by Cole Lepley
“Not yet, but Tess has been asking a lot of questions about the money.”
His nostrils flare. “You still didn’t tell her?”
I give a sheepish smile and his eyes narrow. “I know I should have, but every time I worked up the nerve all I could picture was the look of disappointment on her face. I fucking hate doing this to her.” I lean back in the metal chair. “I can’t do it anymore.”
“Good,” he says. “You should feel bad. She’s your wife. I would never keep something that important from Sloan.”
“Speaking of Sloan, have you talked to her?”
He shakes his head slightly, his jaw tense. After a moment, he shrugs. “I told her not to wait for me, but I didn’t think she’d listen. I honestly didn’t.”
I fidget with the sleeve of my hoodie, not meeting his eyes. I try not to bring her up, but a selfish part of me wants them to be together when he gets out. “She doesn’t come home a lot anymore, at least I haven’t seen her.” When I look up at him, the broken expression on his face kills me. “Did you try to call her?”
“No,” he says, releasing a forceful breath. “I write her letters, but I’ve only sent a couple of them. I don’t want to make this hard on her if she’s trying to move on.” He lifts his arm and motions around the room. “Not much I can fucking do about it in here.”
“You’re almost done. Six more months and you’ll have your parole hearing and they’ll let you out.”
He shrugs again. “Maybe.”
I glance back at the clock on the wall. I’m running out of time and I have so much left to say. For some reason this visit feels urgent, like I may never get the chance to tell him after I leave.
“I need you to do something for me.”
He laughs, folding his arms across his chest. “Well, I’m limited in what I’m capable of, but I’ll try.”
I take a breath. “If something happens to me, I want you to look after Tess. I know you would anyway, but it’ll give me a peace of mind if I hear you say it.”
Perry leans forward, lowering his voice. “Don’t talk like that. It’s bad enough that I’m stuck in here where I can’t protect you. I don’t need to worry about that shit too.”
“I’m sorry,” I say, swallowing hard. “But I need to know that she’ll be okay.”
The muscle in his jaw starts to tick when he sits back upright. His eyes harden. “You know I would, but that’s not going to be necessary. You’re going to get the fuck out and stay out. When I get home, everything will be the way it should’ve been all along. No more shady shit, no more fucking secrets.”
I nod. “I agree.”
Perry looks over my shoulder and sighs. “My time’s up.” He reaches over and pats me on the arm. “Let me know how it goes. If you need anything, I have some new contacts that may be able to help you.”
I smile. “I’ll be fine. Everything’s golden, right?”
Perry chuckles. “Something like that.”
When I make it back to the shop, Tess is hunched over the computer with her eyebrows knitted together. I take off my jacket and walk up behind her and kiss the side of her head.
“Something wrong, babe?”
Her big blue eyes are clouded with worry. “I was trying to do the deposit for the week but the numbers aren’t coming out right.” She motions to the screen. “There’s like ten thousand extra dollars I can’t account for.”
My stomach drops. I’m usually the one who takes care of this. I’ll need to talk fast to keep her from figuring it out before I get the chance to come clean.
“I did that full back piece earlier this week,” I say casually.
She raises an eyebrow. “Yeah, but did you charge him ten grand for it?”
I start walking toward the stairs so she can’t see my face. “No, I don’t remember how much it was.”
“Walker.” Her voice is a warning that I’ve heard too many times to count. She sees through my lies, but doesn’t always call me out on them. I’m starting to get the impression her patience with me is wearing pretty thin.
I turn back around, flashing her a smile in an attempt to warm her over. “Come upstairs with me, we’ll figure it out later.”
She pushes forcefully up from her stool. “No, we’ll talk about it now.” She walks over and gets inches from my face. “I don’t want to do this anymore.”
I feel like all the air has been forced out of my lungs. If she leaves me, I’ll lose the one person in this world I can’t live without.
I shake my head, placing my hands on her shoulders. “Tess, I swear I’m done. I just have to make one last deal and I can walk away.”
Her eyes flare in anger and she tries to pull away from me. I catch her and tug her back by her arm. “Babe, I’m serious.” Her eyes are already filling with tears and it literally rips me apart. I hug her to me so tight it almost has to be painful—but I can’t help it. I’m losing her and I feel powerless to stop it.
“Please,” I beg. “I know I don’t have the right to ask you to trust me, but I really need you to right now.”
She tenses in my arms before pushing herself away. She steps around me and shoots me a glare before walking up the stairs. “You’re right, I don’t trust you.” She sighs, and then mutters under her breath, “You never give me a reason to.”
When her footsteps disappear at the top of the stairs, I reach for my jacket again. I have to end this now before it’s too late. I’m terrified to come home one day and find her gone. I could never live with that and it would be all my fault.
I wait nervously at the drop off point across town. I’m early so Robby shouldn’t be here for at least ten more minutes. I lean against the side of my jeep and pull my phone out of my pocket. My fingers scroll to Tess’s number and I hit send. I hold my breath as it rings and let out a string of profanities when it goes to voicemail. She must really be mad because she always answers. I close my eyes when I hear the beep to leave a message.
“Hey, babe. I know you’re upset but I just wanted to let you know I’ll be home soon. I promise things will be better now. I know I have a lot to prove to you, but you’re my everything. I should have put you first and I didn’t, and I’m sorry. I’m going to make it up to you.” I sigh and then add, “I love you.”
I end the call and shove my phone back in my pocket. Hopefully she listens to message and decides I’m worthy of another chance. I’m not sure how many I get until I run out of them.
Headlights flash in front of me, blinding me for a moment. I shield my eyes with my forearm, when an unfamiliar vehicle pulls up and comes to a stop. The lights flick off, but the ignition stays running. When a guy steps out, my pulse begins to quicken. My fingers itch to reach for the gun secured in my back pocket, but I hold off.
He strolls toward me causally, dressed in a black hoodie and dark jeans. When he gets beside me, he nods. “I’m here for Robby. He had a prior engagement that needed his attention.”
Fully alert, I look back to the vehicle and then to him. “I’ve never seen you before.”
He grins, popping a cigarette into his mouth. “I’m new.”
I watch as he lights it and takes a slow drag, eyeing me the entire time. Alarm bells are going off in my head. This doesn’t seem right.
“I need to hear that from him.”
He shrugs, and then leans against the side of my jeep. “Call him. I’ll wait.”
With another skeptical look, I reach for my phone. I’m momentarily distracted by the fact that I have no missed calls or texts. I scroll to his number and hit send, keeping my eye on the guy leaning on my ride. When it goes to voicemail, I hang up without leaving a message.
“He’s not answering,” I say, shoving my phone back in my pocket. “We’ll have to set this up for another time.”
He nods like it’s no big deal before pushing off the side of my jeep. “All right then.” He takes a step, but then turns back to me. “Oh, one more thing.”
I laugh once. “What’s that?
”
He flicks his cigarette to the ground, his mouth curling into a smile. Before I can react, I hear a click from behind me and the cold metal of a barrel presses firmly to the side of my head.
“I’m sending a message to Robby. Your body will deliver it.”
I thought when it happened I might beg, plead—do something. But in the end, only one word leaves my lips.
Tess.
40
Nothing But Trouble
Perry- Now
My brain hurts. What could possibly be left that Walker didn’t tell me? I rub a hand over my jaw while Robby waits for a response, a slightly amused expression on his face.
“What did he do?” I ask finally.
Robby smiles. “What didn’t he do?” He leans against the counter as if we’re having a friendly chat. “Your boy fucked up a lot of shit when he got taken out. He never made the last drop and I have yet to recover it.”
I laugh. “That’s your fucking problem. I’ve been done for a while now.”
“You could look at it that way,” he says, standing up straighter. His eyes narrow when they meet mine. “Or you could be smart about this and see that it is your fucking problem. We find the guy that murdered Walker, we find my money, and as a bonus I’ll let you kill him.” He shrugs. “Your choice.”
My teeth clench together so tight they almost crack. After a quick glance to the stairs, I turn back to him. “All right. What do you want me to do?”
His smile widens. “I thought you’d see things my way.” He pats me on the shoulder and turns for the door. “We’ll be in touch.”
The bell clangs as he exits and I release the breath I was holding. My insides are so twisted I feel like I’m going to be sick. I clasp my hands on top of my head and inhale slowly through my nose. A door slamming causes me to jump. I turn around to a very angry-looking Tess.
She seethes at me from the foot of the stairs. “You’ll be in touch? What exactly is that supposed to mean?”
My chest caves in around my lungs and I can’t breathe for a moment. I don’t want to lie to her, but I also know that Walker didn’t tell her everything. Laundering money was only part of it. He was still dealing on the side. The last thing I want to do is tarnish his memory more. She doesn’t need that. I want to her to remember the good in Walker, not his biggest downfall.
I shake my head. “It’s not what you think…”
“Oh my God, Perry!” she cries, throwing her hands up. “Do you have any idea how many times I’ve heard that?” She takes a step closer, her hand shaking as she points her finger at me. “Do not lie to me. I swear I will throw you out right now and never speak to you again.”
The lump in my throat tightens. “Tess,” I say calmly. “I need you to listen me. Can you do that for a moment? Please.”
I place a hand over my heart, breathing heavier than normal. Her shoulders shrug slightly, but her face remains rigid.
I take another shallow breath. “I feel responsible for what happened to Walker, and you can say whatever you want about it not being my fault, but I know otherwise. It started because of me.”
Her brows knit together, but I keep going.
“It was unintentional at first, but it was my idea to keep going through the summer. After that,” I pause, shaking my head. “We were already in too deep. It just kept snowballing until I couldn’t pull us out anymore.” I take a step closer to her, longing to touch her—but I hold back when I see the anger still on her face. “This is all because of me.”
A tear slips down her cheek. “You’re lying. Don’t protect him because you think that’s what you need to do.”
“I’m not.”
She bites her lip to keep it from trembling. “I don’t believe you.”
I shrug, throwing my hands out to my sides and then letting them fall. “It’s the truth and now I need to finish this.”
“How?” she breathes.
“I promised that I wouldn’t lie to you.”
“So, you’re not going to tell me anything?”
Every muscle in my body is tense as I stare back at her. No matter what I do, I’m going to hurt her. I’ve sacrificed my own integrity so fucking much to protect Walker and I know I need to do it one last time.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper. My voice is broken as I reach forward and cup her cheek with my hand softly. “I fucking can’t.”
She turns her eyes away from me, swallowing back a fresh set of tears. “Nothing you do can bring him back.” Another one falls when she looks back at me. “And I can’t watch you kill yourself trying.”
My heart pounds so hard I can feel it in my throat. “What are you saying?” I press my forehead to hers, gripping her arms. “Don’t make me choose.”
“I lost you once and it nearly broke me. It felt like a part of me was missing, and I hated it so much. You promised you wouldn’t leave again.”
With determination, I grab both sides of her face so she can see the sincerity in my eyes. “I’m not leaving.”
Tess shakes her head. “Anything that Robby wants you to do won’t end well.”
“You have to trust me.”
She inhales a sharp breath and pulls back from me. The hatred in her eyes catches me by surprise. “The last time someone told me that they didn’t come back.”
My heart literally feels like it’s about to tear straight through my chest. She wraps her arms around herself, still trembling and unwilling to accept my reasoning.
“It won’t be like that for me. I’ll come back.” I look her dead in the eyes, willing her to believe me—to give me a chance to make this right.
After only a brief moment of contemplation, she shakes her head firmly. “No.”
“No?”
“I want you to leave.”
My stomach drops further and I take a step. She counters me and shifts toward the stairs again.
“You don’t mean that.”
“I do,” she says, her voice firm. Her hand points to the door, steadier than it was moments ago. “Just go, Perry. I warned you what would happen, and you didn’t listen.” She lowers her hand and continues to glare in my direction. “And now I’m done. I’m so fucking done with this and since you insist on being a part of it, I’m done with you too.”
When I make a move to reach for her again, she shoves me in the chest and I stumble back. “Get out!”
Pulling my hands back, I take a shaky breath. “Okay, I’ll go.” As I move for the door, she doesn’t wait for me to leave. Her footsteps rain up the stairs until they disappear. I can’t think about anything right now except for what I have to do. There’s nobody left to avenge Walker’s death, so once again, everything falls on my shoulders. The weight is crushing but I’ve been bearing it for so long I don’t remember what it feels like not to.
Three days and not a word from Robby—or Tess. I haven’t tried to call her either, but that’s only because I know her. I pushed her past the point of being rational and now I can only pray that when this all ends she’ll find a way to forgive me.
It’s actually not the only problem I have right now. Back when me and Sloan broke up every other week, there was a girl I used fill the void with. Stacy’s hot as fuck, but crazier than a shithouse rat. I know it was wrong, but I would basically just meet her somewhere, fuck her, and then send her on her way until the next time I felt lonely again. Was it a dick thing to do? Sure, but I was young and really fucking stupid.
Where I really went wrong is when I got out of prison. Eighteen months shacked up with dudes does something to you. I ran into her at the gas station in town and that’s all it took. Five minutes later she was deepthroating my cock parked behind the Frosty Freeze. Classy, I know—but I didn’t want to her take back to my place. At the time I was assuming she didn’t know where I lived, but now I don’t have to wonder anymore. I’m currently crouched down in my own bushes hiding while my sister’s boyfriend, Judah, tries to get rid of her. He’s staying with me while they are visiting f
or Thanksgiving break.
I saw Mack go up the stairs a few minutes ago as well. She must have heard the commotion, or she saw me jump from a second story window to escape.
I press my thumb and forefinger into the corners of my eyes and try to figure out how I got myself here. Of all the things I deal with on a daily basis, I wish just one of them could go right without turning into some kind of disaster.
A couple minutes later, I see Stacy stomping down the stairs of my apartment. She stalks off to her car, muttering to herself the entire way. I wait until she pulls down the road before hurrying back up the stairs.
I smirk at Mack when I glide into the room as if nothing happened. She shoots me a look of disapproval after I make lewd remark about my discarded guest. I’m actually glad she came over. On top of everything else, we still haven’t figured out how to deal with this Sean situation. After their confrontation at the party, Mack learned Sean kept the old videos he made on his phone and threatened to post them online if she doesn’t get back with him.
Judah stole that phone at the frat party and the fucker is still contacting her. I need to put an end to him. I have enough to worry about.
Reasoning with Mack is kind of like reasoning with Tess. They’re so stubborn and determined to do things on their own that they put themselves in danger. I pull her aside and we step out onto the front balcony.
She pulls her jacket tighter around her and lets out a puff of air. “What’s up with you?” she asks, eyeing me carefully.
I light a cigarette and keep my features neutral. “I’m fine.” I inhale deeply and she rolls her eyes.
“Why is it okay for you to lie to me, but I can’t lie to you?”
I laugh once, smoke curling out of my nose. “Because when you lie, you’re usually putting yourself in a situation you shouldn’t fucking be in. It’s my job to help you make smart choices.”
She laughs loudly and then covers her mouth with her hand. “I’m sorry. That was rude.”
