Just for Now

by Abbi Glines

  My eyes filled with tears. He hadn’t even let me explain. He’d just stormed off. I hadn’t said that was what I wanted. I was being polite.

  The door opened, and I backed up, not sure if I should leave or if I should plead my case. I wasn’t used to having a man mad at me. It was scary. My dad had never yelled at me, and until the night Marcus found out about Preston and me, neither had Marcus. My heart was racing in my chest, and I felt like I was going to throw up.

  Preston pointed at my phone. “You talk to him often? Hmm?”

  I shook my head. “No-o-o,” I stammered.

  “Sure as hell sounds like it. He’s got money. Your brother sure as hell approves if he’s sending him a wedding invitation.”

  “I didn’t know about the invitation until just now.”

  Preston let out a hard, angry laugh. “You knew about the jet ride to New York City, though, didn’t you? Looks like you were the one texting him today too.”

  “I had forgotten to text him back the last time he texted me. I was trying to be polite. He’s Jax’s brother,” I explained.

  Preston turned around and slammed his fist into the wall. “Fuck that, Manda. You texted him. You wanted to talk to him.”

  A tear trickled down my face, and I couldn’t think of the right thing to say to make him understand. He was so angry. For the first time ever, I wanted to leave his apartment. I wanted to go somewhere alone and cry.

  I walked over and got my phone off the couch, then picked up my beach bag and headed for the door. I didn’t look back at him. I couldn’t or I’d break down crying right now.

  I didn’t want him to see me cry. I wanted to be mad at him and yell at him and tell him how stupid he was being, but the lump in my throat was stopping me.

  I hurried out the door and down the steps. When my foot hit the bottom step, I burst into tears. I hadn’t been able to make it to my car. Wiping at my face, I slipped on my sunglasses, which had been on top of my head, and started out toward my car.

  The sound of heavy steps running down the stairs startled me, and I turned around to see Preston running after me.

  “Manda, wait. I’m sorry. Please don’t leave.”

  A smart person would’ve kept walking. I wasn’t a smart person.

  Preston’s panicked face as he begged me not to leave was more powerful than common sense.

  “I’m an asshole. God, baby. I’m so sorry. I was upset when I came in, and then I saw the text and it set me off. I’m not going to lie, I’m jealous as hell. You’re mine, and he’s after you. He has money and your family’s approval. Two things I don’t have. I want to be able to fly you to New York City on a damn jet, and anywhere else you want to go, but I can’t.”

  That was the only explanation I needed. I understood. I took the few steps separating us, and I grabbed his face and kissed him fiercely on the mouth. I was possessive with it. I wanted him to understand that all I wanted was him. Not a ride in a jet and a fancy dinner. He moaned and ran his hands through my hair and pulled me closer to him. I controlled the kiss. I bit his lip and pulled his tongue into my mouth, and I sucked hard before plunging back into the warmth of his. When I finally broke the kiss, we were both breathing heavily.

  “Day-um,” he whispered.

  “No one compares to you. No one. Get that through your head,” I told him, and slipped my hand up his chest. “I don’t need jets and fancy locations. I just need you.”

  Chapter Twenty

  Preston

  Amanda had fallen asleep on her stomach. After we’d played around in the water until we were both very satisfied, we’d come back up to lay out on the towels she’d brought with us. I’d coated her back with sunscreen, and she’d dozed off while I was rubbing it in.

  I’d lain here and watched her sleep for the past thirty minutes. I’d also fought the urge to throw a towel over her ass. Every time I felt eyes directed this way, I made sure to stare them down until they looked away.

  After having to leave her to go work, I’d come back pissed off. I was still looking for a job that could pay me what I needed. I was even looking into working night shifts somewhere. Anything to get me out of this hell I was in.

  Seeing the text from Jason Stone had been all I’d needed to push home the fact that Amanda deserved more than what she was getting. I couldn’t even tell her I loved her. She hadn’t said those three words to me again. That one time she’d told her brother, and that was it.

  I knew she was waiting on me to say them, but how could I? Did I want her? Yes. Did I need her to breathe? Yes. Could I imagine life without her? No. But could I be in love with her, truly in love with her, and deceive her at the same time? I wasn’t sure. Love was honest. It was pure. I was neither of those things. So how could I love?

  Her eyelashes fluttered, and opened slowly. Sleeping beauty was waking up. My chest hurt just looking at her. She was amazing. Everything about her.

  “Are you watching me sleep?” she asked, smiling up at me.

  “It’s fascinating,” I replied.

  She buried her face into the towel, but I could see the pleased grin on her face. She never asked for affirmation, but she needed it. That surprised me. I’d have thought she’d had enough of it growing up and didn’t need it, but now I wondered if she had gone without it. She had a dad who worked all the time and mother who was on every committee in town. Had she been the rich little girl in the big house with no one around but her brother to tell her that she was beautiful, that she was smart, that she deserved more than a sorry-ass loser like me?

  She sat up and stretched. Almost every golden inch of her body was on display.

  “I have another family dinner tonight. So I’m going to have to head home soon,” she said with a frown on her face.

  She had family dinner every week. Since her dad had left them, she never missed it. I could tell it was important to her mother and she didn’t want her mother upset.

  “Okay. I’ll stay home and do homework and wait on you to crawl into bed and send me a naughty text message.”

  She giggled and pulled her hair up into a knot on her head. I loved watching her do little things like that. I could sit and watch her all damn day and never get bored.

  “Naughty text message, huh? I thought that was called sexting,” she replied.

  I reached over, grabbed her arm, and pulled her on top of me. “Oh yeah, we can sext all you want to. You can tell me all the things you want me to do to you, and I’ll tell you just how I’m gonna do it,” I whispered in her ear, then took a nibble.

  “Mmmm, okay. I like that idea,” she replied.

  Smiling, I slipped my knee up between her legs. “You just have to promise to play with that pretty little pussy for me.”

  Amanda gasped and slapped at my arm. “You are so bad, Preston Drake.”

  “Only with you, baby. Only with you.”

  Her phone started playing that country song about cowboys and angels. It was her ringtone. She needed a new one. I was beginning to get jealous of any guy in a cowboy hat.

  “It’s Willow,” she said, looking over at me. “She doesn’t know about us. Marcus isn’t telling her because he’s afraid she’ll make him tell Mom, and he wants to wait and tell Mom after the wedding. No more added drama and all.”

  Shit. I’d assumed he’d never tell their mother. Or at least I’d hoped by the time he did I’d have another job and I’d be able to deny it. Mrs. Hardy didn’t really have any proof. As far as she was told, I was there to do the plumbing. I had to find another job. Before this damn wedding.

  “Hello,” she said, pressing the phone to her ear. “Yep. I’ll be there. Did you bring the dress home? . . . Yay! Now let’s hope it fits. I feel like I’ve gained five pounds lately. . . . If it doesn’t, I’ll go on a diet. Promise. . . . See ya in a little bit.”

  Amanda clicked her phone off and smiled before crawling off me and standing up. “I’ve got to get home and take a shower before dinner. Low is bringing my bridesmaid dress o
ver.”

  I didn’t want her to leave me, but I also needed to spend some time finding a job.

  “I’ll be waiting on my sext.”

  Amanda

  Mom had been acting weird all night. She was normally very happy on family dinner night. She adored Willow and getting to assist in planning the wedding—which was now on the beach instead of the church where Mom had wanted it— something she looked forward to when we were all together.

  She’d said very little about my dress, which fit perfectly, much to my relief. While we’d all discussed the wedding cake colors and if the groom’s cake should be cheesecake or chocolate cake, Mom had stared out the window.

  When the door closed behind Marcus and Willow, I turned to go up the stairs.

  “We need to talk.”

  I stopped and looked back at Mom. She was standing at the bottom of the stairs with her arms crossed, staring up at me. Something was definitely wrong.

  “Okay,” I said, walking back down the steps and following her as she made her way into the living room.

  “Sit down, Amanda.”

  I was suddenly very nervous. The serious tone of her voice wasn’t something I was used to hearing. I couldn’t figure out what in the world this could be about. Unless . . . she knew about Preston. That could be bad, but at least we were about to clear the air and I wouldn’t have to hide it from her anymore. Besides, I was positive once she got to know him she’d like him. She’d just never really spent any time with him.

  “I received an interesting call today from a friend of mine. It was someone who saw you today. On the beach.”

  It was about Preston.

  “So you know who I was with, then?”

  She nodded. “Preston Drake.”

  “Listen, Mom. I know you don’t approve of him. But all you know about him is that his mother is low class and he grew up rough. He has gotten into some trouble growing up, but he’s different now. If you’d just—”

  “He sleeps with women for money. He’s a gigolo, Amanda. A very well-paid one.”

  I busted into a fit of laughter. Where in the world had she heard that? It was ridiculous. How had she come up with something this insane?

  “This isn’t a joke, Amanda. I saw him.”

  She saw him? What the heck did that mean? How did she see him?

  “Mom, whatever it is you think you saw, you didn’t. Preston doesn’t sleep with women for money.”

  Mom walked over to the chair across from me. “I went to visit Janice. She had volunteered to do some work on the Sea Festival committee. She hadn’t been expecting me, and I noticed she seemed a little nervous. We talked over everything for about thirty minutes. When we stood up to leave and walked to the door, Preston Drake was sneaking up her staircase. He stopped and looked at me like a deer caught in the headlights. Janice got all flustered and made up something about Preston coming to fix her toilet. That boy was not there to fix her plumbing.”

  There had to be a better explanation. He wasn’t going up to the mayor’s bedroom to sleep with his wife for money. This was Sea Breeze, Alabama. Not Los Angeles. What had gotten into my mom?

  “You mean to tell me you think Preston was there to service Janice? That’s crazy, Mom. It is very likely he was there to help her fix her toilet. He does odd jobs sometimes.”

  My mother let out a weary sigh, and her face pinched into a frown. “I stood outside long after she closed the door, and I watched the window in her bedroom. Preston Drake was in there. He closed the curtain, and soon Janice’s shadow joined him.”

  “It was a shadow, Mom—”

  “I told Blanche about this the next day. I figured if anyone knew, she would. Blanche pays Preston for sex. She has been since she and Ken divorced. Apparently, he has a small, discreet client list among the wealthy women in this town. Preston is a high-priced gigolo who services attractive older women. He doesn’t do odd jobs, Amanda.”

  I was dreaming. I had to be dreaming. This was a nightmare, and I was about to wake up. I shook my head and stood up. I couldn’t sit here and listen to this. I didn’t believe it. Preston was too good. He would never lie to me about something this big.

  “I was worried you wouldn’t believe me. You fell for those pretty-boy looks of his. Why don’t you ask him? See what he says. Watch his reaction. Then you come back and tell me this is a lie.”

  I grabbed my keys off the hook beside the door and ran outside. Preston could explain this. Because this couldn’t be true.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Preston

  I’d been watching my phone for the past hour, waiting on Amanda to text me. After once again searching the job listings online, I’d come up empty handed. If I had taken welding in school, I’d have a job, that was for damn sure. If I didn’t need money right now, I’d go to school for welding. That way I could work hours that fit into my schedule and make more than enough money to cover our needs.

  A knock at the door interrupted my thoughts, and I put my phone down and grabbed a pair of discarded sweats. I jerked them on quickly and went to the door. It was after eleven. Who the hell was coming to see me so late?

  When I opened it, Amanda walked inside, pushing past me.

  “I have to ask you a question. It is going to sound ludicrous, but I need you to listen to me, and then you can explain how very wrong my mother is.”

  Her mother. No. God, no. I couldn’t say anything. My voice left me. This was not happening. Not now. I hadn’t had enough time to fix it.

  “Preston, you’ve gone pale.”

  I couldn’t look at her. She knew. She didn’t believe it, but she knew.

  “You’re scaring me. Preston, look at me.”

  I needed her to say it. “What did your mother tell you?”

  I was going to lie. I needed a lie to get out of this. I couldn’t lose her.

  “She said . . .” Amanda let out a frustrated sigh. “I can’t even believe I’m about to say this out loud.”

  She didn’t believe it. I could convince her it wasn’t true. I could tell her something else. The women I worked for wouldn’t want the truth out. They’d never back up her mother’s story.

  “Just tell me,” I urged, finally making eye contact with her.

  She ran her hand through her hair and looked over at the couch. “You want to sit down? It’s kind of unbelievable, and it may take awhile to explain.”

  Getting her farther away from the exit for her to go running out of was a good idea. “Sure.”

  I followed her over to the couch and sat down in the chair across from her. I wasn’t sure how this was going to play out, and sitting too close to her might be a bad idea. I also wanted to see her face.

  “My mom found out that you and I are seeing each other. Apparently, someone saw us at the beach today. She was upset, which I’d expected. But why she was upset was not at all something I’d expected.”

  She twirled a strand of hair around her finger nervously. “Mom saw you at the mayor’s house. Going upstairs . . .” She trailed off. She wanted me to say something. What could I say? There was no denying I’d been there. This was my chance to lie. To cover this mess up. But my mouth wouldn’t open. I couldn’t come up with one thing to say to ease her mind.

  “She said you were sneaking upstairs and that Janice was really nervous. Then after she left, she saw you through the bedroom window closing the curtains, and then she saw Janice’s shadow join you.”

  Again, it was my chance to lie to her. But I couldn’t. The lies wouldn’t come.

  “Preston, say something.”

  I realized, sitting there looking at her, that I loved her. I’d been right. When you love someone, you can’t lie to them. It hurts too much. It’s a deception that goes too deep.

  “I remember seeing her,” I finally replied.

  Amanda raised her eyebrows. “And? Were you in Janice’s bedroom?”

  The truth was going to rip my heart out, but it was what she deserved. What she’d always d
eserved.

  “Yes, I was.”

  Amanda didn’t say anything. She just sat there staring at me in shock. I knew she was waiting on some reason as to why I was in Janice’s bedroom other than what her mother had told her. I wished like hell I had a reason other than the truth.

  “My mom said Blanche Turner told her that she pays you to sleep with her. That many women do. Tell me that isn’t true, Preston. I don’t believe you’d do something like that.”

  I stood up because sitting down was impossible. This was the moment I’d feared since I’d let Amanda in. “I have classes and baseball, and three other mouths to feed, and a whole other house’s bills to pay. Three kids aren’t cheap. I have to make sure they’re fed and still keep my scholarship, which means I don’t miss baseball and I don’t fail classes. It’s more responsibility than most adults have, Manda.”

  Amanda stood up. “Are you telling me this is true? All this time, you’ve been leaving me to go screw other women for money?”

  “They mean nothing to me. They know it. There is no emotion. Just sex. It’s more money than I could make doing anything else. It keeps the kids taken care of, and I don’t have to worry about how I’m going to keep their electricity on or how I’m going to pay for braces or for new tires for my mom.”

  Amanda shook her head. The disbelief in her eyes sliced through me. “You never thought to tell me about this? How long have you been doing this?”

  “Three years.”

  “Three years? So you just started dating me and let me promise to be exclusive and that I wouldn’t be with anyone else, while you left me regularly to screw other women?”

  “No! It was just sex. I felt nothing for them. Ever. They were a job. That’s all they’ve ever been.”

  “But you didn’t tell me—”

  “I didn’t tell anyone, Manda. It’s not something I’m proud of. I tried to push you away. I tried to tell you I wasn’t good for you, but you wouldn’t stop. You kept getting close, and I wanted you so bad.”