by Ginny Dye
Carrie shook her head. “No, I’m not. And you know it. I couldn’t begin to run it without all of you helping me. I don’t know what I would do if the rest of the Cromwell people were to leave.”
“I don’t think you got to worry ‘bout any more folks leavin’. They figure on stayin’ right here.”
“Why?” Carrie asked. “Why don’t they go free while they have the chance? Why do they choose to stay in slavery?” She trusted Sam to be honest with her.
Sam looked at her for a moment. “Some people got too many fears inside to try and do somethin’ new. They talk ‘bout what they want, but they don’t put no action behind it.” He paused then continued. “I figure they’s some of them hopin’ things will be different ‘round here after the war.”
“Why? Who do they want to win?”
Sam shrugged again. “Depends on who you be talkin’ to. Somes wants the North to win. They figure they goin’ to come down here and set them all free. Then they won’t have to face a scary escape. It will just be done for them.”
“And some want the South to win?”
Sam nodded. “They’s not sure ‘bout them people up North. They don’t know what it will be like. They figure if they work hard here and the South done wins this war, that they will be treated better and given more rights as a kind of reward.”
Carrie couldn’t miss the contempt in his voice even though she knew he was trying to hide it. “What about you, Sam? Why do you stay?” It was a question she had been wondering about for a while. She had thought he would leave when Rose and Moses were gone.
Sam was silent for a long while. Finally he looked up. “I got me a job to do here, Miss Carrie. I won’t be goin’ nowhere till that job be done.”
“What kind of job is that?” Carrie was surprised at her own directness. She usually allowed the slaves their privacy. But she and Sam had grown close. With Rose and Moses gone, she depended more on his solid, kind strength.
Again Sam hesitated, opening his mouth as if he wanted to speak, and then shut it again.
“I’m sorry, Sam. I don’t mean to pry.”
Sam shook his head. “It be okay, Miss Carrie.” He looked at her with warmth in his eyes. “My job be to take care of you.”
Carrie stared at him. “What?”
Sam nodded. “I know all about Rose and your granddaddy. Been knowin’ bout it ever since Rose girl was born.” Carrie listened while he told his story. “Rose told me she was leavin’. She knew my old heart would break if she just disappeared. She was worried about you, Miss Carrie. I told her I would watch out for you.”
“You’re staying here just for me?” she whispered, her eyes flooded with tears as she battled her emotions. She was grateful Rose has asked Sam to look out for her. She didn’t know how she would have made it through the last two months without Sam. There was also sorrow that her faithful friend could be free if he didn’t feel responsible for her.
Sam smiled. “I wouldn’t been takin’ that job if I hadn’t wanted it, Carrie girl.”
Carrie smiled in return as he slipped away from the formal Miss Carrie. Then she shook her head. “I know I should just tell you to go on and find your freedom, but somehow I can’t bring myself to say it. I depend on you so much. You have become so special to me. I don’t want you to leave.” Then she frowned. “I’m afraid I’m being terribly selfish.”
Sam shook his head. “I don’t reckon you’re being selfish, Carrie girl. Ever’ body need someone to draw strength from. Wouldn’t do you no good to tell me to leave anyways. I don’t reckon I be movin’ on till I know you all right.” His tone left no room for argument.
Carrie gazed at him, tears once more swimming in her eyes. “Thank you,” she said softly. She knew she should say more, but the words just wouldn’t come.
Sam nodded and then changed the subject. “When you gonna want the big tree cut?”
Sam’s question brought Carrie back to the present. “I’m not going to have a tree this year, Sam.” She reached in her pocket and pulled out a letter. “This came from Father yesterday. He would like me to come to Richmond. I’m going to go.”
“When you leavin’?”
“Today is the fifteenth. I’m going to leave in three days. I would appreciate it if you would drive me.”
“Yessum,” Sam replied. Then he turned and disappeared into the house.
Carrie lingered on the porch and stared out over the brown pastures. The lush green of summer had been swallowed by the harshness of winter. The barren trees formed a stark border for the picture. And yet, still she loved it. No matter how much she wanted to leave someday to fulfill her dream, her heart would always be here at Cromwell Plantation. It grew more special to her every day.
She was glad her father had written for her to come to Richmond. There were too many memories from Christmases past to taunt her. Christmas had always been such a wonderful time for her. She was like a child when it came to decorating, entertaining and buying gifts. Too much had changed, though. Last Christmas her father, Robert, and Matthew had all been here to share in the joy. Now, her father was too busy in Richmond, Robert was on the front somewhere, and Matthew was still in prison.
Then her mind turned, as it did every day, to Rose and Moses. Had they made it to Philadelphia? Would she ever hear from them? Would she ever see them again? Carrie tried to shove down the ache in her heart, but it was harder today than other days. The year anniversary of her friend’s wedding had come and gone. Every time she made a trip to the quarters she had to look at the cabins that were once home to Sarah and Rose and Moses. Their emptiness echoed the emptiness in her own heart.
Finally Carrie faced what was eating at her. She was lonely. Being alone on the plantation had not bothered her before. Not when she had Rose and Moses to talk with, laugh with, learn with. Now it seemed as if every day stretched out before her endlessly. She found ways to keep busy, but the relative inactivity of the winter months weighed heavily. Every day had become a chore. Carrie frowned, not liking where her life was taking her.
“Miss Carrie, the children are ready to go on the hunt.”
Carrie turned quickly. “Thank you, Sam. I’m afraid I almost forgot.”
Sam frowned. “Your heart be too heavy for Christmas time. It prob’ly do you good to get out in the woods with the children.”
Carrie nodded and sighed. “I’m sure you’re right. It will be good to be with them.”
She had been with the children from the quarters only a few minutes when she could feel her spirits rising. Their excitement and enthusiasm were contagious. At first she had regretted saying she would take over Sarah’s job of leading the hunt. Now, with the slave children swarming around her, she was glad. She smiled down at them then cried out. “It’s time!” She turned and led the giggling bunch down the path.
Carrie kept a sharp eye on the woods as they walked. Suddenly she pointed up at a bunch of glistening yellow persimmons. It was too late in the year to find many of them, but the few they took back would be like golden treasures. As the children gathered around her, she knelt down on one knee and repeated the words she had heard Sarah say so many years.
“Chillun, we be finding gifts for Jesus like the Wise Men did. They brung the baby Jesus three gifts - gold, sweet smelling spices, and bitter herbs. Some of the very herbs and fruits we be findin’ now.”
The children giggled as she imitated Old Sarah. Carrie picked Jubal to climb for the golden treasure. His eyes shone bright with excitement and pleasure when she pointed at him. Quick as a wink, he shimmied up the tree and stretched out on the limb holding the fruit. All the children held their breath as they watched him wide-eyed. The limb bent under his weight as he reached for the late fruit. Instinctively, Carrie moved to stand under the limb. At least she could break the fall if the limb broke. With one final reach, Jubal nabbed the fruit and quickly retreated back toward the tree trunk with a wide grin on his face.
“He got it, Miss Carrie. My brother done got
the ‘simmons!”
Carrie leaned down to give the excited little girl a hug. “You’re right, Hannah. Jubal got it! He’s a very brave tree climber, isn’t he?” Hannah returned her hug with an even tighter one of her own and then danced away to meet her brother who was sliding back down the tree.
Carrie felt her loneliness lift from her like a cloud on a rainy day when the sun finally breaks through. Out here in Sarah’s world, where her old friend had taught her so much, she could hear Sarah’s voice clearly. “The only cure for loneliness be givin’. When you be givin’ you ain’t got time to think ‘bout what you don’t got. But you got to give with your heart - you got to give from your heart. That’s the only sure way to beat back that old demon o’ loneliness.”
“Thank you, Sarah,” Carrie murmured quietly as the children sprinted ahead of her. She walked along slowly, watching for the treasures they had come to seek but letting the woods work their magic on her. The peace she had been missing for so long began to creep back into her heart. Yes, her life was changing. But life was always like that.
“Girl, the only thing you can depend on is change. Things always gonna be changin’. But changing ain’t neither good nor bad. It’s what you do with it. You can fight it and let it get the best of you. You can feel sorry for yourself cause thin’s ain’t stayin’ just like they was. Or you can look for the good in what’s new. You can search for ways to make thin’s better. It’s all how you look at it - and what you figur’ to do with it.”
Once again Sarah’s words rang in her head. Solemnly, Carrie made a vow to spend more time in the woods. It was so easy to lose perspective when she was engulfed by the daily operations of the plantation. It was so easy to become overwhelmed. She knew she needed time alone to make sense of all that was happening in her life.
“Miss Carrie! Miss Carrie! We done found some of them berries Old Sarah said was magic!”
Carrie smiled down at Hannah’s glowing face as the little girl skipped up to her. She took her hand and began to run down the trail to where she could hear the other children. Her voice rang out in the clear air. “Let’s go get them, Hannah!”
Carrie gazed around her as Sam drove the carriage along Broad Street. She could already sense the difference in the city. Gone was the dour gloom that had prevailed in the city when she had left after the Battle of Bull Run. Gone was the stunned reality of the consequences of war. The dead had been mourned. The wounded had been nursed and sent back to the front. The reality of victory had replaced the reality of death. And it was Christmas!
People thronged Broad Street. The population had exploded even more since she was last there. Men in gray were everywhere. The buildup of the army continued. With no battle front, they joined the crowds already causing Richmond to bulge at the seams. Faces were happy and laughing.
Carrie watched as one handsome young man in uniform approached a tightly knit group of ladies on the corner. They watched him come and glanced coquettishly over their fans. Their brightly colored dresses, peeking from beneath their heavy coats, were a vivid splash against the dullness of the road.
“Good afternoon, ladies,” the young soldier said, his deep voice carrying to where Carrie sat in the carriage.
“Well, hello, soldier boy.” Carrie frowned at the sound of the woman’s voice. Surely its tone went beyond politeness. As she watched, the young lady standing closest to her took the soldier’s arm and smiled up at him. “Going my way, honey?” Then they began to walk down the street together, talking quietly.
Carrie watched and then shook her head. Things certainly were changing. She looked up to see Sam watching her.
He had a grin on his face. “I take it you never seen one of them new Richmond ladies before.”
Carrie was confused. “I’m not sure what you’re talking about, but she was a little brazen, I think.”
Sam nodded. “That be how they make their money.”
Carrie stared at him. “How they make their money...?” Suddenly she understood. “That young lady was a prostitute?” she gasped.
Sam nodded, turning his attention back to the road.
“But what are they doing on Broad Street? Oh, I’m not so naïve not to know they exist, but they’ve always stayed away from the nicer parts of town. Men who wanted that kind of entertainment had to go to it.”
“Looks like it be comin’ to them, now,” Sam said with a grin. “You put this many people in one place and things ain’t gonna be the same no more.”
Carrie gazed around her. “I guess you’re right,” she murmured.
Carrie kissed her father on the cheek and ran lightly out to the carriage waiting for her. “Good morning, Spencer. It’s good to see you again.”
“Thank you, Miss Cromwell. It be good to see you, too.” Spencer picked up the reins and clucked lightly to the team of horses. “You be back in Richmond for a while?”
“Just until after Christmas. Then I will return to the plantation. My father wanted me here for the holidays.”
“Christmas is made for families,” Spencer agreed. Then he looked back. “Mr. Cromwell told me you wanted to go to one of the prisons?”
“That’s right. The Officers’ Prison in the old Harwood Factory.”
Spencer merely nodded his head.
Carrie looked around her as the carriage rolled along. Not too far from her father’s house, people were hard at work transforming military barracks into the Chimborazo Hospital. From all Carrie had heard, it was going to be quite an impressive operation. Maybe... Impatiently she pushed down the longing in her heart. Her place was still on the plantation.
The day was bitterly cold with gray overcast skies and a stiff northern breeze. Her father had told her this morning he wouldn’t be surprised if they got snow. Carrie stared hopefully at the sky. Now that she was back in Richmond the Christmas season had gained some of its excitement for her. She had worked hard the last four days to transform her father’s house into a festive home. He had been thrilled to see the tree she had decided at the last minute to have Sam cut and bring along with them. They were going to decorate it together tonight. It was nowhere as big and impressive as the ones they usually had, but it would bring the spirit of Christmas into his home.
Now she was on her way to visit Matthew. His present was carefully wrapped beside her.
“We be here, Miss Cromwell.”
Carrie started and looked up. She had been so immersed in her thoughts she hadn’t even been aware of where they were. The prison district looked even more depressing on a day like today. As the cold wind whipped around the buildings, she glanced up at the open windows and shuddered. Those men must be freezing.
She looked at Spencer as she stepped from the carriage. “I expect I will be at least forty-five minutes. It is much too cold for you to wait here for me.” She paused and almost smiled at Spencer’s look of surprise. Then she continued. “You may go find somewhere warm if you would like. I will meet you back here at eleven-thirty.”
“Thank you, Miss Cromwell,” Spencer said warmly, his eyes speaking his gratitude.
The guard who answered the door in response to Carrie’s knock was a new one. She wondered whether she would have the same trouble as the first time but need not have worried. He carefully read the letter she handed him and stepped aside to let her enter. “I will notify Lieutenant Todd.”
Carrie waited in the hallway and shivered from the damp chill of the building. She gripped her gift to Matthew tightly.
“Hello, again, Miss Cromwell.”
“Good morning, Lieutenant Todd,” Carrie replied pleasantly. The man standing before her looked as if his months in charge of the prisoners had done nothing to improve his state of mind. While he had kept his voice pleasant, his eyes spoke his disdain. He didn’t attempt to hide it with his next statement.
“I understand you are here to molly coddle one of our prisoners again.”
“Those are not the words I would choose, Lieutenant,” Carrie replied evenly.<
br />
Todd smirked and then merely nodded as if he had no stomach for a parley of words today. “I will have Justin called for you. Good day,” he said abruptly and turned to reenter his office.
The guard led Carrie to the same room she had visited Matthew in before. She had no idea what to expect. When the door opened again, she quickly rose to her feet. She almost groaned aloud when she saw Matthew, but she managed to force a smile to her lips instead.
He saw right through her. Moving forward to take both of her hands, he smiled down at her. “I know I look bad. You don’t have to pretend.”
Carrie shook her head and squeezed his hands warmly. “You still have a sparkle in your eyes. I’m glad to see that at least.”
Matthew had lost too much weight since she had last seen him. He had had none to spare then. His skin was pale and dull from his long months of confinement. His hair had grown long and scraggly but was pulled back from his face, accentuating the sharp contrast of his sunken cheeks, which were now sporting a thick red beard. The clothes he wore were inadequate to protect him from the harsh weather. Yet, still his bearing was erect, and his eyes and voice were strong. Prison life may have been hard on his body, but his spirit had not been conquered.
“Merry Christmas,” she said with a smile. “I brought you a present.”
Matthew reached for it, his eyes clouding just a moment. “It seems like a different life than the one last year. I can hardly believe it was just one year ago that I was sharing Christmas with you and your father and Robert on your plantation.” He paused and then looked at the package. “Thank you.”
“Open it,” Carrie urged. She wanted him to have what was in the package.
Matthew nodded and tore into the package. Seconds later he gave a whoop of delight. “A coat!”
“Put it on, Matthew.” She was glad he liked her gift. She had thought long and hard before selecting it. Finally she had remembered the open-air windows and hunted down the warmest coat she could find.
Matthew put it on quickly. Then he stared at Carrie. Carrie returned his stare and then dissolved into laughter at the same time he did. The coat looked like it had swallowed him.
