His to Hold

by Jessie Pinkham

  Now Maud was swiping away tears and smiling, while her husband clapped Cole on the back and said, “Welcome to the family, Cole.”

  Cole nodded and turned his attention back to Aiden, because he couldn’t imagine what his man was going through right now. “How can I help, Aiden?”

  “Can we sit? I’m exhausted.”

  Of course he was. First, he was kidnapped, and now his empathic abilities were accelerated beyond what he was used to dealing with. Cole led the way to a couch. “Whatever you need.”

  “I’ll get you a ride home,” said Prescott. “We can take your statement later.”

  “Thank you,” said Aiden.

  “Did you know about the foralkenoid?” Cole asked the detective. “Is that why you said I should come?”

  “There’s a new supplier out there, so we’ve seen increased usage in empath abductions. I knew it was a possibility.” She walked away, leaving them in semi-privacy.

  Aiden spoke quietly. “I love you, Cole, and I was so afraid I’d bond with him. Then I was afraid you wouldn’t be ready to make the commitment.”

  Cole kissed the side of his forehead. “I was going crazy at the thought of you bonding with some bastard, and not just because of the violation. You deserve an anchor who appreciates you, who loves you and wants you to be happy. I want it to be me.” Maybe it took more than it should’ve to get Cole’s doubts to disappear, but here they were, and he wasn’t backing away now. His doubts were gone, vanquished by the knowledge of how much he wanted, needed Aiden in his life.

  Cole hadn’t let himself think about loving Aiden before, but now that he’d said the word he realized just how true it was. That was why he’d been so enraged at the thought of anyone else as Aiden’s anchor, why it hurt so much to see Aiden struggling and be utterly unable to ease his burden.

  “I wish this could be a happier occasion. As it is I’m getting so much empathic input I could go mad.”

  “I’m sorry,” said Cole, the words entirely inadequate. “You’ve already been through so much. Can I help at all?”

  “Try to focus on positive emotions.”

  “Like relief that you’re here?”

  “That’s a good one, yes.”

  “I can do that. I think that’s our driver. Let’s get you home.”

  Cole supported Aiden as they walked. Maud, meanwhile, wouldn’t let her son out of her sight. She sat across from him in the shuttle and watched him the entire ride home.

  “We were all so worried,” said Patrick.

  “I know, Dad. Could you try to think happy thoughts? I’m having a hard time with the acceleration. It’s empathic assault.”

  Cole got angry again before quickly channeling his thoughts back to the good. Aiden was safe, and he was going to bond with Cole. It might be a rougher start than they’d expected, not to mention earlier, but that was okay. It was an incredible honor to be Aiden’s anchor, and Cole resolved to work harder on his meditation.

  When Aiden moaned in pain it was very difficult to feel positive emotions. Determined to do what he could for his man, Cole started talking quietly about the first happy topic that came to mind. “I’m going to start saving for the trip to Earth you want,” he said. “We’ll go see where we came from, and of course we’ll go snorkeling while we’re there. Maybe check out some of the ancient sites like Stonehenge or the pyramids. Sound good?”

  Aiden nodded. “I’d like that.”

  “So would I,” said Cole. In truth, he’d go anywhere Aiden wanted.

  “And I want to attend a live hover soccer game.”

  “Of course. Let’s get you home.” He led Aiden out of the shuttle and into the Fischers’ building. When Aiden seemed barely able to move his feet, Cole said, “Maybe we should lie down.”

  “We’ll be in the living room,” said Maud.

  “If you’ll feel better with us staying out here—” Aiden started.

  His mother shook her head before he could finish. “No. It’s hard because I’m your mother, and because we’ve spent the last few years being extra protective, but this bond is between the two of you.” She stepped in and gave him a hug. Patrick followed suit and then gestured for Cole and Aiden to enter the condo first.

  Annika said to Cole, “Take good care of him.”

  “Always.”

  In short order they were both lying on Aiden’s bed, facing each other. There was a moment of slight awkwardness which Cole was determined to crush. “Aiden,” he began while the thought was only half-formed, “I can’t sense what you can, so I want you to tell me what you need. Now and in the future.” He reached out to take his partner’s hand. “I want to give you what you need, babe.”

  That ended the awkwardness, all right. Aiden put his head on Cole’s shoulder and simply said, “Hold me.”

  It was an easy request to accommodate. Cole put an arm around his man and held him tightly. To his own surprise, he wasn’t scared witless anymore. He wanted to be the one Aiden turned to for strength and comfort, wanted to be the person who was empathically safe and always there for him, and it thrilled him to no end to know Aiden would always be his to hold. And, of course, knowing Aiden loved him was another source of joy.

  After a moment of reflecting on this he realized Aiden was crying. “What’s the matter?”

  “Just overwhelmed.” Aiden said, sniffling while another tear ran down his cheek. “It was bad enough to be kidnapped, but then the foralkenoid hit and I’ve started picking up more emotions, and stronger. It’s too much. This day has been bad enough just dealing with my own emotions, and I can’t get any peace in my own head. My usual techniques can’t keep up. My mind wants the anchor connection, but there’s so much emotion. Oh God, Cole, I can’t handle this.”

  Cole hated how powerless he was in the situation. “You don’t have to handle it alone,” he said, hoping that his mere presence helped more than he felt like it did. “I’m here for you.” When Aiden didn’t respond he asked, “Is there anything else I can do? Some way I can help you focus on me and my love?”

  “Keeping positive emotions in mind helps. It’s so beautiful to feel your love.” Suddenly Aiden’s smile turned into a frown, and he cringed. “Sorry. A neighbor just got really angry.”

  “You don’t need to apologize.”

  Aiden nodded. “I’m going to be quiet for a couple minutes while I try to get some sort of control.”

  “Okay.”

  Cole could do nothing but hold Aiden and try his best to keep his own positive emotions in the forefront. To that end he marveled that this wonderful, sweet, vibrant man picked him out of everyone on the planet. He committed to putting Aiden first and making their relationship a priority, to building the foundation of a great life together, and to being the best anchor he could possibly be.

  He was startled out of introspection when Aiden said, “I think it’s starting.”

  “The bonding?”

  “Yes. It’s difficult to explain. Right now, I have all of these emotions coming at me and it’s horrible. My mind can’t deal with that, so it’s starting to gravitate to the person I’m physically and emotionally close to: you.”

  “How long will it take?”

  “It can take anywhere from a few minutes to a few hours.”

  “And you’ll know when it’s done?”

  Aiden nodded. “Yes. It will be easy and natural to focus on you. Like coming home.”

  Cole liked that description very much.

  ****

  After nearly an hour, during which Aiden was mostly silent, he suddenly tensed.

  “What?” asked Cole.

  “Nothing is working.” Tears rolled down his cheeks. “I can’t … fuck, it’s too much. Not supposed to be this bad.”

  It had to be the foralkenoid screwing with his empathy. Cole hugged tighter and did his level best to shove aside his anger at Aiden’s would-be kidnappers, instead thinking of how glad he was to have Aiden in his life. “I hate being so damn helpless.”
/>   “But you aren’t,” said Aiden. “You’re here and you’re thinking positive thoughts, which are the strongest emotions I sense, and that’s the only defense I have right now.”

  Cole was already feeling very protective, but with Aiden’s statement he grew all the more so. Unsure of how to respond, he simply looked at Aiden and let his heart do the talking. The message of love got through loud and clear, it seemed, because Aiden gave him a weak smile and settled back into his embrace.

  A few more quiet minutes later Aiden said, “I can feel the bond forming.”

  Cole had no words, just wonder. Fortunately, Aiden didn’t need words, and Cole was free to simply love him and hold him.

  Perhaps a minute and a half later Aiden’s body relaxed considerably. “It’s done,” he said. “I’m bonded to you.”

  “I’m so glad, babe.” Cole hugged his man as tightly as he dared before letting go to look him in the eye. “Are you okay?”

  “Tired.” That was obvious even before he yawned. His inability to keep his eyes open made it very clear. “So tired. I think I can sleep now. It’s easier to ignore everyone else in the building.” Another yawn. “Stay?”

  “Of course.”

  Aiden dragged himself into a sitting position, more or less. “Should probably tell my parents.”

  “Want me to come?”

  “Yes, please.”

  The kidnapping and bonding had taken a lot out of Aiden, who leaned on Cole for the short walk to the living room. He did manage the energy to say, “Mum? Dad?”

  Maud leapt out of her chair. “How are you?”

  “Tired. I bonded with Cole. Need to sleep now.”

  “Thank you for letting us know, honey. I’m so glad.” It sounded like she was about to say that she was glad things didn’t turn out as badly as they might have when someone kidnapped Aiden, but thought better of the idea. “Get some rest.”

  Cole got Aiden back to his room, stripped both of them down to their underwear, and pulled back the bedcovers. “Let’s get you to bed.”

  Aiden more or less fell into bed. Cole had barely gotten the sheet pulled up when Aiden moved in so they were spooning and said softly, “Couldn’t ask for a better anchor.”

  “I’ll do my damnedest to live up to that for the rest of my life.”

  There was no response because Aiden was already asleep. Cole smiled. He had plenty of time to live that out, anyway.

  Despite his expectation that he’d be awake for hours, he fell asleep himself in short order. His last conscious thought was that since they were going to be together for the rest of their lives, he really ought to propose marriage. Some people thought it was a useless and outdated institution, but Cole liked the idea of calling Aiden his husband.

  Chapter Ten

  When Cole woke up Aiden was still fast asleep, so he got out of bed and into the hall as quietly as he could. After using the bathroom he left a message for his supervisor, letting her know he’d be out for a few days, and then slipped back into bed. It seemed important that on this first morning, he’d be right there when Aiden woke up. After all, Aiden had been through a lot the previous day, and Cole wanted to get the new day off to a better start.

  He was playing a puzzle game on his watch when a message from Gabe popped up. Are you all right?

  It was an hour later at home than Aiden’s region, so the workday had just started. He typed back, Aiden needed to bond last night.

  Already? Whoa. Congratulations!

  Thanks. Talk soon.

  The more pressing matters needed to be talked over with Aiden. There were logistics to sort out, most urgently whether Aiden wanted to move into his apartment or find a new place together, not to mention packing and moving him to New Kilkenny. Cole wasn’t worried, merely aware that discussions needed to be had.

  Aiden slept like a stone, only stirring a few minutes before he woke up. He yawned and gave Cole a sleepy smile. “Morning,” he said, moving in to curl around Cole.

  “Good morning. Feeling better?”

  “Much. Still a bit tired, but I’m too hungry to go back to sleep.” He paused for a minute, which Cole eventually figured out was for an empathic check. “It’s strange to be considerably more sensitive to emotions than before, and yet ignoring them is ever so much easier with you around. I’m going to have more energy now that bonding with you has lightened the emotional burden.”

  “How close do I have to be?” asked Cole.

  “It’s different for everyone, so we’ll figure it out, but generally speaking, if you’re within several kilometers I shouldn’t have any difficulty unless there’s a reason for intense negative emotion from a large number of people. As I get stronger, the distance I can handle should increase, and if I’m fortunate I eventually ought to be able to manage visits to my family alone, maybe someday those interstellar research trips.” He stretched, yawning again. “Much as I’m loathe to let you go, I really am hungry.”

  Cole’s stomach rumbled in agreement. “You’re not the only one, obviously.”

  “Restroom, then breakfast,” said Aiden, as they reluctantly got out of bed.

  Cole figured he’d get water going for tea, so he headed to the kitchen. There he found Maud and Patrick sipping tea and reading the morning news.

  “I couldn’t bring myself to leave until I saw Aiden again,” said Maud.

  “My first client meeting isn’t until 9:30 today,” said Patrick, not doing a very good job of pretending he was merely having a leisurely morning at home. “Tea?”

  “Yes, thanks.”

  When Aiden saw his parents he said, “I promise I’m fine. Better than fine, actually. I feel great. I’ll have to get used to the new extent of my abilities, but it’s easier already.”

  “How’s your arm?” asked Maud.

  “A touch sore.”

  Patrick poured tea for both of them, then stood. “Casserole’s in the oven. I’ll get it.”

  “Dad’s breakfast casserole is scrumptious,” said Aiden. “He never makes it on weekdays, though.”

  Cole, having skipped dinner the previous evening, wasn’t concerned about what was for breakfast, so long as it was in ample supply.

  “You say you’re fine,” Maud said, “but you can’t just brush the events of yesterday under the rug. Neither of you.” The last bit she spoke with a pointed look at Cole.

  “Is that my mum talking, or the therapist?” asked Aiden.

  “Both.”

  He nodded. “Maybe I’m only mostly fine.”

  The admission was difficult for Cole to hear, though he’d already suspected it was the truth. He gave Aiden’s knee a squeeze under the table. “You won’t be a target now, will you?”

  “No. The demand is for unbonded empaths.”

  Cole’s heart slid back down from his throat. He wasn’t sure he’d survive having Aiden snatched away a second time. “We’ll work on getting from mostly fine to fantastic.”

  “It’s a deal,” said Aiden, and Maud smiled at them.

  The casserole Patrick brought out smelled delicious, no doubt about it, but Cole wasn’t choosy at the best of times and now was so ravenous he’d have eaten anything. He was more interested in the great quantity of casserole available.

  “You’ll be moving out, then.” Maud stated it as a fact.

  Aiden nodded as he served out casserole. “Of course.”

  “If you don’t like my apartment, my lease is up in about two months and we can look for a new place.” Cole paused to dig into his breakfast, and Aiden hadn’t exaggerated how good it was. He was grateful for the generous serving on his plate. “This is fantastic, Patrick.”

  “Thank you. I’m glad you like it.”

  “I’d like to move as soon as possible, if it’s all right by you, love.” Aiden said this with a glance over at Cole, whose heart melted all over again at hearing the endearment from his partner.

  “Absolutely. I told my supervisor I’ll be out for the rest of the week, so we can get yo
u moved in and sort out, well, everything.”

  “Is today too soon? I don’t have a large number of belongings.”

  “Not at all,” said Cole, who quite liked the idea.

  “You always think you have less until you start packing.” Maud gave the warning in a light, almost teasing tone. “You were young enough when we moved here that you missed the worst of it.”

  “Anni and I slept over at Nana and Papa’s,” said Aiden. “There was nothing bad about it, because I was excited that I’d get my own bedroom.”

  “How old were you?” Cole asked.

  “Five.”

  “Almost five,” corrected Patrick. “And your mother’s right, there’s always more than you expect. You don’t have to move it all at once, anyway. It’s going to be awfully quiet around here.”

  Maud nodded. “Yes. We’ll miss you, of course. Nevertheless, I’m so very glad you have a good anchor. Cole, I suspect it’s impossible to convey how relieved we were last night when you didn’t even hesitate.”

  “No reason to.” The statement earned him a squeeze on his knee from Aiden and beaming smiles from both Maud and Patrick.

  “I want to go to a soccer game once I get used to my new limits,” said Aiden. “And a concert. I haven’t been able to do either in over two years, you know.”

  “We’ll get tickets.” Cole really hoped sex was high on the priority list, too, though he declined to mention that in front of Aiden’s parents. “My sister’s a violinist in the County Drogheda Orchestra, so I go to her concerts every few months. You’re naturally welcome to join me if you like that style of music.”

  “It’s not my usual preference, but I’m not against going for a change of pace.”

  Cole started planning a date night around one of his sister’s concerts. There was a nice restaurant near where the orchestra performed, a place with an intimate atmosphere and mouthwatering seafood, which would round out a very classy evening. It wasn’t cheap, so he’d have to finesse his budget a little, but a few small sacrifices would be well worth it.

  He didn’t need to rush. After all, they were going to spend the rest of their lives together, so they’d have plenty of time for all manner of dates.