Moggies, Magic and Murder

by Pearl Goodfellow

  Shade halted his ablutions for a second to survey Orville. “Eww, dude, what’s that on your paws?” The young alchemist brought his hands up to his face, peering at his blackened skin. “What the Goddess is this?” He said, taking a hesitant sniff of the dark smears on his fingers.

  Fraidy began to purr. I knew from the low registers of that purr that my timid kitty wasn’t rumbling from pleasure. The black stuff on Orville’s hands was an unknown quantity in my anxious kittie’s eyes, and Fraidy wasn’t at all equipped to deal with strange anomalies. To say they made him nervous would be an understatement. All I could do was massage the little guy’s cheek again.

  I looked over his head at Orville Nugget. “Maybe it’s from the forging process?”

  Orville wiped his hands on some paper towel. “Yeah, maybe,” he said. “I dunno though … this seems to be like a powder. Along the lines of coal dust or something.”

  “Did you use coal for the forging?” I asked helpfully.

  Orville nodded. “Yeah, that’s probably it.” The teen shook the bangs out of his eyes and busied himself with collecting the helmets. He’d been working hard, and I could see his efforts etched clearly on his young face. Orville still had a mountain of work ahead of him -- these kitty helmets were only the first stage of the Dragon Steel armor. Although already expertly designed, Nugget still had to forge and mold the miniature suits of armor for the Infiniti; breastplates, shoulder plates, knee pads, etc. I was wholly invested in the brilliant alchemist’s success, of course. My cats lives depended on Orville’s knowledge of dragon-proof steel, after all.

  I looked over the row of my beloved cats, through the brick-thick plate glass, and into the HQ of the Custodians.

  The man I loved, and also my best friend in the world, David Trew, strode back and forth; his hands flying in wild gestures as he paced. Portia Fearwyn, the old witch that owned this underground lab and command room as well as the imposing edifice above it; Gaunt Manor, watched the chief, arms folded, lips pressed together in a tight scowl. I wondered vaguely what my friends could be talking about, but my mind couldn’t shake the more imposing feeling of disbelief of what was happening here right now. I couldn’t believe that less than a year ago, my life was really … I don’t know … pleasant, maybe? But also incredibly ...predictable. You can believe me when I say that life was entirely average for me. In fact, I’d say I was above average in the average stakes. Anyway, it was always just a work, sleep, eat, kinda deal, you know? My ‘social’ life consisted mostly of nights of binge-watching Miss Fisher or Father Brown while slugging back the diet cola and chomping on whatever snacks happened to beg for my attention. Which were all of them.

  But now? So much had changed. I had changed. That’s what having experiences does to you, I guess. I never had the chance to argue with my current predicament, and, if I’m to be honest, if I had been asked, I would never have consciously agreed to the situation I find myself in now. But life can pull some fast moves as I’m sure you’re aware. And if there isn’t time for the power of foresight to kick in then you have no choice but to run on your inner power. That energetic authority we all are blessed with. That energy that doesn’t involve your brain. I’m talking about the instinct you feel in your gut, your heart, in and around your ‘spidey’ senses, wherever they may be located for you. Even if its demand for attention is as delicate as fine threads; even if it’s weak and unpracticed, you feel it. You know it’s there. You always did. And you always, without fail or exception, will.

  The events of late had undoubtedly pulled the rug from under me. I had had no choice but to jump in without analysis; operating on pure instinct instead. And it’s from this place of deep knowing that I have conjured some extremely potent spells and charms. Without doubt, I am, unwillingly or not, on the path of magic. This track, my path … although I’d have never knowingly chosen it for myself ... I knew it was opening in me an expansiveness and vitality that I don’t really remember feeling since childhood. I felt that strange tingle of gratitude playfully rush under my skin. Maybe comfort zones aren’t all that? Maybe being pulled from your perch from time to time, although undoubtedly terrifying, did things to you. Things that might not feel very pleasant, but underneath the discomfort of whatever trauma you’re going through, you have a very quiet and sneaky suspicion that you might just be growing. Emotionally, mentally and spiritually.

  The Universe always has your back, Hattie. Grandma Chimera’s voice sounded as real as if she were standing right next to me. I smiled and mouthed thank you to the air, and secretly hoped Granny saw my sincere appreciation for my current situation.

  I looked into the command room once more and appraised my ‘current situation.’

  Behind Chief Para Inspector Trew and Portia Fearwyn, stood the other members of this rag-tag crew known as the Custodians. Elven beauty, Verdantia Eyebright, was in a lively conversation with her Icelandic counterpart: the Queen of the Faerie’s, Hinrika Jonsdottir. The Faery Queen, here in Glessie from the Faroe Islands, was here to help the Witch Fearwyn’s campaign against the Warlock terror.

  The Custodians; that’s the name for our little underground fellowship, in case you were wondering. I could hardly believe I was about to be inducted into this top-secret, anti-terror group. I’d resisted for so long because I hadn’t been terribly interested in practicing magic. I couldn’t save my parents from a house fire when I had tried to cast a simple Diluvium spell. And, all these years later, it still hurt.

  I know my colleagues here in this lab silently believed I possessed a magical force to be reckoned with, and it was only at this moment of time; this pristine moment of gratitude that I believed in their belief. I was ready to stand by my friends. I was ready to fight. I felt my power, and I was beginning to hope that I could put it to good use. I wanted to be instrumental in helping to save the Coven Isles, possibly the world.

  That’s why I was here at Gaunt Manor today: for my induction into the Custodians. Well, that, and getting the kitties fitted with the most scientifically advanced metal headgear known to man. If we were to fight a dragon (or two) -- and that seemed to be where we were heading right now -- then the cats would need protection. Yes, the Infiniti are immortal, but Dragonfire happens to be the only weapon that could potentially end their otherwise neverending lives. Orville Nugget’s dragonsteel offering was the only hope my kitties had against the fiery breath of a newly awoken dragon. I had faith in the awkward teen’s abilities, though. After all, Orville’s the sole inventor of the toughest and most cutting-edge cauldron on the market: The Futura 2. If anyone knows metal and its inherent properties, it’s young Nugget.

  “I know I sound ungrateful,” Fraidy’s murmur startled me from my thoughts.

  “Yes.” Carbon said, his ears twitching. “You do sound ungrateful, brother. Orville’s been working all night to get your noggin kitted up.”

  “Well, I’m grateful for LOTS of things, thanks very much!” Fraidy snapped. Goddess, he was tense. “I’m grateful that my head isn’t the size of a mutant pumpkin, for starters!” He glared at Carbon’s ample skull.

  My fire-starting cat just smirked at his timid sibling. “Well, we’re all happy we don’t have a brain the size of a lentil, bro.”

  Fraidy strained at my chest, digging his claws into my shoulders in an effort to throw himself at his antagonizing brother.

  “That’s enough!” With Fraidy in my arms still, I whirled toward my kitties. “I know everyone is feeling strained; I get it. But I don’t think fighting among ourselves is going to help much. We have enough of a battle going on outside this little outfit here without having to deal with contention on the inside.”

  “You’re just agreeing with him because you’re a whiner too,” Gloom said, casting a baleful glare at me. “And I don’t know why you’re looking at me like that because you know it’s true. If it weren’t, you’d have inducted yourself into the Custodians a long time ago.”

  “I beg your pardon?” I put Fraidy down on
the floor and took one pace toward my confrontational she-kitty. The rest of the Infiniti looked on with gigantic eyes.

  “Why are you acting so surprised?” Gloom scoffed. “Just a week ago you were all ‘No, no, I can’t join the Custodians. Oh, goodness, no, my powers are so weak!’” She placed her paws under her chin in mock damsel-in-distress terror.

  I offered Gloom a weary smile and walked over to her. I tickled her behind her ears. “I agree,” I said.

  Gloom’s purr cut off almost as soon as it started. “You agree?” Her face looked comical in its confusion.

  I continued tickling her ears. “I do. You’re right.”

  Shade hopped up on the table and placed a paw on my forearm. He looked up at me. “Old news, boss-lady,” he said. “I love you from the bottom of my paws to the tips of my ears, you know that, but this …fire incident. It’s stale. It’s old news. It’s … wait, what? You agree? You agree you’ve been stuck in a nearly twenty-year excuse to not grow as a human?”

  “Well, I’m not sure I’d go that far, buddy, I’m just --”

  Onyx, the self-appointed leader of my group of eight, cleared his throat. “I believe what my siblings are trying to say, dear Hattie, is this is the time for you to evolve. These times require it of you, in fact.”

  “Yep, yep, so there’s no confusion; evolution’s the solution to the Warlock pollution, yep.” Jet sprang upward on all four paws, nearly hitting his head on the low ceiling of the lab. He’d been freshly dosed on catnip, so his enthusiasm in all things was at an all-time high. “Wow! Yep, Jet made a poem, Jet made a poem, yep, yep.”

  I looked at my cats in turn. “Listen, guys; I don’t think you’re hearing me. I’m telling you I --”

  “You’re stuck?” Eclipse said. “Yes, we know.” ‘Clipsy pierced me with his unreadable gaze. The most enigmatic member of the Infiniti family, the workings of Eclipse’s mind is a never-ending puzzle.

  But what was more puzzling right now was my clowder of kitties’ behavior. Didn’t they hear me when I said Gloom was right?

  “Yeah, c’mon lady, you need to get real now. It’s time.”

  “Gloom, honey, I agree. I just told you that.” I whirled around to face all my cats. “That’s what I’m trying to tell you guys. So I’m not sure--”

  “We just want to be sure that you’ll no longer hide behind your victimhood, and that you’ll cast aside the need to be seen as weaker than you are. We know it’s scary to take a leap of faith into being your own true self. There is likely not one humanoid alive that hasn’t felt the brutality of self-sabotage. I’m sure I don’t know how you tolerate such a weakness.”

  “Uh, thanks, O,” I mumbled.

  Midnight bumped his head into my shin. He looked up at me. “Love you, boss-lady,” he began. “Me, the bro’s, and sis know what’s going on with you. You think if you’re not strong enough, not brave enough, not good enough...well, it makes it easier to stay outta sight, stuck in your deep groove, you know?” My night-wandering cat gave me a sheepish smile. “There ain’t no risk in being a victim.”

  I was starting to feel a little exasperated. And I felt more than a little exposed. “Guys, what on earth … I’m trying to tell you --”

  Carbon cleared his throat. “Because victimhood doesn’t permit you to grow, move, evolve or progress. Instead, it keeps you inert, locked in position, safe from fully interacting with the world.”

  “Yeah, I know, Carbs. I think you’ve all --”

  “What’s this, tough love?” David’s voice came from the doorway. He had his arms crossed, leaning against the door frame. He looked strained, but he still managed a quizzical smile.

  Gotta say, it was embarrassing being labeled a fraud in front of the man who I only ever aimed to impress.

  I let out a feeble chuckle. “They’re driving a point home, I guess.”

  “Hat, listen to them. They know what they’re talking about, and they also know how to get the best from you.”

  Gloom trotted over to my friend, and in a rare display of affection, she rubbed her cheek against David’s shin. “Trew Love makes sense for once,” she said.

  The chief gave me a sheepish grin and shrugged.

  I held up my hands in surrender then. “Guys, I don’t know if you’re hearing me, but I AGREE with you.” Going for broke now, I rather bravely faced my furry accusers. “I hid. Plain and simple. Because … well, because I was scared, alright? I am scared.”

  Without words, the Infiniti gathered around me, nudging their heads against me, purring.

  “See how truthful vulnerability will always win over inauthenticity?” Onyx opined, curling his tail around my arm. “We just wanted to be sure that you’re occupying the right headspace now.” I bent down and kissed my chief-cat’s face.

  “What’s ‘vulnerbicity?’” Shade asked, cocking his head to one side. “Is that, like, when you’re being truthful, even though you look like a bit of an idiot for doing it?”

  Everyone laughed.

  “Exactly, Shadester,” I said, rubbing his head. “Are you saying I look like an idiot?”

  “Aw, boss-lady, you’re my favorite idiot human, like, ever.”

  A dark figure swept into the doorway next to David. The sallow, pinched face of the Witch Fearwyn peered into the room. “What’s this, some kind of love-in?” She said in her no-nonsense way. “If we’re done with sharing the feelies, I believe we’re ready outside for you now, Hattie.” Portia Fearwyn didn’t give anyone the chance to argue; she just disappeared in a streak of flowing black robe.

  “You ready for this?” David asked. He looked at me, his eyes serious over his John Lennon glasses. I noticed, not for the first time, how tired he looked.

  I tried for brightness, and quipped: “No time like the present!”

  Orville tugged at my elbow. “You’ll do fine,” the young alchemist assured me. “You’re ready for this. And once we’re done I’ll get to work on Fraidy’s helmet. We’ll have his head covered in no time.” Orville walked past me and through the door after Portia. The Infiniti trotted after him, Fraidy taking up the rear.

  This was it then. In a few minutes I’d be a fully-fledged member of the Custodians, and I’d be expected to help in all ways possible to eliminate the Warlock threat.

  David took me by the elbow. “I’m proud of you, Hat,” he said. “Shall we?”

  I felt the tingle of his words penetrate my nerve endings, but I quickly realized it was actually my phone vibrating in my pocket. I fished it out while David raised his eyebrows in question.

  My own brow furrowed when I saw the caller i.d. “It’s Reverend Peacefield,” I said, looking up at the chief. “Well, I think our dear Thaddeus can wait an hour or so for a callback, yeah?”

  I nodded. Whatever Gless Inlet’s holy man wanted could hold for a little while. I made a mental note to return his call straight after the ceremony. My induction. I felt nervous, yes. But I felt a warmth inside me that needed no analysis. It told me I’m ready for this.

  And, I am.

  I’m ready.

  CHAPTER 2

  “I, Hattie Jenkins do solemnly --”

  “Full name, please,” Portia said, peering at me over the rim of her ancient grimoire.

  “I, Hattie Rose --”

  “And by full name, I mean birth name.”

  I rolled my eyes.

  Believe me; I wasn’t joking when I said I was committed to this cause. I felt it in my heart this time. But, I don’t know, pomp and ceremony made me uncomfortable. It just seemed so hokey, you know?

  “I, Seraphim Rose Joyvive, do ….” I trailed off. Uttering the name I was born with, but never actually used, was hard. My parents had called me Seraphim. As the name implies, it embodies an angel of the highest order. The fact that my birth kept my father from having to enlist in the Coven Isles Military service at the height of the Warlock cold war, spurred my parents to furnish me with such a lofty title. To them, I was their guardian angel. At the time, a new
born was about the only circumstance that would permit a man of fighting age to stay home with his family.

  Although I had now turned a corner with this joining the Custodian’s thing, speaking my birth name made me feel like a fraud.

  Portia snapped the grimoire shut and narrowed her eyes at me. “Are you going to stand there like a precious lemon or are you going to take this seriously?”

  “I - I, of course, yes.” I stammered. I cleared my throat, and straightened my spine, looking at the small circle of already inducted Custodians.

  “Good. Let’s try this again shall we?” The Witch Fearwyn opened her ancient handbook once more, obviously following some archaic guideline for good-guy ceremonies.

  “I, Seraphim Rose Joyvive, do --”

  “What’s that?” Fraidy interrupted.

  “What?” We answered in chorus, our heads swerving toward my cat.

  “That!” He struck a paw at a segment of sky between Gaunt Manor and the patch of ceremonial ground where we all stood. All heads turned to where my scaredy-cat’s claw pointed.

  At first I couldn’t see anything; the darkening sky already in turmoil from the bruised clouds that scudded across its heavenly expanse. But then a small shape; swift, nimble, black and glittering,

  flew into view. It almost looked like a diamond. But a diamond the size of, say, a large orange. A sickly green light surrounded the object. It hovered, perfectly still for a second, and then with mercurial speed, it darted toward us and came to a complete stop about ten feet above the ground, and no less than twenty feet before us. I took a step toward it.

  Portia dropped the grimoire to the ground. “Get behind me.” She barely whispered her command, and everyone remained dumbly rooted in position. “Now!” She bellowed.

  The Infiniti, David, me, Hinrika Jonsdottir, and Verdantia Eyebright; we all sprinted behind Portia, just as she pulled out her Cherrywood wand.

  Orville remained on the spot, staring up at the curious device. His inner scientist couldn’t resist this strange anomaly, I guess.