His to Hold

by Jessie Pinkham

  “It depends on my mood. Are those lechi torts?”

  “Yes.” Now Cole was glad he’d picked them up. Lechi torts were a specialty made from a fruit native to Tusnua, which most people loved and a few vehemently hated, so it had been a risk. “Miniature lechi torts, for easy game day consumption.”

  “You have good taste in snacks.”

  “I’m glad you think so. I also brought mixed candied nuts and cheese crackers.”

  “If you’re trying to impress me, it worked.”

  Cole smiled. “I’m glad.”

  “Do you have a drink preference? Water, beer, fruit punch, juice?”

  “How about one beer and then I’ll switch to water.” Normally he’d have two beers without a problem, but he opted to err on the side of caution.

  While they carried refreshments to the living room he asked, “Who are you cheering for?”

  “The Raptors, of course. Don’t tell me you’re a Sand Devils fan.”

  “Guilty as charged. They were my home team growing up.”

  Aiden made a show of considering the information, pursing his lips as though in deep thought. “Well, you did bring lechi torts, so I suppose you can stay.”

  “Good. I’d hate to think I came all this way for nothing.”

  Onscreen the pregame activities had already started, with commentators comparing players’ statistics and noting the air conditions that could impact play. “Did you ever play?” asked Cole.

  “Hover soccer? I tried, and it didn’t go well. I was on the traditional two-dimension soccer team all through school, though. What about you?”

  “I played water polo. I’d have loved to play hover soccer, but I’m dreadful at it.”

  “Fit guys with no shirts and skimpy swim bottoms.” Aiden grinned. “I have no problem watching that, if you’d like.”

  Cole liked the attitude. “When it’s the season, absolutely.”

  “When did you move to New Kilkenny?”

  “Almost five years ago, for my job. Do you plan to stay around here?” Because Cole liked his job, and moving near Aiden would mean a long commute.

  “I’m flexible, as long as I’m not in the equatorial region because I think I’d melt there. I’ve been accepted into the University of New Kilkenny. They have an excellent advanced geology program.”

  Cole wondered if that had anything to do with Max looking to fix them up. “It’s a nice area. I like being on the coast, and it’s a good size for a city. Big enough to have everything you want without being so big you can walk for blocks without seeing green grass.”

  “It seemed pleasant when I visited to check out the university,” Aiden said.

  They loaded up their plates with snacks while one of the commentators droned on, “The upper limits of the play space are experiencing low wind currents, which might work to the Raptors’ benefit as the Sand Devils’ upper goalie, Tom McNamara, does his best with strong wind currents…”

  “I’m looking forward to attending live games again,” said Aiden.

  That answered one of Cole’s questions, and it was the answer he’d hoped for, because he enjoyed attending sports games. “There’s always great energy at the games, even if the seats aren’t as comfortable.”

  “And the food is overpriced.”

  “That too.”

  “Maybe it’s just wishful thinking,” said Aiden, “but when I’m at a game I feel part of it somehow.”

  “Right. When you’re in the crowd, you’re part of it, cheering on your team and all that.” Cole loved that feeling, especially when his team was winning.

  “What else do you do for fun?” asked Aiden. “I know you dive, and you like hover soccer and water polo.”

  “I juggle.”

  Some people thought juggling was a silly hobby. Happily, Aiden wasn’t one of them. “Why are you nervous about telling me you juggle?”

  “I’ve been told it’s a dumb hobby a few too many times.”

  Aiden waved his hand in dismissal. “That’s absurd. The entire point of a hobby is to bring happiness. Productivity and practicality are concerns for work, not for fun. Sometimes I carve eggshells, and there’s nothing useful about it. I like the challenge; it’s something I can get absorbed in when I want to pay less attention to emotions.”

  “I didn’t know carving eggshells is even possible. I’m lucky if I can crack an egg without getting specks of the shell in the bowl.” High-end kitchen drones would do that for you, if you could afford them. Cole couldn’t, so he made do with basic kitchen equipment, cracked his own eggs, and looked forward to reaching senior architect paygrade.

  “I’ll confess to breaking my share of shells when I started,” said Aiden. “My great-aunt has carved eggshells for decades, and she recommended it as an absorbing activity. Look, Brandt is back.”

  Sure enough, the best Sand Devils player on the team was back after a sprained ankle had benched him for the beginning of the season. Cole watched the players test out their flight gear and said happily, “Now we have a better chance against your Raptors.”

  “Maybe.” Aiden didn’t sound convinced and probably made the concession only to be polite. After a drink of beer, he said, “Time will tell.”

  ****

  Time ended up telling that Aiden was right to be skeptical about the Sand Devils. Even though his team lost, Cole enjoyed his date with Aiden, and he wanted more, which required accepting Aiden’s empathy. To even begin thinking about life—the rest of his life—with Aiden, he needed to understand more about empathy and being an anchor.

  Therefore, when the game was over, he reluctantly initiated that conversation. “Is it okay if I ask you some questions? I don’t have experience with empaths, at least that I know about.”

  He didn’t say, “I need to know if I could live with losing so much privacy.” Maybe it went without saying, but in any case, just thinking about empathy and being an anchor was still scary enough to outweigh arousal. If it was just sex appeal, he’d never have come back. No, this was more. He liked Aiden as a person, which was why he was there trying to get his head around the empathy.

  Aiden looked like he’d expected this. “By all means.”

  Now Cole had permission, and he didn’t know where to start. Simply asking what it was like to be an empath sounded lame, so he finally settled on. “Is it easy to tell what emotions are other people’s?”

  “Yes, now. It wasn’t for the first six months or so, which you can imagine was a challenging time.”

  “And it’s only one way.”

  “Yes. I’m not entirely convinced that projecting empaths even exist. They might be an urban legend, because I’ve never come across any solid evidence for that ability, nor anyone in the empath community who was a projecting empath.”

  Cole decided to get to the heart of the matter. “What exactly do you need from an anchor?”

  “On a day-to-day basis, nothing you wouldn’t expect with any other partner. The difference being, of course, that an anchor bond is permanent. The only way to break it is if the anchor dies, in which case the empath doesn’t have long to find another anchor or they risk going mad from overstimulation. During times of heightened emotions, or in crowds, an empath wants to stick close to their anchor. The whole idea is that we have one person to focus on so we are better able to ignore the empathic input we’re bombarded with constantly.”

  “I’ve never understood how that helped. You’re still picking up everyone else, right?”

  “Always. I can’t turn off empathy, only work on methods to manage and minimize it.”

  Cole nodded. “The things you don’t like calling shields.”

  “Exactly. An anchor is someone it’s safe to focus on, someone comfortable and familiar that I can channel empathic senses toward so other people become background emotion.”

  “And that works over distances?”

  “Yes, though interstellar distances can be very taxing, I’ve heard.”

  “You’re still op
en to research trips, though.”

  “I don’t want to be defined solely by my empathy.” When Cole wondered if his questions were offensive, Aiden seemed to realize it. “I expected you’d have questions. That’s fine.”

  “Oh, good.”

  Aiden grabbed another lechi tort. “What else?”

  “It sounds like you’d be a pretty regular husband, then.”

  “I wouldn’t be hideously needy every day, if that’s what you mean. The big difference is large crowds, or emotional events such as funerals, where I’ll need my anchor nearby to function my best.”

  It didn’t seem like being an anchor required a lot besides a lifelong commitment, which was plenty. Well, there was also the “not being a power-hungry bastard” aspect, which Cole thought they should touch upon. “Does it make you nervous that you’ll want your anchor to be happy?”

  “Of course. Nobody likes the idea of wanting to please someone. However, in the last few decades we’ve learned some new techniques that help.”

  “How?” asked Cole.

  “It’s all about tolerating negative emotions. The more I can do that, the less I’ll feel compelled to make my anchor happy no matter the personal cost. Still, the reason I haven’t found an anchor yet is that I’m being very choosy, in large part because everyone who’s actively looking to be an anchor has made me uneasy. It’s very difficult to lie to an empath, you understand.”

  “I thought it was impossible.” As far as Cole knew, the original reason for engineering empathy was to create living lie detectors who would give the Human Union an edge when negotiating peace with the Xtch’taruon Alliance, a diplomatic process which took two generations.

  “I wouldn’t go that far. Get me overwhelmed with too many emotions and you could probably slip a lie past me. Then, of course, we have the people who have convinced themselves they’re telling the truth, so the deception isn’t obvious.”

  They’d covered the basics, and Cole didn’t want the conversation to turn into an interrogation about empathy. “What else do you want from life?”

  Aiden’s slight smile indicated the change of subject was a good call. “We talked about a family and travel. I also want to be published in the Union Geological Review. That’s the most prestigious academic journal for geology. I’d like to work on an interspecies geology project, and I want to keep learning my whole life. Nothing in particular, just as long as I never stop learning.”

  “I like to read about different periods in history,” Cole said. “There’s always more to learn. Sometimes I delve into architectural history, but the early days of space exploration are my favorite.”

  “See, there’s something I could learn about at some point. I want to live a full life, so when I’m old and looking back I don’t regret just letting my life pass me by. It’s not that I have a long to-do list so much as wanting to live to the fullest and avoid complacency.”

  “You don’t want to be one of those people who stops living and just exists.”

  Aiden nodded, pleased. He had a really nice smile and the tiniest little dimple on his left cheek. “Exactly.”

  “I know what you mean there.” In fact, his grandparents were firmly in the “just existing” category, and Cole found them depressing that way. “It’s one of the things I enjoy about diving. It’s different every time, depending on the fish and sea creatures I see, and it always thrills me to watch this completely different world, one that doesn’t care about life on land at all.”

  “I can understand that from a snorkeling perspective.”

  “You know what else?” Cole asked rhetorically. “At least once in my life I want to see the Union Cup in person.”

  “Doesn’t every soccer fan?”

  “Probably.” Watching the best soccer players from all over the Human Union was about as exciting as the game got. “It’d be even better if a Tusnuan team was playing.”

  “If your Sand Devils want to see the Union Cup any time soon they’d better practice their offense more,” said Aiden. “They have a good defense, but that doesn’t do them much good when they can’t score.”

  “You’re right. I hate it, but you’re right.” Determined not to let the conversation slide without some dig at the Raptors, Cole said, “The Raptors need to stop relying on Donahue so much. Their entire strategy is built around him, so if he’s injured they’re done for.”

  “That may be true, but you can’t argue with the results today.”

  “Today, no. Next game might be a different story.”

  The soccer talk stopped when they heard the door open.

  “We’re home,” Patrick announced.

  Cole wondered if that was his cue that the date was over. Better safe than sorry, he decided, and he stood to take his leave.

  Part of him still felt this bonding timeline was absurd, and yet he couldn’t deny that he enjoyed spending time with Aiden, nor his attraction to the younger man. Therefore, he said, “I’d like to see you next weekend.”

  This earned him a heartwarming smile from Aiden. “I’d like that as well.”

  “Do you have any interest in an aerial tour of the continent?” Cole thought it would be neat, and it didn’t seem like a situation where Aiden would be bombarded with lots of emotions. The shuttle was even piloted remotely so it’d just be the two of them.

  “I’ve never done that. It sounds fun.”

  “I’ll check for a reservation and call you.”

  “I look forward to hearing from you,” said Aiden.

  Cole debated leaning in to see if Aiden would be amenable to a quick kiss, until Patrick entered the room. Maybe next date.

  Chapter Four

  Aiden looked really good when Cole arrived for their next date. He had on an emerald green shirt, which fit snugly and emphasized his toned upper body. They also brought out the green in his eyes, but Cole was far less focused on that detail because he loved a nicely formed chest and Aiden’s was splendid.

  “This shirt was a good choice, I take it.” Aiden’s voice was amused as he took in Cole’s reaction.

  “Very,” said Cole, dragging his eyes back up to meet the other man’s. “You look great, though I guess you already figured that out.”

  “I don’t mind hearing it. You look good yourself, by the way.”

  “Thanks.” He’d chosen a navy shirt to complement his blue eyes, and tight khaki pants because he felt his ass was his best feature. “Ready to go get a different perspective on the area?”

  “Yes.”

  “Should I order a private shuttle to take us to the transit station?” Normally Cole would save his money and walk, but he didn’t have to worry about empathic overload.

  “No. I’ll be all right. It’s a short walk and not a very busy time of day. I appreciate the offer, though.”

  They had a beautiful clear day for their excursion, so the walk was pleasant. “Did you see the Sand Devils won last night?” asked Cole.

  “Someone must’ve reminded them that it’s easier to win if you actually score goals.”

  “It was probably in some of the messages from irate fans.”

  Aiden considered the idea. “Do the players actually read those?”

  “I don’t know. Once in a while you read about sick kids getting letters back, so someone has to read them.”

  “I wonder if that’s somebody’s job.”

  “If it is, I bet it’s a fun job when they’re winning and a really terrible job when they’re losing,” said Cole. “Unless they have a computer program that just scans the messages for them and flags any worth reading.”

  “That’s probably what they do.”

  At the transit station they made their way to the aerial tour company’s terminal, discussing sports and crazy fans the entire trip until Cole needed to speak with the customer service representative, a bored-looking teenager. “Reservation for two. Cole Gallagher.”

  She hit a few buttons on her computer screen and nodded. “The continental tour. Right
this way, please.”

  They followed her down a short hallway that led to a hangar. She opened the door of a shuttle with a transparent bottom, as Cole had sprung for that slightly more impressive option. “In a couple of minutes your pilot will come online,” she said. “He’ll run through a few safety measures with you, and then you’ll have the option to have your tour with commentary or without. In the meantime, please secure your safety belts for takeoff. Your pilot will tell you when you can remove them and will ask you to secure them again prior to landing. Enjoy your tour.”

  “It’s a beautiful day for a tour,” said Aiden. “This was a good idea.”

  Cole smiled. “I’m glad you think so.”

  It really was a good idea. Soon they were soaring over the city and then upstream, over the series of waterfalls for which the region was known. They’d elected to skip the commentary, a choice which Cole thought gave the whole date a much more intimate feel.

  “This clear floor is great,” Aiden said, watching the river beneath his feet. “I’ve seen the waterfalls countless times, but never like this. Look, you can even see the eagles feasting.”

  Sure enough, they could just make out copper eagles swooping into the tamer streams of water to grab fish, which were helplessly tumbling over the falls.

  “When I was little I wanted a pet copper eagle.” Aiden shook his head at his own youthful foolishness. “I was convinced my parents were just being mean when they told me I couldn’t have one.”

  “I’m more of a dog person,” said Cole. “Which works out, because dogs are domesticated.” Humanity had taken its companion animals as it spread across the stars, mainly dogs and cats with some other pets as well. Rabbits were currently in vogue for reasons Cole didn’t grasp.

  “Do you have a dog?”

  “No. Had them growing up, but my apartment is small for a larger dog, and I prefer large dogs, so I’m waiting for a bigger place.”

  Aiden considered this for a minute. “I’ve never had pets other than fish. My parents aren’t pet people, so I’m looking forward to having one eventually. Alas, not a copper eagle.”

  “An eagle would probably screech and keep you up all night anyway.”