it.” I yank my hand away from her and I’m only vaguely aware of the whistles and impressed chuckles from the guys seated around her. Something tells me that Maverick might not have kept me a secret to them. Once upon a time, they’d have added fuel to whatever fire Susanna was burning. Right now, that’s not the case.
“Looks like little Miss Beth grew up overnight,” Ethan says and Marco whistles loud and long. I roll my eyes and shoot Suzanna one more look before walking out the door.
53
I’m not sure what I expected to feel, but I’m pretty sure making it to the semi-finals of the state games is supposed to feel a lot better than this. Just one more game and we’ll hold the state title. When the final buzzer went off in the rink and the score board flashed our victory, my eyes wandered deep into the crowd, beyond the screams and past the pom-poms in search of her.
The cheering crowd grew increasingly muted as I found her spot empty. Again.
Coach sprints onto the ice and joins in on the celebrations. My fumbles in the first quarter of the game are obviously forgiven as the chants grow louder around me. It was such an unbelievably close game, though it shouldn’t have been. But my mind isn’t my own and I know now, more than ever, that I don’t just fucking want Bethany back. I need her. Need her like I need air.
In a moment that is supposed to be one of my greatest, all I can think about is her and I want to scrub my mind clean, but it’s like trying
to dry the ocean with a washcloth and I can’t fucking stand it.
“Good game guys,” I mumble before hobbling off to the locker room to get showered up and change out of my jersey.
When I check my phone, I cling to the hope that there’s a message from her. I do that a lot. And every single time, there’s nothing.
“Everything alright in here?” I hear Coach’s deep baritone as I slouch against my locker.
“Hey Coach,” I mumble.
“You were off your game today,” he says, and I nod because I have no energy to bullshit. I wasn’t just off my game. I’ve been off my entire fucking life.
“But you rallied like a champ in the last quarter. I’m proud of you.”
“Thanks Coach.”
He studies me for a second and then chuckles.
“I told her to come, you know.”
I whip around to see the smirk on his face. “What?”
“I know you think I’m a soulless bastard with a hard heart.”
“Well… you kinda are.”
“Perhaps. But I also know you more than you realize and you, Maverick, have really changed.”
Not according to Beth and that’s the only opinion that really matters.
“I’m not sure when and I don’t care how, but you’ve gotten yourself into quite the situation with that wife of yours.”
I cringe at his words because I don’t trust the words that may come tumbling out if I try to speak.
“I realized you guys were in the middle of a fight-”
“She moved out,” I confess and he blanches.
“What? Why didn’t you say anything?”
“Because it’s my fault. Because I didn’t fucking care to deal with the backlash. Because you would have kicked me off the team and I would have lost the last thing that’s fucking keeping me together.”
Vile Intentions: A Dark Sports Bully Romance Page 27
