“Nigga, what’s wrong with you?” Roc said, punching his chest. “Why you do yo’ sister like that?”
I couldn’t believe Roc’s punch didn’t cause Li’l Roc to shed one tear. It sounded off pretty loud to me, and calling him a nigga just . . . It just bothered the hell out of me.
“Speak when I’m talkin’ to you, fool!” Roc demanded of his son.
Li’l Roc didn’t say a word, just mean mugged his father as if he could tear him apart. That made Roc even madder and he grabbed him by his shirt.
I quickly put Chassidy down and touched Roc’s shoulder. “Look. I know this is your child, but he didn’t mean no harm. Kids have accidents all the time and it’s no big deal. Please don’t talk to your son like that. There is a better way to handle children when they get out of line. Chastising him by punching him is not the way.”
“Fuck that. He needs to man up and take responsibility for his actions. I’m not raisin’ no punk, Dez, so you can get that shit out of your head.”
“There will come a time when he needs to man up, but you need to let a five-year-old be a five-year-old. Now, please let go of his shirt. You can do whatever it is that you want to do with your son, but not in my presence.”
Roc let go of Li’l Roc’s shirt. “You lucky today, but get your butt over there to your sister and apologize. And if you ever treat her like that again, I’ma put—”
I covered Roc’s mouth, but he moved my hand away. “Put my foot up your ass!”
Li’l Roc apologized to Chassidy, but she couldn’t care less. Yet again, I was pretty darn upset with Roc about his actions, but, for now, I left the situation alone. I told Li’l Roc and Chassidy to follow me down by the water, and showed them how to toss their rods into the water. At first, Roc was too mad to say anything, but after he realized that nobody was tripping but him, he finally got his act together. He helped Li’l Roc toss his rod, and the farther it went into the water, they gave each other high-fives. Chassidy could barely throw her rod, and after a while, all she did was chase the ducks that had come over to us. She was trying to pet them, and so was Li’l Roc. A few minutes later, Roc had a tug on his rod, and the two of them reeled in a fish. It was a mid-sized pan fish and was wobbling all over. Roc pulled it out of the water, watching it flop around in the grass. He and Li’l Roc both looked kind of scared of it.
“Now what?” Roc said, looking down at it.
“Touch it,” I said. “Pick it up and touch it, before we throw it back in the water.”
Roc frowned, but reached down to pick it up. The fish slipped out of his hand, causing me and Li’l Roc to laugh. I hurried to pick up the fish, inviting the kids to touch it. Li’l Roc hesitantly touched it, but said that it felt slimy.
“Yes, it does,” I said, pointing out different parts of the fish. “These are his fins, his tail is right here, and these are scales. He’s called a pan fish because he’s just big enough for you to fry him in a pan. Can you see his eyes? What color are they?”
Li’l Roc moved closer, observing the fish and touching him again. “They look blue. Are we going to take him home to cook him?”
“No, I think we’d better put him back into the water. He really likes it there, but maybe we can try to catch another one that looks different. Great job on catching this one and thumbs up!”
I gave Li’l Roc a high-five and he was all smiles. I let him throw the fish back into the water and he did. He was anxious to catch another one, but, unfortunately for us, we stood in the hot sun for at least another hour and didn’t catch a thing. Afterward, we played ball with the kids and lay out on the blanket, laughing and talking as if our lives had not missed one beat. Chassidy was getting antsy, so I suggested packing up and leaving.
The drive home was noisy as ever. The kids were talking and so were Roc and I. I really enjoyed my day with him, and looked forward to many more days like this to come. When we got back to my house, I cooked dinner, we watched a movie, the kids took showers, and then we called it a night. Chassidy had fallen asleep on Roc’s lap, and wherever her The Princess and the Frog pillow lay, so did she. He carried her to her room, and I got the guestroom prepared for Li’l Roc. Latrel had so many action figures, video games, puzzles, etc. in his room in the basement, so I took Li’l Roc downstairs so he could gather some things to take to the upstairs guestroom with him. He picked up Latrel’s Xbox and also got some games. He liked the big puzzle pieces of Iron Man, so I picked those up too. All kinds of books lined Latrel’s bookshelves, so I picked up two books I figured Li’l Roc would like.
“Do you like to read?” I asked.
“No, I hate books.”
“Why?”
“Because my teacher makes me read them at school.”
“Then you must have a very, very smart teacher. She just wants you to be smart too, and I do as well. Reading books is so good for you and it’s an excellent way to feed your brain. Your brain has to eat, you know. And when you feed it, wowww, so many wonderful things can happen to you. Remember that, okay?”
Li’l Roc nodded and we carried the items up to the guestroom. I could hear Roc talking to someone on his phone, so I let him handle his business with whomever and got Li’l Roc situated for bed.
“Now, you can watch the television and play with the puzzle tonight. Your dad can hook up the game for you tomorrow, but I want you to get some sleep. I hope you’re comfortable. Do you like lights on or lights off?”
“Lights off!” he yelled, pulling the covers over his head.
“Well, okay.” I smiled, turning the lights off on my way out.
“Miss Dez,” he said.
“Yes.”
“Thanks for being nice. My mama said you were a mean B.”
I was stunned, but then again, no, I wasn’t. “You’re welcome. And I’m glad that you got a chance to see that I’m not mean.”
He smiled and I walked down the hallway, shaking my head. How dare Vanessa say something like that to her son, with her dysfunctional self? What a poor excuse for a mother.
When I got to my room, Roc was sitting in my chair, laughing at what someone was saying on the other end of the phone. I went into my closet, stripped naked, and gathered my things for a shower. I tossed my nightgown over my shoulder and slipped into my house shoes. Leaving the closet, I eyeballed Roc and his eyes got wider. He licked his lips and tried to cut his conversation short.
“Uh, say, man . . . hold that thought.” The person on the other end kept talking, and I watched Roc nod his head. I made my way to the bathroom and turned on the water in the shower. Wasting no more time, I got inside and started to lather myself. A few minutes later, Roc joined me. I had the pleasure of lathering his body, and the look of the white, sudsy soap against his black sexy body was priceless. I dropped the soap, pressing my body as close to his as I could. My arms rested on his shoulders, and before I said anything, I delivered a passionate kiss that locked our lips for minutes.
“Mmmm,” Roc said, backing away from me. “Let’s hurry this shit up so we can get to the bed.”
“I say be creative and work with whatever space you have.”
He smiled and rubbed his hands up and down on my backside. “Then I say bend that ass over and let’s get this shit started.”
After Roc strapped up with a condom, his wish was my command. We tore it up in the bathroom, but being in the shower didn’t allow us the space we needed. The bedroom definitely did, and as Roc fucked me doggie style on the bed, I couldn’t get enough. I threw myself back at him, as he tightly squeezed my hips. I massaged my own breasts and was on cloud nine feeling his hard, long meat slide in and out of me. His rhythm was perfect and the way he eased in from different angles was impressive. I felt defeated, and pulled on my hair.
“You . . . you got me, Roc. I am hooked on the way you do this pussy. You treat it so well and I loooove it!”
“I’m hooked like a muthafucka too. I crave for this shit, baby, every gotdamn day of my life! Nobody makes me feel
like this. Nobody!”
I could feel Roc’s dick thumping inside of me and I knew what was coming next. “Daaammmn, Dez, baby, why you fuckin’ me like this.”
“Ohhh, Roc, I’m there. Just . . . just keep at it, baby, and I will give you something special to remember.”
I cut loose on Roc, coating his shaft and leaving his balls dripping wet. He held on tightly to my hips, and we both fell forward, completely out of breath. Slowly, he rolled over next to me, trying to gather himself.
I rested my head in my hand, looking over at him. “Do you think the kids heard us? We were pretty loud, you know. Maybe you should go check on Li’l Roc. I’m surprised you didn’t go tuck him in.”
“With your door closed, I doubt that they heard us. As for tuckin’ him in, please. He don’t need to be treated like no baby and those days are long gone. And if they did hear us, Li’l Roc knows what’s up.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means he knows what it sounds like when a woman and man are havin’ sex. It also means stay put ’cause it ain’t yo’ business.”
I reached over, rubbing his chest. “You know, I often wonder how the two of us are going to make this work. It’s like we’ve come from two different worlds, trying to pull it together to create one that will make sense. Do you think it’s possible for us to do it? I mean, the way you want to live your life is so different from the way I want to live mine. I’m forty-two years old, Roc, and even though I sometimes think this is just about us having fun, there’s so much more to it than that. I have very strong feelings for you and there are times that I feel as if I’m in love. Then I ask myself if I could be serious, because this thing between us is complicated in many ways. Am I analyzing things too much? Do you ever think or feel how I do?”
“All the time, ma, but I’m hopin’ that these feelings that we have for each other keep us together, no matter what. We gon’ have to learn to compromise on some things, especially you. I’m usually down for whatever, but you the one who set in your ways. Never will I make you feel hoodwinked, bamboozled, or led astray. My shit is out there for you to see, and you have to decide what’s up.”
“Let’s be real, Roc. You haven’t been that open and honest with me about everything. I’m left to assume a lot, and not once have you said where you would like for our relationship to stand. I mean, what are we? Friends, companions, lovers . . . What? I need to know, only because I want to know what I can and cannot expect from you. Does that make sense?”
“We can be whatever you want us to be.”
“No, that’s bullshit and you know it. I already told you that I would never pursue a relationship with a man who wasn’t ready, but are you ready to give me all that I may require?”
Roc was silent for a while, and I already knew this was a conversation he didn’t want to have. “I would love to give you everything you require, but I got some loose ends to tie up. I planned on doin’ so, and I can assure you that it will be taken care of soon.”
“Loose ends meaning women? Just how many women are you seeing?”
“I’m not sexing nobody but you, but I still got some close friends here and there. It ain’t nothin’ serious about the shit and most of them fell off when I went to prison.”
I sat up in bed, pulling the covers up over me. Roc followed suit and both of us sat against the headboard. “So, let me get this straight. For the record, you are only having sex with me?”
Roc turned to me with a very serious look on his face. “No one but you.”
“Are you sure?”
“Positive.”
“Why only me?”
“Why not you? I’m one hundred percent satisfied with how you put it on me, and I seek no one else to give me what only you can.”
I shook my head, not even telling Roc that in no way did I believe him. If he was telling the truth, he was going to have to forgive me for giving him no credit. There was just something about him that made me not want to trust a word that he’d said. Then again, he was so into this thing with us that maybe I was wrong for feeling as I did. At this point, I wanted to pull my hair out for not being able to put my finger on the doubtful feeling I had inside. I don’t know why I had such a skeptical feeling, but I knew my gut didn’t lie.
Chapter 4
For the last month and a half, things had been progressing very well. Roc and I were spending an enormous amount of time together, especially with the kids. Latrel had been home twice, and he and Roc got along well. We went everywhere together and it was such a joy to see all of us on the same page. I had not been back to Roc’s place to visit, but he had spent plenty of nights at my house. Maybe even more than he had been spending at his, and he often brought Li’l Roc with him. Latrel was overly thrilled about me and Roc getting back together. So thrilled that when I asked if he’d call Sherri to take her out again, he promised me that he would.
Another good thing that happened was that I’d gotten Roc a job in the mailroom where I worked. I wasn’t worried about Greg working there because our so-called relationship was over. Roc didn’t deliver the mail on my floor, and that was a good thing. In no way did I think it was a good idea to have him around twenty-four-seven, because he seemed like the kind of person who sometimes needed space. I did too, so whenever he didn’t call for a couple of days, I was okay with it. As long as we didn’t go weeks without speaking to each other, that was fine by me.
Mr. Anderson had been back from his business trip, and as usual, he had me running around the office like a chicken with its head cut off. I was standing in another VP’s office, waiting on him to sign some papers that Mr. Anderson needed right away. Dressed in my silk purple ruffled blouse and hip-hugging gray skirt, I waited for Mr. Blevins to end a call. He held up one finger, nodding his head and whispering that he’d be with me in a minute. Just to give him privacy, I exited his office, taking a seat in a chair that was right outside of his door. I crossed my legs, looking at my bare legs and high-heeled black shoes. As soon as I looked up, I saw Greg coming my way. I did my best to avoid him by turning my head in the other direction as if I didn’t see him. That, of course, didn’t work.
“Hello there, Miss Thickety Thick,” he said, checking me out. I hated to be called that, and it bothered me that he always referred to me as being thick. True to the fact or not, he didn’t have to always say it. I stood, just to address him appropriately.
“Hi, Greg. How are you?”
“Sexy lady, I would be so much better if you would agree to go out on another date with me. I hope that’s not asking too much.”
I didn’t want to hurt Greg’s feelings, but he really wasn’t my type. He wasn’t a bad-looking man, but he was a bit too thin for my taste. He was kind of nerdy, too, and he was very much the opposite of Roc. “Let me think about it, Greg. I am seeing someone else right now, but it’s nothing serious.”
He swiped his forehead and smiled. “Whew, I’m glad to hear that. I hope you call soon and you know I’ll be waiting.”
I heard Mr. Blevins call for me, so I told Greg I would talk to him later. When I walked back into Mr. Blevins’s office, he had the papers signed, ready to give back to me.
“Sorry for your wait,” he said. “Tell John I’ll see him around seven and do not be late.”
“Will do.” I smiled.
I returned to Mr. Anderson’s office, and he had his back turned while on the phone. He didn’t hear me come in, but I could hear him whispering something over the phone. Now, as his administrative assistant, I knew what his phone calls were all about. I knew what his so-called extended business trips were about too, but it wasn’t my place to say one word. As he laughed at the caller, I cleared my throat. He quickly swung his chair around, abruptly ending his call. I handed the papers from Mr. Blevins to him.
“Mr. Blevins said he’d see you around seven and don’t be late.”
Mr. Anderson slapped his forehead. “Oops, I almost forgot about that. Thanks for reminding me.” He looke
d at his watch. “Have you had lunch yet, or would you like to run across the street with me to get a bite to eat?”
“I’ll pass. I’m trying to watch my weight a little, so I’m going to just grab something quick from the cafeteria. Thanks, though, and if you don’t mind, I’m leaving in about five minutes. Is there anything else you would like for me to do before I go?”
“Nope. Just close my door on your way out. If I’m not back when you get here, I will see you tomorrow.”
“Okay. Thanks again.”
I left Mr. Anderson’s office, closing the door behind me. He was really too nice to me, but at times could be a flirt. When I first started working for him, all he did was compliment me on how I looked and his stares made me uncomfortable. I didn’t mind the compliments, but it was the way he said them that made the difference. One day, I pulled him aside, telling him how I felt and assuring him that I was in no way interested in married men. I didn’t care much for dating much older men, either, so we got that conversation out of the way real quick. Since then, he chilled and we continued to get along just fine. He didn’t say much about his daughter, Sherri, going on a date with Latrel, and I said nothing about it either.
I removed ten dollars from my purse and headed to the cafeteria to get something to eat. A couple of times I had been to the gym with Roc. Since I had been cutting back on eating so much, I felt myself losing a little weight. It wasn’t much to brag about, and it wasn’t like I had really been trying.
The cafeteria was crowded with some of my coworkers, as well as students. Normally, I sat with three other ladies from another department, Val, Bethany, and Emma. They were much older ladies, and I think Val was the only one who was in her forties like me. Emma waved so I could see them, and after I paid for my chicken salad and fruit, I went over to the table to take a seat. They all spoke and I spoke back.
Full Figured 3: Carl Weber Presents Page 5
