by Lucy Gage
Neil had barely contained his annoyance at her irritating behavior.
He’d have preferred to leave his Acura at the airport and drive himself back to post, but she’d thrown a fit when he had suggested it. It was easier to let her drive him to L.A. and back, even if it seemed like a waste of gas to him.
As soon as they’d climbed into her truck, she’d insisted on kissing him passionately and then straddling his hips, trying to undress him in the front seat of her GMC. Neil was surprised she’d waited that long.
“Beth,” he said through kisses, “we can’t do this here. Don’t be stupid. Someone could see us.”
He held her away from his body. She was strong, but he was stronger. Knowing his luck, she’d fight it and turn that into foreplay. She liked that sort of thing, for what reason, he couldn’t fathom.
To his surprise, she moved off his lap and into the driver’s seat. As she fastened her seat belt and turned over the ignition, she was silent. Uh oh. She was pissed. Not good at all. This would be a very long ride back to post. Why did he let her act as his taxi driver?
Was he stupid enough to poke the bear?
Yes.
“What’s wrong?”
“Did you even miss me, Neil?” she asked, claws bared. Oh, shit. Even worse, she had used his first name and had channeled her inner Latina. Her bitchy soldier mode he could handle, but irate Latina resembled holding a live firecracker. You knew it would explode, you just had no clue exactly when it would shoot into the stratosphere.
Neil sighed. If he admitted the truth, that he’d barely thought of her the entire Christmas holiday he was home with his family, she’d be angry. Not hurt. Not Beth. No, she’d be pissed. In her mind, pining for her ranked as his number one obligation outside his military duty. He’d admit, sometimes, even when they were together, his mind wandered.
After several months as a couple, you’d think he would have either fallen for her or just cut and run. While he sometimes liked having her around and he enjoyed sleeping with her, he didn’t love her, not even a little. And yet, he couldn’t justify walking away when they got along well in bed and he did care for her. Given her current attitude, he could only assume she still cared for him, too.
“Of course, I missed you,” he said. It was true. Briefly.
“You only called once. And you’re pushing me away when I want to show you how much I missed you.”
He fought the urge to roll his eyes. Trying to play hurt girlfriend didn’t work with him, not in Beth’s case. She proudly resembled the opposite of a typical girl.
One advantage to dating Beth? He never had to candy-coat fights. She had no qualms about fighting mean and dirty, and he had learned early that she respected him more if he treated her like one of the guys everywhere but in bed. She expected foul language, straightforward statements and questions, no flowery words and no pussyfooting.
“In three days, I called you the one full day I was gone. I traveled the other two, so you saw me once each of those days. And you’re nuts if you think I’m going to fuck you senseless in the parking garage at LAX. I like my job and plan to keep it. Fucking at the airport is asking to get caught. I know you get off screwing in forbidden places, but you know I don’t. Did you think I’d miss you so much that I’d change my tune? As if. You’re not that dumb.”
She sighed heavily. “Fine. I wanted to get laid and yes, I wanted you to fuck me in the parking garage because we’re not supposed to do it. So sue me.”
“Stop acting like a whiny girl.”
She glanced at him briefly, a devilish smile passing her lips.
“Would you rather I acted like a naughty schoolgirl?”
Neil shook his head. She liked role playing, too. Another thing he didn’t find exciting the way she did, at least not so far.
“Not my cup of tea.”
She snorted. “You don’t drink tea.”
Neil didn’t bother to point out that he did, in fact, drink tea every day of his childhood. He just preferred coffee for his morning brew, a habit he’d picked up in college. His mother still served tea several times each day and he relished those moments with his parents.
It wasn’t what she meant, anyway.
Instead, he said, “We’ll be home before you know it. Why don’t you spend the night tonight. Owen sent me a text earlier and said he’d be at Jody’s, so he’s at your place.”
“Do we get to use the handcuffs?” she asked with a sly smile.
“Okay. Fine.”
He liked living in the same place as his best friend, working on the same post, finally, but the fact that they currently dated roommates grated a little. Not because of Owen, but because of the women in question. They had no propriety.
He never let her play those games with Owen around. No need to make his best friend party to it, though he had told Owen the details, mostly for self-preservation. Neil didn’t usually kiss and tell, but he might need someone to help him out of handcuffs someday. Better to explain that ahead than to worry about it when you were bare-assed.
The promise of kink worked to pacify her. One of these days, he’d get fed up with her antics and walk away.
But not today. Not yet.
**********
Philadelphia International Airport, eight months ago…
Meg leaned into her seat and sighed, ready to be home, done with traveling, to sit in her Accord and drive on real roads. No more Thai version of how life should be, no more cramped airplane seats. Eyes closed, she hoped this last leg of her flight would offer a little rest.
A bag hit her arm and a male voice said, “Oh, sorry.”
Her eyes opened and she turned to her seat mate. He seemed tall, taller than her sitting down and his legs looked long. Brown hair, with a rakishly handsome cut, as if he were auditioning for the role of Duke #2 in some period film.
His eyes, a startling, pale blue like Em’s, the color you often saw on Huskies, engaged hers. He remedied his dry lips by flicking his tongue across them. In short, the man embodied sexy.
Then reality hit again. Damn it! I’m too horny. This is ridiculous. She sighed and forced a smile. “No big deal,” she said, and then closed her eyes again. In moments, her breathing steadied and she drifted off to sleep.
Meg woke with a start when she felt the thrust of the plane as it launched down the runway. Instinctively, she grabbed the hand next to hers. Then she looked at the owner of said hand, and tried to pull it away. He wouldn’t let go and in fact, he squeezed hers tighter, giving a small smile. She returned it.
She held his hand – or he held hers – the entire ascent through the extinguishing of the seat belt sign. Once the light blinked off, he let Meg take her hand back. She shifted in her seat and took a deep breath.
“I’m Justin,” her seatmate said, offering his other hand to shake.
She shook it and replied, “Meg. Sorry about that.”
“No trouble. I needed a good hand-holding myself.”
Meg smiled. “Did you, now?”
“Oh, yes, I was terrified.”
“Huh. Wouldn’t have guessed.”
“I hide it well. I get nervous every time I fly.”
“Not a frequent-flier?”
“The opposite. I fly regularly. I live in Philly, but I work out of an office in Portland. I’m on this flight at least once or twice each week.”
Around, but not all the time. He might be a good rebound hookup. All her friends believed that she slept with the guys she expected to be rebounds, but that was actually pretty rare. Usually, she’d date them, certainly kiss them, maybe fool around, and then walk away, knowing that it wasn’t meant to be more than casual. This love ‘em and leave ‘em attitude made everyone assume that Meg climbed into bed with every guy. Because she’d always been tight-lipped, no one knew the real score, not even Em, who heard the details worth repeating.
Of course, the one time she actually did take a man home, slept with him and then kicked him to the curb had been Jason, an
d Em, Nina and Charlie had witnessed that.
Jason had been one of her few regrets, not because she’d slept with him, but because he might have been a good boyfriend. She’d seen him last year, in Boston, during a visit with Carlos. Jason and a blond woman strolled through Harvard Square with a little girl who had his blue eyes and brown hair.
He’d caught Meg’s eye and offered a sad smile that said he recognized her and that she’d been right. She returned the smile to let him know that she was happy for him, if a little sad for her. He might have been the one, and she never gave him a chance.
Clearly, she needed to have a good fling. Sex was never off the table, but a guy had to prove his worth before she ever offered it. At the very least, maybe she could spend some time with a new guy and forget the unpleasant memory of meeting her boyfriend’s ex at dinner, then having him waffle about staying together versus going back to the woman. Meg made the choice simple, dumped his ass and booked the trip to Thailand.
“You look a little preoccupied,” Justin said.
“Maybe. I was thinking about my ex.”
“Bad breakup?”
“Not really. He couldn’t decide if he wanted to go back to his ex, so I made the decision for him.”
“Were you just with him for the holidays?”
“Oh, no. I was on vacation in Thailand. I went to a yogic retreat.”
“How was that?”
“Ask me in a few weeks, when I get my life back to normal, start eating real food again, and don’t look like an emaciated shell.”
“So this isn’t your usual look?”
“You mean anorexic model? No. I like food. I have excellent metabolism, and I don’t need to diet like most women do at my age. If you had some extra pounds on you, the retreat would be a great way to lose that. I didn’t, and I lost anyway. I feel like I need to eat junk for a week straight so I can’t see my ribs and my boobs don’t look saggy.”
Justin laughed. “I don’t know. From where I sit, I doubt your boobs are saggy.”
“Trust me, they are.”
“Trust you, huh? I don’t get to see for myself?”
“I don’t know you well enough to flash you my boobs.”
“That’s too bad. I was hoping to join the mile high club.”
Meg’s eyebrows shot up.
“Kidding. Only kidding. So, Meg, what do you do?”
As they landed, they exchanged numbers and agreed to dinner.
It’s dinner. Nothing more. It probably won’t go anywhere, and I’m fine with that, she thought.
But the start toward new possibilities, if she could hold off the sexual relationship, gave her hope that she might not have wasted the trip to Thailand after all.
**********
Ft. Irwin National Training Center, California, Six months ago…
Neil felt guilty about being a shitty boyfriend on several levels.
For one, he hadn’t been around much. With his unit deploying to Afghanistan in six months, he had a long list of training modules on his schedule. They would depart two weeks after Danny’s wedding, and he had hoped to take leave, preferably the week before the wedding. With training complete, chances were good he’d get it.
For another, Neil had been easily distracted outside work since Danny told him, in August, that he was proposing to Charlie. After Danny mentioned that Meghan Miles would be invited to the wedding, Neil thought about her at least once each day, sometimes more, even after he’d started dating Beth. He could be naked with Beth, and Neil might find his mind wandering.
When Beth wasn’t around, it didn’t much matter who he thought about. But when she was, she wanted to be the only woman on his mind. And as his girlfriend, she should have been.
But she wasn’t.
So, to make up for his bad boyfriend behavior, Neil decided he’d surprise Beth today. She’d had overnight training recently, and he knew she was home, probably asleep. When he finished early at the shooting range, he figured he’d show up at her place and crawl in bed with her.
Smiling as he took out the key to her condo, he hoped her reaction would be more than pleasantly surprised. He’d missed her recently, missed sex with her, anyway, and he wanted to do more than cuddle.
Not that she cuddled.
He removed his boots by the door and walked quietly down to Beth’s bedroom, expecting to creep through the door and silently strip before he curled around her body. Surprised to find the bedroom door ajar, the shock multiplied at what awaited him on the other side.
There lay Private Peterson, buck-ass naked and breathing heavily.
Straddling his hips, riding the kid like a bucking bronco, Beth didn’t hear him. Too far into the throes, he knew she wouldn’t stop for anything now. But Peterson, a soldier under her command, saw the Captain in the doorway and his shocked eyes betrayed him. Cheating on Neil paled compared to the fact that Beth had breached protocol.
Neil steeled his jaw, flared his nostrils and turned on his heel. He swiftly walked down the hall to the kitchen, yanked the key to Beth’s place off his keyring, slapped it onto the counter, shoved his feet in his boots without tying them and slammed the door behind him.
He blew out a frustrated breath. Not a drop of sadness. Nope, he was pissed. How did I not see this? Because he didn’t want to see it. She had been distant for a while, since before Christmas. Neil had blamed himself, because Meghan had occupied his thoughts so often. The more his brain conjured Meghan, the better he understood that this thing with Beth had a very short shelf life. He just wished he’d listened to his instincts and walked away sooner.
When he pulled up to his condo, he saw Owen’s truck in the driveway. Good. He could tell Owen what he’d found and his best friend could relay the message to Beth that they were through. Neil didn’t even want to speak to her again, and Owen’s girlfriend was her roommate and best friend. Jody could tell Beth that she’d been caught. Neil didn’t want to look at her if he could avoid it. He hated cheaters. If you can’t be big enough to end it when you want out, before you turn to someone else, then you’re a coward.
He opened the door a little too hard and nearly whacked Owen in the head as his roommate walked past, toward the kitchen.
“Jesus, Murph. What’s your issue?”
“Sorry, Sarge. Just went to Beth’s.”
“And? She fight with you again? When are you going to cut her loose? She irritates you whenever you’re not naked together. It’s worse now than it ever was.”
“We’re through. Make sure you tell Jody, okay?”
“What? I don’t get it.”
“She was fucking Private Peterson.”
“Oh, shit. You caught them?”
“Beth had no idea I was there. He saw me. He might be too chickenshit to tell her. She is his boss, after all. So make sure you tell Jody, okay? I don’t want to see or speak to Beth ever again. I haven’t been feeling it for months, but I didn’t think it had come to this.”
“Cheating is the coward’s way,” Owen said.
Neil’s brows went up in agreement.
“It’s for the best, anyway. I can’t see her waiting around while I’m deployed. I didn’t see her being faithful then. Besides, now I’ll be single when Danny gets married in August.”
Owen’s eyebrows shot up toward his hairline, which was a feat, given that his near-black hair was buzzed. “You’re staying celibate until then? You do realize that you’re going to war, right?”
Neil laughed. “Yes, I realize that. And I’m not saying I won’t date, Sarge. But I have no desire to find a new girlfriend before then. I want to be single when I see Meghan.”
“You’re still hung up on that girl, huh?” Owen asked as he made them each a couple of sandwiches.
“Always. I’ve never been able to get her out of my head. You know that.” Neil grabbed fruit from the fridge.
“You don’t want to get her out of your head.”
“Well, there’s that, too. I thought I saw her at the
airport over Christmas, when Beth picked me up.”
“You saw her?”
“Not sure. Maybe. Didn’t get a chance to talk to her. Wish I had.”
Maybe he’d have had the guts to pursue her and would have ended things with Beth before his girlfriend made him look like an ass. Then again, maybe not. Since that one day in high school, he’d always been tongue-tied near Meghan.
Owen laughed. “Yeah, all you ever do is wish, Murph. Why is it again that you can’t talk to this girl?”
“No idea. She’s like a goddess. A supermodel, really. She’s smart, too. And kind. She’s the whole package. I talked to her a couple times. I don’t know. It was like she walked away the last time and my brain hasn’t let me talk to her since.”
“Guess you have six months to tell your brain to get a clue. You know Uncle Sam won’t guarantee your safety. Might be your last shot. It was for Tiger. Among other people.”
Owen sighed and his eyes grew dark for a moment.
Neil clapped him on the shoulder. “I promise, I’ll try to avoid getting blown up or shot. Who would keep your ass in line?”
A grin quirked the edge of Owen’s mouth. “Not you. I’m the one who keeps your ass in line. Sir.”
Neil laughed along with Owen. Technically, Neil was Owen’s superior, because he was an officer and Owen was enlisted. But they never worried about it at home. They had been friends first, had been through Basic together, along with Jack and his best friend, John. The four of them had been thick as thieves and the only change in their dynamic had come when Owen was promoted to Sergeant as soon as the chemical weapons disposal unit he, John and Jack belonged to had landed in Baghdad six years ago.
After Basic, Neil went to college, joined Army ROTC and trained summers to hone his marksmanship skills in anticipation of trying out for special forces. His unit had gone to Baghdad before he officially joined, while he was still in school, so he’d never been deployed.
When Tiger died, Jack suffered a nervous breakdown and the Army honorably discharged him. That left Neil and Owen as the only two musketeers still in Uncle Sam’s employ.
